Learning 5-6 skills

Try 100 things

only then you'll know what you love and what's your passion

It's not a one time luck kind of thing

MY THREE Cs OF MEN CAN HELP YOU BE WHAT EVERY MAN MOST DESIRES IN LIFE AND LOVE: A WORTHY OPPONENT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I believe women are love in the world and deserve all the love they desire. I feel blessed that you're here and watching my videos that will help you achieve all that you desire and deserve!

Love, Light, and Looking Ahead -                                                                  Coach Paula

YOUTUBE  PODCAST  PROGRAMS  

INSTAGRAM  WEBSITE  FACEBOOK  LINKEDIN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The content of this page is provided for informational purposes only. Viewing this page and its content is not intended to and shall not create any provider-client relationship between you and Coach Paula Grooms or Paula Grooms, LLC. Messages or other forms of communication that you transmit to this page will not create any provider-client relationship and thus information contained in such communications may not be protected as privileged. Neither Coach Paula Grooms nor Paula Grooms, LLC makes any representation, warranty, or guarantee about the accuracy of the information contained in this page or in links to other channels, websites, or platforms of any kind. This page and its contents is provided "as is," and does not represent any outcome or result from viewing. Viewing of this page/content is at your own risk. You enjoy this page and its contents only for personal, non-commercial purposes. Neither Coach Paula Grooms nor anyone acting on her behalf will be liable under any circumstances for damages of any kind.

Sometimes you need a bit of science to spark the magic in your relationship. And here at The Good Love Project, we're not just sex geeks, we're love geeks! I recently put together a little experiment based on some observations of Esther Perel (relationship therapist and the author of Mating in Captivity). Ms. Perel posits that while closeness feeds Intimacy, distance feeds Desire. We rarely crave what we already have, even if we are grateful for it. I had noticed myself missing that spark of longing for my partner, that delicious ache we know so well when in the throes of NRE (New Relationship Energy). This hunger for novelty is often what makes new connections so hot and can make established relationships feel unstable. 

 As a Polyamorous person I love my new connections, but I want to keep that heat going in all my relationships, including my long term ones. I began to wonder, how can inject that feeling of distance, the excitement of newness into my co-parented, nesting, 7 going on 8 year relationship? What I found out was both eye and heart opening!

Let's get our geek on, Good Lovers! 

The Balance between Distance and Intimacy

The Experiment: Part 1 - Re-framing Loving Touch My husband’s love language is touch. Mine used to be, but over years (especially after having a baby) I’d gotten a bit touch fatigued. I realized that I’d become numb touch loving touch. All his casual gestures of hugs and caresses had become background stimuli that neither of us were truly conscious of any more. It was routine and without thought, like snacking. Add to this, my beautiful and sweet 2 year old daughter in my lap and in my arms regularly. Snuggles and hugs and “kisses better” all day. Affection snacking. 

 Question: What if we were killing our erotic appetite by affectionately snacking all day? 

 Hypothesis: With the idea of “absence makes the heart grow fonder” I suggested an experiment to my husband. For one week, we would limit our affectionate exchanges to specific parameters. My goal was that this would make miss his touch as well as make touching more intentional, more meaningful.

The Rules of Procedure:

Only one hug and kiss a day.

No pet names. We so often end sentences with “babe”. We must consciously use each other’s real names. (i.e. “I love you, Nathan” rather than “love ya, babe”)

At times we would otherwise hug (greetings and goodbyes, etc) we will eye gaze for 10-20 seconds.

No limits on sexual activity, allow any erotic energy that comes up to flow naturally.

Observations: Half way through the first day I found myself daydreaming abut my partner. I wondered when our kiss would happen that day. When he came home from work I ran to greet him at the door and I was dying to kiss him but I stopped myself and held his gaze. We both got quite fluttery. When we finally kissed the first night I was almost ready to call off the whole experiment because I didn't want to miss out on anymore kisses! 

 Over the next few days we really learned about our own patterns. Using each others full first names was a big challenge for both of us. It was healing for me because I got used to the idea of being “honey, sweetheart or Kitty” and only being called “Katrina” when something was wrong. It felt so good to hear my name spoken with love! 

 The long, meaningful looks and delayed gratification definitely sparked an erotic fire between us. I was amazed by the intense feelings of longing I experienced! At one point over the weekend, Nathan came to me and said “Katrina, give me your eyes”, and my knees nearly buckled when I looked at him! 

 We’re still playing with these energies and having fun writing follow up experiments. I feel that over all this first exploration in creating mindful connection and intentional longing definitely worked! Feel like giving it a try? Let me know how it goes for you! 

 Happy Valentine’s Day!