#lossofinnocence

-Marina and The Diamonds / Teen Idle

I live in a small town in North Bay, Ontario. Sex trafficking is NOW EVERYWHERE!! This is what is happening in my small town! Our children are not safe ANYWHERE! PLEASE, this is NO JOKE! Yes, IT CAN AND WILL happen to YOUR KIDS if you are not careful! Be cautious when giving them cell phones. Limit their use on the internet! KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND WHO THEY ARE TALKING TO! Talk to your kids. Have a strong, trusting bond with them. These are the hardest, most confusing years for kids and a simple argument will seem like the end of the world to them and will cause them to listen to someone who is promising them money, drugs, love, compassion, understanding, fun, all the things that any kid would want to hear! PLEASE DO NOT ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO BE A STATISTIC! I lost my innocence at 6 years old! I didn't escape it until I was in my late 30's. I was a target for almost every man I came in contact with throughout my entire life. They sniff out the vulnerable! YOU NEVER GET OVER IT! Be your child's greatest advocate. best friend, their rock they know will always be there! I am ALWAYS here for ANYONE who needs to talk or needs help finding help in their area. Mamabear loves all of you! Xxxooo ❤️🙏😇🐻 #STOPSEXUALABUSE #STOPSEXTRAFFICKING #SAVEOURKIDS #NOMORESTIGMA #LOSSOFINNOCENCE https://sharedhope.org/ THIS IS WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY TOWN.... "It’s a dangerous game. Human sex trafficking is the fastest-growing crime in Canada, and North Bay women are being enticed to give it a try. Girls as young as 13 are being promised cash, pampering in hair and nail salons, as well as health and dental care, but it all comes at a cost – a steep one. Last year, Victim Crisis and Assistance Referral Service helped 12 women. All had different stories, many horrific. “Women forced to service their customers 10 times a day. Women are being threatened, beaten, brainwashed and housed in horrible conditions. They’re poorly fed and drugged,” said Carolyn Couchie, executive director of Victim Crisis and Assistance Referral Service." https://www.instagram.com/p/B9kNfp7ggTT/?igshid=1by8y4hlk76q6

One of the few times you'll see me smile... #tbt #soulardagod #darknessis #lossofinnocence https://www.instagram.com/p/B7IFRw4pnSi/?igshid=1uv2etyck3sfa

“We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls.” #anaïsnin Yia Yang, Dreaming Reality / Black Chalk Magazine @blackchalkmagazine Words @jthnomad Photos @yiazyang #fairies #fantasy #lossofinnocence #poetry #sorrow #dreams #dreamer #art #artistsoninstagram #artist #popart #style #womenstyle #fashion #fashioneditorial #editorial #fashionphotography #photography #artphotography #dreamer #illusion #writer #writersofinstagram

"Loss of Innocence" Photo: @longtimevices Makeup: me @jillynleone Wardrobe: @graynielson Model: @parisyvanna #beauty #fashion #editorial #lossofinnocence #naturallighting #soft #glow #mua #mualife #makeup #makeupartist #makeupartistry #makeupbyjillynleone #makeupforever #marcbeauty #marcjacobsbeauty #nars #milkmakeup #hourglass #beccacosmetics #anastasiabeverlyhills #tonymoly

Back to the present, my head is hunched over the sink. I started thinking: It’s a prisoners dilemma. I want to call her but I know if I do, it would just simply push her away more. Yet as every day passes and I don’t hear from her, I don’t know what she’s doing, I go crazy. On her end, she knows all she would need to do is to just give in. I mean, it’s a pretty sweet deal to be with me. I’ve got money, a house, a good job… relatively attractive and I take care of her. All the things a guy should do for a girl, right? All you gotta deal with is my occasional bouts of insecurities. Yet at the same time, she won’t call… because she also knows if she does she’ll get me going and she’s not sure what she wants from me. So, the simple thing that both parties want to do, they don’t. And so the game goes on. I’m walking around my house, gun in my hand. Still not sure what I’m supposed to do with my life. When I think about what matters most to me, I realize that I am the type of person who needs love in my life. I need to feel like someone loves me and that I can love that person back. I also realized that most of my life, I’ve always been with someone. Sunlight starts to gleam through the cracks in the window. Morning is coming…. “Great” I sarcastically say to myself *** “I’m on a roll” I said to myself. I wake up in my dorm room in college. I loved how the sunlight would gleam through the cracks in the window. It was my automated morning wake up call. This particular morning, I was feeling very happy. My college career had just started. I was a pretty isolated kid growing up and being in college allowed me to express and experience new things that I never even had exposure to in high school. I remember the exact moment when I was standing around in a circle with a couple of new found buddies, passing a bong around. Sure, I had never even smoked a cigarette before, let a long weed. As it got to me, I had flashbacks of those public service announcements they would show us in high school of the kid saying “no!” and the voice over reminding us all to never give into peer pressure. I remember at that moment, I thought “Screw it… here goes to giving into peer pressure” and I smoked the hell out of that bong. This moment pretty much represented the first two years of my college life. I hit everything hard, and even harder when they were new experiences. My roommates and I binge drank every Friday night, and kept a collection of all that we drank on a bookshelf in our common area meant for books. We stacked those bottles and cans up like trophies. Not to mention, shoved the bottle caps up on the roof as decoration. We somehow got our hands on an extra bed that we laid on the floor for any guests that couldn’t make it back to their own rooms. Another thing I tried to really experience, were girls. When I think back, it was just much easier in college. Everyone was trying to meet everyone else. We were encouraged to talk to new people. It also helped that I had befriended a girl who was extremely out going, yet we shared no romantic feelings towards. She was my wing-woman and I was her wing-man. A typical lecture hall for a general education class at my college was pretty large – 300 or so students would cram into a cavern of a lecture hall trying to soak up as much knowledge, or catch up on their sleep, as much as possible. I remember staring off from the corner of my eye, a girl that I couldn’t get my eyes off. She had a slender figure, long jet black hair, and dimples. I’ll never forget her dimples. They had a way that folded when she smiled that just… worked for her. My wing-woman could tell I was looking at her, and just boisterously called out to her. That would have been fine, except the lecture was still going on. “Hey… Hey! Yeah, You” “Huh?” The girl responded “You doing anything after class? My boy here wants to talk to you” I always thought she was crazy I don’t even remember what I said to that girl at the end of lecture. However I found out she lived in a dorm close to me. I would randomly stop by and “bump” into her. On a particular hot day, I was hanging out on my balcony with a friend and I saw her walking across the quad in her bathing suit and a gym bag. I told my buddy that I had a major crush on her and he urged me to go talk to her… right then and there. “That’s weird, man… she’s like… going to the gym or something” “Ya so, go and show off your muscles.” “Ya, I have been working out a lot…” I said sheepishly I ran down stairs and caught up with her. She thought I was so weird for wanting to go swimming with her. But I joined her and we had a lot of fun just hanging out at the pool. I don’t even think we got in to take a swim. We just spent the next hour talking. She told me about her family, how she hated her sister, and how she missed home. She was an outdoorsy person and was never one for studying. But her roommates were all bookworms and never wanted to go out. There was a certain innocence in that conversation that I will never forget. We were just two kids, wholly into one another through our conversation. Before her, I never really talked to a girl in a college. I always just met them at some drunken party but never actually really talked to one. As we got to know each other more and more, I found myself becoming wholly infatuated with her. I loved her little laughs at the most random of things. I loved the way her slender fingers would hold her pencils as we were studying. I loved the way she had this crooked smile she’d give me when I would say something stupid. One night as we were studying together, I had gone in for a kiss. She let me kiss her, but asked me “Why did you do that?” I replied “because I wanted to.” She turned her cheek and said she needed to be alone. What just happened? The next couple of weeks were strange. She no longer wanted to catch up or study. She didn’t want to find time to meet up. She would go swimming alone. Shortly after that, at yet another college night party, I decided to move on from this girl. And I decided the best way to do so, was to meet someone else. As the drinks flowed, and the music worn on, I found myself locking eyes with some girl whose name I don’t even remember. We stumbled our way back to my dorm room. My roommate was gone as we jumped on my bed. As we kissed and caressed each other, I had this off feeling that something was wrong. As I took her shirt off I felt my arm brushing against something. Trying to ignore it, I continued. There it is again… what did I just feel? With the moonlight glistening, I got a glimpse of what I rubbed up against – her armpit hair. I’m not talking about just some stubble. It was full on gorilla hair. Instantly disgusted, I pushed her off me. I told her that I forgot I needed to study for a test the next day and kept apologizing. As I was walking her out of my room, I bumped into swimmer girl. She stared at us and then looked right at me, with a look of disgust. Without saying a word, I knew what she was thinking. In that one night, I lost two women. One of which was quite a funny story of armpit hair and alcohol. The other one was more complicated. That feeling of innocence that I had with that girl has become a central role in my belief system. Being with her reminded me of the simpler days of my life where I didn’t care about what I looked like, what drinks I was drinking, what kind of car I was driving, what my major was. It was just about going out into the world and experiencing it. Being with swimmer girl reminded me of those days, and that’s how I viewed her. I think she had hoped I too was going to be her innocent man. When I kissed her, she didn’t know what the kiss meant. Did I love her? Was I just there for a fling? Seeing me with armpit girl perhaps confirmed her suspicions that I was just another typical guy, no longer innocent.