#lozalot

Pew pew pew accept my love 💓

Thank you Loz 💖💖

1) seeing any kind of baby animal

2) PETTING said baby animal

3) a kid laughing at something I said or did💗

4) high fives 💗💗

How about Swerve! I love that gobbie sod!

well... for anyone interested... i have a new chapter in my ongoing medical saga!

I went to the hospital yesterday. Visited St. Guy’s in London. I was going in for a second opinion (Actually it was technically a third Opinion) On my foot pain.

the last time i was up there it was a disappointing meeting with the last Consultant, who said it was just a broken bone and there was nothing that could be done. while i was crying, i begged him to refer me to someone just to have another opinion, because i was in so much pain it was unbearable and this had devastated my life. He was reluctant, but i think my crying freaked him out enough for a referral to the head doctor.

so after waiting about 5 months, trying to come to terms with the discomfort and pain that apparently was something i was going to have to live with for the rest of my life, i finely get an appointment letter.

so yesterday, i went up there with my Mother-in-law, not expecting much except more disappointment and stress... and thinking that he is just going to say exactly what the other doctors have said...

he asked questions, looked at my notes, and the vast amounts of scans i have had done over the year and a bit. He examined me... and Fuck me did that hurt! A day on and the spot he kept poking at is hideously painful! No amount of painkillers seem to touch it!

but the surprising thing... the news i have been waiting for... A ray of fecking light!

He said he’s seen and treated thousands of patients... an he doesn't care what the other doctors though... he is convinced that it is the Morton’s Neuroma causing the pain, the original thing i was diagnosed with, and not a broken bone!

And i’s willing to remove the nerve!

i cannot express my joy and relief! I never though i’d ever be so happy of the prospect of an operation!

if it takes the pain away.... I’D CAMP OUT AT THE HOSPITAL!

So... form my first visit to my GP in November 2014.... it’s taken round about 15 months to get to this point....

if i could throttle someone i would! This whole ordeal has put me through so much stress, striped me of all i worked for, dropped me down and made me think my life was worth nothing...

the depression, thoughts of self harm and the suicide... all could have been avoided if i’d seen the right doctor in the first place...

I don’t have a date for my operation yet, but i’m hoping it will be soonish.

i’m going back to work on a very part time basis next month (4 hours a week)... but i’m going to have to tell my manager that some time soon i’m going to need another 6 weeks off work after the operation to heal...

wonder how that’s going to go down?

I was away form tumbler for a long time... Mostly due to all the crap and stress i’m going through. Depression and chronic pain gets to you...

But my hubby and i did go away for a week on The Broads. 

notp / not really / meh / I could / sometimes / maker, yes / my otp babbies

Who is the most affectionate? Probably Ratchet (in his own grumpy way)

Big spoon/Little spoon? Megatron’s the big spoon, Ratchet’s the little spoon

Most common argument? I can see them arguing over Megatron getting damaged all the time, and Ratchet having to take care of him XD

Favorite non-sexual activity? Reading, having Energon.

Who is most likely to carry the other? Megatron carries Ratchet

Nicknames? None

Who worries the most? Ratchet (again, in his grumpy way)

Who tops? Megatron

Who initiates kisses? Ratchet, I think

Who wakes up first? Megatron

Who says I love you first? Hmm…not sure. Maybe Ratchet?