*SPOILERZ: Saw Harry Lighton’s awesome romance/character study Pillion earlier and wanna take a moment to sing its praises.
Sure, when Ray (Skarsgard) abandons Colin (Melling) towards the end, it is somewhat sad…BUT, this is so true to their characters. Colin was beginning to feel stunted within the strict confines of his BDSM relationship with Ray. He could no longer settle for that particular level of affection anymore. So when he acts out, Ray finally gives in a little. But Ray can’t live within the confines of a conventional romance…and just maybe he’s afraid of being even a little vulnerable in the grip of love.
But Ray isn’t the main character, Colin is. And if anything, this is a great movie about GROWTH. It’s a beautiful reminder that it’s our blessed duty to explore our own creaturehoods. To truly know thyself is the point of life. What are our limitations and boundaries, and why do we set them as we do?
Sometimes people come into our lives to become catalysts for changes within us. It can be a bittersweet alchemy with both great fulfillment and loss. But wonderfully Colin is already moving on too.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Nothing outside of yourself, no rejection, no illusion, no guilt placed upon you, no belief that you have somehow failed at life can change the fact that you are the manifestation of Source and therefore nothing you do, no matter how much self hatred you feel can change the fact that you exist for a reason.
Creation does not make mistakes; you exist to be love and be loved, you exist to experience and express yourself just as you are. So often we hear you must love yourself to be loved, but you are already loved by Source. You are always living from your highest state of realized consciousness and that means you are doing the best you can with what knowledge and realization you've been given. Our oneness is translated and manifested through our state of consciousness. In other words, your desire to experience oneness (acceptance and love) is being translated and manifesting through an un-evolved third dimensional state of consciousness.
For example, a person being initiated in a gang fighting, and murdering innocents believes they are being brave and they will be accepted and honored in their gang and then they will receive love, validation and acceptance.
The love they were searching for was already within them but their limited beliefs and lower third dimensional state of consciousness wouldn't allow them to realize this truth. So how do we come to these higher states of consciousness so we can truly love ourselves? We stop beating ourselves up. We let go of what transpired that made us hate ourselves. We do better and we do things that elevate our spirit so we can gain confidence in ourselves and our abilities. We stop believing in the illusions and smell the flowers. We stop pushing ourselves to be appropriate, acceptable and lovable. We give ourselves permission to "fail". We confront our soul and the false beliefs about ourselves that are causing us to feel powerless. We realize everyday that any circumstance, we chose to enter the third dimensional experiences to learn a lesson, because we are in Earth School and it would serve us better to come to the realization that, each experience is there for a reason no matter how unfortunate it may appear.
Circumstances don't matter, it's only what you chose to do with them to not let it determine what you are vibrating at forever; only your state of being matters. Anything that is telling you to become divided is an un-evolved third dimensional state of consciousness, it's best to ignore that advice and remember that each and every being you encounter is Source/God. We are all One. We all desire love. But some of us get lost in translation along the way and believe love is outside of ourselves, and we even believe Source/God is far away from us somewhere out there. God never left you, God has always been within you, right with you the entire time. Silently waiting for you to come back home. Your identity is blessed regardless of how you feel; you are needed, you are deserving of love, and you are enough as you are now.
When we come into higher states of awareness it becomes clear that self love is of the utmost importance in order to expand and truly evolve. We hear the phrases, " just love yourself, focus on self love, self care, you have to learn to love yourself to be loved." Ect. But no one ever tells you how to truly love yourself because it takes a lot of healing first. It's important to remember you cannot truly love yourself until you've done inner healing work daily and mostly it's trial and error, getting back up again after difficult days of feeling not good enough, beating ourselves up, feeling unappreciated, unloved, and searching for validation outside ourselves only to discover that doesn't work and it's not real self love to only focus on the outside.
We must choose to go inwards. We must tune into our hearts, and connect with our soul to see what it is we truly need to do and heal in order to love ourselves. When we love on ourselves we instantly raise our vibration. Anything we dislike about ourselves are just concepts based from third dimensional beliefs from human programming of what is "good" and "bad" with no real substance other than your belief in them. Change the belief, change your reality. What does practicing self love really entail? When we truly want to love ourselves without faking it, we practice boosting our self confidence. We spend quality time with ourselves. We invest in our self care rituals. We reprogram our limiting, false negative beliefs about ourselves daily. We dig deeper in all ways to truly eliminate all false illusions about ourselves.
We say and write down positive self love affirmations daily, and we immediately throw away any negative thoughts about ourselves that are lies. These become our new programming, new beliefs and thoughts. We become self disciplined and regularly challenge our old self and give ourselves a stress free life by making things easier on our future self. We start saying no to everything not in alignment with our higher selves. We stop beating ourselves up, and start honoring and nurturing our sacred vessels. We cut out smoking, drinking, drugs, eating disorders, giving away our bodies, and we start drinking more water, eating healthy, healing our bodies, and we cut out anyone negative in our lives with firm boundaries. We no longer tolerate or accept their ignorance and abuse in our lives and we take back our power and our energy. We burn bridges because we know we can swim. We stop letting others with lower states of consciousness take advantage of us just because they don't know how to love themselves. No one can truly love you unless they love themselves. When you have a consciousness of self-loathing, self hatred you draw to yourself the experiences supporting more of that energy.
At a certain point of our evolution it becomes easier to love ourselves because of our higher states of consciousness. When we love ourselves, most people no longer become attractive to us unless we can see they are good for us. We can truly become even more isolated because fewer and fewer people have done the inner work that we have done on ourselves. You only allow people into your life if they deserve you. You stop needing other people to make you feel less lonely, and they become a bonus in your life, not a necessity. The qualities we dislike about ourselves are really our inner child desperately seeking support, love, and approval from us. Whenever you find yourself judging yourself harshly just become conscious and aware, and say, "Oh you again. No we're not doing that anymore. I'm in charge now and I say we're enough as I am now and I love every part of myself completely." You will always be a spiritual being regardless if you choose a reality of heaven or hell, your human flaws and errors are not who you truly are underneath. You will not be punished just because you have a bad habit. Consciousness is always moving forward, you are always evolving no matter how slowly; evolution never stops.
When we keep evolving we keep discovering our true form. Once you stop feeding the negative illusions about yourself they disappear because they have nothing to hold them in place. When we love ourselves we see our worth and we stop second guessing ourselves. Loving ourselves is moving out of old third dimensional beliefs and realizing that everything I need is embodied within me because Source/God is Self and I am already complete and perfect now. If I choose to share that with someone else, that is great, but I do not, never have, and never will need someone outside of myself in order to be whole.
Once you transform yourself in mind, body, and soul you truly make it easier to love every part of yourself because you are healed and you did it. No one else did it for you; you can no longer be broken or have those self loathing tendencies because you built yourself up and you are living from a higher state of consciousness. You become unbreakable, secure in yourself and love yourself completely. Nothing and no one can take it away from you.
