#lookingforluna

Would you be making a mistake giving up after being together for 2 years? You don't want to throw away all the beautiful memories and moments created together, but how much longer would you be a secret?

"I think you should really just go, Tae," you manage to get out.

As you stare into the mirror, you can't help but think your mom was right. If the two of you were in a relationship, why was he always spotted with different actresses or models? You didn't want to come across as an insecure girlfriend, so you rarely questioned him. When you did, however, you'd get somewhat the same range of responses anytime you brought up a new rumor.

Business Dinner.

Networking.

Charity Event.

Music Collab.

It wasn't anything you could really argue about because, at the end of the day, everything was connected with his career, and he didn't exactly have a normal career. He just happened to have the one where you could never be seen with him, or so he made it seem. Then again, he met you while on vacation, and what should have just been a short summer fling turned into more.

He chased you down the beach and asked for your number on the last day of your vacation.

He flew you out to Korea to witness his comeback performance live.

He introduced you to his friends and parents.

He moved you into your own luxury apartment not too far from him.

"I'm not leaving. Can we talk about things?" The desperation in his voice grows with each word.

"There's nothing for us to talk about," you reply, feeling more sure of your decision.

The rattle of the doorknob causes you to turn around as Taehyung continues to struggle with it, except it won't budge. You needed your space from him; it was the only way you could think clearly.  

"Y/N, unlock the door for me. You can't just end things like this!" His voice rises at the end, and you can hear the frustration building up.

"Well, this is me ending things, Taehyung. Just leave," you say louder, your voice feeling even more firm and steady as things start to add up in your mind.

"Open this door and stop hidin-"

"Stop hiding?!" Your hand swings the door open and Taehyung stumbles from the sudden loss of support. He quickly regains his balance, hands reaching towards your face.

"You want to talk about hiding?" You swat his hands away from your face as you try to push past him, but before you can get further, his fingers circle your wrist, pulling you to him.

"YOU'VE BEEN HIDING ME OUR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP!"

You shout, yanking your wrist from his hand, watching his eyes widen at your sudden outburst. You had never said it out loud before, and it even shocked you. It was a small ember that was slowly building in your relationship for months, and it wasn't until this moment that it finally erupted into flames.

Taehyung opens his mouth to respond just as a knock sounds from the door.

"Taehyung? Y/N? Everything okay in there?" Namjoon's voice is full of concern, and suddenly you realize the entire hall must've heard the two of you.

You can see the wheels turning behind Taehyung's eyes as he stands there, tongue pressed against his cheek before turning away from you. His fingertips brush through his honey blonde hair as he opens the door, not to find only Namjoon, but Jungkook and Jimin standing at his sides as well.

"Y/N, hey, are you okay?" Jimin pushed past Taehyung, not even glancing at him as he walked straight over to you. You hadn't realized it, but at some point tears began to fall, and now they were running uncontrollably down your cheeks.

"What did you do?" Jungkook pressed as he walked up to Taehyung.

There was no point in questioning him. Taehyung couldn't take his eyes off you and the way you tried to turn away from him, almost burrowing into Jimin's arms so he couldn't see you.

"I want to leave."

You manage to get the words out softly without your voice cracking.  

"Y/N, maybe you guys should talk befo-"

"Please, Namjoon. I can't." The words are so soft and barely above a whisper as more tears begin to fall.

"Oka-"

You flinch, turning around to see Taehyung with both hands against the wall, his shoulders rising and falling quickly with each heavy breath. The clenching and unclenching of his right hand is enough for you to register the loud sound that came from his hand slamming into the wall. You didn't like to see him hurting, but it was unfair for you to be hurting as well.

"Look, maybe you two just need some space to cool down, and you guys can talk later," Namjoon explains to Tae with a reassuring hand on his back. He leans in and whispers something in his ear, but you can't make it out.

All you witness is the slight nod from Tae as he straightens up and runs a hand across his face before turning to face you. He takes a step in your direction, and you can't help but take a step back. You could feel the blood rushing through your veins.

You weren't scared of him, not one bit. You could never be scared of him. You were scared of falling back into his lap, easily giving in to keep the peace and returning to being his secret.

Tae closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, visibly hurt by you stepping away from him.

"We can talk after the concert. I'll give you some space," he breathes out, quickly leaving the hotel room, not giving anyone a chance to speak.

"I'll go talk to him," Namjoon manages to say, giving Jungkook and Jimin a look before rushing out of the room.

"It's my fault. I should've left a long time ago," you say, sliding your body down until you're sat on the floor, arms wrapped around your legs.

"Hey hey, that's not true," Jungkook says, walking over and crouching down to your level.

"Yeah, we all know how much Taehyung loves you. You're all he ever talks about," Jimin chimes in as he runs his hand across your back.

"I just feel like I can't handle it anymore. I've been a secret for so long. It's so hard living in the shadows," you express, resting your head across the top of your knees.

"Okay, how about this? You take a bubble bath, relax, clear your thoughts, and just put on a movie instead of coming to the concert," Jimin suggests as he begins walking towards the bathroom door.

You look up at Jimin, not expecting that response at all. Tae would be expecting you there and probably looking out for you in the crowd. Even during previous fights, you would always show up, standing in the same designated spot for him to find you.

"Wait, Jimin, I don't know if Tae would be okay-"

Before Jungkook can finish his sentence, Jimin is already cutting him off with an explanation.

"They need a little bit of space; missing one concert isn't going to ruin things."

Jungkook hesitantly nods before standing to his full height and reaching his hands down to help you up.

"Grab your clothes, and we'll run you a bubble bath before we leave," he smiles before rubbing your head, ruffling up your hair, and chuckling as you rush to fix it.

You watch as he follows Jimin into the bathroom and softly closes the door. As you move to rummage through your suitcase, the steady sound of water falling into the tub fills the room. You settle on some fluffy pajama pants and one of Tae's old oversized T-shirts you slept in every night.

Even though the running water echoes through the room, you can still hear the quiet mumbles of Jimin and Jungkook. It sounds like they're going back and forth, and you can't help but step closer to the door.

"Come on, Jimin, you know it's not right!"

The roughness in Jungkook's voice takes you by surprise. What could cause such a reaction from him?

"It's not our place at all. It's not our relationship," Jimin's voice sounds seconds later, just as rough.

It's Jungkook's next sentence that causes your heart to drop. It feels like the wind is blown out of you as a truth is revealed. Your head begins to spin as question after question clouds your mind.  

"Management told him two months ago he could go public with their relationship. So why hasn't he?"

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You shout, brows furrowing and jaw clenching at the thought of him entering the bathroom while you’re showering. He was so damn lucky the hotel selected frosted glass for their shower doors. If he had walked in here while you were naked, all hell would’ve probably broken loose. You might’ve even thrown your body wash at him. Well, it’s still possible at the moment, especially with the anger from earlier still sitting in your bones.

“I needed to piss; therefore, I’m in the bathroom,” he responds, and you’re sure there’s a smug smirk on his lips. The way his voice pitches slightly at the end is enough to tell you that he finds this amusing.  

This must be payback because why else would he be annoying you this way? Not a moment crosses your mind where you can remember Jungkook using the bathroom with you in there. In all the years the two of you have been friends, a situation like this has never occurred.

“There’s another bathroom across the hall,” you state while wringing out the loofah and hanging it on the little shelf in the corner. If you stayed under the water any longer, your skin would probably start to peel, and the thought of that sends a shiver down your spine.

Instead of a response from Jungkook, a low exhale comes from him, followed by a steady stream of water. The fact that he’s standing a couple of feet away from you pissing should be enough to gross you out, but for some reason it doesn’t…you find it hot?  

Not the fact that he’s peeing, but that he’s doing something so intimate with you right here naked with nothing but a glass dividing the two of you.

“I was in a rush, and this one is closer,” he explains as the last few drips sound in the bathroom. If you wanted to, you really could slide open the glass just a bit and take a peek. I mean, there were many moments throughout the years where the thought of Jungkook’s dick and how big it was popped into your mind. You were certain he was big just from the way he would manspread any chance he got, no matter how many times you would yell at him for taking up so much space and not being considerate. But now was not the time to be thinking about how much he was packing.    

“Ugh, are you done yet? I need to get out,” you groan, hand reaching to turn off the faucet, and standing still as the remaining water swirls down the drain. If you were back home, you would’ve been immediately reaching for the towel, patting yourself dry before stepping out of the shower. Unfortunately, you’re not home, and you’re still standing there with no towel, the cold air nipping at your skin the longer you wait.

“You know you can look for yourself and see if I’m done.” The low chuckle that follows suddenly has you wishing you had done more than only dump the water on him. He was right; you did have a strong urge to look, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Stop playing with me, Jungkook! I’m freezing!”

Within a few seconds, the loud flushing of the toilet sounds and the sink turns on. A deep sigh escapes from the depths of your chest as you slightly slide open the door, fingers grasping onto the soft fluffy fabric, quickly securing it around your body.

“Don’t act like you didn’t want to see.”

The door is suddenly pulled open, eliciting a shriek from your lips. Jungkook is standing there in grey shorts and a fitted black tee, different from his interview ensemble.

“What the actual fuck is wrong with you today?!” You exclaim, glancing down to make sure all parts of your body are fully covered, the little piece of your towel securely tucked in under your armpit.

Even though the air conditioning is on full force, your entire body seems to be heating up the longer you stare at Jungkook. The anger is raging through your veins, but there’s a hint of something else, and the more you focus on the muscled man towering in front of you, the more it increases. Those long, slender fingers of his reach up and skim through his black, messy hair, exposing his forehead. You can’t help but bite your lip as you watch his slow movements. This idiot has no idea the effect he has on you, but you’re glad he hasn’t noticed.

“Nothing’s wrong with me, y/n. I’m actually in a really good mood right now,” he mumbles while looking down at you, his voice sounding slightly raspier and deeper than before.

The two of you were standing so close now, barely a foot of space between you. You could nearly feel Jungkook’s breath flow over your entire face as he spoke. Jungkook was a lot taller than you, so much that you had to tilt your head up to speak to him when he was in such close proximity like this.

“Then why have you been making so many sly comments towards me lately? It’s almost as if you’re jealous,” you question now even more aware that at this angle Jungkook has a clear view straight down into your towel.  

“Would it be an issue if I was?”

It comes out so softly you were sure your mind must have been playing tricks on you. There’s no way he’s standing here and dangling the possibility that he’s jealous when it comes to you. Sure, you had questioned him, but those were not the words you expected to leave his mouth. Your lips part, and a soft breath escapes through your lips as you scan his eyes for any sign. There’s not a hint of amusement or anything that would give him away as toying with you.

“You’re seeing someone, Jungkook. We shouldn’t be alone like this.”

It’s as if a spell breaks the second you say those words out loud, the look on his face changing. He takes a step back from you, shaking his head only for a few strands of hair to fall across his forehead. You’re stuck in the same position, feeling all over the place. In the distance, you can hear the faint voices of the guys across the hall, their laughter sounding louder and louder. The two of you must’ve been in the bathroom together for about 10 minutes now.

Silence fills the small space, and Jungkook stands there, his bottom lip briefly stuck between his teeth, jaw tight, before he releases it.

“Yeah, you’re right. We shouldn’t,” and with that cold response, he brushes past you without a second glance, coldness taking over your body, only this time it’s not from the bathroom air.

Maybe this wasn’t the best idea, you think to yourself as you survey the scene in front of you. Two pitchers of strawberry sangria were the perfect amount for the eight of you to enjoy with a slight buzz, but somehow you manage to convince Hobi to order another round, and really it didn’t take much convincing.

“No, because think about it—,” Taehyung is in the midst of his explanation before he is cut off by Yoongi.

“Taehyung, you might have a chance, but there’s no way Jimin’s surviving out there.”

All of you sat around a large polished cherry oak table in the private area of the cozy hotel restaurant. You sat between Taehyung and Jimin, which of course Jungkook made a face at. Directly across from you, he swirled his glass of sangria before downing it, immediately reaching to pour what must’ve been his fifth glass. On either side of him sat Namjoon and Yoongi, and on either side of them sat Jin and Hobi, filling out the rest of your table. One thing about these boys is that they could eat. There was not a full plate in sight; everyone wasted no time devouring their meals, and now a heated debate was taking place on who could survive in the wilderness.

“Yah, why wouldn’t I survive?!” Jimin shouts, clearly insulted by the fact that Yoongi had more faith in Taehyung than him.

This was the most talkative Yoongi had been in a minute. All you had to do was get a little alcohol in his system, and that man would be full-on gummy smile and yapping mode.

“You don’t even have any survival skills,” Jin chips in, pushing Jimin’s shoulder in a playful way.

“I know how to make a fire,” Jimin responds, pushing Jin right back, almost causing him to slide out of his chair from the sudden force.

“You almost burned down your apartment two weeks ago while making ramen,” Yoongi quickly reminds everyone.  

This was news to you, and the image of Jimin burning down the apartment because of something so small as ramen mixed with the feeling of alcohol flowing through your veins has you bursting into a fit of giggles. The laughter overtakes your body so much so that your entire upper body falls into Taehyung’s lap, unable to keep your balance. This restaurant really knew how to make a great sangria, and those incredibly sweet strawberry pieces might be your new weakness. As your giggles slowly quiet down, your eyes become heavy from the light caresses across your cheek, and any conversation in the background slowly fades away.

You become aware of the heat radiating from Taehyung’s thighs and how muscular they feel beneath your cheek. Heat rises to your own face at how intimate a position you’re currently in, but your body feels too comfortable to move. You were close with the boys, but you were never in a position like this with any of them. You don’t want to read too much into it, but the way Taehyung touches your face feels a little more than friendly.  

Laughter still flows around you, but the conversation makes no sense with the drowsiness creeping up on you. The sleepy feeling is so strong that you don’t even have the energy to react when Jungkook makes another comment; in fact, what he says doesn’t even fully register before you drift off into the darkness.  

“So now you’re giving blowjobs under the table?”

Chapter 08

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You scoff at the audacity he has to question why you were up and awake at this hour.

“Oh, you know, I just finished helping Batman save the city. Why the fuck do you think I’m up?!” You shout, frustration building up even more once you realize that bitch is still moaning.

“And why the fuck is she still moaning if you’re out here?!”

You add on, so damn irritated that this was the bullshit you were dealing with when you had work in the morning. All you wanted was a decent night of sleep, but it was always something with Jungkook. Taehyung and Jimin got lucky with their rooms being on the other side of the apartment. Your bedroom was down the hall from Jungkook’s, and on top of that you had to share a bathroom with him.

He chuckles softly, and his warm breath fans across your face from the close proximity between the two of you.

“She’s being a good girl and following my orders. Something I remember you seemed to have trouble with,” he replies. Heat rises up your neck, and your entire face suddenly feels aflame. There was no way he said that. Flashbacks of you in Jungkook’s bed start to surface through your mind. The way your toes would curl from just one movement of his fingers, or the way his hands fit perfectly around your throat.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you choke out, trying to erase those memories between the two of you.

He was the one who ended things, and there was no point in him bringing those moments back up. There’s barely any space between the two of you, as you stare up at him in the darkness.

“So now you’re gonna pretend none of it happened between us?” He asks as his thumb and index finger capture your jaw, lightly squeezing and sending a jolt of electricity through your body. You hated that he still had this effect on you.

“That’s exactly what I’ll do,” you manage to mumble from the position he has you trapped in. The air between the two of you feels so intense and full of tension. It’s becoming harder to breathe, and every second you stand this close to him, the more your desire for him grows. Jungkook chuckles again as he leans in, your lips centimeters away from touching.

“Then I’ll just have to remind you every chance I get.”

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