An open-letter to the guy I keep hurting...
Hey. I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble lately. I'm sorry for hurting you and giving you so much pain. Alam mo naman diba? Nasanay ako masyadong nanjan ka, sinanay mo kong lagi kang anjan sa tabi ko kaya nung nawala ka... daig ko pa si Sisa na hinahanap si Crispin at Basilio. Alam mo yung sobrang hirap? Your absence made my life a living hell, with every day I wake up and every night I cried. Sinabi ko naman sayo dati diba? You were my escape. You were my only escape from all the bullshit that's been happening to me. Kaya nung nawala ka, nawala din ako. Half of my life depended on you, how do you think would I react? I hurt you for a gazillion times kaya nga ko nag-decide na bumitaw. Kahit na sobrang hirap at gusto kong lumaban, di ko naman kayang masaktan ka na lang. Kaya nga I'm taking all the blame. Sige lang! Hate me, talk about me as if I am the worst person alive. Kamuhian mo ko hanggang sa kaya mo, tapos pag tapos ka na. Sabihan mo ko. That would be the time that I would talk to you again. Of how I fell for you on the very first day you said I was your crush. I will tell you all the things that I could do kung naging tayo man. I would talk about my sacrifice for you so you would appreciate it pero wala ka ng pwedeng maisagot kundi "SORRY. I'VE MOVED ON AND I'M OVER YOU." Again I'm sorry. Promise! Never na kitang guguluhin. Di na kita isasama sa GM ko. Di na ko mag-eexpect na tutulungan mo kami sa thesis namin kahit na winiwish ko palagi na sana sumama ka sa overnight ng barkada para kahit man lang sa malayo makita kita. Never na kong mag-eexpect na i'tex mo ko kasi baka mag-beastmode ka't di na kita makita hanggang sa next life. Tsaka na kita haharapin, when you're healed and not hurt. When you've moved on and let go of all the anger and pain. And when you could finally look into my eyes and tell me that it's all over. Hihintayin ko yun. Even if it takes a lifetime o dumating man ang panahon na ellipsis na ang kasunod na number ng 20**
