So my little sister and my mom don’t talk, and they haven’t for years. My lil sis sent me a letter she was thinking of sending to mom and asked my opinion and i think i was too honest 😞 and now i feel like i pushed her away not only from me but also farther from reconciling with my mom. Idk. Like it was literally just mean! And i know she feels all of those things and she has every right to. But i just don’t think saying all of it after almost 5 years of no contact especially in a letter is productive. I’m trying to be better about being honest with people i love instead of people pleasing but idk. I said a few times that my advice might not be what’s best for her and she could totally ignore it and i’d support whatever she decides to do, and i apologized too, but she never responded. Family is hard. I’m tired of this grandpa

I saw the new surgeon, she agreed that endo is most likely present so i’m scheduling an excision surgery for this summer 🙏 i’ll just have to schedule it around work and i’ll be set! She was very kind and was engaging with me in a way that made me feel like she really heard me which was so refreshing. Here’s hoping i get some relief after surgery!!!

I still have to see the surgeon for my follow up, but i got the MRI results back and they suggest deep infiltrating endometriosis in my uterus. Which is super validating bc i KNEW it was endo the whole damn time. At least now next steps are pretty clear as surgery is really the only direction we can go. It’s so strange feeling relieved when you find out something is wrong with you, but the not knowing is so much worse. I’m a little nervous bc last time the endo was superficial (at least what was seen, there was no MRI done last time…) so i don’t know if the surgery or recovery will be different, but i imagine it will be since DIE is more complex. I won’t know more for another week and a half so i’m trying not to dr. Google myself into panic lol. But i’m on my way to relief and that’s what’s important!!

MRI was fine, much less scary than i thought it was going to be… though i did take some anxiety meds beforehand so that probably helped lol. The specialist did an exam yesterday and poked around a little bit, and her opinion is that whatever my issue is, it’s likely not muscular and that trigger point injections won’t be helpful. She poked at the muscles she’d typically inject and it was like meh 🤷🏼‍♀️ and then she poked at my uterus and it was like YEOWCH so yeah it’s looking like it’s probably endo. Which is exactly what i said from the beginning bc i know my body BUT ANYWAY— the surgeon i saw previously has left the practice so i’ll be seeing someone else, and i think it might be good to get some fresh eyes on the whole situation. I won’t know anything about the MRI until my followup appointment in a few weeks but we’ve made some progress.