Jul 6
in the kindest way possible, i don't care about a billionaire's wedding where majority of the streets are cut off from people's access to move around during a heat wave.
it's very "watch us eat cake while you starve" kinda vibe.
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in the kindest way possible, i don't care about a billionaire's wedding where majority of the streets are cut off from people's access to move around during a heat wave.
it's very "watch us eat cake while you starve" kinda vibe.
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i love seeing people be full on experts on what their interests are but i also love seeing people who are JUST NEW to their interests! they're making discoveries on what they like, the history, the craft, or art, or story, or lore! it's great!!!!
oh you're finding out more fun stuff about this?? and still want to talk about it???? i love it, LOVE IT!!!
sometimes therapy works to gain some wisdom to move forward in life, but also gaining wisdom from drag queens while job hunting will get that extra magical boost in confidence....
i'm thankful that despite wanting to rot in bed, i went out to hustle a little to get a new job and it's working out for the better for me 🥹
life is beautiful because i got to eat funnel cake near the pier in my city, bought some good items today, watched the birds by the ocean near the pseudo lighthouse AND i picked up trash a little.
also got home to have my thrifted clothes arrive in the mail and they're beautiful and one of the jackets had DUCKS IN THEM!!!!! SUPER CUTE!!!!!
i'm happy to be alive!
my beloved cat daughter, corn, is so funny...
she's scared of outside noises, children and men specifically, hates the birds being too loud BUT is curious about them, growls when she hears people near the house, and cries if i'm away from the comfort of my room for too long.
she's just recently noticed the crows in the front yard and is fascinated by them, but also can't help but growl cuz they're near the house LMFAO
keep in mind, for a long time i've been used to greyshis, a very sociable cat who wanted to be the center of everything at a party. he was well spoiled for it and had no shame showing off his belly if that meant he was gonna get affection from anyone. so having corn now, being affectionate, yes, but very skittish with new people and anyone outside the house? i'm amused by this behavior but i make sure she's well protected and comforted after everything.
love my little baby girl So Much,.. :')
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there's times where i sometimes am like "maybe the str8 ppl i interact aren't so bad after all!" until i become painfully aware of how lowkey weird they can be when i'm not their typical usual standard Gay Stereotype or w/e.
like, some of them try to challenge me if i'm "really gay" or smth, question me with invasive stuff and i'm exhausted trying to dodge it and move on. sometimes i fall for the bait (autistic and all lmfao) and they start to make fun of me. it's so annoying.
i can 100% now understand why when i was younger, i felt so confused and vulnerable with people doing this. and i'm sad i allowed myself to people please others to fit THEIR mold of digestible gays. the journey wasn't easy, but i'm happy that now i'm comfortable and confident to know what i am and CAN displease people if they're being fucking weird with me.
anyway, just late night thoughts. i'm happy now :)
mini vent on my appearance i guess? nothing about me being negative, just the situation
man sometimes it's hard to try and create the look you want on yourself while other people around you just lowkey wanna stop you from doing it. i want a certain haircut, people try to discourage you from having it or getting it done, so it doesn't happen.
i've lately been making myself not please others anymore, cuz even when i do i still get fucked over or it's not enough for them. AND THEN they suddenly go like "oh actually this suits you" YEAH NO SHIT YALL, LIKE TRUST MY PERSPECTIVE ON WHAT I WANNA LOOK!!!
my eyebrows are shorter, my hair is dyed black, i'm leaning more back into punk/goth looks again after a long time of appeasing other's to look "normal", and hell even my make-up is back to being thicker again instead of a Delicate Dainty Liner or w/e! if anything, i'm feeling like myself and finally able to express it visually that makes me happy ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ
i did kinda expect a little bit of resistance from other people but i'm glad im in a state of mind where i'm feeling more confident to say "yeah no, this is happening and i'm gonna keep going."
overall, happy with how i present myself now, feel more confident (even if i still deal with lots of anxiety), and i'm loving life again after a long period of time with bad depression. glad at some point i read somewhere "look what you'd wanna look like when you were a teen" and it's oddly been working!! i do think 13 yr old loo WOULD be happy to see how they look~
yippiiiiiieee (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ
i love....beetles so much......... :( they're just clumsy armored lil guys....