Iâm not explaining anymoređ nor linking my ao3
Xianhua sat dutifully on a cushion that was provided for her as her fingers pluck at the strings of the guqin that was on her lap. Her hair was half up and braided back into a bun, with flowers stuck into places to further accent the look and she wore a light red hanfu. Xianhua looked good, and she knew Qin Che was looking at her from where he was sitting, his gaze focused on only her out of the rest of the girls.
It was a party or sorts, rich folk were celebrating and making deals so Xianhua was hired as entertainment. Yet her popularity was known amongst those there and men had looser lips around her. Currently however, she was with a few military men that were of higher ranks so they currently were here rather than where Yizhou was.
âDid you hear about what happened to Commander Xia Yizhou?â One says and Xianhua looks away from Qin Che to focus on the two of them. Who were whispering loudly, because of their state of intoxication. The other tilts his head in confusion, so the one who spoke first continued.
âThe barbarians attacked his camp, almost everyone fell. It was bad. Apparently no one knows what happened to Xia Yizhou but heâs probably deadâ He snickers, and that rubs Xianhua the wrong way.
She just tilted her head, a little upset and her hands were shaking. Yizhou couldnât be dead. But if others died he would never be the last man standing because that was just his habit. He wouldnât let his men die before he would himself.
Xianhuaâs hand trembled as she missed a note on the guqin that was loud, it pulled sharper than she had intended and the noise unsettled the rest of the performers who just grumbled at her. But before any of the men listening said anything, as the two she was eavesdropping on had noted her mistake, Qin Che stood up from his seat and walked over to Xianhua.
âSorry did I startle you?â He places a hand on her shoulder and it drags the attention from her to him. Which was what he wanted. âI didnât mean to make that gesture at you, I was just pissed about the two men here speaking quite loudly!â Qin Che motions to them, which causes them to snarl at him but he just tuts and looks back at Xianhua. He helps her up and tosses gold at their supervisor before taking her out of the room with him. Qin Che doesnât say much but Xianhua offers a nod of thanks which he shakes off. They stepped into the corridor, the murmur of the party muffled behind them. The paper lanterns cast golden light over his shoulder, but Xianhuaâs gaze was far awayâsomewhere else, and the weight of the bracelet on her wrist feels even heavier at that moment. She needed time to herself to feel what she wanted to feel or sheâd break down.
âYou should be more careful,â Qin Che said gently. âEven talent can be replaced in the eyes of men like them, you step too much out of line youâll lose your valueâ His quip irked her so she stopped and raised her eyebrows at him.
âThought you didnât careâ Xianhua interjects.
âI donât care, yet itâll make the fight for you more entertaining if you keep your value upâ
Xianhua huffs as they continue to walk, turning to look away from him again before she asks in a low voice. âDid you hear much?â
Which Qin Che shakes his head to in response, before hesitating. âOnly what they said. That the camp was overrun. That no one knows where Commander Xia isâ.
And it was the first bit of care that Xianhua swears he has taken for her as he looks at her gentle and concerned, and maybe then the piercing red eyes didnât bother her as much before as her gaze is captivated on them before turning away again. But there was a beat of silence. Then Qin Che, ever tactful, softened his voice.
âI know you cared for him,â he said. âBut donât let grief make you forget yourself. You deserve better than to fall apart for a man who may never return.â
That statement makes her bristle. But it also shows his hand, that he wants her. He thinks she could be more if she let go of Yizhou. The internal conflict leaving her at a precipice that she didnât quite know what to say in response to it. Xianhuaâs fingers twitched at her side, remembering how she felt after reading the note as her gaze turned to the floor.
âIâm not falling apartâ she finally responded, her voice quieter than before. A slight quiver to it, but not too much or it would betray how she was feeling and sheâd rather keep from that. âIâm just⌠I didnât expect to hear any news like that, in a party environment. It was unsettlingâ
âThey speak carelessly. About war. About men who bled for them because they donât have toâ Qin Che sighs as he crosses his arms. âI hate them quite dearly as itâs the only thing they talk about whenever I try and make business deals, if only they knew what it was like to be in the fields out around here.â
She turned to look at him fully this time, as if seeing him properly for the first time. There was something almost human behind the ambition in his faceâalmost.
âAnd you donât?â Xianhua asks him as they walk into a garden space. Thereâs a few flowers that decorated the area yet it was nothing too big. But it was one of the more well known areas yet with most at the party folk stayed away.
âI speak what they want to hearâ Qin Che responds, smugly.
That made Xianhua scoff, âYouâre enjoying this?â
âIâm enjoying speaking with you.â The way he said it was deliberate. Not too sweet, not too forwardâjust enough to test the air between the two of them. Xianhua didnât respond, just standing in comforting silence with him as she focused on a fish swimming through a small pond. Qin Che didnât press on either and instead spoke again.
âI gave them enough money for you so you should go home. Rest. Iâll send word if I hear anything about the Commanderâ
Xianhuaâs head sharply turned to him. âWhy would you do that?â
Qin Che got his smug grin back on again to continue. âBecause if heâs dead youâll need someone to lean on and if heâs alive I donât mind the challengeâ
And they do talk a little more, yet when Xianhua excuses herself to leave to start her trek home, and when she does get there she just quickly goes to her room and lays down on her bedding. Fiddling with the bracelet as she leans on her side and stares at it while her other handâs thumb gently rubs over the beads. A tired, silent, prayer leaving her lips that he was one of the few who were unaccounted for.