#lovechai

Having met as cheerful and wide-eyed children, to being a part of one another’s highs and lows until high school days, to suddenly having to face the bittersweet truth that the two of them have already grown apart.

Is it even of any use to explain such things through planets and stars? Up to this day, Satsuki can’t find any words to reason through it.

After all, the truth was a big wave hovering over them ever since, waiting for the exact moment to crash down and drown them with the earth-shattering reality that perhaps everything is too late.

And yet she still can’t help herself from looking for his deep blue eyes whenever she comes across a friend from middle school and high school. Her head unconsciously whips towards the way where there are sounds of a basketball dribbling and shoes thudding across the pavement. Everything seems to remind her.

As if she can ever forget. Satsuki remembers his mother telling her that God will always listen to her calls and pain when she had been crying about a guy in their family living room. She remembers how he frowned visibly at his mother’s sudden intrusion and how his reaction got her to laugh for the first time that day. 

She remembers everything. And yet God had seemingly forgotten what to do when she was praying for him at death’s door.

It is one thing losing someone so dear to you and another when it all happens amidst the rough.

Questions are left unanswered. Bleeding wounds are gouged out. There is no one to argue with anymore. No one to give the silent treatment to. No one to resolve things with.

And so they say that time heals all. Years have already passed since she lost him. It might have gotten easier as the pain has become a numb, hollow sensation. Some wounds have become scars, while some open out of nowhere, leaving her to change the bloodied bandages on her own.

But being reminded by the stars is not her reopening another. She believes she will get there someday; Satsuki believes that somewhere in the stars out there, their paths will cross again, and that thought is enough.