#lu things

From the depths I came

from the dark

the stillness

Where none knew of my presence

but You

And even now

underwater

in the cold

facedown in the snow at night

pressed at on every side yet untouched

unfeeling

knowing nothing but the comforting weight

of the silence

I feel safe

unknown

unseen save but by You

Yet

breath taken in stillness

is time bought on loan

and refrigerated stasis

waits on unsurety

Tiny specks of light

scattered like diamonds

on the watercolour velvet of the dark

remind me of the light

that is now but a memory

I feel safe

when I can see but shades

and phantoms

and my ears tell me more than my eyes

but the cold

creeps around the back of my neck

whispering

"be still, be silent"

when I'm aching from its bite

and something in my spine shivers

knowing there's something out there I can't see

and there's nothing I can do about it

Is it You?

Is it true?

Or is it

something else?

Do I yearn for sleep?

Do I ache to grow?

Who knows?

But light--

--light!

Dew-dampened sun-warmth, tendrils soft and grasping softened mud unfrozen rain falling! mist melting!

Neither glassy silver nor frozen grey, the sky reflects the water's hue-- all azure-bright, lapis lazuli, white-and-wine-dark blue!

And my heart aches in a good way like the thousand times I recall the radiant touch of a white-gold embrace that never touches at all;

where I can see!-- --or I can't, and I'm blinded by the crystalline, rainbow-bright gleam of the hardware store where the lightings sat

(and I cried) in Aisle Fifteen.

Radiant glory beyond my control is a confusing, terrifying thing-- it brings on new growth and destroys what is dead and is brighter than what can be seen.

But still, that power and terror and awe Whom I ought to fear showing my face lightens fear from my heart weighs glory on my soul and leaves the rest of me feeling

truly

Too long I have lived in the shadow of shame / Believing that there was no way I could change / But the One who is making everything new / Doesn't see me the way that I do . . . // I am not who I was / I'm being remade / I am new / I am chosen and holy and I'm dearly loved / I am new . . . / Oh, dead to the old man, I'm coming alive / I am new . . . // Forgiven, beloved / Hidden in Christ / Made in the image of the Giver of life / Righteous and holy, reborn and remade / Accepted and worthy / This is our new name . . .

4. What's your favourite album?

If I let myself think too much about this one, I'm going to end up saying "everything except Trench and Clancy, because those took a while to grow on me."

It's Vessel.

I love Twenty One Pilots for its lyrics and for the overall tone of the whole album-- the Psalmic nature not the least; I love Blurryface because it's the first of their albums that I ever heard of and then the first one I ever listened to (plus it's an end-to-end jam, audially and lyrically speaking); I love Trench because it, too, is a jam *and* it very well says "here we are, stuck between a rock and a hard place-- but we're going somewhere, even if our feet are muddy, and we're not alone, even if our voices echo in the silence sometimes." I love Regional at Best because sure, even if the audio quality isn't what it could be, there's a heart there and it's beating plainly, raw and clear; I love Clancy because there's so, so much in there about growth and how it hurts and heals at the same time as long as there's Someone carrying you through it (maybe it doesn't feel like there is, sometimes, but the proof is in the looking-back, and in order to look back on where you are now you need to hold on and walk forward); I love Scaled and Icy because, foremost, it completely took over my earbuds this summer (and maybe helped carry me through a bit of it), and Choker made me cry even if I hate to admit it. It's also a jam. I love Breach because it brought a larger story to a close and yet told a story of its own, and in both cases it said "failure is inevitable. I'm broken, I'm flawed, I'm going to fall and come short time and time again-- but there is an end in sight, and there is Someone who's pulling me through and pulling me out of the mire again and again. They cannot conquer for ever. This will end. He found me."

But Vessel tells a story and contributes to a greater story and does it all without wasting breath. One song flows right into the next, and every sentence carries weight behind it. The themes and motifs and ideas are all tightly woven with each other. There's a consistent flavour to the sound of the music, even though each song has a unique twist of style to it. I find something new to love about it every time I listen to it again. Holding On To You was the first of those things.

12. What's your favourite song from Regional At Best?

Clear, hands-down. (It might help at the moment that I've had it on loop for the better part of the day.)

Honourable mentions to Forest, Be Concerned, and Anathema (especially the bit reworked from Blasphemy).

22. Do you own any of the CDs or vinyls?