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No. Okay. This is. I-I have about 1000 reasons why this is a terrible idea Jericho-kun and all of them involve b-being dead. This is horrible. This is terrible. Ookami-san was kind of a-a jerk but you dont' have to save someone th-the shame of being executed for it. I-I am disgusted. I-I am revolted. I-I dedicate my entire life to latex a-and silicone and /this/ is the thanks I get? No. Y-You're not dying. This is... [GRUMP SOUNDS]
“But I LEARNED IT FROM YOU, MISS HIGASHI!”
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A pepe arrives at your doorstep(?). "Sorry that you're dead. :("
“What? I’m not dead. I just got sent to a nice Dad farm upstate. It’s nice. All the facebook posts keep coming out misspelled though, even when I’m sure I’ve spellchecked it. And football’s kinda all they watch around here, and I’m not a big sports fan.
....Okay, actually, this place sucks. I’m really wishing I’d shaved more right about now.”
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! JERICHO HAS A GIRLFRIEND! JERICHO HAS A GIRLFRIEND!
(Feet running up stairs, door slamming followed by Phone dialing noises)
*sniffle* “Hello?…*sob* MOM?”
Slurred Words
"Hey, Th-that doll collector? Himeko? She’sh shumshin elshe, y’know what i means? Like…like…she’s so cute I wanna jusht pick her up and kissh her forehead. An’ she’sh sho PRETTY!"
His cheeks flush awkwardly as he slumps onto the table.
"Y’know, they shay guys aren’t shup-supposh-SUPPOSED to play with dollsh, but I’d break DAT rule in a heartbeat for a chance to be with ‘er.
No-no-I’m SHERIOUSH here, man. Lemme tells ya…she’s sho pretty and cute and niiishe, and-and-and…”
His head slumps onto the table, and he mumbles to himself for a minute before rolling his head despondently back and forth. Wait, is…is he crying? Great, now he’s WEEPY again. Somehow, this feels like a step back even from the shameless flirting.
"*Hic* would a beautiful little lady like dat want with a losher like me!? Who th’ fuck ‘m I kidding. I’m gonna die alone. Dey were right…dey were ALL right. I…I…"
*zzzzzzzz*
….He appears to have fallen asleep.
slurred words
"Pssssht! Hey, you shee dat guy over there? Shh…keep quiet, don’t look at ‘im. Shee, I hears….
He motions for you to move in closer. Putting the back of his hand to one side of his face to be more discreet, he murmurs:
"Dat guy’sh not foolin’ anyone, man. Y’know, I do a lot of readin’, and I can tellsh ya…dat guy ain’t no merchant. He’s a MADE man. You know. Wisheguy. Maif-mafie…mafiosh…Gangshter. Yup. Dat guy’sh definitely a gangshter. Keep an eye on ‘im."
He looks over at the student in question, puts two fingers facing his eyes, then points them back outward towards the student. He repeats this gesture several times before wandering off, drink still in hand, muttering something along the lines of “knew it was you….broke my heart…” in some weird voice.
What the actual crap. He stopped drinking HOURS ago. Why does he seem to be getting MORE DRUNK? Thank god Sora had only seen him at his most restrained.
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slurred words!! work with me here kevin
"Did I ever mention I LOVESH a girl with a brain? An’ she’sh like…totally cute. I wouldn’t mind getting losht in a cave somewhere with THAT, if yanno what I meansh."
He thinks he’s winking subtley and nudging you, but unfortunately it would seem his line of sight is about 8 inches from where it should be. Either that or he’s elbowing some other UNSEEN person playfully in the ribs.
"I-*hic* I wonder if she like, keepsh batsh under that shweater. Like, inshtead of shweater puppiesh, it’sh shweater BATTIES!"
His laughter is only scarcely audible through the snorts.
"But man…thoshe would be shome lucky battiesh. I needsh me shome fake wingsh and pointy earsh, shtat!"
slurred words!!
"H-hey…she’sh pretty cute. And…she’sh F-*hic*-French, yeah? That’sh like, the most romantic place on Earth, ain’t it? She musht knows a thing’er two about how to woo the ladiesh…
Maybe I’ll asks ‘er for advishe. I’m-I’m…*hic* tired of being alone. I’mma…I’mma get myshelf a girl, jusht you alls wait!”
*Whump*
…Well, at least he’s not all weepy anymore.
"Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided in the Mediterranean?"
"The survivors were totally marooned."
