#low-rent

#41: “You’ll Cowards Don’t Even Smoke Crack,” Viper, 2008

I’m gonna come out and admit it: it’s been too long since I continued the sad quest towards 50, and so I’m giving myself an easy one, one that’s been analyzed at length by the outside world and could even be considered a meme already. My justification is that some of you’ll (why is it you’ll and not y’all? could this be the greatest mystery of the song?) cowards haven’t even heard Viper. Even some of the cowards who have smoked crack.

The point of the song, as Chicago’s own Viper, who produces his own shit and plays the keyboards on them (which makes him like a less drugged-up Scott Storch, if you really think about it...but only think so much about it) is explained in the Vice interview linked above: when Viper’s crew sold crack, you had to smoke a little bit to ensure you were getting A-1 shit, so cowards couldn’t roll. Or as he puts it later,  “In a nutshell the motivation behind ‘You’ll Cowards Don’t Even Smoke Crack’ was this: though drugs aren’t for everyone we shouldn’t be judgmental of those who do them ‘cause pointing the one finger at them points four back at us.” (I’ve never heard that expression before, but feel free to use it the next time you need to lie to your loved ones to get out of rehab. Why you gotta judge, Dad?)

The low-rent inscrutability of this track and the poor EQing reminds me of Sensational, but it actually makes Sensational seem skilled. That said, there’s a genuine groove behind the static, and though it takes multiple listens and multiple lyric sheets to actually understand Viper’s lyrics, considering those lyrics seem to be tempting the listener into smoking crack (”You’ll know you want to try it” is somewhere in there), maybe that’s for the best. This song is patently ridiculous, but it’s also highly listenable, beyond just playing it for a joke. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a failure because it very well may be doing everything it’s intending. Except making America smoke more crack. (Maybe.)