#lovenightmares

I awoke one morning with a certain vigor. No, not that kind of vigor, though it did stand in attention, but that’s beside the point (god bless morning wood). Once my eyelids opened up, I found myself in agog for the coming day. I had a pearlescent glow about me. Then I realized something. I wasn’t gleaming out of the sheer joy I felt. I was sweating and profusely from the feel of it. Yet, a certain jubilation took hold of me. The intense rhythm of my beating heart brought life that for the past couple of days had none to give. Sure, it doesn’t look like it if you ever saw me, but I keep my facade up to a certain extent. There’s no need to trouble anyone else with my problems. 

My demeanor at that moment was due to something that has been missing in my life. Absent from my being. No, I said something, not someone. And I smiled and laughed in the early morning, like the hatter I am (on the inside). A nightmare. A most gruesome, horrendous and excruciating piece of gore, concocted from deep within, the mental, fucked up psyche that is my mind. What a delight, it was. That I could feel such torment even in the waking state of a dark morning. It was a glorious feeling. To be amongst the living and sensing all the ferocity of the night and day, dancing with one another. Hues of blue and violet, indigo and red and orange were a delight to me now. There’s nothing like a terrifying nightmare to jump start the day.

I’d like nothing more than to tell you kind folk of that feverishly insane dream I had and I will. Soon. As for now, know that life is good and all is well. But nightmares, for me at least help in the resolution of defeating the cursed depression that I often struggle.

Nightmares provide the pain of our fears, but it is fear that allows us the option to find courage and be courageous. To be afraid is the opportunity to become fearless. To myself, my fear of depression will never truly get to me. It will never be my demise for my nightmares, the pain and torment from which I suffer in the dreamscape provide me the strength to carry on beyond the limitations set forth before me.