#lottiematthews

this was so fun to make hehehf I love them so muchhhh I liyerally refuse to believe laura lee died she did NOT!!! I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT !!!!!!!!!

the reference btwww :3 vvv

her smug ass smile augh I love her

ੈ✩‧₊˚ Nat isn’t quite sure how to deal with the cold, and when her favourite comfort isn’t available to her she feels younger than normal, Lottie has to figure out how to distract her from that fact and warm her up.

{ notes- this is my very first time writing a oneshot so i hope you enjoy it !! this is also a gift for @cryingatwindermerepeaks thank you for all your contributions towards the yellowjackets agere tag !! includes cg!lottie, regressor!nat, use of pacifiers, mentions of nats trauma relating to the cold.}

word count- 1.4k

“There you are.” Lottie’s voice manages to squeeze itself into the tiny space between the coatrack and the shelf where they keep the outdoor shoes. When Nat moves the arm of her fur coat, she can spot the light pink fabric of Lottie’s pyjama bottoms creasing as she kneels in front of her hiding spot.

The weather had been getting colder again, windows frosted over when they woke in the early mornings, and cardigans worn over their sleep shirts. Nat had never minded the winter before the crash- the cold was merely an inconvenience due to the trailer not being able to keep out the cold- but in Lottie’s house, the warmth from the heaters kept you feeling safe until you had to leave.

Things had been piling up over the past week, Nat had tripped on a walk- earning her a scraped knee and cold palms, Lottie had to leave and go out of town for three days which left her to return to her Mother’s trailer with her tail between her legs- even if she had been told she was welcomed in the Matthew’s home whilst Lottie was away, she had been too nervous to stay on her own in that big house.

Then the worst thing had happened: Nat had dropped Rusty the raccoon into the sink while trying to help by washing the dishes. Lottie wasn’t mad at her; she never was, but she had insisted that Rusty needed to get a wash before Nat could play with him again. That was fine, she had managed to convince herself, she could hold out on regressing until she got her stuffie back safe and sound- at least she thought so until one of the butlers had left the back door open and had chilled the entire house.

Lottie had known about Nat having to brace the cold every day during that first winter with Travis, and then when the second rolled around, she had been the one to climb the snowy mountain all on her own. She knew Nat struggled with the cold; usually on her bad days, she would stay curled up in her bed with Rusty in one arm and a hot water bottle in the other. But this time, Rusty wasn’t anywhere to be found.

“Can you scoot yourself out a little, please?” Nat couldn’t think of anything worse, her cheeks felt warm from the array of coats and jackets surrounding her, and she could smell Lottie’s perfume on the more furry coats. “Just so I can see your smiley face, bug.”

“S’ cold.” Lottie can hear the frown through her words, she’s quiet in a way that would tell Lottie that she had regressed if she hadn’t been able to tell by her hiding away in the mudroom. “Don’t want to go outside.”

“I know, baby.” Lottie tries to reason with her- it’s not the usual approach she would have to take, when Natalie regressed she never had to be bribed or bargained with, she always strived to please. “You don’t have to go outside, I promise, nobody’s going out there. It’s getting warmer now, but you’ve been hiding away for so long in there, I doubt you can feel it.”

Nat must shuffle, or adjust her arms, because Lottie now has a full view of her, sitting curled up with her knees to her chest, her thumb switching between getting chewed on and slipping into her mouth. Her heart breaks a little bit seeing just how small she looks- Nat rarely regresses this young, and it always strikes Lottie just how tiny she can look.

“‘M sorry.” Nat’s lip begins to wobble in a way that makes Lottie want to swaddle her up in countless layers of blankets and never let her go ever again. She sounds exhausted and scared more than anything else. “I’m just really cold.”

“You don’t have to be, everything’s alright, I promise you.” She sticks her arms into the midst of hanging clothes, letting Nat grab at her warm hand and rub it against her cheek like she does with the ear of her raccoon- though this only seems to refresh her memory.

“But-“ Nat shakes her head just before she begins to shuffle herself out, finally looking up at her caregiver with big, teary eyes. “But Rusty’s gone, can’t find him.”

“Oh baby, he’s in the dryer, remember?”

“All alone?” That thought alone seems to panic her, a whine escapes her pitifully as she releases Lottie’s hand to rub at the few tears that have fallen at the realisation she’s left her best friend all alone in the scary dryer.

“He won’t be in there for long.” She feels stuck; she needs Nat to come out from her hiding space without causing her more panic, but her stuffie’s only just been put into the dryer and will still be another fifteen minutes. “How about we go and check on Rusty? And if he isn’t quite dry enough, then Mama can do her magic trick to get him all warm and ready for you?”

Nat blinks at her for a moment, the mix of reassurances and Lottie referring to herself as ‘Mama’ clearly had thrown her into a deeper headspace than normal. But before Lottie can backtrack, Nat gives a nervous nod before beginning to shuffle towards her whilst taking her still extended hand.

“Good job, Sweetheart.” She sighs out, and once Nat manages to squeeze her way fully out, Lottie has no issues pulling Nat into her arms once she’s standing, holding the regressed girl against her front.

Nat lets out a small whine at the cold air inside the mud room, burying her face in the warm silk of Lottie’s shoulder until she feels the warm air from the rest of the house and is sure they aren’t going anywhere near the outdoors.

The rest of the house has all warmed up, the fireplaces all lit and flooding the house with both warmth and the comforting smell which takes her back to the first winter in the cabin- luckily, the smell has never triggered Natalie at all. The laundry room is warm enough to rid the goosebumps on Natalie’s skin, and she gives a contented sound into her Mama’s neck once the smell of cotton laundry powder fills her nose.

“Mama?”

Lottie hums back a reply, her hand rubbing her back in small circles as she sways on her feet. She huffs out a small laugh once she receives a small mumble into her neck. “Rusty?”

“Mama can do the trick if you like, but that means you have to get down so I can grab the hair dryer and get Rusty out.” She can hardly get her sentence out before Nat shakes her head, her hands coming up to grab at her shoulders. “Oh, I know, I know you wanna stay here, I've got you.”

It takes her a lot of effort, and a few close calls, but she manages to sit herself on the ground without dropping Nat, who hasn’t let her grip weaken since the idea of being put down escaped Lottie’s mouth. “Or we can just sit here and watch Rusty get all nice and warm from the dryer.”

Once she receives a small nod, and feels her baby's head turn to face the shaking machine which is holding her friend hostage. She leans back against a pile of towels before spotting Nat’s thumb tucked between her teeth.

“Hm, I think I see a thumb where it isn’t supposed to be.” She makes sure to keep her tone a playful one, poking a finger at Nat’s cheek until she gets a small smile. Lottie gently tugs on her hand until she releases her thumb, even if it earns her a pout. She reveals a pacifier from the pocket of her pyjama trousers, a dark blue one with glow-in-the-dark stars- a gift from Van, if she remembers correctly. She places a small kiss on Nat’s forehead as she timidly accepts the pacifier, so that she knows she isn’t looking at her whilst she gets used to it.

Lottie’s sure she’ll have a sore back later on, but she’ll take it if that means Natalie can settle until Rusty can be returned to her. She’s quick to fall into a dozy state, half awake as the soft thrumming of the dryer mixes with Lottie’s warm hand stroking her hair away from her face.

Hey guys,

Sorry for the delay, but as this chapter is likely the most important one of the story so far, I knew I had to take my time with it.

Anyway, read on! Don't let me keep you waiting! 😊 

  As Tommy handed the phone back to the SEAL in charge of his team, the officer asked him to take a seat.

  “Look, Tommy, man…”

  One of the benefits of being in such an elite unit was that everyone, officers and enlisted alike, were on a first-name basis with each other, but somehow Tommy didn’t think that would help him now.

  “I think I’m gonna need the whole story. Your wife said your son’s birth mother was ‘out of the loony bin’, but… I’m getting the feeling there’s a lot more to it than that. What… what exactly is going on?”

  Tommy took a deep breath, and began to explain. About the crash, the year spent in the wilderness… about everything.

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  Naturally, of course, the SEAL officer, who had come to the unit in the year after Tommy, was aware of the details behind what the man sitting in front of him had gone through, before he made the decision to become a Frogman.

  He himself had been enrolled in his final year at the Naval Academy at the time of Tommy’s trial, on the verge of applying to BUD/S himself, so it was to his great surprise that he had found himself coming face-to-face with Tommy after making it through selection, completely taken aback that someone who had joined the Navy after him made it to their unit a year before he did.

  Truth be told, the officer greatly admired Tommy. Many SEALs did. Though he doubted Tommy knew this, the officer was aware that their superiors had their eyes on Tommy, and were on the verge of offering him the chance to apply for the rank of Chief, which after a mere eight years in the Navy, let alone the SEAL Teams, was practically unheard of.

  Despite this, it was to the officer’s shock when Tommy told him that Charlotte Matthews, the biological mother of his elder son, had assaulted him, then been bundled off to a mental institution more or less immediately after the boy had been born.

  “So… now Charlotte is out?”

  “Yes, and she’s moving to Virginia. Her parents as well, from what Natalie told me. I… I’m worried, sir. Lottie’s- Charlotte’s parents are rich. Her father was on Wall Street, I don’t… I don’t know the full details, but I think they might be trying to sue for custody.”

  He saw Tommy take a breath. “She’s schizophrenic, sir. She ran out of her medication shortly after the plane crashed, and… it was all downhill from there. None of us knew she was mentally ill, they… some of the other survivors thought she was some kind of prophet or something while we were there.”

  “What did they think when the truth came out?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know. I never asked them… I’m not even sure they do know. My family only knows because of Jacob.”

  A pained expression crossed Tommy’s face as he mentioned his son’s name, and the officer made his decision as to what he should do about his subordinate’s situation.

  It was a hard thing, what they did for a living, and it required hard men. Tommy was on his fourth deployment with the unit, his sixth overall as a SEAL, and the officer did not want to be held responsible for allowing any potential custody issues to get in the way of a good operator doing his job.

  “I’ll tell you what. We’ve only got, what… three weeks or so left in this deployment? How about we send you home early, and you try to figure things out with Charlotte? I know it’s not much time, but… see what you can do.”

  “I will, sir. Thank you.”

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  Despite the circumstances, Natalie was overjoyed to hear Tommy was coming home early, and she happily drove out to greet him at the airport, wrapping her arms around her husband and pressing a gentle, tender kiss to his lips.

  It had been more than ten years now since they walked out of the wilderness together, and Natalie still felt the butterflies in her stomach every time she saw her Tommy.

  He loved her. She loved him. But there was no denying now that things were about to get very difficult indeed.

  “Whatever happens, we face it together”, Tommy promised her.

  “You and me?” Natalie asked him.

  “You and me”, Tommy replied, as their lips met once again.

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  Jacob knew that something had happened when his parents called a family meeting in their living room, the day after his dad got back from overseas.

  “Jacob’s birth mother is coming here”, his mom explained.

  Jacob blinked. “To… to visit?”

  “We’re not sure”, his dad explained. “But she wants to meet you, to… to get to know you.”

  She’s coming here?

  Jacob may have only been nine years old, but he wasn’t quite as ignorant to the situation as his family might think.

  His birth mother had been overseas since he was a baby. At first, Jacob had thought she had abandoned him, but his parents had reassured him that wasn’t the case at all.

  “Is she… working?” He had asked, shortly after he began writing letters to Charlotte Matthews.

  “No, no. She’s… she’s sick, Jacob. Very sick”, his father had told him.

  They had left it at that, and at first Jacob had thought his birth mother must have had a bad stomach bug, or something.

  But then, in the following two years, after keeping his ears open and his head down, Jacob had figured out the truth- some of it, at least.

  His mother was sick in the head. She couldn’t take care of him, so she had been sent away.

  So why is she coming back now? Jacob wondered.

  “Is she… coming to take me?” He asked his parents.

  “She’s gonna take Jacob?!” Katie screamed, and the room fell into an overwhelming amount of crying and screaming, as all four of the Scott children suddenly dissolved into tears.

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  “No, no”, Tommy soothed his wailing progeny, as he saw their faces crumbling.

  “Jacob’s home is here, okay? Nobody is going anywhere.”

  “You… p-promise?” Jacob hiccupped.

  “I promise”, Tommy said, holding his pinky finger out to his son, which Jacob grasped at, smiling through his tears.

  The pinky promise was very popular amongst Tommy’s children, so it was no surprise when the other three came over to hold out their little fingers as well.

  “I promise you guys. Jacob is going nowhere.”

  Tommy had truly loved being a SEAL the past few years, but now… this new situation was making him think.

  If push comes to shove, I may have to leave the Navy behind over this.

  I am not losing my son. Whatever it takes.

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  As the baby of the family, Liam was used to being overlooked, so he was surprised when his mom came into the room he was sharing with Jacob that night to ask him how he was doing.

  “Uh… I’m okay, Mommy”, he said, and he was surprised to see the tears in his mother’s eyes as she hugged him close to her.

  “Mommy?”

  “Yes, sweetheart?”

  “Jacob’s not really going away, is he?”

  “No. No, honey, no. Your brother’s not going anywhere, I promise. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

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  After kissing her youngest goodnight, Natalie visited the girls’ room, where she was surprised to see both of them standing at the door with their arms crossed.

  It was extremely adorable, the way Katie and Maggie stood together, but Natalie didn’t feel like this was a good time to laugh.

  “Jacob’s not going anywhere”, Katie said.

  “No, he’s not”, Maggie backed her sister up, squinting in anger.

  “No, he’s not, girls”, Natalie assured her daughters. “I promise. Okay? Lott- his birth mother is just coming here to check on him. That’s all, okay?”

  “Good. Because we’re running away if she takes him.”

  Maggie sounded so determined, Natalie could believe she was serious. Even Katie, who was staring at her sister in surprise.

  Natalie assured the girls once more that Jacob was not leaving them, and left to go to the living room, where Tommy and Jacob sat together, watching television, as Jacob pressed up close against his father.

  If only Lottie could see this, Natalie wondered.

  If only she knew how much damage she is about to do. 

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  Lottie nervously gripped the teddy bear close to her chest as she walked up the steps of the Scott home.

  “It’ll be alright, Charlotte”, her mother assured her. “We’re just going to say hello, that’s all.”

  Lottie rang the doorbell, and instantly heard a cacophony of voices sounding out behind it, which sounded like- aggie, noillgetit?

  What? Lottie thought, as the door opened, and Lottie found herself looking down at a brown-haired, blue-eyed little girl who could only be Natalie’s daughter.

  “Er…” Lottie started. “Hi, I’m-”

  “I know who you are”, the girl, who barely came up to Lottie’s waist, snapped at her, as Lottie saw her eyes squint in annoyance.

  “And you aren’t taking my brother. Not now. Not ever.” 

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  “Maggie, for god’s sake”, Tommy groaned, hurriedly picking his daughter up off the floor.

  “Well, they’re not-”

  “I know, sweetie, I know”, he assured her, switching Maggie to his left arm as he balanced her on his hip.

  At seven years old, Maggie was getting a bit big for this kind of thing, but she was most definitely her mother’s daughter, and Tommy wouldn’t put it past her to try something they might regret.

  Maggie had started playing soccer at school the previous year, and had already developed a reputation as a highly aggressive winger, the same as Natalie had been.

  When he had returned from Afghanistan, Natalie had told Tommy how in the last few months alone, she had lost count of the number of times she had seen Maggie throw herself into any kind of attack that came her way, and never complain about any kind of bumps or scrapes she had picked up.

  Tommy knew Natalie was far too proud of their daughter’s efforts to criticise her, but somehow this didn’t feel like the right time and place to show Lottie just how hard Maggie could kick.

  With that, Tommy shifted his gaze from Maggie’s defiant glare to Lottie, who he could see was clutching a teddy bear in her arms.

  It looked a bit old. One of Lottie’s childhood toys, maybe?

  “Uh…” Lottie began, and Tommy realised she was waiting for an invitation.

  “Oh, right. Come in, please.”

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  Katie may have been only nine years old, but even she couldn’t mistake the tension in the room, as she sat next to Jacob on one of the couches.

  Everyone was here. Her parents, her siblings… even her grandparents.

  Her Grandma from Wiskayok was here as well, and Katie could see she was looking at their new visitors with the same expression Maggie was currently wearing.

  “Uh… maybe we should start with introducing ourselves”, her daddy said, and Katie realised he was looking at her.

  She cleared her throat. “I’m Katie. I’m nine.”

  “I’m Jacob. I’m nine too”, Jacob offered. Maggie and Liam introduced themselves as well, with Maggie still squinting menacingly at their guests, but Katie could tell the dark-haired lady seated across from them hadn’t heard her siblings speak.

  Charlotte had not taken her eyes off of Jacob from the moment she had seen him, and if Katie didn’t know any better, she could swear she looked almost… hungry?

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  My God, he’s so beautiful. 

  Jacob looked just like Tommy, save for his eyes, of course, which were the mirrored image of her own.

  Though she had seen pictures of Jacob before, of course, it was nothing compared to having him be in front of her, in the flesh, for the first time since he had been four days old.

  Nine years ago. Has it really been that long? 

  Belatedly, Lottie remembered she was still holding Simon, the teddy bear she had had since she was little, and nervously held him out towards her son.

  “Er… hi”, she said to the children gathered in front of her. “This is Simon. He’s… he’s been my friend since I was younger than you. He’s… he’s for you.”

  She saw Jacob hesitate, then walk forward to take Simon from her.

  “Uh…”

  “What do we say, Jacob?” Natalie prompted him.

  “Thank you. I like it”, Jacob said, with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Shortly after that, Tommy’s mother led the children away into the hall, and Lottie felt the temperature in the room begin to drop a few degrees, as the Scotts and Scatorccios gazed at her and her family.  

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  “So, Lottie… what exactly is the plan, here?” Natalie asked her former teammate. “Because the children seem under the impression that you are here to take Jacob away from us.”

  “No. No”, Lottie said. “Nothing like that. Besides… his siblings seem rather protective of him. I don’t think I would survive anything like that.”

  She gave them a smile, but Natalie only scowled back at her.

  You have no idea how right you are.

  “Look”, Lottie’s father cleared his throat. “We only want what is best for Jacob-”

  “What’s best for Jacob is that he is raised with his family”, Natalie’s mom suddenly spoke up for the first time.

  Truth be told, Vera Scatorccio had not laid off the booze and cigarettes in the decade since the rescue, and looked much, much older than she really was, but Natalie knew her mother loved her grandchildren dearly.

  Especially Maggie. Vera had journeyed to Virginia just in time to see her granddaughter’s last soccer game, and had burst out laughing every time Maggie broke a tackle or barnstormed right through the opposition.

  “There it is! There’s the Scatorccio in her!” Natalie’s mother had cried out, and Natalie had had to bite her tongue to stop herself from laughing as well.

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  As Vera gazed at the Matthews family, she noticed the expressions Malcolm and Emilia were wearing on their faces as they gazed at her.

  Well, gazed down at her would probably be more accurate, but Vera didn’t care. They had left her poor daughter to raise their grandchild practically by herself as her husband went off to war over and over again, so what the upper-class twats though of her appearance was very low on her list of priorities.

  “Jacob has grown up in this family. He doesn’t remember a time when Natalie was not his mother, or when he didn’t have three siblings who grew up in the same house as him. Separating him from them could cause all kinds of behavioural issues for him down the line.”

  Just like your daughter, Vera thought, but didn’t add.

  “Yes, we know that”, Emilia Matthews replied to her. “We… we just want to play a part in how Jacob is raised, that’s all.”

  “Are you joking?” Vera heard Jonathan Scott say, as he glared at the Matthews family. “The last time we had this conversation, you said it would be best if Jacob was raised in our family, not yours. That was ten years ago. Why the sudden change of heart?”

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  “Because I’ve changed”, Lottie spoke up, and she gazed at Tommy, trying her best not to cry.

  “I’m… I’m sorry, Tommy. Really, I am. I was… I was unwell, when I did… what I did to you.”

  She saw Tommy flinch, as Natalie’s face darkened beside him.

  Lottie could still hear the whack of the rifle Nat had swung colliding with her head, and as she gazed at her fellow Yellowjacket, Lottie felt a surge of guilt.

  Natalie looked like she was deciding whether to cry, or punch her in the face as hard as she could.

  Lottie couldn’t blame her for that. No doubt Natalie saw her as the villain in her story for what Lottie had done, and Tommy was most likely of the same opinion. But Lottie had come all this way, and she was not leaving without saying what needed to be said.

  “I’ve… I’ve worked hard to move on from what happened to us. I’m going to therapy, I’m taking my medications, I’m… I’m trying, okay? I’m trying to be better than I was, because… because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in an institution while my son grows up without me. I want to get to know him before… before he finds out the truth behind how he was conceived.”

  Then another thought occurred to Lottie, and she became very worried indeed.

  “He doesn’t know that yet… does he?”

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  Tommy looked at Lottie, while she was saying all this. As in, really looked at her.

  He didn’t have any idea what it was like to be schizophrenic. He had no idea what had been going through Lottie’s mind to make it seem as though the wilderness had been a conscious thing, convincing her that she had to conceive a child with him by any means necessary.

  Make no mistake, what she had done to him still haunted the back of Tommy’s mind from time to time. But looking at her now… it really did seem as though she had changed. Maybe… maybe it might be for the best.

  “No, Lottie, he doesn’t know”, Tommy said, softly. “We are planning on telling him everything when he turns twelve years old. It might be a bit young, but… we would rather it be us than someone else.”

  He gazed at the mother of his son. “We cannot have you try to gain custody of him, though. We don’t want him to feel like he has to grow up away from his siblings.”

  Tommy took a breath. “We can make do with supervised visits for now, then… see how things go from there.”

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  Natalie had held her tongue throughout the entire exchange, as she feared that once she started to talk… she would be unable to stop.

  That is, she would be unable to stop screaming and crying about what Lottie had done, about how Natalie didn’t care what kind of mental disorder she had, nothing could possibly make up for what Lottie had put Natalie and her husband through in their time out in the wilderness.

  Once Lottie and her parents had made their goodbyes, she rounded on her husband.

  “This is a bad idea. Very, very bad”, she hissed at him.

  “We don’t know what she’s going to do. We don’t know what kind of ideas she’s going to put in his head about what happened out there, or about… about what she believes in.”

  “I know”, Tommy said, gently. “But… honey, this is about what’s best for Jacob. He’s going to be put through hell once he finds out how he was conceived. Maybe it really is for the best if he gets to know Lottie a little bit first.”

  Natalie saw her husband hesitate, before he spoke again.

  “And maybe it would be best for us, too. Maybe… maybe it could help us move on from what happened out there.”

  Natalie felt so conflicted, it was as though her heart was tearing in two.

  On the one hand, she wanted her son- her son- to know that he was loved, that he was so, so loved. She wanted to at least try and get along with Lottie, for Jacob’s sake.

  On the other… Natalie’s instincts were screaming at her to somehow, by any means necessary, get Lottie and her scheming, conniving parents as far away from Natalie’s family as it was humanly possible for them to be.

  Oh, God. Natalie thought. She felt like crying again.

  Why does this have to be so hard? 

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  Jacob wasn’t sure what to think. His Grandma had taken him and his siblings out for ice cream, and as he slowly licked his way through the chocolate in his waffle cone, he wondered how things were going to go from now on.

  The teddy bear had been discarded in his room, of course. How old did Charlotte think he was? Six?

  As Jacob gazed at his six-year-old brother, who was currently having the mango sorbet on his face wiped off by their Grandma, he felt vindicated, somehow.

  Yes, Liam probably would like the teddy bear better, and it was for that reason that Jacob gave it to him after they got home.

  “Are you sure?” Liam stared at him. “It was for you.”

  “Yes, just- just take it”, Jacob said, thrusting the bear at his little brother, watching Liam’s hazel eyes widen in surprise.

  Like Katie, Liam had inherited their dad’s eyes, and somehow, in that moment, Jacob hated him for that.

  I hate having brown eyes, Jacob thought, as he lay down in bed that night.

  Why does that lady have to be my mother? She doesn’t even KNOW me. 

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  Natalie had never paid much attention to the Cold War when she was little, but now she could imagine it had been something like what happened next with Lottie and her family.

  With Lottie’s history in a mental institution, and her parents’ nine-year absence from Jacob’s life, without so much as a birthday card, Natalie knew there was next to no hope of them even getting partial custody of him.

  That didn’t make her any less nervous whenever she saw a member of the Matthews family. They had moved into a house no more than a few hundred metres from where Natalie’s family lived, and the day rarely passed when she didn’t see one or more of them at a distance, hovering like the vultures they were.

  Tommy had returned to work, preparing for his upcoming deployment in March next year.

  Clearly, he had informed his superiors of the situation, because Natalie had seen a couple of very serious-looking men in Navy uniforms entering the Matthews’ new home.

  According to Tommy, they had had all three Matthews’ sign documents confirming that they would never discuss the true nature of Tommy’s profession without his permission, for which Natalie was grateful, though she would have preferred it if the Navy had taken things just a tad further, and expelled the Matthews family from the state of Virginia altogether.

  It was to Natalie’s further displeasure that Lottie asked if she could accompany her one day to Maggie’s last soccer game of the season, in October of 2007.

  “Why?”

  “Well, I want to meet your other children, of course. Properly, I mean. They are Jacob’s siblings; I should get to know them as well.”

  The thought of Lottie Matthews coming anywhere near any of her children made Natalie feel sick to her stomach, but she couldn’t think of a proper reason to say no.

  As Natalie watched Maggie from the sidelines, that cold day in autumn, she found herself once again admiring her daughter’s strength.

  Really, the way Maggie actively fought the opposition was admirable. The way she launched herself into tackles, the way she pushed past everyone else, the way she-

  “You do know she can’t see them, right?”

  Natalie was jerked out of her thoughts as she gazed at Lottie, standing beside her.

  “Uh… what?”

  Lottie stared at her. “Maggie. Your daughter. She can’t see properly; that’s why she keeps bumping into everyone. That’s why she’s squinting all the time.”

  Oh, don’t be ridiculous-

  Then as Natalie was about to speak the words, Maggie collided with one of her own teammates, and as both girls fell back onto the pitch, clutching their heads and crying, Natalie finally realised what her little girl had been hiding from her.

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  Tommy had been surprised when Natalie called him to tell him what had happened, but he had to admit, it made sense, given how much Maggie had been squinting at everything recently.

  “I can’t believe we missed it”, Natalie said to him, and Tommy could tell through the phone just how upset his wife was.

  “We’ve known Maggie since she was born. How- how could Lottie have spotted it so quickly, I don’t understand-”

  “Honey”, Tommy said, as gently as he could. “We have four children to take care of, not one. It’s no surprise we missed this. Okay? It’s not your fault.”

  He could still hear Natalie sniffling through the phone.

  “Okay”, he heard her choke out.

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  The appointment with the optometrist confirmed it- Maggie could barely see past the end of her own nose.

  Poor little thing, Natalie thought, watching as her daughter was fitted for glasses that made her eyes seem at least as half as big as they were.

  When they walked out of the doctor’s office, Natalie could tell that Maggie was upset, so she quickly knelt down and gave her younger daughter a cuddle.

  “It’s okay, sweetie”, she said. “It won’t be so bad. All you have to do is wear glasses. Alright? They’re just glasses, they’re not that bad.”

  “Okay”, Maggie mumbled, as she looked down at the ground, while Natalie drew her into another hug.

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  Fortunately, Tommy had Christmas day off from work, so he was allowed to spend it with his family.

  As he watched his kids digging through their presents like hungry gophers, Tommy felt Natalie press up against him on the couch.

  “Don’t forget about us when you go”, she whispered to him.

  “Never”, Tommy replied, as he kissed his wife, ignoring the cries of “eww”, the children were sending their way.

  Against Tommy’s better judgement, the Matthews family were coming over for Christmas lunch.

  Lottie had promised both of them that she would behave, but Tommy was still nervous about it, and he knew Natalie was as well.

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  It was as Natalie and Tommy went to clear the plates in advance of dessert that Lottie accompanied them into the kitchen, much to Natalie’s surprise.

  “Look, I know now’s not the right time, of course, but… when are we going to tell him? About… about what happened to us out there?”

  Natalie stared at Lottie. “When he’s twelve. Remember?”

  “Well, yeah, but… we don’t have to tell him everything, right? About… about Jackie? Mari?”

  “We have to tell him, Lottie”, Natalie heard Tommy say, softly but firmly. “If it isn’t us, it’s gonna be someone else.”

  Lottie looked aggrieved, but Natalie knew the decision was final, and she agreed with it.

  She wasn’t much looking forward to telling Jacob or any of her children what had happened to them… but it would have to be done, sooner rather than later.

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  After that, they settled into a kind of rhythm.

  Tommy left on his deployment in March of 2008, and for the next few months, in between missions, he and Natalie would talk, either through Skype or the phone, about what was going on at home.

  Lottie was accompanying Jacob to all of his baseball games, eagerly cheering him on from the benches with every appearance of enthusiasm. On top of this, she would often visit their house to help out with making dinner as well, though she was never alone with the children, of course.

  Though Tommy didn’t want to jinx it, he thought things might be looking up.

  Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all, when Jacob found out the true circumstances of his birth.

  After all, it was still a couple of years away. No need to worry yet.

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  Natalie still didn’t trust Lottie. It pained her to say it, but she didn’t.

  As Tommy returned from his deployment, and almost immediately started prepping for the next one, Natalie couldn’t help but feel as though Tommy had taken his eye off the ball, and she made sure to pull him aside the next time they were together.

  “I don’t trust her”, she whispered to him, so the children wouldn’t overhear. “Have you forgotten what she did out there? To us, to… to everyone? Have you forgotten that she tried to kill me-”

  “Of course not. And I don’t trust her either, but… come on. We need to get along with her, at least, for Jacob’s sake.”

  Natalie tried to move past what Lottie had done. She really, truly did.

  But none of it changed the fact that, if Lottie had had her way out there in the wilderness, Natalie would have been chopped into little pieces and eaten by her own teammates.

  Kind of hard to move past, if one was being honest, considering how Lottie was now walking around as free as a bird.

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  After a quiet word from Tommy, by the next time Lottie visited the Scott home, she had prepared an official apology for Natalie in her head.

  As they sat apart from each other, Lottie cleared her throat.

  “Look, I… I realise that we never really talked about it, so here goes.”

  She paused for a moment. “I was wrong. Okay? I was wrong about… everything out there. I… I was out of my mind, and I thought it- the wilderness- was alive, that it was… that it was ordering me to have a child with Tommy, no matter what it took.”

  She gazed at Natalie. “Nat, I… I am so sorry. I’m sorry for chasing after you, I’m sorry for convincing the others that eating you was the only way for us to survive, and I… I am so, so sorry for what I did to Tommy. I don’t… I don’t blame you for hating me. God knows I hate myself for it, but… I want to leave it in the past, where it belongs, so I can have some kind of future with my son.”

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  He’s. Not. Your. SON, Natalie felt like bellowing at Lottie.

  And I don’t fucking forgive you for what you did to us. Not now. Not ever. 

  Knowing that Jacob would be affected by it was the only thing that caused her to choke out a reply.

  “I’m not saying I forgive you, but… I want to move forward, too. For my family’s sake, if nothing else.”

  Lottie looked happy enough with that, but Natalie still felt pained by it.

  Why couldn’t Lottie just go away? Why did she have to stay where she wasn’t wanted?

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  The year 2009 was a tumultuous one for Tommy.

  After re-enlisting for another four years of military service, and taking part in a rescue operation that made the news, he had almost immediately set off again on another deployment to Afghanistan, then come back, and prepared for the next one, which was to begin in December.

  Though Tommy was unhappy about missing Christmas with his family, there was one piece of good news that reached the Scotts in October.

  Travis had finally passed selection for the famous Air Force Pararescue Jumpers, and been awarded their coveted maroon beret. Javi, who had made the rank of Staff Sergeant within the 75th Ranger Regiment, had been able to attend his brother’s graduation ceremony, and a picture of the Martinez boys in their uniforms alongside their mother was mailed to the Scott family shortly before Tommy left for Afghanistan again.

  As Tommy would return from this deployment shortly before Jacob’s twelfth birthday, the timing couldn’t have been more perfect, so as far as he was concerned, everything was on track for his family.

  Before re-enlisting, he and Natalie had talked things over, and decided that, with Lottie being a part of their lives now, there was only so much Natalie could do by herself on the homefront. As a result, this re-enlistment would be Tommy’s last, and he would officially leave the Navy behind in early 2013 to focus on his family.

  Though it was a gut-wrench to know his service with the Navy would end within the next few years, Tommy knew he had accomplished what he set out to. After all, the previous year he had officially made the rank of Chief in the Navy, and was a team leader in his squadron. The kids had been promised a trip to Disneyland in Florida when he got back, and Natalie… well, they were still an awesome team. Tommy knew he had her support, and that after all they had been through together, they still loved each other with the same fiery passion as when they were teenagers.

  Really, things couldn’t have been better for the Scotts.

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  Things could not have been worse for Lottie, as Tommy headed off again on his next deployment.

  Time had slipped through her fingers like sand. Soon it would be Jacob’s twelfth birthday. Which meant that soon… Tommy and Natalie would tell him everything.

  And soon he will hate me, for merely existing the way he does.

  If someone were to ask Lottie whether she hated Jacob’s existence, the only answer she would give them was a resounding “no”.

  How could she regret it? Jacob was the best thing in her life.

  Sure, he still called Natalie “Mommy”, not her, but Lottie had decided she could live with that.

  What she couldn’t live with, though, was the mere idea of Jacob hating her.

  She had made the cake for his eleventh birthday, something she had always wanted to do, and the look on Jacob’s face when he saw it had made Lottie cry with happiness.

  And that wasn’t all- even Natalie was starting to trust her now, to the extent where she was allowing Lottie to pick her children up from school every now and then, not just Jacob, and Lottie had found herself actually starting to like the little bunch of rugrats, much to her surprise.

  Katie had Natalie’s determination, but Tommy’s politeness, and Lottie was genuinely impressed by how well-mannered she was to everyone. Maggie was the same firebrand Natalie had always been, despite having to wear glasses now, and Lottie had privately thought Natalie’s younger daughter might even become a boxer when she grew up. Liam was a quiet boy, the same as Tommy had been, but very sweet as well, and Lottie did not doubt he would charm the hearts of many girls his age when he entered high school.

  But none of that compared to what Lottie felt every time she looked at Jacob, her kind, sensitive boy, with the eyes that mirrored her own. He had started to warm to her over the past year or so. Lottie could tell.

  All of that will be taken away. They… they will take HIM away.

  And in that moment, Lottie knew what she had to do.

  It wouldn’t be pretty, but… no, she couldn’t risk it.

  I can’t have him finding out what I did. I… I CAN’T. 

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  The trip to Disneyland was a great success when Katie’s dad returned from Afghanistan in early March of 2010, missing Katie’s twelfth birthday by only one week, though that didn’t make it any easier for her to bear.

  Katie knew her dad loved her and her siblings. She knew that his job was important.

  But when he emerged from the tarmac at the airport, Katie wrapped her arms around her daddy and couldn’t stop herself from bursting into tears.

  “I missed you”, she choked out through her sobs.

  “I know. I know, sweetheart. I’m so sorry”, her daddy whispered to her.

  The jewellery-making kit he had bought Katie helped to soften the blow, somewhat, and when they travelled to Disneyland for the long weekend a few days later, Katie refused to leave her daddy’s side, terrified that he might disappear again.

  Not that she would ever admit she was scared. Only babies got scared, and she wasn’t a baby anymore, Katie would tell herself.

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  As Natalie watched her husband and daughter walking around Disneyland together, Tommy wearing the blue mermaid-and-butterfly bracelet that Katie had already made for him, she felt her heart twinge.

  It would only be three more years until Tommy left the Navy, and then they would be free to live their lives together with their children.

  Natalie didn’t really care what kind of life they actually lived together, just so long as it was a quiet one. After all they had been through, she’d had just about all she could take of Tommy putting himself through dangerous situations.

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  Lottie had wrestled with the decision she was making, but she knew, ultimately, that she had no choice.

  Jacob would never trust her once he learned what she had done to his father, so… she would make sure he never learned.

  It may be terrible… but he would see it was for the best, in the end.

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  After they got back from Florida, Tommy quickly resumed his training cycle. He would do one more deployment in November, and then, according to his superiors, once he returned from Afghanistan in April of 2011, he was to help out with his unit's ongoing selection course for the rest of the year, after which he would become a full-time instructor for the next course, beginning in early 2012. 

  Tommy was happy enough with this, and he knew Natalie was as well, as essentially it meant this next deployment would be his last before he retired from the Navy. 

  It would also mean much more time at home, and give Tommy more time in turn to work on the bachelor's degree in business he had made a start on.

  Though he didn’t want to jinx it… Tommy thought the end was in sight for his family.

  Things were looking up.

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  As Jacob left baseball practice for the day, he was surprised to see his birth mother waiting by her parents’ white BMW.

  It wasn’t the first time she had driven him home, but he’d thought his mom was going to be the one to pick him up.

  “Hi”, Charlotte greeted him. “Sorry, Natalie’s having car trouble, and I was in the area, so she asked me to come get you.”

  “Okay”, Jacob shrugged, throwing his bag in the front seat, where he was surprised once again to find Charlotte offering him a bag with two doughnuts inside, and a milkshake as well.

  “It’s alright, I bought them for you. Don’t tell Natalie, okay?” Charlotte winked at him, as Jacob smiled back.

  His mom never let him have sugar on school days, so he hungrily devoured both doughnuts.

  What a special day this was turning out to be, Jacob thought.

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  Natalie couldn’t understand it. The minivan she drove had been bought less than a year before, and it had given them absolutely no trouble until then.

  Tommy had taken the other car to work, so she had called Helen and asked if she could pick Jacob up from baseball while the mechanic Natalie had called poked around her car’s engine, trying to find out why it wouldn’t start.

  “Was this car in an accident, or something?” The mechanic asked, just as Natalie’s phone started to ring.

  “Er, no, hang on-” Natalie said, as she answered the call, seeing it was from Helen.

  “Did you ask Charlotte to pick Jacob up?” She heard Helen ask.

  “No, why?”

  “I just spoke to Jacob’s coach. He says he saw Charlotte driving away with Jacob.”

  “W-what?”, Natalie asked, just as the mechanic directed her towards the engine, which looked like-

  Hang on a second. Natalie was no mechanic, of course, but she could swear an engine wasn’t supposed to look like it had had all its wires ripped right out of where they were supposed to go, and a very cold feeling began to settle in the pit of Natalie’s stomach, as she called Lottie’s number, which went straight to voicemail.

  She already suspected what had happened, of course, but it wasn’t until she called Lottie’s mother, who said all of her Valium had gone missing earlier that day, that the final piece of the puzzle clicked into place, and Natalie began to dial 911.

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  Lottie watched as the Valium took effect on her son, and Jacob slumped over in his seat, snoring quietly.

  I’m sorry, my love, she thought. But I can’t have them take you away from me again. I can’t. 

  They’ll have to pry you from my cold, dead hands. 

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  Tommy was surprised when the vehicle drove up beside his team, ordering him back to base, but when he saw the look on his commanding officer’s face, he knew something had gone wrong.

  “What’s happened?”

  The officer directed him towards the television screen in their break room nearby, where a group of police cars were chasing after a small, white BMW.

  Huh. That looks like- oh.

  Tommy had a horrible feeling as to what had happened, but it wasn’t until his phone started ringing, with Natalie hysterically sobbing out what had happened on the other end, that Tommy felt like the world’s biggest fool.

  She knew we were going to tell him what happened out there. How could we have been so blind?

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  It had been supposed to go so smoothly. She was going to take her son to her parent’s holiday home in upstate New York. It was right by a magnificent lake, it was way off the backroad, so nobody could find it by accident… it was the perfect place for Lottie to raise her son.

  Lottie had been surprised by how quickly the police found her, but she had instantly known what would happen to her.

  She would go back to that horrible place, halfway around the world. She would never see Jacob again.

  No. NO. I will die before I let that happen, Lottie thought, as she came to a bend in the road, overlooking a cliff.

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  Jacob, of course, had been unconscious throughout the whole ordeal, so he was only vaguely aware of what had happened next.

  The car had rolled down a cliff, right into the water nearby.

  Fortunately, the cliff was no more than forty feet high, and the water barely a few inches off the sea floor.

  Charlotte had terribly misjudged her suicidal act, he overheard the police say to his mom, as the cameras from the press clicked and whirred around Jacob, while he was wheeled on a stretcher to the nearest hospital to recover from whatever it was Charlotte had put in him.

  She’s not coming back, Jacob realised, as he tried to breathe through the broken nose he had suffered. Part of him was sad about that, but the other… the other was just relieved.

  I want to live with my Mom. Natalie Scott, he thought, and he cried as he reached for his mother in the ambulance.

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  “I don’t want to live with Charlotte”, Natalie heard Jacob croak in the stretcher through his oxygen mask, as he reached for her.

  “You won’t”, Natalie said, as the tears poured down her cheeks, while she went to clasp Jacob’s bloodstained hand in both of her own.

  “You won’t, sweetheart. I promise”, she choked out, as she leaned down to press a tender kiss to Jacob’s forehead.

  And I will fucking kill her if she tries, Natalie vowed to herself.

  I promise you, Jacob. I promise you. 

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  “The plane crashed, a bunch of my friends died, and the rest of us starved and scavenged for thirteen months, until they found us”, Shauna summed up for Jessica, wondering how to put her on Tommy’s path.

  “Well, that’s not quite how it happened, is it?” Jessica asked her. “Thomas Scott hiked, what was it- forty miles? Fifty? Whichever it was to bring you guys home?”

  Sometimes problems solve themselves, Shauna thought, as she saw her opening.

  “Then why don’t you ask Tommy yourself? Sounds like he’s the hero of whatever story you’re planning on cooking up.”

  “I would if I could find him. Seems that he’s… dropped off the radar, somehow.”

  Shauna blinked. Did this lady really not know where Tommy was?

  “Tommy’s here”, Shauna said to the nosy journalist. “He lives in Wiskayok. He’s been here since before the pandemic. Did you… I’m sorry, I thought you knew? He runs the gun shop his dad used to run when we were kids.”

  Shauna saw the other woman’s eyes light up, and Jessica turned to go, much to Shauna’s satisfaction.

  Let’s see how Tommy likes having the press knocking on his doorstep.

  Lord knows it’s less than he deserves, after the path he put MY son on.

And there you have it. Now you know all about the 'stunt' Lottie pulled.

It really is a tragedy that, at the end of the day, our fear and paranoia can end up doing much more damage in a certain situation than it would otherwise.

Hope you like what I have written. Next chapter coming soon ♥️