#lookcuter

Well, I spent most of the day researching prices on sexual harassment training. That would almost be ironic. Apparently it is law in California that every 2 years, management needs training in handling cases of sexual harassment. I wonder if California really believes being reminded every 2 years would help the situation from people abusing their power. But maybe I am being cynical, maybe it is so supervisors make better decisions when employees come to them with complaints. 

I’d make a joke where I should also take this training, but I feel that would hit a bit too close to home. Well, I wouldn’t know if this is sexual harassment, I haven’t had the training yet.

Anyway, I went to my cousin’s house. She wasn’t really please to see me. Her other cousins were there, Preston and Nathan. Their sister Ariel was on a senior trip to .... Hawaii. Like how much money did that have to cost? Well, I guess that is much cheaper compared to how much college costs.

More importantly, I kind of fucked up when it came to shirt sizes. I thought a small would be comparable to a woman’s medium. Unfortunately, when I gave my cousin the shirt to try on, it was way too big. Granted, she is shorter and not as endowed as you are, I still think the size is too large. I should have bought the extra small. Well, I am sure you will grow into it. I also bought a tank top that was purposely too large. I feel that it would be too cute for you to wear now, but might be more fitting when you get a bit older. Call me patient. (or creepy as you like)

My cousin is quite greedy though. She wanted another shirt than the one I gave her. I think she is truly jealous of all the attention I give her. Meh, familial love is only so strong compared to the other type. Or she just wanted more shirts. Those shirts are really soft after all.

Another mistake? I let my cousin design the free pizza I got from Dominos. Do you know she likes pizza with no topping? Apparently even though she loves bacon, she can’t stand it on pizza. So now there is a spinach and bacon pizza to be picked up tomorrow. Well, I guess it was her first time designing a pizza, I can’t criticize her too harshly. I bet your pizza would be pepperoni, bacon, sausage, and more bacon. Even though there are only 2 toppings allowed, you would demand I pay extra for all the toppings. And while I would initially protest, could I ever resist you or your demands? 

The final mistake so far was when I bought my cousin Jamba Juice. I decided to get a Green Ginger drink. You know how awful that drink was? It was like I was drinking ginger. Who in their mind designed that drink? Probably the same people who like eating ginger snaps. Crazies. That’s who. 

Asshole moment of the day: I was walking behind a guy who stepped aside. Apparently he was letting an older man who was going the other way more room to pass. Instead of also stepping aside, I just took up the space and walked forward. When the guy tried to talk to me and chastise me, I just kept walking. I was really in no mood to argue and it was very hot. So, I am now an asshole and you can feel free to be very attracted to me. But not too attracted because I don’t want to go to jail.

Day isn’t over yet, but I am just going to watch Sci- fi series. Less sex and drama with more story isn’t your cup of tea. But hey, opposites attract damn it. Oh, and why was your mom so happy today. She was constantly laughing and smiling. You better not have been sharing this webpage around.

Love,

that guy who gave you a herd of (blue) elephants.

6-25-15

9:48 PMish

Now for the sentimental mushy stuff, feel free to skip if you don’t want your heart to break/ eyes to roll.

I feel as if I have written hundreds of thousands of words to you. Pages and pages of my thoughts and feelings. I don’t know how long I can keep this up. Id on’t know how long you would be willing to read these ramblings and messages of an obsessed fool. If I am fortunate, you’ll read a thousand of these messages and you’ll start to understand a little about what kind of person I am.  If I am unfortunate, you show this to your boyfriend and he tries to kill me.