Mar 19, 2019
// a group of weasels is called a boogle. Not kidding! Check out these boogles...
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// a group of weasels is called a boogle. Not kidding! Check out these boogles...
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DO YOU LIKE POTTER?!
“That’s absurd, what kind of question is that? The-boy-who-lived-to-be-the-savior-of-all-wizardkind or whatever title he has now is a complete menace. I’ll never forget how he refused to shake my hand. He is also spiteful, uncouth, and ignorant. And a slob. Have you seen his hair? Does he even know what a brush is? I can only imagine what it’s like to run my hands through it, it’s so wild and thick. Don’t even get me started about how dreadful he looks in gold and red. Completely clashes with his emerald eyes, he should have been in Slytherin. His quidditch skills are overrated as well, he gets lucky. It’s not my fault quidditch trousers are so flattering! It’s like they were designed just to hug his ass like that… (etc. etc. etc.).”
“General, what is your opinion on Reylo?”
// I’m like 87% certain that Phasma and Peavey get together for after work drinks to bitch about their stupid bosses.
“I saw Kylo Ren talking to himself in the hallway. I think he’s finally lost it. Seriously this time.”
“Get this, Hux was doing his whole ‘everything’s fine routine’ and the Supreme Leader pops up out of nowhere and slams him down face first! He must have broken a tooth. Sorry you missed it.”
“You won’t believe this. Ren had us try to blow up a projection of an old man today.”
“Yes, the girl really bit him! You should have been there. He shrieked like a... well, I was a little girl and I never screamed like that. He tried to hide behind me afterwards. I almost died laughing.”
“It was at least 5 minutes before he realized that pilot was messing with him.”
“We’re fucked.”
“We’re so fucked.”
Reporter: General, congratulations on destroying the Resistance! The galaxy is on the verge of complete surrender. You must be thrilled with the current state of the First Order.
Hux:
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you smell like cinnamon or something
// That episode game where Hux’s cute neighbor needs to borrow his phone. I’ll call this a targeted marketing win. A+ advertisers!