🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?
connor would like to convince himself that he’s fearless - as brave as everyone needs him to be, as stoic as they’ve painted him. and yet, he’s never been good at lying about what frightens him; he was honest with dalton at happy jack’s, he’s told lev of his fear countless times - it’s become like a second skin, a feeling like sour, cold milk in his stomach. before he speaks, connor spares a glance at the arm attached to him at the shoulder. ❛ unwinding. yeah, that’s it. i’m - scared of unwinding. ❜ the words are hard to say, but they wouldn’t have been said at all if they were untrue. ❛ and i guess i’ll avoid it by not being an idiot. i’ve done okay so far. ❜
💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?
a deep breath, brown eyes suddenly steely, terrifying. it’s no shock, looking upon him like this, that so many people see him as a threat, as a danger. he looks just as volatile as a clapper, just minus the chemical imbalance in his blood. instead, his fury is all it takes to explode. ❛ be a better son. stop acting like you’re so impoverished - care about unwinds. think about them, talk about them, stand up for them. stop pretending you’re changing something and actually change something. stop being so stupid. grow the hell up. spend more time with your brother. but, seriously - be a better son. and - ❜ a smirk, a shrug. downplay the dire tones and try for humour. ❛ nice socks. ❜
🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?
this makes him laugh - as if he could have a future other than what his shadow has carved for him. as if he could live down his legacy long enough to be anything other than what everyone wanted him to be. ❛ when i was really young, i wanted to be just about everything. mostly a boeuf - they know what they’re doing. have a purpose, or whatever. but i never beefed up enough. now, i want to be… ❜ roland’s fist clenches, and connor has to coax it back into relaxation. ❛ whole. ❜
☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?
no. the answer comes to him quickly, without him having to think about it at all. a lousy leader, standoffish friend, impulsive mind and scarred body, connor failed to see his own use: he’s not made of gold like his friends, or as platinum as everyone believes he is. with only a smile, head shakes just barely, hands in his pockets. he’s got no words to add.
