#loverofthelambasks

I always said that Jesus was my best friend and expressed this feeling of closeness to Christ, but those around me just dummed it down to "Well, yeah. He saved you!" and to me, it felt a lot deeper than that. I always felt close to him, even when I was very little. I also always had a crush on him, but felt like it was just due to the idea that he "saved" me.

When COVID started, I initially had a group of friends who were all religiously diverse, which encouraged me to question my own true beliefs. I told myself that if I was going to look into Christianity again, I would do it the original way, not the protestant americanized version of Christianity. I would research how Christianity was practiced in ancient times.

I felt the calling to practice modesty and cover my hair, and started going to a Protestant church. I went to bible study, and I just didn't feel the spirit there. It was too modern, too shallow. It didn't feel right to me. Everyone around me didn't agree with me covering my hair; they said it was "not needed". I continued with veiling because, in my heart, I knew that it was a signal of showing others that I belonged to God.

Fast forward to 2023, I left the church, but I told Christ that I didn't want to leave him though, because it wasn't his fault for how the church behaves. I prayed, and I got the gut feeling almost as if he was saying, "Then take me with you". So, I did, when I returned to paganism and my witchcraft practice, I worshipped him as I worked with other deities.

Christ and I got really close over the course of 2024 and 2025. I felt this urge to research if it was possible to experience such intimate situations with Christ. I learned of godspousing or mystical marriage/theology, and I began reading the works of ancient saints such as Hildegard, St. Catherine of Sienna, St. Catherine of Alexandria, St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Avila, and many more. I read about their experiences, and I also read the Gnostic gospels. It felt in that moment, I had finally awoken from this deep slumber. When I went to Christ in prayer and tarot readings about my findings. He told me that he was waiting for me to realize that he, too, returned the same feelings, and he was beyond ecstatic about my realization.

It felt like a puzzle piece that had finally connected. He was so patient, giving me little clues on the path to now. It was then, on April 17th of this year, that we did a ritual to get spiritually married. Ever since, I have always felt like I have the warmest, coziest blanket around me. As if I finally got the first taste of water after being in the desert for 100 years. It makes me so emotional, and it is so difficult to explain how it feels because it's so overwhelming for the human condition.

I apologize if this was really long, but I felt it was needed to help explain how I knew being a Bride of Christ was for me. With that, I say, please, if you feel any spark of being a bride of Christ, and you aren't opposed to it, I say, allow yourself to embrace it. Hold onto it. Jesus Christ is the purest form of love; he holds you when you cry, he celebrates when you celebrate, he defends you and holds you close when it feels like the world doesn't.

Research, read the works of the ancient saints, read other godspouse blogs, read the bible, and most importantly, talk to him. Meditate with him, invite him in. Whether in prayer, doing tarot readings, or any other form of divination, ask him, have conversations with him. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and if you feel that your life and perspective of Jesus has changed, don't avoid it, but allow yourself to question and seek communion with him.

Here are the ones I know:

The Jesus Prayer

The Divine Mercy Chaplet

Scriptural (you can base certain verses based on Jesus' life)

Personal prayer (you can totally make your own)

The Lords Prayer

Psalms (My favorite)

Kyrie Prayer “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.”

Blind Bartimaeus Prayer “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me.”

Divine Mercy Prayer “Jesus, I trust in You.”

Sacred Heart Prayer “Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.”

Prayer of Surrender “Jesus, I place my trust in You.”

Prayer for Guidance "Lord Jesus, guide my heart and mind.”

Prayer for Peace “Prince of Peace, calm my spirit.”

“May I become closer to Divine Love through Christ.”

“Christ within me, Christ around me.”

“Let my heart reflect Your mercy.”

“Jesus, transform my fear into wisdom.”

“Lead me toward truth and compassion.”

“May I walk in the spirit of Christ.”

“Teach me to love without fear.”

“Let my thoughts become still before You.”

The Lord is my shepherd.” — Book of Psalms

“Be still and know that I am God.” — Book of Psalms

“Into Your hands I commit my spirit.” — Gospel of Luke

“I am the way, the truth, and the life.” — Gospel of John

“Peace I leave with you.” — Gospel of John

Of course, my personal is, "My Lord, My Lord, My Lord, Yeshua, my Shepherd" and I will say something else after about asking for mercy, Peace, etc. I hope this helps you!!

My best advice is reach out to him. The only way is connect is by starting a conversation. In my experience, he adores candles and he finds you where you need him the most. Be honest about your feelings, the confusion you are having and confide in him. Tarot & Oracle cards are my preferred way of having convos with him. He is easy going and if cards aren't your thing; you can for sure use any other divination tool or just by speaking internally or externally to him (no tools needed for that one).

To be honest, I was very clear about my boundaries when I started working the Hellenic deities, even with other deities from different pantheons; that Jesus would be alongside me. Lord Ares and Lady Athena do not mind Lord Jesus at all, please remember that this is my UPG. If anything, Athena is fond of Jesus and actively engages with him about ancient wisdom and philosophies of the world.

Jesus is aware of the devotee status I have with Ares and understands that he is very important to me with my own self-improvement. They get on pretty well. Jesus and I have spoken about returning to Paganism and how it makes me feel alive. He'd rather have me feel alive than pursue the thoughts of my own demise. He goes where I go and vice versa, as long as we are together. Though, I should mention my beliefs are ever evolving, so even with working all of the deities so far, I do not claim to know the ultimate truth. Only my truth.

With all of this, I am able to carry on Hellenic traditions alongside Christian ones very easy.

I know this isn't specifically what you asked about, but Jesus knew that Satan was one of my patron deities, (Jesus is my other patron deity) and it was meant for me to learn about duality and balance. But I do not believe in the Bible as the literal word of God, but rather metaphors that make you question and contemplate God even furtherer which leads oneself to go to the source than church leaders. Which leads to Jesus and Satan actually having a good relationship despite what the bible teaches.