#lokiskitten

Tom Hiddleston | forbidden behavior

Stepdad!Tom Hiddleston x fem!reader

plot : around a week after your stepfather called it off regarding the bond you two had developed, you are caught hanging out with a couple of friends in a café. Noticing his presence outside of the building, you decide to join him only to receive the most peculiar lecture of your life.

warnings : stepdad!trope, stepdad x stepdaughter intercourse, jealousy, slight physical abuse, kissing, crotch groping, handjob.

A week had passed since your stepfather had decided to end the relationship the two of you had progressively developed behind your mother’s back. You obviously took this as betrayal, an unnecessary decision which easily led you to develop hatred for the older man- especially after he had managed to convince you that the moments you spent together filled him with as much bliss as it did for you. But these times were now over, and your first mission easily became to avoid him as soon as you penetrated inside of your own home. Before your mother, both you and Tom were obviously forced to make an effort in order to keep your secret on the low- scared that any suspicious behavior would lead your past to come flashing under the lights of the projectors.

Tom Hiddleston | adventurous trip

Tom Hiddleston x fem!reader

plot : no matter your age gap, Tom easily became your safe person ever since the two of you met at the local library. Your introverted self tends to feel safer in his mature presence. However, after noticing you haven’t been doing well this week, he decides to surprise you with a hang out at the lake.

warnings : smut, age gap ( legal ), praising, and just Tom being very dominant and making you feel safe whilst you’re giving him a handjob in the back of his car~

The past few weeks had been awful for you. It had become harder and harder for you to maintain a healthy lifestyle, especially as exams were meant to show you up soon which stressed you out deeply. Due to your lack of close surroundings, no one seemed to truly worry about your state as long as you were doing a good job in college. In fact, your only friend was a man who was twenty years older than you were- which forced you to keep it secret. He was adorable really, and composed exactly the supportive and manly silhouette you needed in order to fill the gap created by daddy issues.

Even if you wouldn’t admit it, a part of you was attracted to him both physically and mentally. You felt guilty for getting such thoughts about a man who was your elder, which you obviously kept for yourself as the last thing you wanted was for Tom to find out about the childish crush you had on him. You cherished all those moments the two of you were able to spend together- the way he was way more mature than the people your age and how these few facts secretly made your pussy throb within your panties. After all, what teenage girl wouldn’t feel attracted to the image of an experienced older man?

[ ... ]

Today was Friday, which meant you would finally receive a break from the exhausting week you had just gone through. However, as you walked down the street on your way to the bus stop, your eyes fell onto the unexpected sight that was Tom’s car parking by your side next to the pavement. You frowned out of surprise whilst pulling your earphones out of your ears, bending over as the passenger’s seat window opened for you to be able to peek inside of the vehicle. “Hey darling.” Your best friend spoke, taking his sunglasses off his nose with a smirk. Whilst he seemed absolutely ravished, you couldn’t help but remain confused.

After anxiously taking a look to your left then your right, your hands gripped onto the edge of the open window as you made eye contact with the older man. “Tom? What are you doing here?” You questioned, remaining cautious due to the presence of strangers around you. The crowd always managed to make you nervous. “Kidnapping you.” He answered jokingly as an invitation for you to climb inside of his car, which you automatically did without needing to be begged twice. As soon as you had entered the vehicle, Tom began to drive away from the bus stop and towards an unknown location.

“You had a nice day at college?” He asked on a determined tone, his blue eyes remaining staring at the road to make sure that he wouldn’t accidentally crash his car or put your life in danger. You couldn’t help but feel bothered by this rather annoying question which inevitably brought you back to the awful week you spent at school. Putting your bag down between your knees, you avoided making eye contact with the older man. “I guess. Couldn’t have been any better.” You answered sarcastically whilst staring through the window.

Face to your rather negative answer, Tom’s brow raised curiously. He couldn’t help but feel concerned for your mental health. “Doesn’t sound like it.” He responded, earning a scoff coming from you. Again, your lack of happiness seemed to have affected the British gentleman. He sighed, turning to his left and entering a rather deserted road which was meant to lead the two of you to the lake for a chill evening. Though, you remained unaware of his plans.

“Where are we going?” You ended up asking on a softer tone, adjusting the position you once held in the comfortable seat which led a smile to appear on Tom’s lips. “I’m taking you to the lake. It’ll ease you up.” The older man finally revealed, the sight of the water and trees finally appearing upon your bare eyes. Never once your mother had taken you to such a place, and neither were you able to go by yourself. Therefore, it would be a great premiere for you, and you simply couldn’t wait to be able to spend some alone time with your best friend as well.

Once the car finally stopped, you hoped out of the vehicle and began to happily rush towards the water, Tom placing his sunglasses back onto his nose as he followed your move by peaking out of the driver’s side. He smiled as he watched you run until the water, his palm pushing onto the door in order to shut it close. Then, Tom followed after you, remaining calmer than you due to his more advanced age and different mindset. Yet you couldn’t help but feel the need to tease him face to his relaxed behavior.

Turning back around, you this once calmly made your way back to him as you watched the older man open his arms for you to snuggle in. Though he unexpectedly picked you up before swinging you around, happy giggles escaping your lips as you begged for your friend to put you down. “No! Please don’t!” Those few words convinced Tom to put you down, a grin still appearing on his face as you now took the initiative to run away from him- being aware that he would follow in order to participate to your childish game.

This whole chasing session was nothing but a game to you- a game which perfectly reflected the sinful thoughts you held for your elder. The fact that he followed up after you enhanced your senses and lust, deciding to willingly play easy to get in order to be able to find yourself in his strong arms again. This once, you took the initiative to reach for the car and snuggle in the back seat, Tom entering the vehicle after you did before closing the door to offer the two of you intimacy.

He was panting and now refused to give in your teases, avoiding the game by simply remaining cold face to your attempts to drag him in. This cold reaction disappointed you, yet you knew that you simply couldn’t force him to mess around if he didn’t want to. Besides, he was also older and certainly more mature than you were- which suddenly made you feel awkward regarding the situation you attempted to drag him in. Though, little did you know, Tom’s mind was filled with a different kind of play than yours.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He ended up speaking up so you didn’t have to, head turning towards yours which made his jawline pop out in the most ravishing way. Your answer was nothing but a simple shake of your head, jaw clenching out of frustration at the thought of facts you did not wish to admit. Though, this also felt like the right moment to make an effort to confess to your friend. “I think I just feel.. lonely.” You admitted sadly, earning an empathetic head tilt coming from your elder.

Tom remained aware that humour was probably the best way to divert your mind from your problems, and he therefore decided to put up a little show for you to enjoy- or dislike. “Oh, I’m so lonely.” He affirmed with a dramatic sigh as his head looked straight forward. Face to his rather disrespectful mimic, you couldn’t help but forget about your problems in order to pick on him. Your head tilted up towards his taller frame, brow raising out of confusion. “Oh fuck you, Tinkerbell.” You responded, earning a heavy chuckle coming from the blue eyed man.

He looked down at you, appreciating how a smile willingly appeared on your face through this nice moment you were spending together. Of course, Tom did not feel offended by your statement as he believed that he probably deserved it. “I’m tinkerbell?” He responded on an offended tone, fingertips pressing against his chest which easily led you to giggle. Though, as the two of you got lost into one another’s eyes, you couldn’t help but feel those overwhelming feelings take over your organism again.

Your breath became shaky, and Tom obviously noticed the way you were now staring at him. He had seen the same look in so many pairs of eyes throughout his life, which allowed him to gain personal experience regarding women and their physical signals. His hand moved up to your cheek which he cupped, his thumb lovingly rubbing circles against your cheekbone. Your remained motionless, fearing that any improvised move would lead whatever was taking place to end- which you didn’t want. Tom then pulled away, bringing both of his hands to the buttons of his shirt which he began to remove one by one.

It was as if time had stopped. Even if you remained calm and silent on the outside, your mind was currently going wild- coming up with potential scenarios regarding what could follow Tom’s lustful move. This had given the older man enough time to fully unbutton his shirt, exposing his abdominals to your youthful and innocent sight. They were perfect. Gently, Tom reached out for your wrist before dragging your hand all the way up to his toned stomach. His skin was smooth, warm and purely inviting. You began to hesitantly caress the visible square shapes with the palm of your hand, Tom’s eyes remaining focused onto what you were doing.

The two of you visibly trusted one another entirely, which was the main reason to why he was allowing you to touch and feel him. Finally being able to caress the older man drove most of your senses wild, your panties becoming soaked as your pulsating clit was silently begging for attention coming from Tom. “You’re enjoying that?” He questioned curiously, earning an eager nod coming from your younger self. A satisfied smirk appeared on his lips, the man extending his arms onto the backseat whilst he continued to let you caress his abdominals.

You eventually decided to pull your hand away, your orbs looking up at him as you could feel your cheeks heat up due to the great amount of pressure this starting intercourse was putting onto your shoulders- even if you had no genuine reason to feel this way. Tom twisted his body towards yours, cornering you against the door of the vehicle as his ocean pearls continued to admire your face. “I think you just need an experienced man to give you the attention you deserve~” Tom affirmed before leaning in and pressing his lips against yours.

His lack of hesitation managed to make you feel somewhat better, though it simply wasn’t enough to erase your great lack of confidence. An unwanted moan escaped your lips which didn’t fail to increase Tom’s lust, his hand now moving up to your breast which he began to squeeze in a respectful and loving manner. Your scent was driving him and his hormones crazy, a heavy amount of pheromones exiting his pores in order to lure you in accepting his sexual offer. His smell was absolutely ravishing and managed to send you head over heels, as it strangely contained everything you did seek for in a partner.

Within a matter of minutes, Tom managed to pull you up onto his lap as he now sat underneath you, hands roaming your waist whilst his lips continued to press against your neck and cleavage. “You’re gorgeous..” he affirmed between a few kisses, your head looking down and noticing how his eyelids remained closed whilst he took proper care of praising every single inch of your neck’s flesh. The main reason to why Tom was behaving so confidently with a woman who was two times younger than himself was because the two of you were friends. He knew you by heart, and could clearly tell that you were looking forward for more.

On another hand, you found yourself filled with bliss indeed without even needing comparison to be able to tell if the older man was doing a good job. It felt good, and that’s all that mattered. In fact, this was going to be your first intercourse ever. You eventually gained confidence for a short amount of time until you watched Tom begin to unbuckle his belt with shaky hands- frustrated groans escaping his thin lips. You sat back down onto his lap, your eyes staring at the scary image that was the grown man’s pants getting ready to be opened.

This was it. You would finally be able to see and feel what you’ve been dreaming about for so long. This felt like a no going back point- though it was never too late to say no, and Tom would’ve respected your decision no matter what. You gasped as your eyes landed on the frighting sight that was Tom’s hardness’ shape appearing underneath the pair of boxers he was wearing. Biting down on your bottom lip, you adjusted the position you’ve been holding against his upper knees whilst the older man began to gently stroke his member through his underwear. The fact that it remained covered led you to feel even more curious and desperate.

Though, it didn’t take long for him to push down onto the elastic of his boxers, digging a hand inside of his underwear in order to pull his cock out of the confines of this tight piece of clothing. His hardness was now revealed to your innocent eyes, a blush spreading over your cheeks and cunt as you admired the fainted veins which started from the base of his cock and traveled all the way up until his tip. It was the perfect shape and length. Never once had a male genitalia looked this good- at least from your inexperienced point of view.

Tom’s hand shifted forward as he took ahold of the base of his cock with the help of his thumb and index finger, as if he wanted to keep it stable for the moment where you would finally take the initiative to do something with it. Face to your lack of confidence, Tom decided to lay on the table a few propositions. “Do you want to taste it?” He asked on a lustful tone, his lips visibly still craving for your skin. Now this was an offer which didn’t really strike your interest. You couldn’t help but feel grossed out at the thought of having a penis in your mouth, especially without a condom- at least for your first try. Your answer ended up being a shake of your head, forcing Tom to reach out to another option.

“Oh well...” he groaned, head diverting to the left in order to peak through the window before he managed to find another task, this once destined to your delicate fingers. His face turned towards yours, smile appearing on his handsome features as he began to hold onto your hips in a reassuring manner. “How about you pet it?” Tom offered. Now, this sounded more inviting. After all, there was nothing which was being put at risk, and your tastebuds would get the chance to remain safe for now. Besides, you also wished to know how it felt to hold it in your palm. Was it going to be warmer than you expected? Would it feel smooth? Would it be as hard as you had imagine? This was the moment where you would get to find out.

So many questions rushed through your mind as the tip of your finger finally pressed against his sensitive shaft. A shaky breath escaped Tom’s lips as he watched your hand progressively begin to work, as if he wanted to make sure you wouldn’t fuck it all up by accidentally injuring him. As planned, it was rocking hard and warmer than ever. However, Tom’s shaft wasn’t as smooth as you had imagine, which in the end wasn’t much of a disappointment. Your entire hand now wrapped around his member, trapping the hardness within your fingers and even allowing yourself to hesitantly pump it once.

Again, a shaky breath escaped Tom’s lips as you could sense that the grip he held onto your clothed flesh was becoming tighter. You felt grateful that he hadn’t pushed you so that you would remove your clothes, as self negative body image was still something you attempted to deal with. Though, you couldn’t be more delighted about getting to see private and usually covered parts of his body. “Don’t be too harsh with it.. take your time.” Tom advised, anticipating a situation where you would be rushing to pleasure him instead of taking time to progressively increase in intensity.

Nodding obediently, you looked down at your hand before gently beginning to move it up and down the best you could- remaining slow and soft at first as you feared to accidentally hurt your friend. A few seconds passed and a couple of visual signs began to appear to your eyesight which betrayed the fact that Tom was enjoying it- such as his breath getting heavier or the way he seemed to melt into the backseat. “Darling... you’re doing god’s work..” praised the older man, his head tilting back towards the roof of the car which exposed his strong neck to your sight.

Even if you weren’t directly being pleased, you couldn’t help but feel your own crotch throb and squirm face to this rather enhancing situation. Your hand continued to eagerly pump Tom’s member, refusing to slow down as you somewhat enjoyed watching his facial expressions change through the intercourse. “Oh, my love... you’re doing so- well.” Tom managed to express between a few clenched moans and groans, his hands firmly holding onto your hips as you continued to please his member. “My good girl.” He added, taking time to make eye contact with you as his hand cupped your cheek in a loving manner.

You could sense that his hardness was now beginning to twitch more than usual, feelings waves against your palm which enhanced your will to lead him to his orgasm. A itchy gasp suddenly escaped Tom’s lips as he looked down at his crotch, droplets of cum squirting out of his urethra before landing on and staining his own pants and your hand. Your youth and eagerness had managed to make Tom climax sooner than he thought he would, yet he remained entirely satisfied by your successful prestation.

“Fuck..” cursed the older man as he felt his balls twitch, his genitals washing away his recent orgasm until the last droplet. You bit down on your bottom lip whilst setting his member free, properly settling back down onto his lap as your eyes looked up at Tom’s clenched facial expressions. Panting heavily, your friend made eye contact with you, admiring your features as his hand remained holding onto your waist.

I’m sorry it took so long, but here it finally is! I’m not very happy with it.. but I hope you guys will be able to enjoy it!

Loki Laufeyson | the portrait

Loki Laufeyson x fem!reader

plot : after managing to escape the grandmaster’s court for a brief moment, you successfully land into the most peaceful quarters of his building. However, someone else’s presence soon catches your attention and awakens your artistic soul. How would Loki react face to someone drawing his portrait?

warnings : brief mention of orgies and smut.

You had gotten to Sakaar barely a couple of months ago after you had lost track of your group of survivors. Thankfully, you had been greeted by the grandmaster and his court and was allowed to stay as one of them instead of having to fight for your life wether it was in the suburbs or the deadly arena. If the lifestyle seemed correct at first, you couldn’t help but grow disturbed with time the more the grandmaster would insist for you to participate in one of his daily polygamist sexual intercourse. You had been able to resist at first, but it was getting harder and harder for you to say no to his face. Therefore, you ended up having to escape here and there to make sure you wouldn’t be dragged into any of those unwanted orgies.

Entering the library, you made sure to close the door behind yourself in order to avoid being spotted by any of the guards, or anyone in fact, as again you did not wish to be spotted. Though your eyes were soon to fall onto the familiar silhouette that was Loki’s sitting in one of the comfortable chairs. He was religiously dedicated to the book he held open in his hands, his blue orbs scanning the pages he was attentively reading. Now, to someone who’s always thought that he was handsome, getting to be by yourself in his presence felt intimidating but also ravishing.

Intentionally playing hard to get, you remained silent and stepped over one of the tables before taking a seat as your hands dragged your travel bag onto the work surface. Within a couple of seconds, you managed to get your notebook and pencil out of the confines of the bag. You had always been a wonderful artist, though you always kept your artworks to yourself due to the fear of judgment. Besides, you believed that art also tended to be a very personal creation- which you did not wish to share with anyone at the moment. Your mind now started to wonder about what or who you should be drawing onto one of the clear pieces of paper.

As your eyes looked up at Loki’s familiar silhouette, a marvelous idea suddenly popped up in your creative mind. His nice curves and features were exactly what you needed in order to produce a nice illustration. Your pencil soon began to trace lines, forming shapes and shadows onto the once blank piece of paper. Loki remained concentrated onto his book, not even taking the pain to look up at you as he believed that doing so would’ve been nothing but useless. Besides, it was barely as if he had even noticed your presence. In fact, the male had came in here for the same reason as you did- which was something you remained unaware of.

A couple of minutes later you had managed to arrive to a rather advanced point in your art, the handsome figure of Loki now being recognizable onto the sheet. You smiled down at your notebook, enjoying to look down at your own work as much as you would’ve enjoyed to stare at the god of mischief for hours. Too lost in your thoughts to notice that someone was coming, you failed to notice Loki’s footstep approaching the table you sat at until it was too late for you to back away or hide the drawing in your bag. The man could tell that you hadn’t acknowledged his close presence, and willingly clapped his book close in order to catch your attention as soon as he had reached the table.

Your eyes widened slightly upon hearing this harsh sound, head tilting upwards as your orbs first landed onto the sight of Loki’s infamous suit. Gasping, you managed to gather the strength you would certainly need in order to look up at his face. He was looking down at you bluntly, a rather offensive judgmental look displayed on his facial features. Thankfully he began to talk before you could loose yourself into shame and embarrassment. “Do I know you?” He firstly asked as your arms sneakily moved up in order to cover the open notebook. You still kept hope that he hadn’t spot the drawing yet.

Frowning gently, you sat up in order to appear a little more confident before answering his question. “Umh.. I don’t know. I don’t think so.” You responded on a low tone, attempting to hide your embarrassment by briefly looking away. Loki’s eyes squinted, suspicion displaying in his blue orbs. “No.. I think I do.” He insisted, now taking a couple of steps to the left as his silhouette dangerously began to move closer to yours. Again, you gasped, anxiety rushing through your veins as you feared that he would now notice your piece of art. “You’re part of the grandmaster’s harem.” Loki teased- as if himself wasn’t being tracked down by you the twisted man.

You simply sighed, not even bothering to speak up in order to prove him wrong as you could sense that the god of mischief would always find a way to make you feel as if you was the one who was speaking bollocks. Though as his body stopped behind yours and his back arched slightly over your shoulder, Loki finally noticed the presence of his drawn figure onto your notebook. Without bothering to ask, he moved your arms away before picking up the book which contained many pieces of artwork. “Hey, wait-“ you begged, attempting to reach up to the notebook before he could take it away from you. Unfortunately, Loki turned out to be faster than you thought.

“What is this?” He asked with furrowed eyebrows, attentively analyzing every single line your pencil had previously drawn. Again, you didn’t bother to answer, looking up at him with fear in your eyes face to his potential upcoming reaction. However, instead of becoming angry, Loki’s facial features became unexpectedly sensitive. The man was now the one to gasp nervously, switching from looking down at the drawing and diverting his gaze to your motionless silhouette. “You-..” he stuttered, barely being able to find the proper words to explain how he felt without seeming like too much of a softie. Now, this situation offered you hope regarding the fact that maybe he might just feel thankful for your work.

But again, Loki took an unexpected turn when he decided to tear the page off your notebook before crumpling it within his palms. A desperate sigh escaped your lips, as you obviously remained unaware that anger was his way of expressing unwanted, strong and empathetic emotions. In that case, Loki felt grateful that someone had taken time to draw his figure- yet the last thing he wished was for you to find out about it. “Aw come on, that was a sucky move.” You spoke on an upset tone as it had taken you love and time to finish this drawing. He ruthlessly dropped the notebook down onto the table, though suspiciously continued to hold the scrambled piece of paper in his right hand.

Pointing his index finger towards your face, a frustrated sigh escaped his lips which was followed by a simple threat. “Don’t come near me.” Loki warned, his mindset doing anything that was in its power to keep love and affection away from him. Though the truth was that Loki did want love, but was simply too scared to ever approach it. Besides, he felt as if he wouldn’t truly know how to manipulate this emotion he wasn’t familiar with : and it frightened him. Upon those words being said, the god of mischief turned around before exiting the library at a decisive pace, the doors closing behind his determined silhouette as you were now left in this large room all by yourself. A sigh escaped your lips as you picked your notebook up from where Loki had dropped it.

Meanwhile, the god of mischief made sure to walk far away enough from the library’s doors before stopping beside a column, hands unfolding the crumpled piece of paper as his blue orbs now took a proper amount of time to admire your drawing. Though the demigod made sure to look from his left to his right once in a while, fearing to be caught in the act. He obviously regretted being so harsh towards this amazing piece of art, and his heart couldn’t help but crave for more of this drawn affection.

Tom Hiddleston x fem!reader ( poem )

Author’s note : this is different from what I usually write as it resembles a poem. But I really wanted to post something tonight! It’s rather short and I’d appreciate if you guys took five minutes out of your time to read it! <3

plot : just your thoughts about everything you love and dislike in your long term partner Tom Hiddleston.

warnings : mention of smut, bLa bLa bLa

You remained aware that like any human being, Tom possessed as many flaws as he did possess qualities. Though, the mix of those two assets created a balance which brought you comfort through your long term relationship.

You love the way Tom makes sure to turn around in the morning so that your face is the first thing he sees after waking up- the way his facial features accentuate as he smiles down at your sleepy self.

You love the way his arms wrap around you to pull you in for a well deserved hug, the warmth of his body penetrating inside of your sensitive organism which immediately starts to crave for more coming from him.

You love the way the two of you can spend hours laying by each other’s side, snuggled underneath the comforting warmth of the covers as you’re able to hear his loud heartbeat echo through your ear.

You love it when Tom surprises you with breakfast in bed, and how he never fails to bring you a hot chocolate instead of coffee for you to enjoy.

You love the way he always finds time to shoot you a text whenever he’s away or busy filming, and the way he uses random emojis he doesn’t necessarily understand the meaning of to describe casual every day events and actions.

You love how Tom often decides to bake for the two of you, and how he can clearly notice whenever you’re lying to him about enjoying the roasted portion he served you.

You love the old style nicknames your boyfriend always gives you which you carry with pride, allowing him to call you by whatever name he wishes to.

You praise the romantic nights the two of you can spend together, switching from drinking wine to offering yourselves to one another.

You long for the way Tom and his gestures makes you feel, the way he manages to make your body fill with lust and bliss.

You easily became addicted to his touch and words, how his large hands would caress your body in the most respectful manner, leading you to purr like an inexperienced kitten.

You love the way he can sense that he has power over you, both mentally and physically, yet never once dared to take advantage of your weaker being.

Tom is a gentleman who knows how to please you, being aware that his length is the perfect size to pleasure your sensitive cavity.

You love the way his tongue willingly collides with your entrance, how it makes your back harsh as your fingers clench against the bedsheets in remembrance.

You adore the scent of his expensive cologne which easily impregnated the bedsheets- a smell you will probably be able to remember forever as it had taken over your mind and organism plenty of times by now.

You hate it when Tom doesn’t remove his shoes after coming home; and the way you always have to remind him that he needs to take them off.

You feel irritated when Tom refuses to help you out after a long day, how he sits on the sofa whilst you make dinner by yourself.

You hate it when Tom makes you cry, the way the two of you turn your back to each other after you just argued.

You despise the way he can always tell when you lie, how his blue eyes penetrate through your orbs as if he was reading and picking informations right out of your mind.

You hate the way he is always right, and how it saved you from a cruel fate a couple of times.

You hate the way his thumb wipes away your tear, the way he looks at you after you just cried, though nothing but empathy reflects in his eyes.

You love the way his lips press against yours and how he never judges you- marking the end of the issue with nothing but a kiss for you.

You love Tom and his entire being : his flaws, his qualities.

You love Tom.

Tom Hiddleston x fem!reader

plot : after ruining his career as an actor, Tom believed that you would be the only remaining thing capable of keeping him on the run. Unfortunately, the tough months spent away from his beloved job allowed a new person to invade your family : alcohol. One night, after hanging out with friends, you come home to a drunk Tom who lets you know about more than you thought you knew regarding his situation.

warnings : mention of drinking, LoWkey alcoholism, domestic argument, mention of ( accidental ) death, angst, and sad stuff too.

It had been a rough couple of months for the two of you, especially regarding maintaining a healthy lifestyle for your toddler daughter. Loosing his job, his hobby, his passion, had created a hole in Tom’s life which couldn’t potentially be filled by anything else in the world. Being forced to stay home was something he despised, especially as it gave him time to clearly notice how downhill he was heading. Yet the former actor had no choice but to take care of your daughter as you was now the one to work in order to feed the three of you. It would’ve been too good to be true for Tom to manage to keep his saves stable after he was cancelled, which was what forced you to look for a job and begin to work as soon as you could- and that mostly for the sake of your young child.

You were coming home from an evening hangout with two of your friends, a smile on your face as it had actually managed to distract you from the rough day you spent at work. You believed it was nice for you to allow yourself to reach out for an escape once in a while- a safe place where you could be isolated from work, and home. Though, never once did you imagine that your evening would be unexpectedly ruined by Tom’s pathetic condition which awaited behind your front door, and that even if it had happened a couple of times by now.

Pushing the keys into the door lock, you twisted it a couple of times before pushing the door open, dropping your rather heavy bag in the entrance of the apartment. You then closed the door behind you, as silently as you could of course as you did not wish to awaken your most likely asleep daughter. Besides, as it was late, there were chances that Tom was probably asleep too. The thought of this blissful projection made you crave to join him in bed and cuddle for a couple of minutes before drifting off to sleep- yet reality would resemble nothing close to those nice thoughts.

You were surprised by the clumsy arrival of Tom in the living room where you now stood, a smile on his face as he stumbled until your silhouette in order to kiss your cheek and neck. He was suspiciously eager, and was talking way too loud for someone who was aware that a toddler was asleep a couple of meters away. It didn’t take you long to notice the reflux of alcohol escaping his lips as he talked against your face, on top of that in a rather lazy and relaxed manner. A sigh escaped you, disappointment showing on your face as your palms pressed against his chest.

“Hey.. why so pushy? I want you..” Tom affirmed between a few sloppy kisses whilst he attempted to shove your wrists back down, though you decided to simply take a step back in order to let him know you didn’t feel at your ease. He looked down at you with frowned brows, seemingly not understanding why you were behaving this way. Meanwhile, you shot him a desperate look, sadness filling your organism and mind upon realizing that, once again, he was drunk and that therefore you would certainly not receive this cuddling session you were craving for.

“Come on, let’s just go to bed..” you ended up offering sadly, taking a rather strong hold of his sleeve before beginning to try to drag him back towards your shared bedroom. Unfortunately, the British man turned out to be more feisty than you thought he would be. Tom tugged his own forearm away from your grip, leading you to sigh out in annoyance whilst you turned back around in order to face him. He held a rather distressed and angered look on his face, which you acknowledged but decided to put to the side for now.

“Look, Tom, I had a very tiring day at work, and this is something I simply don’t ne-..” you began tiredly until you got cut off by your drunk partner. You could smell the alcohol right out of his lips from where you stood as he spoke and complained. “Oh because you work? And I’m here all day, taking care of Cassidy? That’s- unfair!” Tom explained, nearly stumbling over as he pointed his index finger at you. However, you decided not give in his little attitude session. “Yes, because you are her father and she needs you. Now come on, please!” You begged, trying your best to keep a rather low tone in order to maintain your daughter’s sleep. The last thing you needed right now was for her to wake up.

“And I’m just a piece of shit.. right.. well maybe you shouldn’t have married me!” Tom affirmed, his voice increasing as he pronounced the last words with open arms as if he was leading some sort of press conference. His eyes had also widened, chest slightly bent over as if he was truly trying to catch your devoted attention. Your first reflex face to this rise of attitude was to shush him down. “Shhh! You’re going to wake the baby up!” You affirmed angrily before beginning to hear cries and sobs coming from Cassidy’s room. Your orbs looked up at your husband’s face, pure disappointment reflecting in your eyes.

“Well done.” You sighed out with a shrug, turning around as you began to head towards your daughter’s bedroom. However, Tom once again solicited your attention. “I’m so- fucking sick.. of you talking to me like that!” He affirmed whilst pointing at you, nearly stumbling over as he barely took a few steps forward. Even if you had promised not to entertain his madness, you couldn’t help but turn around once again in order to continue this useless conversation. “Like what? Like what, Tom?!” You responded on a drained tone, not being able to maintain your patience any longer as this overall situation was truly beginning to get on your nerves. You were tired and desperately wanted to rest.

“Like.. like.. like I’m a looser!” Your husband replied with glistening eyes, clear pain popping up in his voice tone as you could tell that he wasn’t only speaking regarding you- but mostly regarding the rest of the world. Though his facial expression remained angrier than any other emotions. Once again, a sigh escaped your lips. “I don’t even know what you’re on about...” you responded, feeling more than exhausted by his nonsense statements. You obviously had never considered him as a loser, and the paranoia he fed with alcohol was truly beginning to affect you.

“I can’t live like that anymore! I need to go out, I need to act!” He explained on a drunk tone, accentuating his words in a ridiculous manner. His entire prestation resembled a theater play, thankfully with no audience to see it. Now, his excess of complains struck anger within your soul, especially as he refused to admit the reason to why the two of you were now so unhappy. You dared to take a step forward, catching the older man off guard and leading him to go mute. He looked down at you in confusion, being on the edge of backing away as unexpected fear was staring to take over his weakened organism.

“Tell me... Do you think we would be here if you hadn’t gotten drunk that night? Do you think we would be here if you hadn’t decided to drive?” You asked angrily, blaming him for his past mistakes which led the two of you to end up in that petty situation. Face to being exposed, Tom groaned and looked away in an uncomfortable manner. Though, you decided to go further and further, until you would come to the point where he would accept to face reality and apologize for his actions. After all, he was the only one to blame.

“If you had been more careful about the kind of people surrounding you? Do you think we would be here if you hadn’t... ran over that child?” You couldn’t help but allow tears to fill your saddened eyes. This event marked a very tough spot of your life, and mentioning it had always been a very hard thing to do ever since. “Answer me!” You blamed angrily, earning nothing coming from your husband but a shake of his head as he covered his ears with his palms. Just like you, he had a very hard time discussing about this topic.

You shook your head too, looking up and down at his silhouette before taking a few step backwards in anticipation to the moment where you would be joining Cassidy’s room. “Those people out there, you’ve lost them forever. It’s over. So now, you better start focusing on the ones that truly matter : your family. Get your shit together, for fuck’s sake.” You begged before exiting the living room. It was about time for you to arrive in Cassidy’s bedroom, as the toddler had turned red from excessive crying. Of course you gently picked her up, pressing her against your chest before beginning to gently rock her towards calm and sleep.

Tom whimpered sadly, shame filling his organism in remembrance of what he’s done. He allowed his body to fall back onto the couch, tired tears streaming down his pale face. As a father himself, he knew that he’d never be able to forgive himself for what he’s done- as it was an unforgivable accident- and that even if it was accidental. Alcohol helped him to forget, now it was a shame it only worked for a couple of hours before allowing the negative thoughts to race right back into his mind.