Second round to begin ... now... #UGH #amediting #hatesit #editingsucks #longnovel #waypastdeadline #deadlinewhatdeadline #writersdesk #writersproblems #WritingCommnunity (at Morganton, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBHUBNKAWzZ/?igshid=1sjoz6mukmyvt

Progressing through #warandpeace . Start date: August of 2016. #tolstoy #classicnovel #longnovel. #booksandreading

Like most young woman my age I want to start to figure out my life and to find my purpose. Half the girls my age are either pregnant, almost graduating college / university, or have some what of their life in a bit of order. I have my grade 12 diploma that's it.. I have a lot of work experience but life isn't as easy on me as most people my age. I do not have financial support to attend school like I wish and I have something called a learning disability. growing up it was challenging but to this day I struggle on a daily basis but try to make the best out of it! on a normal basis I still feel like people judge me because I am not up to as much speed as I should be as I am 21. Most people don't understand why I am still doing retail at a job I hate and that makes me miserable, well you see it pays my bills. I have done a lot of stupid things over my life time and no I don't mean stupid as in, lost my virginity at 14 or got so drunk / high I didn't know what was going on, or left my house in the middle of the night well my parents were sleeping to see a guy. Just stupid things that have slowed down where I should and could be by now. I think about that everyday but I also believe everything happens for a reason. Don't get me wrong, I believe life is beautiful and so are the people around me and I celebrate life just.. wish I had more out of it by now. Though if I did, I wouldn't of learned out of life which I have so far, which by the way you cant learn in school so I am a step further in life in that area compared to the other people my age. If I was as far as them education wise, I would not of met the love of my life... honestly I wouldn't of. I was suppose to leave Regina, Sask anyways before I met him but for some unknown reason my gut said stay.. buy a car instead and stay in this shity "city" you hate so much, so that's what I did, than a month after getting the paper work done.. it was complete I did paper work to get my car. I was on a dating site, I know how stupid of me but this guy who seemed so sweet was texting me for about a week or so, so I said what the heck why not... the day the dealership handed me the keys I met this boy.. it was probably the stupidest thing I could of ever done but at the same time, the best. I found love in a hopeless place, I didn't know what he was doing behind my back, but I let him move back with me to Ontario. Live in my house with me and my parents and well.. we dated seven months, than he went on a vacation with his family to England and just never came back, he begged for me to stay in his life while in the process telling me what he did to me the whole time we dated. I know his feelings weren't false though and that he truly deeply loved me. Anyways long story short. I went to England to visit him and stay with him for a week as I wanted to do something crazy fun for my birthday so I did, I spent it in England with my ex-boyfriend who was my friend. The moment I saw him I obviously fell in love all over again, even though it had been 4 months since I saw him last. He changed, I changed. turns out he fell for me the same as I did or I guess the real term is we just admitted to ourselves we still love each other, anyways we ignored our feelings not telling each other to protect our hearts. Well on my birthday that all changed, he sort of opened up to me and I admitted that I missed him and he said he needed to be with me and wanted to, so since I saw that change in him in so many levels and as a friend before my trip I knew he was changing anyways I agreed to take him back. He is still in England and I was there in July (5-12), and he is not coming back until after Christmas when I was will be living in our apartment in a new place, town, area, region.. haha for his return, long distance sucks I must say but... we have made it this far through everything and yes we broke up but for the better. Anyways what I am trying to get at is I sort of believe he may be the one if he still stays the better person than he was before.. he even told me I am so perfect for him, it scares him. Crazy right?!  Is it possible to meet the love of your life in your 20's? Anyways Everything happens for a reason right? Well in my head it does, haha. I guess what I am trying to say is that I'm still trying to find myself and this sucks, because I feel like I haven't made any process since the year I graduated high school, three years later and I am still trying to puzzle my life together.  Wish me all the luck you have, I will definitely need it.