#loveneverchanger

This is a really interesting question when I actually sit down and think about it, because out of all the things I thought about the ending, “How I felt about where Anthy and Utena end up” at least in relation to each other, wasn’t really a huge part of it! And maybe that’s silly of me, it certainly could be, but my thoughts were more, and have been more, on “what do I think this all means in relation to what the narrative is trying to say” 

BUt if I do think about it, I think I’m happier with it than not. I LOVE that we don’t know if Anthy ever finds her! I would have found it far less satisfying, I think, if Utena’s sacrifice would have somehow “broken the spell” and allowed them to leave together, and allowed for a truly shiny shiny 1200% happy ending, instead of the ending we got that is bittersweet, that is complicated, that focuses more on Anthy’s leaving than it really does whatever ends up happening to Utena. 

Do human beings named Doc, who are me, think that they ever find each other? 

I like it better if they don’t. Who knows if Utena is even alive in the world, somewhere, or if in the way that Anthy had to “die” for the prince, Utena had to “die” for her, or maybe even very literally die. Maybe all that great nobility can ever be is but for a moment, because to be truly noble is to sacrifice, and there is no way to constantly do that and not grow full of resentment, to twist yourself. But I like the idea that Anthy goes through her life very Rose Dewitt-Bukater, thinking always of Utena and what she learned from her, but never finding her. Holding that story in her heart, as impossible as it is, and always loving Utena, but also in a fashion moving on FROM her. 

Because I think it would be so easy to, being what brought them together, forge YET ANOTHER unhealthy relationship from that. Relationships formed over a fire of trauma aren’t usually the healthiest. I could see it becoming something ugly, and I don’t want that, I want it to be what it was for a moment in time, and I want it to have significantly changed Anthy, and made her a better and stronger person, I don’t want them to be codependent, I think, in my heart, they deserve better than that. 

I hadn’t, but easy enough to link! I used the Shanghai Soup Dumplings recipe from Epicurious (link here).

It was for Doc and family, so had to be kosher. To that end, I used fish gelatin (which I ordered from Modernist Pantry), subbed the ham in the soup for pastrami, and used ground chicken instead of ground pork in the filling.

I also forgot to pick up black vinegar from the local asian market when I got the Shaoxing wine and dumpling wrappers, but followed a substitution recipe online. I’m not sure if the sauce came out tasting like it would have with black vinegar, but it DID come out great! I can’t seem to find the black vinegar sub reference I used right now so I can’t link it, but luckily it was easy to remember:

one part balsamic vinegar

one part rice vinegar

three parts water

Other general tips, based on my experience:

1. Don’t mix the gelatinous soup cubes with the filling. I had WAY more of them than I think I actually needed, and suspect it as a reason they kept falling apart. If I did this again, I’d keep the cubes separate and manually add two or three to each dumpling as I wrapped them (or cut them bigger and just use one). 

2. Make the filling and sauce ahead of time! Seriously, I credit this for why the flavours were so good. Let that shit marinate overnight, it’ll make all the difference.

SilMil

do you have a tag for your recipes?

what would your ideal flower crown look like?

I’m obsessed with ivy and forget-me-nots, so I suppose it would have a base of ivy with plenty of little flowers interspersed throughout.  I’d want it to be full, but not massive.

how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

So this one time it rained really hard all day (though it wasn’t as cold as it looked) and I thought the appropriate response–nay, the only response–was to eat a bunch of mashed potatoes.  This is not actually answering the question that was asked, though.  I suppose it depends on the time of year–if that’s appropriate weather or unseasonal, and how long it’s been going on for.  I do often get tired easily on grey days, and don’t feel a lot of motivation to do much

pink or yellow lemonade?

Thanks!