#louisoneshot

He sits by my bedside and I stroke his cheek.

“Lou,” I smile, “Do you remember how we met?”

“Of course,” he smiles back, “Backstage... you were so nervous,” he chuckles.

“Wasn't I a dish?” I laugh at the old memory.

“You still are,” he drops me a wink. I smile at him adoringly,

“I love that after all these years...” I pause choosing my words wisely, “You still make me feel like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world.”

“Because,” he wrapped his hands around one of mine, “You,” he brought my hand to his lips and gave it a gentle kiss, “Are.” I couldn't help but beam at him, “You deserve nothing less.” I pinch his cheek.

“You are so good to me.” We sat there for a bit and stared at each other. “How are the kids?” I asked him.

“Fine,” he nodded, “Great.”

“Good,” I sighed, “I wouldn't want them too worried about their ol' mum.”

“Well you know how they are,” he chuckled, “They're always worried.” I paused for a long moment before saying,

“I remember when I found out I was first pregnant... we were trying for so long,” I smiled brightly at the thought.

“Yeah,” he smirked, “But you can't deny the trying was quite fun.” I laughed and slapped his shoulder playfully.

“You're right,” I sighed, “The trying was definitely fun.”

“Our first date is one of my personal favorites,” he chuckled.

“And why is that?” I cocked my head to the side.

“Well... it seems like just yesterday for one,” he looked up to the ceiling as he thought, “You knocked your drink all over my trousers and it looked like I took a wee,” I started to laugh, “The sorry look in your eyes was priceless. I'll never forget it,” he chuckled and mimicked the face I made. I laughed and clutched my stomach. It soon turned to coughing.

“Mrs. Tomlinson,” a nurse walked in, “Time for another breathing treatment.” I sighed,

“Alright.” the young woman hooked me up to the machine and I couldn't help but compare myself to her. My frail figure used to once resemble something like hers. My complexion much more dated now after so many years have passed.

“It's almost time for your nap,” she told me.

“Give me some more time please?” I asked her. She glanced between us two and nodded.

“Thank you,” Louis smiled at her as she walked of. “Well... then I walked you home,” he continued.

“In your wet trousers,” I laughed and he laughed a bit with me before picking up again,

“You thanked me at your door... and we had our first kiss.” when he said this both of our faces lit up.

“You were such the gentleman despite your wet trousers,” I giggled, “And there was definitely many more to come.”

“Including this one,” he smiled and gave my lips a little peck.

“Mrs. Tomlinson I'm sorry,” the nurse came back, “I was told that your nap could not be postponed and Mr. Tomlinson has to leave.” Louis and I sighed then looked at each other.

“Alrighty,” Louis said a little disappointed and put his hands on his knees to support himself as he got up.

“After all these years you still have a fit bum,” I laugh lightly. He smacks his bum and the nurse laughs.

“And you're still the most sexy woman I've ever laid my eyes on,” he smiles and plant a kiss on my cheek. The nurse leaves the room, “I love you,” he smiles.

“I love you too,” I smile at him as he walks away. He then smirks at me, “Lou?” I giggle. He then opens the closet door and hides in it. I erupt into laughter and begin to cough. The nurse walks back in the hospital room.

“Sorry Jordi,” she sighs, “You know I would have let him stay but-”

“It's alright love,” I smile at her. She nods and turns off my breathing treatment. I turn to my side and she tucks me in. “Have a nice nap,” she smiles before turning out the lights and walking out the door. The I hear a door creep open and close. I see Louis creeping out of the closet and locking the entrance door.

“What are you doing?” I whisper.

“Shhh,” he shushes and chuckles, “Can't I spend some time with my wife? Is that such a crime?”

“Well when you put it that way...” I smile as he walks over to my bedside. He puts the sidebar down on the bed and I scoot over. He climbs into bed with me and puts the bar back up. I bring him under the blanket and snuggle with him. “You're crazy... what if we get caught?” He shrugs.

“Crazy is my middle name,” Lou wiggles his eyebrows at me and I laugh. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my nose. My breathing slows as drowsiness takes over me. “Another one of my favorite memories... is when we got married.”

“Me too,” I closed my eyes.

“I've never known what real love felt like until I met you Jordi... and I could only picture being with you for the rest of my life. I always kept that promise and commitment I made to you that day.”

“Yes you did,” I mumbled, “I couldn't explain the way I feel for you any better than you just did. love.” I yawned, “Except you left something out.”

“And what is that?” he asked before yawning as well.

“That you cried during our wedding,” I giggled.

“You're still teasing me about that,” he chuckled.

“It's adorable... and hilarious at the same time,” I laughed a little too loud.

“Well I'm glad you find humor in my tears,” he teased.

“You make me sound bitter,” I defended.

“Never said that,” he said cheekily.

“You are implying something of the sort,” I laugh lightly.

“You my love,” he kissed my forehead, “Are the farthest from bitter.”

“Thank you,” I said cockily and he chuckled. I yawned again feeling a darkness come over me.

“Go to sleep love,” he said and smoothed my grey hair. “I'll be here when you wake up.”

“I don't want to,” I mumbled, “I want to stay with you.”

“I'll never be gone,” he said lowly, “I'll always be with you.”

“Promise?” I asked him.

“I Promise.”

“I love you Louis,” I mumbled as I succumbed to sleeping.

    I know you told me to be happy and smile because we don’t have to hide, but I couldn’t care less about you wanting me to feel happy. Harry, I don’t want to feel happy. There’s nothing for me to feel happy about anymore. You make me happy. Without you I’m nothing but empty. I haven’t smiled or laughed in a week. I’ve barely done anything at all. I just sport a blank expression with bags under my eyes from loss of sleep, and a slight frown all the time. My phone isn’t even on anymore; I’m sure all the boys have tried to contact me and they’ve all knocked on our the front door to get me to open. I haven’t spoken, either. The only noises I can hear are the sounds of my sobs and shaky breathing.

     I’m a mess without you. I’m undoubtedly so. I need you, Haz, I really do. I don’t care that you think I’m better off without you because I’m not. I’m not fucking okay without you. Thoughts about you race through my cluttered mind all day every day. You’re all I ever think about. You’re what I live for. I wouldn’t be surprised if the boys think I’m dead or something of the sort; I might as well be. I have nobody to wake up to in the morning, nobody to smile at me and tell me they love me, nobody to love back, no warm body to cuddle into when I need somebody, no you. I don’t have you and when I’m without you, I’m nothing.

     You were right about the fact that I would be on the floor crying my eyes out. When I first opened up the letter, I expected nothing of the sort of what I read. The first few words were all it took to send tears to my eyes. I kind of crumbled on the floor, my top half not being supported enough by my weak legs. I nearly ruined the ink because my tears were staining the paper. I couldn’t help but cry, it was all I knew how to do. I felt like I had just been shot in the gut, like everything was pried right from my fingertips. I had you one moment and the next I didn’t. I felt like a child sobbing on the floor the way I did, but that was the only path that felt safe. I think I fell asleep on the floor, in the very spot I threw myself on the ground, clutching the letter as if it were you. In some ways, it is you.

     I did some horrible things that night. I remember waking up on the floor feeling disgusted in myself around two in the morning. I drank a lot that night. Not enough to make me forget why I was doing it in the first place, but enough to numb something. I tried to numb everything and make all the pain coursing through my body go away. It didn’t work. I drank four beers then. My body begged for more, to be fully numb and free of the everlasting pain, but I didn’t drink any more. I knew you wouldn’t have liked that. I broke a picture frame, too. It was the one in the living room on the table. The one of us in Paris. You were holding my hand. We looked like idiotic lovers on our first trip together. I smashed it on the ground. It was the only picture of us that showed a public affection. It made me think that we could never have that. I cut myself on a piece of glass, too. I went to pick it up and it sliced my palm a bit. It didn’t hurt so I just kind of stared at it. I watch the blood trickle through the cut and onto the surface of my skin. Don’t worry, though, I bandaged it after a while. I also cleaned up all the glass shards. I put the picture somewhere, but I don’t remember where. That’s okay, though, I don’t want to remember where I put it. I don’t want to see it.

     The day after, whatever time it was that I woke up, I found myself in our bed. I was on your side. I don’t remember how I got there, but  I remember the letter being held close to me. I didn’t get out of bed that day, I just stayed there and thought. I thought about how you said I’ve changed. I can’t believe it took you leaving me for me to actually notice it. I have changed. I’m not who I used to be and I hate myself for it. I let them take over me and all the freedom I had. I let them convince me that they could help, but all they did was create a big mess. I don’t blame them, though. I blame myself. It’s all my fault. I’m not the kid I used to be when we first met. Somebody else has taken over him and trapped him in a cage. That kid is still in me, though, I can sense it. I’m going to bring him back one way or another. I’m changing myself, Harry. I’m going to change. I’m doing it for you. When I find that boy and I bring him back for good, I’m going to call you, just like you said to. I don’t know when he’ll be back but I promise with all the heart that he will be back. I promise.

     I bet you’ve been wondering how this letter even got to you. I called Liam, actually. I debated whether I should have actually sent it for a few hours. I knew Liam wouldn’t want to hear me ask questions about you. He was clearly more interested in how I’ve been seeing that I’ve been completely disconnected from the world for a good amount of time. He picked up after the second dial tone. He sounded happy to hear my voice, despite how awful it sounded after the silence I encased myself in. He told me he was beginning to think I had done the unspeakable. I didn’t, though. I told him I was desperate to know where you were. I begged him to tell me where you had gone. He told me you didn’t want me to know because then I would try and chase after you. You’d be right if he told me where you were, I would go find you.  Liam said he would pick it up and take it to you. I begged him to let me go with him so I could see you but he said no. I just want to see you.

     I want to know how you’re doing. If I’m in this bad of a state, I’m dying to see if you’re alright or if you’re worse. Please, don’t be worse. I won’t tell you to smile because we don’t have to hide, like you told me, though. I don’t think I want you to smile. I don’t want anything else to make you happy the way you told me I do. I don’t want myself to smile at anything because I only want you to make me happy. You can do whatever you want, though because I have no say anymore. You don’t have to deal with me and my shit anymore.  

     I don’t know what I’m trying to say anymore. I just wish that I’d always be the reason for your smile. The smile where your dimples show clearly, your eyes crinkle at the outside and your mouth is so wide it looks like somebody is pulling strings at the ends. I want to be the reason you laugh so hard you head tilts back and your mouth is open so wide that you have to cover it with your hands. I want to be the reason you’re happy because you make me happy so I should do the same to you. It’s difficult to say that now because you’re the reason I’m so broken, but it’s only the truth. I can’t lie to you, Harry, you know that.

     I still love you. I’ve always loved you. I love every detail about you. I hate when you put yourself down because there is nothing wrong with you in the slightest. I want you to see that. I love you because you’re you and that’s the only person I want to be with. You’re all I want and all that I need. I’m getting off topic, sorry. I just want you back with me. That’s all I want.

     ”Forever and always, yeah?” Yeah.

     I love you, Harry Edward Styles, so fucking much it hurts.

     I guess by now you’ve noticed I’m not there - in our home. By the time you’re reading this I’ll probably have been gone for a few hours. I’m not coming back, though. I can’t be with you, Lou. Not when you’re such a different person than who I thought you were. You’ve changed so much that I can barely see the lad I fell in love with anymore. Why would I stay with somebody I don’t even know?

     Yes, we’re over, incase you haven’t picked up on that yet. I can’t continue to be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t appreciate it. I love everything about our relationship - it was beautiful - but it’s worthless when only one side of it cares. I’m sure you would feel the same if we were in opposite positions. If I tried to explain to you exactly what it feels like to love somebody with all your heart and not have the feeling of them loving you back, you probably wouldn’t understand. You might say you do, Lou, but I know you don’t. You never would have had to have the feeling with me because there would never be a moment when I don’t love you. Even now, while I’m writing this to you, breaking both of our hearts more than they already are, I love you.

     That’s right, I love you. I love you to the moon and back. I love you more than I love myself, more than I love cats, more than I love what I do. I love all of you, Louis William Tomlinson. I love every flaw, every single thing you’re insecure about, and everything else. I love all the things that normal people might deem pointless and I love all the cheesy things, too. I love when you get frustrated when your fringe gets into your eyes and won’t stay in place, I love when you try and guilt me into something by using your puppy face, I love how you have to stand on your tiptoes to reach my lips when I don’t lean down towards you. Louis, I love your name, your eyes, your nose, your cheeks, your ears, your lips, your teeth, you’re hair your arms, your legs, your arse, your feet, your hands, your stomach, your chest, your shoulders; everything. I love you.

     I wish I could say this all to your face, really. I would but I can’t bring myself to do it. All these things I’m saying now, in this letter, would only come out as chocked sobs if I dared face you. I know you, Lou, and you would probably wrap your arms around my waist and cry into my chest begging for me not to leave and that you’ll change and you need me. You’ve pulled that one before - the changing part, anyway.

     Last time I saw the real you fade was months ago when you called our entire cause “bullshit”. I saw you fade even more today when you called everybody that supports our hidden cause “lost causes”. Reading that was like a punch in the gut. That’s only me, Lou. The fans are hurt, too. They’re sitting there devastated and they believe that that is what you truly think about them. I know it’s not what you think because I know you. I know its what “management” wants you to say because they don’t like us being with each other. I know they “forced you to do it” and that “you couldn’t say no”. Guess what, though, you could say no. They don’t own you, Louis. You could say no and tell them that they could just leave it alone and cause no more drama than there was already. You had a choice and honestly, you chose the wrong option.

     Now I know you’re probably sitting or standing or on the floor somewhere at home, yeah? I know you’re most likely crying your pretty eyes out because of all of this. I don’t want to make you cry, love, I don’t. I want you to smile. We don’t have to hide anymore. You should feel relieved now. I shouldn’t say that to you, though. I’m sobbing writing this to you because it hurts so bad. It feels like somebody has shoved their hand down my throat and latched onto my heart and is trying to rip it out of me.

     To sum all this up, I’ve been hurting far too long to stay with you longer, Lou. I’m sorry. I told myself countless times that you’ll realize that you’re changing and that you’ll change. You never did. I waited and waited. No matter how badly I was hurting, I always found a way to continue to love you. Despite how badly I told myself to get over you and to stop loving you, I couldn’t. I fell way too much in love with you and everything about you to all of a sudden stop. I’m too infatuated with every little detail. I’ve fallen into the abyss that is you and I’ll never really escape it. You pulled me in, since we first met, I knew there was something about you that I needed to keep forever. I don’t remember what that thing was anymore, Louis. You’ve changed so much, and so much has happened between us that I don’t remember what exactly it was about you that made me want you for the longest time.

     I’m sorry it had to be this way, that I had to leave you. It was for your own good, as I said before. I just want you to be happy and I think that without me around, you’ll be better off. I know you very well, so I know that you’re thinking that you’ll never be able to live without me and that you’ll never get over it. That might be true, but Lou, admit it, you’ve changed. Can you look in the mirror and tell yourself that you’re the same person you were when we first met and first fell in love with each other? If you’re saying yes, then you’re lying to yourself. Don’t lie to yourself.

     I’ll tell you what - if you can find your old self in the new mind of yours, bring that boy back out and call me. Call me only if you’re certain you’ve found that boy and you’ve brought him back. I won’t pick up any calls of yours for a while, though; keep that in mind. It’ll take you a lot longer than fifteen minutes after finishing this letter to understand what happened to you. Over the course of two and a half years, you managed to become a completely different person. Discover the one you were right when we first met and tell him to come back out. I love that version of you the best, babe. I always have and I always will. When you find him, we can talk. No promises on anything, though.

     Remember that this is the best for you and I just want you to be happy and feel safe and free in this world. Remember that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anybody in my entire life. Remember all the good times we shared. Remember all the bad times we shared. Remember me. Remember us. “Forever and always, yeah?”. Yeah.

     I love you, Louis William Tomlinson, so fucking much.

She was his girlfriend of nearly three years. They’ve shared countless smiles, laughs, hugs, kisses, and “I love you”s. Louis and she were what seemed to be perfect together. She was always being told by plenty of people how lucky she was to have a guy that cared so much for her. Numerous people reminded her of how wonderful she and her boyfriend were together. Their relationship was as if it was meant to be. It might have seemed cliché to many, but to her and him it was the truth. They fell in love with each other quickly and smoothly. The two rarely had fights or disagreed with one another. You might even say they were the same person, yet they were different from each other in almost every way possible. Everything seemed bright and happy for their futures together. They said they would be together forever because neither could live without the other. At least they thought they would be.

It was only a few months ago when she found herself in the hospital diagnosed with breast cancer. She was told she wasn’t going to make it very long. She was always a strong person, and fought the cancer as hard as she could. Louis visited her every day for at least an hour, even if she was sleeping during the entire visit. He didn’t care what she looked like attached to the machines in that paper thin, green gown. He told her every day she was beautiful and how much he loved her and knew she would be alright. He was wrong. She wasn’t going to be alright. She had fought the cancer longer than the doctors said she would, but they still had their suspicions that no medicine or treatment could cure her completely.

Recently, she started getting paler and weaker. Louis worried more and more, making sure she didn’t lift a finger when he was around and visiting more often that he would before. He knew this wasn’t going to have a happy ending, and he could accept that. He cried more often now, constantly thinking about how awful his life would be without her in it. Even when he was thinking of the good things, he ended up crying. It was all too often he was crying himself to sleep in his own bed or in the hard chair next to hers in the hospital. She knew her time was coming, and she couldn’t do anything about it. Louis was with her almost every second he possibly could be, holding her hand and telling her he loved her like it was the only thing he knew how to say. She didn’t want him to be sad, but she couldn’t deny that she was sad, too. She didn’t want to leave him, and he didn’t want her to leave him.

“I love you, Louis. Do you know that?”

He looked up at her, tears in his eyes as he replied, “More than you’ll ever know.”   

She leaned back and looked at the ceiling, “Maybe it’s not so bad up there, you know?”

His mouth dropped, “Don’t say that, baby. Please don’t.” 

“I’m sorry. It was just a thought.”

She sighed with an emotion nobody could describe. It wasn’t happiness, it was sadness, it wasn’t frustration; it was just a sigh. The two sat together in silence, absorbed in their own thoughts. As long as they were together, neither cared if there was a conversation happening. Louis was learning his elbows on his knees, as he wiped his tears away carefully. He had managed, somehow, to calm down from the realization she was leaving him someday soon. It wasn’t as if he didn’t understand her time was almost up, it was just that he didn’t want to believe it. It took up until this day for it to finally sink in. Before he arrived to visit her, he sat alone in his room crying himself nearly to sleep, feeling sorry for himself and for her. He just wanted her to stay with him. He wanted nothing more in this world.

Peering out the window, Louis noticed the sun was setting. Brilliant oranges and reds were shining through the pane of the window across the room. They were bright and happy, unlike him at that moment. He didn’t want to be unhappy, though. He wanted to be able to smile and show genuine happiness for once in the last few months. Every smile he’s put on his face for the camera or for his family and friends was fake. Louis hated having to fake a smile but he had no choice; he couldn’t sit around with a blank expression or tears running down his cheeks all the time. After looking at the sun for good minute or so, he shifted his gaze down towards the white floor which was now turning into a grey from the natural light fading ever so slowly. Louis suddenly got an idea.

You could say Louis was impulsive, but only a little bit. He knew where to draw the line in all the risky situations, and avoided trouble as much as he could. The light bulb that went off in his head not two moments ago was probably a stupid one. There was a buzzing inside of him telling him to go for it, and so he did. He pulled his body off of the chair it was once placed in, and positioned himself right next to his girlfriend’s hospital bed. He felt his lips twitch at the corners at the sight of her flashing a smile at him as best she could. Her smile was just as beautiful as it always was on her and rushed back thousands of thoughts to his mind. Louis made sure to push them away as fast as he could, telling his mind that he refused to start crying again.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“How about you and I,” he paused for a moment, “go- go watch the sun set. It’s quite wonderful out the window right now.”

Her smile fell a little while she pondered on the idea, “If you can get me out of this stupid bed, then I’d love to.” 

His heart dropped a little bit thinking about how she could barely get herself out of the bed now. He was always willing to help her though no matter what she needed. Louis leaned down and swung her right arm over his shoulder, placing his left arm carefully on the middle of her back. He used his other arm to pull her legs over the side of the bed and pull her off the bed and onto her feet. She kept her arm around his neck and held on to the collar of his shirt so she wouldn’t topple over and onto the floor. Louis kept his mind set on the sunset that would make her eyes light up the way they used to and bring a glowing smile unlike any other upon her face. They made their way over to the window, and he had pulled a chair over for her to sit in so she wouldn’t have to stand up.

Even though the sun was nearly gone when she finally set her eyes upon it, she still seemed just as happy as she would be if she witnessed the whole thing. Her eyes did light up the way they used to, and her smile returned. He knew one of her favorite things was watching the sun set and he tried his best to have a few sunset dates in the past. Little did he know, she didn’t care if they were in a dumpster, she would have had a good time because he was there with her. Louis found himself not paying attention to the sun which was now a fading pink and orange against the horizon. He was staring right at her, taking in everything unlike any time before. She was beautiful still, no matter how sick she looked, and always would be to him. He started staring at her smile, thinking about how much he loved it and wished he could look at it forever. It took him a few moments to realize that he was smiling, too. A real, genuine smile with teeth and everything, for the first time in months, appeared across his face. It could almost be considered a miracle with how fake his have been lately. In that moment, looking at her, being with her, with that smile on his face, everything seemed right.

“Beautiful,” she whispered.

“Yes, you are,” he whispered back with his eyes locked on her.

She met his gaze, blush finding its way onto her cheeks. She blushed each and every time he did that to her; complement, that is. Louis had always had a habit of slipping compliments in anywhere he could. It was like his goal in life was to make her cheeks flush as red as a tomato or something of the sort. Even when she begged him to stop calling her beautiful or kissing her every three seconds wherever he could get his lips, he just did it more. Even over these few years, his public displays of affection haven’t died down in the least. Noticing her face was hot, she slowly looked back out the window, avoiding the eye contact he so desperately never wanted to break. 

She’s been avoiding eye contact lately with him. She loved the compliments he showered her with, and always has since the beginning of their relationship, though. That was something she couldn’t deny. She just didn’t want to look into his eyes sometimes. She didn’t want him to see how weak and fragile she looked. In all honesty, she hated how her glowing self had died down to this weak little girl who could barely walk for herself. She didn’t like the feeling of Louis looking at her and seeing how unlike herself she looked. She wanted to be her old self: strong, bright, happy and healthy, but she never would be. Little did she know, Louis thought she was just as beautiful as she was when he first met her. Her illness didn’t change how he saw her as a person; he loved her and thought of her the same way. He thought she was the strongest person in the world after all she’d been through. But she didn’t know that.

“Look at me, love,” Louis said calmly.

When she didn’t move, he took it upon himself to place his finger gently under her chin and adjust her head so she was facing him. The first thing he noticed on her face was the rim of water built up in her eyes. The last thing he wanted her to do right then was cry. He bent down so he was on his knees, eye level with her in the hospital chair. Carefully, he removed his finger and replaced it with both his hands on the either side of her face. His blue eyes pierced through her brown ones desperate to keep the contact. She felt helpless under his hands, and didn’t dare move her eyes from his, even if she was about to cry.

“You don’t understand do you?” he finally said.

“What?” she questioned weakly.

“How beautiful you are. You don’t understand do you?” 

“I get it. You always tell me.”

“No. You really don’t. Words can’t describe how beautiful you are to me. I don’t see you as the girl with this nasty illness. I still see you as the same girl you were when we first met. You’re just as beautiful, even stronger, smart, wonderful, and fun. Don’t let this sickness change how you see yourself or how you think I see you. I still love you, baby. I always will. Our love is forever and always no matter what happens. I just thought you should know that. Remember, you’re beautiful, and I love you more than anything I’ve ever loved in my entire life.”

It only took three sentences for her eyes to let the tears break from her eyes and run down her face and into his hands. He didn’t stop talking, though, he kept going. All he wanted to do was let her know that she was amazing and he loved her. Softly, he rubbed his thumbs across her cheeks, brushing the tears away. They stayed like that; her in disbelief letting silent tears lose and he rubbing his thumbs in slow circles, comforting her. Their eyes were locked the whole time, only breaking when they needed to blink.

She was speechless. What was there to say to that? She thought her tears were enough to make him understand just what she thought. In all honesty, if she tried to speak, they would have come out as slurred blobs of letters and she would have broke down completely right then and there. Every breath she tried to take was shaky and hard. Sure he had said things like that all the time but it all felt different. There was something in his voice and the way he looked at her when speaking that made it all feel, for lack of a better word, different. Maybe it was the fact that each time he said “I love you”, it could very well be the last. Maybe it was just that what he said pushed her emotions over the edge and resulted in a cry. Maybe it was just that she loved him too and she couldn’t stand thinking about leaving him. She did love him a lot and was telling him that all the time and she didn’t want to leave him. She would do anything to stay but she knew she couldn’t no matter what.

All too soon, Louis’ phone rang, singing his favorite song which was one she couldn’t identify. It made both of them jump and he fell backwards, landing on his back. Groaning, he pulled himself from the sanitary floor and walked over to a small table next to the hospital bed. He picked his phone up and answered the call, rolling his eyes in the process.

“Hello? … Hi mum … I’m, erm, a little busy … I’m with her at the hospital, yeah … it’s alright … bye love you.”

“Your mum, Lou?” she giggled.

He blushed a bit, “Yeah. Sorry.”

She shook her head as if to dismiss it. She didn’t mind in the least since she dealt with random calls during their times together quite often. These calls were important, most of the time, though. See, Louis was famous. He was in the popular boy band, One Direction. One Direction was formed a little over two years ago on The X Factor. The five boys weren’t put through to the next stage on the show as solo artists, but they were called back and put together as a group. They’ve all been inseparable since, hanging out whenever they could, touring together, gaining generous amounts of female attention no matter where they were, and so much more. When she was diagnosed with her cancer, the boys were nearing the end of their first headlining tour. Louis wanted more than anything to go and see her, but he wasn’t able to due to their location. He called her whenever he got the chance, making sure it was a reasonable hour back home, not that she would have cared if he called at 3 in the morning. The boys didn’t cancel their last few concerts, and they didn’t let anybody know about Lou’s girlfriend being diagnosed with cancer. The last thing any of them needed was that kind of thing going through the media. Louis kept his head down constantly after he had received the news, preventing press from seeing his saddened face. He cried often, purely from not being able to be there to comfort her, afraid that she was scared and lonely. The boys tried to help him, but nothing really calmed him completely. When the tour ended, he could barely wait to get off the plane back home to see her.

He was more than faithful to her. Louis hardly looked at another girl for more than a minute or two at a time. When he did, however, he wasn’t looking at her the way he looked at his beloved girlfriend. He couldn’t even guess at how many girls during tour tried to place their hands on him inappropriately or kiss him wherever they could. Louis enjoyed knowing that girls thought he was good looking but the feeling wasn’t the same one he got from her. She knew him unlike any of those other girls did. She knew nearly everything about him three years ago whereas the fans only knew what he let out over these two years. They thought they knew everything they could, but they barely knew him at all.

“No, don’t worry. Family comes before anything, really,” she said, tilting her head.

“How is that possible?” he smirked.

Her eye brows met in the middle and her nose crinkled, “What?”

“How is it possible that you’re as perfect as you are?”

“I’m not even close to perfect.”

“But you are. You’re perfect to me. You’ve stayed with me through everything. Through all the girls throwing their bodies at me while I’m out or away, while I embarrass myself on television or in interviews, even when my mom calls while we’re having a moment. You’re perfect!”

She blushed hard, and he flashed a bright smile towards her. It was three seconds later that there was a knock on the door followed by the turning of the handle. Both their heads turned towards the wood door opening up, and a head peeking through followed by a skinny body. It was a nurse. She smiled, and acknowledged Louis, knowing who he was since he’d been there all too much. She didn’t beat around the bush; she got straight to the point as to why she walked in.

“Louis, hun, I’m sorry but visiting hours are over. I let you stay a little longer, though. You can come back just when they start again at eight tomorrow morning,” she said.

He looked at the ground and sighed a bit, “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve lost track of time. I’ll be on my way, then.”

When the nurse turned and walked out, he turned to her and gave her a sorry look. He didn’t want to go, but then again, he never did. He slowly helped her back to her bland hospital bed. Louis didn’t leave until he was sure she was comfortable and was going to be fine. Before turning out, he kissed her with pure love, and reminded her that he loved her. He left quietly, giving a small goodbye to the nurse who had informed him about the visiting hours before. Just as always, a little knot in his stomach formed as he left the hospital. He always had a little twinge of fear of her dying before he could see her next. He had no idea when she would go and hoped every night that she would make it to the next day.

Louis looked around carefully as he walked as silently as he could out the main door. His eyes shifted around as if he were in a horror movie, checking every little area he could set his eyes on. He hadn’t been caught by paparazzi since he’d started his daily visits to the hospital. It’s been months and each and every day he snuck in, hidden behind glasses, hoodies, or beanies. Nobody has ever taken a picture of him walking in or out, and he didn’t plan on them doing that tonight or any night. Louis didn’t want anybody to know he was at the hospital every day for as long as he was. He wasn’t embarrassed; he just didn’t want the attention. Paparazzi would have a field day if they knew where he was all hours of the day and who he was with, not to mention what condition she was in. He especially didn’t want millions of different stories coming out about his girlfriend if they found out how sick she was. He didn’t want them invading her privacy without her knowledge. Louis knew that they would go to the ends of the world to get just the right words out of his mouth or just the right picture and turn it into a huge story that would spread worldwide. He liked the privacy. It felt amazing to be able to be alone with only choice people knowing his exact location and he planned to keep it that way.

Looking around one last time, Louis made a dash for his car across the parking lot. It may have been dark outside, but the lights from the poles above where shining and he could still be seen clearly under one. He ran out across the dark pavement, his head low, and reached for his door handle, pulling the door ajar. He hopped in and plopped in the seat with a heavy sigh. He didn’t do anything for a few moments, just sitting there with himself in silence. Louis was thinking about her and how she never left his mind even for a moment. Even when he wasn’t thinking about her, he was thinking about her. She made a statement in his mind, and an image of her burned in the back of his head whether he was aware of it or not. Taking in a large sized breath, he reached over for the keys and started the car engine, the lights flickering on, and the engine rumbling lightly beneath his body. Normally, he would turn on the radio and listen to soft music, but he didn’t do that tonight. Instead, he drove in silence with the sound of his breath as his only companion.

  For the next two weeks, Louis followed nearly the same routine. He woke up, went for work for a little, and spent the rest of his day with her at the hospital, sometimes the boys came to say hello, and he would leave, and repeat the next day. To most people, this routine would be boring, but to him it was everything. She was everything. Louis asked nearly every day if they saw any changed in her, and if she would possibly be alright. They all, not much to his surprise, said no. It was like, now, he was just waiting for her to pass away. She kept strong, though, just as always. He treated her like every moment was her last; showing her with those same old compliments and “I’ll always love you”s. Louis always wanted her to feel loved and special because she was, in every way possible.

  On a Thursday morning, he woke up yawning, and ready to do the same thing he’s been doing for quite some time now. He stumbled up and dressed himself, fixed his hair, and all his daily morning activities. Louis sauntered downstairs, about to grab some breakfast, when he heard a sob from the other room. He wasn’t sure who it was, or why they were sobbing, but he had to check it out. He poked his head around the corner down the hall only to find his mother with tears running down her cheeks. He felt his heart strings pull; he hated seeing his mother cry.

“Mom?” Louis squeaked, walking further into the room.

His mother, Jay, shot her head up to look at him,  and took a second to collect herself a little bit before responding, “Hi, Lou.”

“What’s the matter?” he was suddenly very scared at what the answer may be.

Jay’s eyes welled up with tears again as he said those three words. She felt horrible for what news she had to deliver to him, but nonetheless, it had to be delivered. Louis almost regretting asking what was wrong, because the sight of his mother told him it was nothing to take lightly. She sniffled one last time, wiped her eyes, and stood up. She positioned herself in front of his body, and gave off a look of pure sympathy. He wasn’t at all prepared for what she was about to say.

“Louis, I want you to listen to me, alright?”

“Yes, what is it?” he pushed for an answer.

She took in a deep breath, “She’s gone.

He didn’t quite catch on to what she meant, “W-what?”

“Lou, she’s passed. Last night around 2 a.m. they say her heart stopped and that’s it.

Suddenly a tsunami of emotion smacked him right in the face. There was so much to take in and feel in that moment. The first thing Louis felt was his heart drop out of his body. Most people say their hearts fall to their stomach, well his dropped out of his body completely. Next he felt his entire body go numb. There was no feeling in his entire body anymore. His mouth dropped, and his jaw shook. The all too familiar burn in the corners of his eyes formed and released in silent tears down his face. He shook his head from side to side in complete disbelief. She couldn’t be gone, she couldn’t be. She can’t leave him like this. But she did.

Quickly, he took a deep breath in through his mouth. When he tried to release it, he let out a harsh sob and the salty tears came down harder. Louis wanted to move, to run and never stop, but he couldn’t find the power to. It didn’t take too long for his knees to give out and for him to crumble to the ground. He buried his face in his hands and cried, shaking harshly, unable to speak, unable to stop. Jay bent over, and grabbed onto him, squeezing tight. She let out a few tears from the news but mostly from seeing her son in such a condition. Jay hated seeing Louis cry; it broke her heart to see him fall apart like that. He didn’t know what to do with himself in the moment besides cry and cry until he had no more liquid to release.

When he finally stopped, an hour later, he picked his head up, along with his body, and went to find his mother who had walked away to leave him be. Louis just needed somebody to hold onto for a little bit, and so he went for the one woman who would do it all day and all night without a single question. Upon finding his mother, he spoke no words, just walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder. She didn’t speak, but responded by wrapper her own arms around his body, holding tightly onto her broken son. Louis squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed tighter onto her. When he pulled off of her, he didn’t dare use any words, just looked at his mom broken heartedly. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot red from his sobs earlier, his cheeks and nose no different.

He slugged up to his room, closing the door lightly behind him. Louis wasn’t too sure what to do with himself in that moment. His body was still numb and he felt like he had nothing working in his body; like he was empty inside. He stared blankly at the wall from his position on the bed with no thoughts whatsoever running through his head. He wanted to believe this was just a nightmare of his, but he knew all too well that it wasn’t. There was no escape from this one. She was gone and he couldn’t do anything about it. He thought about going to the hospital but knew that her body would be gone by now, moved to a casket her parents picked out long ago from all the false dates of death the doctors said she would face. He thought about calling her mom, knowing she could use somebody, but didn’t want to hurt her more than she already was from the recent death of her daughter. His sisters loved her as much as he did, and would cry as much as he did once they found out. He hated seeing his family cry.

A week later her family had the funeral for her. Louis, of course, as her boyfriend of three years, was planning on going. He didn’t want to miss any second, and certainly planned on saying his last goodbye. When people were giving speeches about her, it took every bit of power he had in his still numb body to not burst out in tears and run away like a little child. He looked around seeing many familiar faces of people in her life that he’d met or friends of hers and some of his. All the faces, familiar to him or not, had the same expression of pure grief and disbelief. Nobody could believe she was actually gone. Snapped out of his thoughts, his name was called over a microphone. He was asked to make a speech since he was such a big part of her life. He bit his lip, but surely made his way over to the microphone. He started speaking, talking about all these little things about her that always made him smile. Half way into his speech, he felt a lump in his throat form, blocking his ability to speak. He, regrettably, had to step away to keep himself from bursting into hysterical tears right then and there. He could hear and even see a few people with tears on their faces, clearly caused by what he had said. When it came time to bury her underground for good, he watched with full attention, unwilling to miss a single second of her burial; and he didn’t.

Louis visited her every day, saying hello and talking to her grave as if it were her. He asked how it was up in heaven; after all he had heard it was a pretty great place. He asked if she was feeling better now that all the pain had finally ended, and if she met some people she’s been missing. He knew just as well as the grass below his bum did that there would be no answer.  Even so, he talked and chuckled sometimes as if she were there, not the cold, dark stone with her name on it. Every day he told “her” she was beautiful. Every day he told her that he loved her more than anything. Every day he admitted to missing her. This was becoming his new daily routine: wake up, go to work, visit her, go to bed, repeat. Just before he left her, he placed a light kiss on the stone, imagining it was her skin he was pressing his lips to. He didn’t want to believe he would never see her face again, but he accepted it eventually. Tears still fell now and then, and sometimes he cried himself to sleep, but he accepted it. She was gone.

Harry had been staring at the tweet the boy he loved, Louis Tomlinson, had sent out. The tweet used cruel language and made Harry question everything he ever felt around that boy. Maybe the feelings they deemed as mutual were all lies on Louis’ part. Harry had truly loved his boy with all his heart and wanted nothing more than his love back. He couldn’t deny that the tweet he read from the boy he called his lover broke everything inside of him. It was like a wave of pain washed over him once his eyes had read over the tweet at least three times. He couldn’t believe that Louis would say anything of the sort. Harry’s eyes read the message again, for at least the hundredth time:

                @Louis_Tomlinson: @skyleridk Hows this , Larry is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard. I’m happy why can’t you accept that.

One could say it was the tweet that broke millions of hearts. Harry’s included. He could almost hear all the hearts of people who supported their relationship, even though they hadn’t come out to anybody but the boys, heart’s break. No, they hadn’t told the public about them actually being together. Only the rest of the boys in One Direction knew as of now. Harry desperately wanted to tell the world, to stand on his rooftop and scream “I LOVE LOUIS TOMLINSON” and for Louis to do the same for him. He wanted to stop pretending and telling countless interviewers and fans that they were just good friends. They just couldn’t do that, though. There were countless obstacles in their way; number one being their management. The two boys could never imagine all the issues that Modest! would have with them coming out. Another issue was the fans. There were thousands and thousands whose favorite was Harry or Louis and wanted to be with one of them when they got older, not them being together and be gay. Them coming out would only shatter hearts. They didn’t want that. But Harry could guess that Louis didn’t care about all of that, he just went along and called everything the fans believed in and everything that was real between them bullshit. That hurt.

After a while Harry started to become angry. He felt his muscles tense and his nose twitch a little as his eyes narrowed. He went from heartbroken to furious. He didn’t feel sorry for himself anymore; he basically just wanted to punch a wall to let the feelings on through his fist. He wanted to scream until he had no voice left, he wanted to throw his phone against the carpeted floor beneath his feet and shatter it so he wouldn’t have to see that tweet in front of his eyes anymore. He truly believed Louis cared about him the way he cared about Louis. Apparently everything he had thought was a lie and that was proven earlier by Louis’ harsh tweet to that innocent girl who never even directed that tweet to him. Harry’s lips pursed as he took in deeper than normal breaths trying to control himself or he might actually punch a hole through the wall of his and Louis’ shared flat. His fists clenched and he closed his eyes just so he could calm himself down. His methods proved successful as he felt his nerves relax a little, only for the pain in his heart to come back.

Harry wanted to talk it out with anybody that wasn’t Louis. Harry wanted nothing to do with the older boy who had broken him so badly he could barely move himself all day. He wanted to tell somebody his feelings and be able to talk nonstop for as long as he could before breaking down and have them listen and try their best to understand. He needed somebody who understood him and would be more than willing to help him in such a situation. In all honesty, Harry had never had his heart broken by a guy before and everything was new to him. He needed Zayn Malik. Zayn was always one of the best with heart to hearts no matter what the subject. He was always a good listener and paid attention to every word anybody ever said to him, for the most part. Harry nodded to himself and picked his phone up off his knee, scrolling around for Zayn’s number and calling it once found.

“Hello?” Zayn answered.

“Hi, mate. Can we talk?” Harry asked.               

“Uh, yeah, sure. What’s the matter?”               

“It’s …. it’s Louis.”               

Zayn didn’t answer right away but slowly asked, “Y-you saw it, didn’t you?”               

Harry took in a shaky breath, “Yeah.”               

“I-I’m not quite sure what to tell you. How about you talk to me, yeah?”

Harry swallowed a little lump in his throat before replying, “Okay. Well, I guess I should start by telling you how badly I’ve been hurting all day. I mean, I’ve been sitting on the sofa over here for at least four maybe five hours just looking at it. I feel like my heart was ripped out by him. Like he never cared about anything and all we have is just bullshit. I thought he loved me, you know? It hurts to know he thinks we’re just bullshit.”

Zayn, on the other line, had grown more sympathetic for Harry after hearing that and wanted to help him as best he could. “Harry, why don’t you talk to him yourself?  Figure out what he meant.”

“No! I mean, I can’t. What’s there to find out, Zayn? He clearly doesn’t love me like I thought he did. It’s all just a big lie and he played me like a violin. I’m done with us, I’m tired of all the crap, it hurts too much,” he sniffled.

The two boys stayed silent while Harry let silent tears run down his face before Zayn spoke up, “You’re going to have to talk to him eventually. You can’t run away from him, he’s in the band, don’t forget. Look, I’m not sure what he meant by it and I know where you’re coming from but there’s nobody else who can help you other than him. Sure, I can listen to you talk and try to help you through the pain but, Harry, Louis is the only one who can answer your questions.”

Harry knew Zayn was right, yet still refused to talk to Louis, “Zayn please understand. I don’t want to talk to him right now. I can barely k-keep myself together talking to y-you. I-I just do-don’t know w-what to do!”

“Maybe you should just take some time to cool down and relax a little. Try taking a nap. Louis won’t be back at your flat anytime soon so you can sleep in peace, alright? Just breathe and try to clear your mind for some time. It’ll be good for you. I promise,” Zayn said thoughtfully.

“Sure. I’ll try. And Zayn?”

“Yeah, mate?”

“Thanks,” Harry said, “Means a lot to me.”

“Anytime, Harry. Bye now.”

   And with that, the two lads pressed the end buttons on their phones. Zayn wasn’t quite finished with his phone, where as Harry was. Harry turned his phone off and placed it on the table near the sofa he was and has been sitting on. He decided to listen to Zayn and calm his nerves by taking a quick nap and hopefully waking up with a little more organization in his mind. He swung his long legs up on the couch and comfortably put his head on a pillow, shutting his eyes softly and drifting off into sleep. Zayn, who felt horrible for Harry, decided to take a little action. He knew that Louis was completely unaware of how bad that tweet hurt Harry. Zayn shot Louis a text reading: “Hey, mate. Just want to let you know that Harry’s hurting real bad. Congratulations on that.” He thought that was straight to the point and turned his own phone off to avoid seeing a text back from Louis. After that was taken care of, Zayn went back to what he was doing before, hoping that Harry would be alright.

Meanwhile, Louis was off thinking about anything but his tweets. What Harry might think hadn’t crossed his mind for a second. Currently, Louis was at the recording studio, getting prep for his next recording. His session had started about an hour ago and was ending in a few more. He hadn’t even been home since the morning hours, after sending out the tweet that hurt so many people. He went out to breakfast with Niall earlier and had stayed out with a friend of his until he had to head to the studio. He was actually feeling quite happy, loving being in the familiar atmosphere of a recording booth. He loved the way the booth smelled like whichever boy was last in there. The recording studio was like a haven for him; a place to escape to when things were a mess. Today was one of those days where he needed an escape and was extremely thankful he was scheduled to record.

Singing into the microphone felt so right that day. It was one of those recording sessions that proved to him he was made for this. Every note came out clean and smooth, hitting the pitches perfectly. When he had moments of pure perfection, he could see the eyes of the people controlling the sound board on the outside of the booth light up with pure joy. Sometimes they would smile, even just a little, resulting in a little smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. Those people have seen him at his worst and his best and even their little smiles meant something to Louis. He was having the time of his life recording; singing his heart out and numbing himself with happiness. Louis was so into his singing he hadn’t even felt his phone vibrate from the text Zayn had sent him not too long ago. Once Louis had finished his recording for the evening, he wasn’t too eager to leave. He was in a fantastic mood, completely forgotten about the drama he was involved in before. He saw he had received a text from Zayn as he peered at his phone screen, but ignored it and turned his phone off. He was just a bit excited to finally see Harry after a long day away and wanted his blasted phone out of sight and out of mind. Little did he know Harry wasn’t excited to see him.

Arriving back at their flat, Louis jiggled the key in the lock and pushed the door open, stepping inside and retrieving the key once again. He shed his coat off of his shoulders, hung it up on the coat rack he loved so much and placed his key on the table right next to it. It was then that he noticed how quiet the flat seemed. Normally, Harry would have the television on or music playing or even have run up to hug him tightly by now. Louis furrowed his eyebrows and took a quick scan around him, checking to make sure a cheeky Harry wasn’t right in front of his eyes. When he saw nobody and heard no signs of life he called out for the younger lad.

“Harry? You home?” he spoke into the silent air.

Suddenly he heard a faint snore coming from the room over, and a shuffle on what sounded like the couch. Louis nodded to himself and padded over to the source of the snore only to find a sleeping Harry. It wasn’t exactly what he was hoping to come home to. He would have preferred Harry running over and kissing him hard and long the second he walked through the door instead of being dead asleep on the couch. Louis couldn’t help but notice Harry’s disheveled appearance. He knew Harry was one to sleep fairly still, not roll around or anything much more than a flip onto his other side. He took quick notice of Harry’s hair which was a mess and matted to his forehead from sweat. Harry thought he could get away from everything for a while by taking a nap but it only brought him into a world of pain and misery, dreaming about the worst things that could happen to him at this time, resulting in a cold sweat slicking his forehead. Louis felt a little tug on his heart strings seeing Harry look as if he was having a nightmare. He wanted desperately to help the boy, but he couldn’t do anything. He was the reason for the boy’s nightmare.

Harry whimpered in his sleep moments later, a heart clenching whimper. Louis sucked his bottom lip and decided to slowly wake him up. He started by grabbing onto his shoulder and shaking lightly, hoping he would feel the movements of his body. He didn’t. Louis tried again, this time calling his name which proved to be successful. Harry’s eyes snapped open, startled and unaware of what was going on. His breath caught as he saw Louis hovering over him and he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Hello, love,” Louis said softly, still clueless about Harry’s broken heart.

Harry didn’t respond so Louis said something else, “You alright?”

Harry didn’t answer, and wasn’t planning on it anytime soon. He pushed his body up off the couch and, without a word, made his way upstairs and into the bedroom. He closed the door and burst into tears. Louis was left alone to sit in pure confusion. He didn’t know what Harry’s problem was and was hurt by the reaction he got. He’d expected Harry to wake up and squeeze Louis to his body, holding him tightly and maybe planting a kiss or two on whatever exposed skin he could get his lips on. Instead he got nothing; just ignored.  It only took him a minute to actually get a tad angry at the lack of enthusiasm Harry had for his arrival back home. Louis lifted himself up and walked straight to the bedroom Harry had carelessly forgotten to lock. He didn’t enter straight away but he started talking.

“Harry! What’s wrong? Why did you ignore me like that? I’ve been gone all day and that’s what I get when I arrive home? I mean what the hell? Harry?”

Louis pushed the door open, determined to get an answer. He walked in, about to speak, when he saw a truly horrid image. Harry was balled in the middle of the floor; his knees were brought to his chest and his eyes flooding over with countless tears. He had finally broken down into tears and strangled cries. He didn’t want to cry, but it was the one he knew he could release a lot of his feelings. He hadn’t noticed Louis walk in since his cries were louder than his voice. He squeezed his eyes shut and sobbed, sniffling hard. Louis was gaping at the hurting boy on the floor, not exactly sure what to even do.

With hurt in his voice, Louis spoke out, “H-Harry?”

Harry took in a short breath and snapped his eyes open, “Go away.”

“What? Harry.”

“I said go away. Just leave me alone,” Harry said sternly.

“Not until I know what the matter is. Baby, you’re broken down in middle of the floor. I want to help you.”

 “How can you help me when you’re the one who broke me?” Harry mumbled.

“W-what? C’mon, speak up.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s just a load of bullshit,” he said exaggerating the last word.

Lou’s breath hitched, “N-no.”

Harry regained composure and stood up to speak, “Yes. I saw it, Louis. Is that really what you think about everything we’ve been through? Does nothing matter to you? You’ve just been playing me the whole time like you’re little puppet, probably laughing behind my back about all the things I’d do for you. I fell in love with you and this is how you show me you “feel the same”.  How could you?”

Louis didn’t speak; gaining a scoff from Harry was he pushed passed the boy in the door way, and heading for the front door. He was done with this. He needed to leave. Louis, being the way he is, wouldn’t let Harry get away from him like that. He felt horrible about the things he made Harry feel. He had never intended to break Harry’s heart, just wanted people backing off of him and Harry’s lives.

“Harry! Harry! Please, wait! Harry, please!” he begged.  “Don’t leave right now, please. Harry!”

“I’ve had enough of all the lies, you know. I’m tired of telling everybody I care about that we’re just friends. I’m sick of saying things that I’ve been told to say. I’m done with it. If I can’t hold your hand on the street or kiss you whenever and wherever I want, then this isn’t worth it. If I have to hide everything about us, then I’m done with it. I’m done.”

“No! Harry no, baby, please. Listen to me, you have to listen, this is all just a big misunderstanding. Please understand, Harry. I-I love you too much to let you go like this,” Lou begged and reached out to grab Harry’s arm.

Harry pulled away, “Don’t touch me.”

With that to remember him by, Harry grabbed a key off the small table, not caring whose it actually was, and walked out the front door. Louis had no choice but to watch him leave and then stare at the door, letting the events that just occurred sink in. He wasn’t sure if he should cry, wallowing in self pity or chase after the boy he loved. Thinking it over, Lou realized how pointless it would be to chase after him and hurt Harry more than he already was. A good cry wouldn’t solve anything but the burning sensation in his eyes. Gnawing on his bottom lip, Louis started to think over what he’d done.

He remembered feeling so angered, as if steam was going to burst from his ear drums. He was tired of people doing everything they could to convince the entire fan base that Larry Stylinson was real. Sure he was flattered that people were so convinced they were together, but he just wanted them out of his business. Maybe tweeting what he did was taking it all too far. When he first posted it, he was proud of himself, but now that he’s seen how bad it killed Harry, he felt instantly guilty and regretted the action.  There was no worse feeling in his life than seeing Harry upset, let alone crying. Quickly a light bulb lit his head, sparking his confidence and screaming at him to chase after Harry and fill in the hole he had dug.

Driving around the small town their flat was located in, Louis mulled over his and Harry’s relationship. He realized how terrible it was keeping a secret from the entire world, especially when people wanted it to happen. People wanted to see he and Harry kiss in public, to hold hands, and tell each other “I love you.”, but their management didn’t. Their management had made it clear that any feelings between them had to be publicly kept to a minimum. The boys were told to deny anything that had to do with them being in a relationship, but they both said no. They said they wouldn’t deny anything, but never confirm, and management was satisfied. Louis questioned why he told off that girl who innocently said something that was completely true. Was it really that he was angry or was he just being stupid? He would be lying if he said he was just trying to carry out what management had told him.

There was no time left to wallow in thought as Louis pulled up to Liam’s flat, where he lived alone. Lou hoped Liam was home, and maybe Harry was there as well. He knocked softly on the door, and stepped back, waiting patiently for Liam to open up. Liam looked surprised as he set his eyes open Lou’s soft face. He had not been expecting to see him around.

“Hey, mate, what’s up?” Liam asked, letting Lou inside.

“Liam, do you know where Harry could be?” Louis asked as he looked around for Harry inside.

Liam thought before answering, “I don’t think so. Last I heard he was at your flat. Try Niall’s maybe?”

“Thanks, Liam. I just need to find him now. Bye!” he called as he booked it out the door and back into his car.

A very confused and somewhat unsurprised Liam just shook his head and turned back into his home, shutting the door behind him. He was clueless.  Lou’s heart was beating quickly as his adrenaline levels raised higher than they should have been. He needed to find Harry; there was no question about it anymore, no choice. With the sudden adrenaline rush came more force of his foot on the gas pedal, speeding up his driving to what may be an unsafe speed. The presence of police seemed to be absent, so naturally Louis wasn’t worried of being pulled over. Little did he know there was an officer around the next corner whom he failed to see. His ears rang with the sirens of an officer signaling him to pull to the side most likely for his speeding. This situation didn’t help with his heart rate or his rush to get to Harry. This was only slowing him down when he needed so desperately to go faster and faster.

Harry, on the other hand, was at Niall’s. He was cuddled with a pillow hugged to his chest and his legs criss-cross under him in a leather arm chair. His chin was pressed to the top of the pillow as he stared off out the window with a blank mind and a broken heart. Tears had stopped a while ago, after a long talk with Niall who was fully aware of Louis’ tweet and willing to help like the good friend he always was. Harry’s eyes, however, were still a light red, and his cheeks were flushed, but he could breathe steadily and see clearly, once again. The only thing that ran through his empty mind was the name of the person he wanted nothing to do with: Louis. Harry, even though he didn’t want to be found and encountered, was secretly wishing in the back of his head that Louis was searching for him and understanding what he did wrong.  Niall had entered the room Harry was in once again after going to get some pain killers for the massive head ache both he and Harry had developed. Niall wasn’t feeling too hot, hence the head ache, and Harry had strained himself so much with the crying and trying to explain his situation with Niall that his brain started to pound against his skull. Harry took the pills and swallowed them dry, not caring about the lump they created in his throat before going down fully. He just wanted relief; for all of this to be over and for him to be able to run into Louis’ arms again without feeling that he was a load of bullshit.

A chaste knock on the door caused a low groan from Harry whose head still hadn’t quit pounding all the way, and a confused look from Niall. Nobody was expected to be around his place, including Harry, but maybe he missed a memo. Niall made his way over to the door and opened it a bit only to find a frantic Louis Tomlinson on his doorstep. He wasn’t always one to get in the middle of things, but this was a pretty serious situation that he felt he needed to step into. Harry turned himself to peek over the side of the arm chair he was perched in only to catch a glance at Louis. He cringed a bit, still not ready to face him, and gasped lightly out of pure surprise. He hadn’t thought Lou would try Niall’s place and that’s a big part of why he was there in the first place. He turned back into the armchair and pulled his legs in further and squeezed the pillow tighter to his body as if it would protect him from a bullet. He swallowed heavily as he listened in on the conversation between Niall and Louis.

“Niall, I need to find Harry. Is he here?”

“Erm, why do you ask?” Niall said trying to find a way to word his sentences so he wouldn’t give away Harry’s presence.

“I’ve broken him and need to put him back together again. Please. Do you know where he is?”

Niall grumbled a bit and pushed Lou further outside, shutting the door almost all the way before speaking again, “Yeah, I do.”

Louis’ eyes lit up instantly, raising his tone, “Well then where is he?”

Sighing he spoke, “He’s inside. He’s so heartbroken Lou, I don’t think you understand. I’m not too sure he wants to see you at the moment.”

Lou bit his lip, not too excited to hear he didn’t want to be seen but still persisted, “Niall please. Please just let me see him.”

He sighed and pushed the door back open and allowing Louis inside. Harry hadn’t heard anything, but the sound of muffled voices behind the closed door. He knew it was Louis and he wasn’t sure if Niall had let him inside. The sound of four feet, two of which were moving quicker than the other two, was enough to inform him that both Louis and Niall were inside. Burying himself more into the pillow, Harry tried his best to stay quiet and out of sight. It took almost no time for Louis to find Harry. His wide eyes softened incredibly once they were set upon Harry. Harry’s eyes diverted themselves from Lou, keeping an intent gaze on the carpet below his feet despite the burning feeling of the other boy’s eyes on his body. Niall had left the room, leaving the two alone to sort out their problems, he hadn’t wanted to intrude.

“Hey,” Louis chocked out.

“Hi,” Harry replied blankly.

“Harry, can you please look at me?”

Harry basically forced himself to shift his eyes onto Lou’s begging face; but he did it.

"I-I don’t know what to say to you. I said I was sorry, but that clearly doesn’t make a difference,” he paused for a second. “I was stupid. An outright idiot. I said what I said because I wanted people off of my back. I get all these tweets from people telling me that I should just come out from the closet already or that I should just admit I’m dating you. I hate being the one who gets the most comments about being gay because I’m not as big or as masculine as you or someone like Zayn is. So what if I’m a bit more feminine, I lived with females my entire life! Besides that, I want to admit everything about us, I really do, but I can’t risk the entire band’s career because of what I want. I could care less about what management thinks and you know that, but there are three other amazing boys in this band and we can’t put them in a position where they could lose their career and those people up at headquarters could take it all away if they really wanted. The girl I replied to was something I had seen on my timeline and I don’t know what made me click reply and say what I said but something inside of me clicked and I did it. I don’t mean a word of what I said because, in all honesty, I love Larry and I love us and I love you. Harry, I love you. You’re not bullshit. You’re anything but that, I swear. I wasn’t thinking, and now that I see how you reacted to it, I see just how stupid I was. I see how getting fed up with everything can really cause you to do stupid things. I can’t take it back, but I would do anything to have you look at me the way you did yesterday, to kiss me like you did yesterday, to hold me like you did just yesterday. I would do just about anything to turn back time to before my mistake and make sure I never do it. All I can really say is sorry. I mean that more than anything I’ve ever said. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry. I-I’m sorry.”

With that, he gave Harry a pleading look, hoping something in his eyes had changed. Nothing had. Lou sighed and turned his body over so he could leave. He didn’t want to cause any problems, only to let his feelings out. Walking towards the door, he heard Harry shuffle in his seat behind him, but nothing more. As he was turning the door handle, he heard a whimper. He stopped dead in his tracks, concerned it was something important, and waited to see if he could hear it again. It took him almost no time to realize who it was making that noise and what they were actually saying. Harry.

“Lou?”  he called.

“Harry?” he answered.

Harry shuffled around more, pushing aside the pillow he was desperately gripped to not too long ago. He gathered all the strength he had left and pushed is heavy body off of Niall’s chair. He gathered himself, fixed his hair a bit, and sighed as he turned around to face Louis who was frozen at the door. Harry stared intently at Lou as he pondered over what he could say about that speech. The boy in the doorway was becoming extremely anxious, and wanted oh so badly to know what the other had to say.

”I believe you.”

Those three words were all it took to send Louis running from the door, across the room, and into Harry’s arms. His charge toward Harry was anything but graceful and ended almost painfully as he smashed his body onto Harry’s and grabbed him tightly. It was just about as far away from the scenes you see in movies as it could have ever been. Neither of them cared, though. Lou’s arms were flung over Harry’s shoulders, meeting around his neck as he clung onto him as if he’d disappear if he let go.  Harry’s arms wrapped themselves around Louis’ torso and he squeezed back with the same force. Their faces were buried into each other’s necks, taking in the scent both had missed dearly. They clung to each other for a few minutes; just standing there in the middle of the floor as if their bodies had been super glued together.

“I’m so sorry, Haz. I love you so much.” Louis muttered into Harry’s neck.

"S’fine, Lou. It’s all okay now. I love you, too.”

“Let’s go home, yeah? Maybe we can cuddle a bit?” Louis suggested.

“Yeah, I need that after a bullshity day like this one.” Harry chuckled.

 My sudden dozing was interrupted by a soft knocking on my door. I groaned and turned over to the door as if my brain would open it by magic. I pushed the covers over my body, sat up and waited to hear another knock. Blinking heavily, I glanced over at the clock and found it was around noon. Knock knock. I walked over to the door, looking like a huge mess. I did a quick fix to my hair before opening the door, just in case.  People didn’t need to see me looking like I do when I wake up; it might make them pass out. I turned the handle, opening the door to reveal a boy with bright blue eyes standing there.  He was wearing navy blue pants and a grey hoodie. To match his hoodie, he was sporting a grey beanie to cover the hair he obviously wasn’t up to fixing.

“Hey, Lou,” I greeted him.

 “Hey, love, are you up for some coffee? I need some and Liam doesn’t want to go,” he asked me.

 “Of course. C’mon in for a second,” I moved and let him step inside. “Just face towards the window while I get dressed, okay?”

  Sure thing,” he chuckled, sitting down.

I stripped my top off and rummaged through my suitcase. I wasn’t sure what it was like outside so I judged what to wear from Louis’ outfit.  I dressed myself in my white hoodie I got from Disney and some dark denim jeans. Standing up, I notified the boy on my bed that it was safe for him to turn around. I didn’t bother much with my makeup, just using foundation and a bit of mascara so I didn’t look too bare. He stood up once I was finished and smiled. Asking if I was ready, he started walking towards the door while I grabbed my phone in case somebody would need me while I was out. On the way out of the building, we ran into some of the boys’ security.  They asked what we were up to, and we simply stated we were going out for coffee. As usual, they warned us to be safe, and if something came up, to get out of there as fast as possible. I nodded towards them making sure to give a little smile as Lou pulled me out and away.

Walking down the sidewalk of the quiet area, I realized I still didn’t know where we were going. I didn’t bother to ask because in all honesty, I didn’t care. I wasn’t prepared for the sudden burst of wind that came flying in our faces. It stung my cheeks and I felt them burn probably resulting in a light shade of red on the inflicted area.  I hugged myself as another, lighter, wind flew at us.  I let my eyes wander around the street, studying the features it had. We passed a little pastry shop, an Italian restaurant, what looked to be a market, and a few other buildings I couldn’t identify. This was generally a quiet street, with maybe 3 cars passing a minute.  The hotel we were in was very nice and seemed extravagant compared to the simplicity of the street it was located on. The street was cared for with flourishing trees and flowers the whole stretch. The rain had subsided before Lou and I left but the thunder and grey sky remained intact. The smell of rain mixed with some warm pastry coated the area, filling my nostrils with a relaxing scent.

  “Louis, where are we headed?” I asked a good 5 minutes down the road.

 “I heard there was a Starbucks around here,” he smirked.

He loves Starbucks. I bet that this boy would live his life in one of their many stores if he could. I peered ahead, trying to see if I could recognize their famous logo anywhere.  I couldn’t seem to find it which led to the idea that there was no Starbucks around here. Not 3 minutes later, we had found the coffee shop Louis was talking about.  He opened the door and allowed me to go in, like the gentleman he was. It was empty, minus an older woman ordering her tea. She smiled at us and tilted her head a little bit, clearly unknowing of whom we were.  On her way out, she whispered into Lou’s ear: “She’s a pretty one!” and walked out of the store. His jaw dropped at either the comment she had made into his ear or how serious she sounded saying it. I bit my lip, holding back a burst of laughter. My eyes followed her as she walked out and down the street, not even glancing back at us. We were both kind of stunned and stood there staring at each other. Louis and I aren’t together; just on a trip to get some needed coffee.

I flickered my gaze from Lou’s agape mouth to the man behind the counter.  This was a small shop that only required one person on duty at a time.  The man was tall and skinny, with jet black hair that stood an inch off his head.  His green eyes were warm and inviting, and he smiled over at me when he met my gaze.  I peered back and Lou who looked like he almost didn’t know what to do with himself, and then traveled over to the welcoming gentleman.

“Hello! What can I get for you?” he said warmly.

Hi,” I smiled, “Can I get two coffees? Cream and sugar in both, please.”

 “Coming right up, sweetie. Can I have your name?” he asked.

I told him my name and Lou’s to put on one of the coffees.  Lou had moved himself to sit down at one of the tables for two. He seemed as if he had gotten over the comment that woman had sincerely said to him.  He was studying the wall of the shop that had a large map of the world on it.  There was a sign above it saying: “Take a pin. Show me where you’re from!” with a small cup of push pins next to it. He seemed to be pondering over the idea of putting a pin into Doncaster, England, where he grew up in the map. A few seconds later, the welcoming man at the counter called my name and placed our coffees at the counter. I walked back over to the counter, paid the man the amount due, and thanked him with a nice smile.  It was little shops like this that I loved to go to.  The workers were always happy and never seemed to be in a bad mood, plus, the light and friendly atmosphere was comfortable and inviting. I took the hot coffees, one in each hand, and made my way back over to Lou. He was texting somebody; probably one of the boys or maybe one of his four lovely sisters. I put his cup in front of him, making him look up at the cup and then at me.  His eyes lit up at the sight of the scorching liquid. He looked up to me once more and thanked me for getting it for him.  He told me he zoned out and hadn’t realized he forgot to order for himself.  I didn’t mind, though. He doesn’t always have to pay for everything and sometimes he deserves somebody to get his coffee for him, which is exactly what I did. He really appreciated the little gesture.

Lou stood up after grabbing onto his cup with both hands and walked over to the world map.  He took the cup into his left hand, and used his right to reach into the tray of pins and carefully grab one without impaling himself.  He grabbed one with a red knob at the end and moved over to Europe, more specifically England, and placed it on the area he had estimated was his town of Doncaster.  He smiled, looking completely happy with himself.  It was amusing that something so simple could make him so happy. Leaving the shop, I turned and waved at the nice man who helped with my order before, and then took my place next to Lou.  We didn’t do much talking on the way back, just a few comments here and there about how amazing the coffee was or how he needed that so badly. The only noise between us for the short walk excluding the small comments was the sound of the light slurping that was required if you wanted to take a sip without burning your tongue off. The hot liquid going down my throat felt wonderful against the crisp air outside. Every sip left a lingering patch of heat in the center of my throat that lasted a few seconds and then reset each time a new sip was taken.

Walking through the hotel door was like walking through a wall of heat.  I never noticed how warm the lobby actually was until just now. It felt amazing and helped the sting of heat from the harsh wind melt off my cheek bones. I took another sip of my less scorching hot coffee and walked with Louis to the elevators. He sighed contently as we stepped into the elevator.  I’m not sure why he did but I assumed it was just the coffee and the cozy feeling of the hotel. Maybe it was that he made it down to the lobby, outside and down the street into a Starbucks, and back to the hotel without being noticed by a single person. I gave a little smile in his direction, even though it went unnoticed as he took a generous sip of his coffee with his eyes closed. When the elevator stopped on our floor, I walked out followed by him and down the hall way.  Liam was walking down the hall, toward us. Once he recognized our faces, he smiled and greeted us.

 “I was actually about to knock on your doors! You two fancy a late lunch?” Liam asked.

I shrugged, “Sure.”

Lou agreed, as well. I saw somebody walk out of their room behind Liam and I looked around his body to see who it was.  It was another member of the band, Niall.  He looked down the hall and noticed Lou, Liam and I talking.  He walked over to us.

 “What’s up?” he questioned.

 “Just going to grab a late lunch. Care to join?” Lou offered Niall an invite.

Niall said he was all up for food. It all felt like déjà vu walking down the hall and into the elevator, back down to the lobby and through the doors. This time I walked next to Niall who I gave the last bit of my coffee to. I smiled a bit as we turned into the small pastry shop Lou and I passed before. It smelled even more wonderful inside.  We decided to grab some muffins and sit at one of the 4 person tables outside.  The sun hadn’t come out but the table had dried and it wasn’t piercingly cold outside.  The muffins were warm and moist, filling all of our empty stomachs and warming our insides.  Our conversation went from the map at Starbucks to puppies and everywhere inbetween.

That’s what happens with the boys, your conversations never really stay on one topic for too long.  They’re like little children sometimes in the way they act.  There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s actually quite fun to be able to act like you’re not as old are you really are with people you’re close with.  It’s fun to let loose and not have a care in the world.  It’s times like these where the boys really let go in public; times when there aren’t fans bombarding all over them, pushing and shoving just trying to catch a glimpse.  It’s also times like these where I really think about what position I’m in, that is being around the boys. Little by little I understand more and more how the fans see me and what image I have to uphold around them.  The boys’ smiles are genuine all the time, but seem even more so when they’re with just each other. There’s just something about them when the fans aren’t around, but I don’t know what that something is.

Louis was with her. She’s been with him for the past two days, and plenty of staggered days before that. Enough days to make Harry sick of her. He didn’t want her around anymore.  He wanted to be with Louis, but as long as she was, he couldn’t be. He felt everything he loved was being ripped from him little by little. He could hear the click of the camera shutter behind him. Somebody took a picture, but not of him. It was a picture of Louis and Eleanor together. He knew they were behind him, but he didn’t care. He felt a caring hand on his shoulder, as he turned his head to the side to meet the deep brown eyes of Zayn. Zayn looked sympathetic, as if he knew what was going on. His eyes were caring, and he tried to give a little smile as he patted Harry on the shoulder with his head tilted to the side. He mouthed a quick “you okay?” to Harry, but he didn’t make an effort to answer. Harry just stared back at him for a short second, twitching his lips to the left of his face as if to say “Not really” before turning away. Harry took in a deep breath, and let it out through his nose, trying to control the overflow of emotion inside of his sensitive body.

He could hear the faint click-click of heels on the pavement not too far behind his back. He knew exactly whose heels those were. Eleanor walked right by him and away from the rest of the boys, including her boyfriend, Louis, a few short moments after that camera snapped her picture. Peeking over to the side, following the path she had taken, Harry could see her walking away and took note of the fact that she never turned her head back in the slightest and just kept walking. He ran a hand over the side of his face from frustration, anger, depression, and a smidge of relief from her leaving. He was glad she was gone. She shouldn’t be around as much as she is, anyway. Backing up a few paces, Harry bumped into a hand and immediately stopped. He drew in a quick breath before checking to see who he’d knocked into. He was about to apologize but, when he turned, he laid eyes on the one person that had hurt him the most. He met eyes with the person who was responsible for every single hurt feeling in his body. He met eyes with Louis Tomlinson. Louis attempted to say something, but before his message could be formed into a full sentence, Harry turned away and took a step forward, looking at the ground. He didn’t want to talk to Louis; it would hurt him even more. Harry didn’t want to hear the excuses of “I rarely get to see her”, and “you can’t seriously be angry at me”.  Zayn was constantly glancing from the dark pavement below his feet to the hurt boy next to him. He tried to think of something to say to Harry, but none of the words came together the right way. Zayn wanted to help, not hurt him more than he already was.

Louis was standing in the background alone. He was looking at his feet, taking awkward steps backward and forward constantly. He wasn’t too sure what to do with himself. He had already tried to talk to Harry, but he refused to and turned away. Louis felt his heart shatter looking up at Harry who looked so miserable. He knew very well why he was miserable, but there was nothing he could do about it. Louis sighed quietly as he started to fiddle with his index finger. He knew he had screwed up and he knew it was pretty bad because of the look on Harry’s face. His face was pained, and clearly hurt. He showed no signs of a sincere smile, or even that oh-so-famous smirk of his. Louis knew very well that under those sunglasses, Harry’s eyes were shattered and broken, ready to crack at any instant. His heart fell down to the pit of his stomach and his head jerked up at the sound of Harry sniffling lightly. Suddenly everything started to hurt, and he felt a tad dizzy. His eyes looked frantically around him, searching for something, anything to get his mind off of the boy he knew he was hurting. During his frantic search for a semi-interesting object, he settled his wandering eyes on the pained boy in the little area: Harry. He wanted to run over and hug him tightly right then and there, and tell him how much he means to him but he knew he couldn’t. He wanted to show Harry he cared, but no proper way on how to do so appeared in his head.

 Harry wasn’t sure how to feel once he and the boys got away from the small crowd of lovely fans. He didn’t want to feel happy he was away from the people who got him to where he was in his career, but at the same time he didn’t want to be around people in general; especially Louis. He didn’t want to see Louis, he didn’t want to hear Louis, he didn’t want to talk to Louis, and he didn’t even want to be within ten feet of Louis. Even when he was clearly out of sight from the fans, he left his sunglasses over his eyes because he was afraid that the rest of the boys and Paul might see how hurt he was and he didn’t want that. Harry’s eyes were the key to his emotions. His eyes screamed his emotion, whether it was a good or bad one. He knew his eyes were hurt, and the little burn from back behind that building still lingering in the corners of his eyes reminded him of it. He didn’t dare talk, or look anywhere but in front of him, just in case that burn became too much and relieved itself by releasing tears in its place. He didn’t want to cry, not in front of the boys.

So here she was, in a casino, too young to gamble and tired and moody from the long car ride from Arizona. She decided on trying to get some sleep now, since she knew as soon as Mae and Rick came home after drinking the sound of their sex in the other bed would be unbearable. She curled up in the bed and closed her eyes. A second later she heard grunting coming from the room next door.

Usually she would let the couple have their fun, but she was done. She was tired and angry as she jumped out of bed, went out of her room and knocked on their door. Once she heard a voice from the other side yell, “one minute,” she realized what she was doing. What was she supposed to say? “Hey, from the sound of it you’re having some intense sex, but I’m trying to sleep so could you quiet down?” She grabbed for the handle to her own door when she noticed that she forgot her room key.

The door she knocked on opened and she was face to face with a boy about her age. His eyes were bright green and he was smirking. His dark brown curls were matted to his forehead which was a clear sign he had been sweating. The boy was wearing only a towel which wasn’t doing a very good job at covering his evident bulge. Avery felt something in the pit of her stomach as she peered down his toned body and stared right at the lump under his towel. When she realized she was staring at it with an open mouth, she quickly looked away.

“Harry, who’s at the door?” she heard a voice call from the background. A male voice.

“I- I,” she stammered, looking down at his towel once more and back up to his face, where his smirk had gotten bigger.

“I should go,” she whispered and turned to her door, trying to turn the handle on her door, until she remembered she had forgotten the key.

“I don’t have my key…” she said, standing there like an idiot thinking of what to do.

“Aye, Louis!” the boy, she thought was named Harry, called. “Come here.”

“Um, I can’t,” Louis yelled back. “I, well, don’t have any clothes on.”

Avery’s eyes widened as she caught a glimpse of the guy in the bed with the sheets covering the bottom half of his body. His brown hair was a complete mess, just as the other boys’, and he was obviously trying to catch his breath from the events occurring just minutes ago.

“Come in,” Harry said, nodding his head toward his room while she stood her ground. “Come on, we aren’t going to hurt you.”

“Unless you want us to!” Louis shouted from the bed.

“Shut up, Lou,” Harry mumbled. “Come on.”

She slowly walked into the room, cautious of her new surroundings. She watched as Harry sat himself down on the bed and gently patted the spot next to him. She awkwardly sat down between Harry and Louis.

“So what’s your name, babe?” Louis asked, slightly smirking.

“I’m Avery,” she answered timidly.

Harry leaned closer to Avery and placed his right hand on her leg. She quickly noticed it was large and found herself imagining all the things that it could do to her. Avery was lost in her thoughts until she looked up and found Harry’s face uncomfortably close to her own. Her eyes traveled up and down his face, studying his pink lips.

“Don’t be uncomfortable,” he whispered, exhaling a hot breath right in her face.

Harry forcefully pushed his lips onto hers, not caring she wasn’t kissing him back. Her heart was suddenly racing one hundred miles per hour. She got lost in the moment of Harry’s lips on her and was loving every second.  His left hand traveled up her back, under her shirt sending shivers down her spine. Avery found herself insanely turned on, thinking about the beautiful boy kissing her and moving his hand up and down the small of her back.  Harry pulled himself off of her, looked over at Louis, and smirked.

Louis pulled himself out from under the sheets, ignoring the fact that he was completely nude, and pushed Avery back. She didn’t seem to mind, which was the signal for Harry to take off his towel and then her clothes. Once her shirt and shorts were off Louis reached up her legs, then her stomach and reached for her bra. When he took it off he cupped both of her breasts and palmed them slowly. A whimper escaped Avery’s mouth as he did so. Louis soon stopped and moved down her body, trailing his tongue along down her stomach. She watched him impatiently, completely aware of what he was about to do to her. He traced his finger across the line of her panties, and watched her face and she bit her lip and tensed, waiting for him to go further.

Louis turned his head and nodded toward Harry who was watching intently, stroking his own erection. Harry grabbed one of Avery’s breasts and rubbed her nipple between his thumb and index finger, resulting in a low moan from her. Just as Louis grabbed the other, he placed his palm against her pussy. She gasped and put her arms above her head. Louis was gently rubbing her and she bucked her hips begging for more. He kept going slowly not giving into her constant thrusts. She moaned and shut her eyes. Once they were opened again, her view was blocked from Harry leaning over her side. Just as she was about to question what he was doing, she felt a tongue swirl on her nipple.

“Harryyyyyy…” she moaned. He pulled up and away from her chest just as Louis removed her panties. He stuck one, two and then three fingers inside her and she moaned even louder. “Oh! Louis!”

Louis pushed his fingers inside of her, stopping once his fingers were completely enveloped in her. He pulled them out and pushed them back in slowly, making sure she felt and enjoyed every second of it. Not too much later, he could feel she was almost reaching her peak due to the contracting walls around him, and quickly pulled his fingers out. Before she had time to scream at him, he guided his dick to her entrance. At a steady pace, he thrust inside her, making her scream. “Louis!” After a few seconds she reached her hands out, “Harry, uh! Where, oh, are you?”

“Here,” he said, putting his face next to hers with a clear smile showing. She rolled her head to face him, her eyes closed in pure pleasure. She knew what she wanted to do to him, but could barely get the words out. She wanted to make him feel just as good as Louis was making her feel.

“I want,” she started, then gasped. “Oh Louis!”

“Tell me what you want,” he said in a seductive tone.

“I want to- ah, fuck, Louis!” She groaned, and bit her lip.

“You want to what?” Harry teased, knowing exactly what she wanted.

“I want to- ugh- give you pl-pleasure!” She screamed.

Harry smiled fully aware of what she meant. He carefully kneeled on the bed, placing his knees on either side of her head and holding himself up with aid from the headboard of the bed, prepared for the intense pleasure he knew he was about to be given. Avery grabbed his member in her hands, stroking it up and down, then slowly started kissing the tip multiple times. She carefully took the tip in her mouth and lightly sucked on it, earning a loud moan from Harry’s parted lips. She tried to take it all in her mouth, but he was far too big for such a thing. She stroked the rest of what she couldn’t fit in her mouth and sucked what she could. She occasionally moaned onto him, sending unintentional vibrations up his body, creating a groan unlike any she’s ever heard. Louis continued to pound in and out of her body, grunting and panting hard from all the work he was doing and the pleasure he was feeling. Harry started breathing hard, and shaking just a bit, same with Louis, and it was clear they were both about to reach their highs. Louis’s thrusts started becoming sloppy and lost nearly all rhythm as he neared closer and closer to the edge. She felt Louis’ member twitch inside of her, and he released himself inside of her harshly, calling out her name and one final grunt before finishing off. Harry came soon after Louis did, with a loud “ugh!” from his lips as he gripped tighter onto the headboard, causing his knuckles to turn white. Pulling himself out from her mouth, Avery smirked widely at him and swallowed, making sure he was watching her do so. 

“You are so great,” Louis breathed heavily between pants, dropping his body on top of her. 

“You really are,”  Harry said, crawling to the other side of the bed. “But it’s her turn, now.”

Louis rolled out the way, and Harry moved himself between her legs. She closed her eyes and mentally prepared for what he was about to do to her. He smiled at her core, and then back up into her eyes. Harry placed his mouth on her pussy, kissing it slowly a few times before pushing his tongue between her folds. His tongue danced across her center, and she gasped from the sudden waves of pleasure. It only took her thirty seconds before she shook and screamed as she reached her orgasm. “Oh god! Harry!” she yelled. She quickly tried to catch her breath after letting go into his mouth. Harry was still rubbing her slowly, helping her  slowly lean off her high as Louis pushed his lips against hers for a passionate kiss. They kissed each other over and over, before they all pulled off of one another.

They were all laying on the bed for a few minutes before Louis finally stood up and said something. “So, anybody hungry?” He asked, putting on his clothes that were in a pile in the corner of the room thanks to Harry a few hours ago.

Avery giggled and turned toward Harry. “I think I’ll need to give you my number,” she said.

“You busy tonight?” He asked, winking.

“No,” she said. “Am I invited over?”