"My heart sags as I collect countless unfortunate stories of loss and the way women believe they caused it. Maybe in blaming themselves for the unthinkable reproductive tragedies they feel a shred of control, hoping this might yield a very different outcome next time? Passionately perfecting pregnancy is not within our wheelhouse. We are not in charge of chromosomes. Culture tells us that we can have what we want when we want it if we just try hard enough to attain it. Perhaps we so desperately believe we can achieve anything we put our minds to that women feel an unruly amount of competitiveness despite logically knowing there is not much we can control here. Maybe it leaves us too vulnerable to think that we can become a reproductive statistic just by being who we are? I'd like to invite women to believe, if only for a moment, that what they have journeyed through is not a fault of their own but instead a very real possibility for anyone brave enough to get messy in the making of babies." - from the anonymous writer of the article