#logicallyemotional

Jim Kirk: Things had been.... Less than ideal since Spock went off to assist on New Vulcan. Jim knew his half-Vulcan first officer was needed more there than on the Enterprise, but that didn't mean he missed him any less. Sulu had become his new First Officer, and even though he was excellent at balancing that and being helmsman, he was no Spock. Which explained Jim's less than lively mood at the bar that evening. Tonight would have marked the two year anniversary of being assigned the Enterprise, but he just wasn't in the mood to celebrate.

Spock: A Vulcan was always an unusual sight in a bar. A Vulcan wearing billowy black robes with hair over an inch longer than was customary around outsiders was beyond a rarity. When Spock didn't find Jim aboard the Enterprise he knew just where to look for him. Sure enough, the man sat at the bar sulking. It was all too easy to glide over unnoticed. "Is visiting bars alone a new past time of yours Captain?" 

Jim Kirk: "Look, I'm not-" Jim turned to give a good amount of snark to whomever it was talking to him, but he froze when he saw the familiar face. "....Spock?" His voice was hushed, as if speaking louder would break the spell. After a few seconds the realization that this was real hit him, and he jumper up from the bar stool. "Oh my god! Spock! Where-... When did you get back? How did you know we were even at this planet?" 

Spock: Where Jim was visibly emotional, Spock was the picture of calmness. "It is never difficult to find your home, even if it is not where you expect it to be." There was a spark of amusement in his eyes as he looked at his dumbfounded captain. Perhaps even the warmth of affection. 

Jim Kirk: Jim's heart fluttered, and before he could help himself he'd wrapped his arms around the Vulcan. "I missed you. It's not the same without you on the Enterprise." He mumbled softly, holding Spock close despite all the strange looks they were getting. 

Spock: Having gone so long without holding Jim, Spock initially stiffened. It was not long before he warmed into the embrace, wrapping his arms around his captain and letting his expression soften visibly. "I have missed you too Jim." 

Jim Kirk: For a moment Jim worried when Spock didn't return the embrace, but he relaxed when he felt Spock's arms around him. "Sulu's a good officer, don't get me wrong. But he's no Spock.... And I keep forgetting to turn my night temperature settings down, do I end up waking up in the night because I'm too hot." 

Spock: The amusement in his eyes spread to the tone of his voice. "Some habits once established are difficult to break. I have returned now, so you should feel more comfortable while you sleep." Spock knew he most certainly would as well, having gotten so used to being by Jim's side when he slept and finding he missed it greatly in his absence. 

Jim Kirk: After about a minute, Jim stepped back and gently rested his hands on Spock's face. "You let your hair grow out. It's nice." If he was being honest, Jim liked Spock's old haircut much better. But if the Vulcan wanted it like this, Jim wouldn't complain. 

Spock: Spock allowed his eyes to shut while he drank in the warm emotions from Jim's touch. His fingers danced near Spock's meld points, which sent a thrill down his spine. "The maintainence of its length became too superficial while dealing with the needs of the Vulcan colony. I of course will trim it once I officially resume my duties aboard the Enterprise." 

Jim Kirk: "Can I kiss you?" He asked softly, knowing Spock didn't like PDA but not really wanting to wait until they were alone. Spock was here with him again, and it almost hurt to think about letting him go. Even long enough to beam back aboard and get to their quarters. 

Spock: He hesitated. He was still uncomfortable with PDA, even among strangers. A quick glance around the bar showed that no one was looking in their direction however, and he decided to go further against the expected behavior of a Vulcan. "Yes," he answered simply. He knew Jim would not abuse the opportunity to be publicly affectionate with him. 

Jim Kirk: Jim smiled when Spock gave him permission, and his heart seemed to leap in his chest. Gently he pulled Spock's face to his, softly pressing their lips together in a loving kiss. Though he wanted to infuse the kiss with every ounce of passion and every minute of loneliness from Spock's absence, Jim held back. They'd have time later to get reacquainted. 

Spock: Spock leaned forward into the kiss just enough to meet Jim's lips with his own. Another thrill ran down his spine and sent a burst of tingles through his limbs. So soon around Jim and he was already feeling his controls begin to slip. What influence this man had on him! He lingered as long as he dared before pulling back slightly. "We can continue this in earnest in private if you wish. Unless you have your heart set on public imbibing alcohol this evening." 

Jim Kirk: "Kirk to Enterprise." Jim grinned, answering Spock without actually answering him. "Yes, Mister Scott, Spock found me. We'd like to come back home now. Do me a favour, beam us straight to my quarters. i have a feeling Spock doesn't want the crew to see him out of uniform with his hair uncut." 

Spock: As glad as he was for Jim's thoughtfulness, he was also not keen on him letting on so much to Mister Scott. He heard Mister Scott give an affirmation and watched as the world and Jim dissolved away. Jim reformed before his eyes, as did Jim's quarters. Only then did he more openly and enthusiastically embrace Jim, face buried in his shoulder. 

Jim Kirk: Once they were back in Jim's quarters, he held nothing back. Spock was already embracing him, and Jim held tightly as he pressed soft kisses to the Vulcan's neck. "Spock.... I felt so empty with you gone. When I was on duty it was alright, but whenever I was off duty I just felt... Lost. Not being able to touch you, or meld with you, or even just see your face. 

Spock: "I too experienced a noticeable void when I was not keeping active." There was a slight tremble to his voice that he didn't bother to hide. "Meditation only worked if I submerged myself deep enough to feel nothing. That level of meditation was exceedingly difficult to achieve." He stopped thinking about how he must look and let his actions speak for him. His arms squeezed around Jim, a hand lifting to stroke his hair. 

Jim Kirk: Jim lifted his head and took a small step back. Just enough to be able to look Spock in the eyes. "I, um.... I was thinking. While you were gone." A slight flush spread across his cheeks, and he cleared his throat slightly. "About that... Ceremony. Ritual. Thing. The thing where you...." 

Spock: Spock was able to devise what Jim meant easily, as he had considered it too. "Yes, I know of the one you are referring to." He tilted his head to the side and looked longingly at Jim. He wanted it very much, but... "You are certain?" 

Jim Kirk: He nodded without hesitation, moving his hands back to Spock's face and staring into his eyes. "I don't want to be away from you again. I want to know I can contact you with just a thought." Jim's eyes were tearing up without him even realizing it or quite understanding why. "Please, Spock. We've talking about it before, and I know you're scared about it, but I want this with you. Life is pain, but if we don't open up ourselves to the possibility of pain then we'll never really live." 

Spock: Sincerity flooded him from Jim, so much so that he was taken aback by the rush of emotions. He lifted a hand, hesitated, then with more certainty put it onto Jim's face. "It is irreversable," he said, knowing Jim's mind was already made up. "At least, it cannot be reversed without great risk to us both. There essentially would be no turning back." 

Jim Kirk: "I don't want to turn back or reverse it." Jim assured him, not sure if he was supposed to keep his hands on Spock's face or not. The Vulcan never actually told him the process of the bond before. Maybe because it opened up that door of actually doing it. "If you have doubts, I don't want to push you into it. But I love you. More than I've loved anything or anyone. And I want you forever." 

Spock: Spock relaxed, nodding at Jim. "Then we should move to the bed, so that you can be more comfortable." He motioned over to the bed behind Jim, his thumb gently stroking the other man's cheek. 

Jim Kirk: He nodded, leaning forward to give Spock a loving kiss before moving to sit on the bed. "How does this work? Do we need to be mid-coitus, because I would not object to that." Jim teased with a smirk, knowing full well that Vulcan rituals wouldn't involve sex. Except for Pon Farr, but that was different. 

Spock: "Coitus is not necessary for the ritual, though it can sometimes be an unintentional catalyst." He sat down next to Jim, reaching out to put a hand on his knee. "If you wish, we can consummate the connection after it is formed. I would not object to that either." Again the glint of amusement shone in his eyes. 

Jim Kirk: "Consummate the marriage, hm?" Jim smirked a little, giving Spock another long kiss. His heart was pounding at the thought of being mentally linked to Spock forever, but it was from excitement not fear. Of course there was a bit of nervousness, but Jim knew he wanted this. "I'm ready." 

Spock: Much as he enjoyed the kisses from his beloved, there would be plenty of time for them later. He sat on the bed, not touching Jim so that he could center himself. When he felt his mind was prepared for the task, he reached out and gently positioned his fingers on the meld points on Jim's face. "Then we shall begin." 

Jim Kirk: Jim closed his eyes like every time they melded, and he did his best to clear his mind. This time he focused on the sound of ocean waves to calm himself and rid his mind of excess thoughts. But it was a bit more difficult than the usual meld, considering this one would be forever. 

Spock: Spock took a deep breath and spoke the ancient words. There was the usual pull into Jim's mind, and the warmth that surrounded him once inside. However he was searching for something, a tenuous connection he'd seen faintly during their more recent melds. When he found it he spoke to Jim through the meld. ​Turn your focus fully to me and your affection for me.​ 

Jim Kirk: ​Of course.​ Jim switched his thoughts to those of Spock. Their first kiss, the first time they told each other that they loved the other, and all sorts of other moments together that weren't out of the ordinary but to Jim each one was special. He felt Spock's tendrils in his mind, and he reached out for them with his thoughts, focusing on their love for each other. 

Spock: Jim made it all too easy. Or perhaps, their bond was already strong enough to make the final fusion less trying on both of them. Spock almost eagerly reached out to Jim, his own mind replaying the moments where his emotions ran especially high and strong for the other man. When the two met their bond flashed white through both their minds until it was all they could see. There was no pain, but their bond had become blindingly bright. 

Jim Kirk: He squinted at the brightness even though his eyes were closed. It wasn't painful, it was actually... Almost a warmth. And Jim could feel it spreading its way through his body. As the bond spread through him the brightness in his mind faded until things had returned to normal. When he opened his eyes, he noticed Spock's hand was no longer on his face, but he could still feel the man in his mind. A spark of joy ran through him, though he wasn't sure if that was from himself or Spock. "It'll take a while to figure out which emotion belongs to who, huh?" 

Spock: "Indeed," Spock replied. There was a tone to his voice that hadn't been heard before, something on the verge of sounding elated. His lips were dangerously close to a smile, but Spock kept the expression tightly under control. He knew Jim would know his true feelings without him having to wear them upon his face. Although, he wasn't entirely certain the feeling was fully his own. "In the meantime, we should keep our shared emotions positive so as not to strain our newly formed bond." 

"So you have," he said without a trace of disapproval. "It is a wonderful thought, settling down with you in such a way. As for the wedding, I am sure Starfleet would be thrilled at the opportunity to show their two most successful young officers joining in marriage to the Federation. No doubt they would seek to use it as a sort of advertisement for enlisting." He smiled softly. "That would mean a great many people joining in our happiness."

Jim looked up with a surprised smile when Spock didn't seem to disapprove of his thoughts. "Yeah.... Join Starfleet, you'll find your soulmate. Pretty good way to get people to join up."

"Undoubtedly." Sure, Spock had his reservations and concerns, but they had no place here and now. Jim had opened up to him; he wished to embrace that instead of tearing it down.

"I mean, I know it won't be for a while. Years, maybe. And settling down is at least a few decades away. But.... One day. And until that one day, I'm happy just having you like I do now." Jim shifted a little, resting his forehead against Spock's. "My t'hy'la."

Spock's heart flipped at his side. He wrapped his arms around Jim and gave him a light squeeze. "Here and now, you are my dearest. No matter what comes, you have my heart."

"I'll be happy even if we don't get married in any way. And if we grow old together on this ship, not on an acreage." Jim placed his fingers on Spock's face, knowing the meld didn't work both ways but sending his thoughts as best he could. "As long as I get to be with you, I'm happy."

His eyes fell closed. He drank in Jim's words and thoughts, feeling his face grow warm. "I feel the same. So long as you are with me, what we do is irrelevant."

He hummed softly, feeling Spock's warmth under his fingers. "Careful, Mister Spock. Get all romantic like that, and I may be overcome with emotion. And one way or another, it'll end with me on my knees."

He opened his eyes, a mischievous grin threatening to spread on his face. "In my experience, nothing ill has come from you being on your knees."

"Oo, cheeky Vulcan." Jim laughed, taking Spock's left hand and kissing the base of his ring finger. "Don't tempt me, or I'll get on one knee then I'll get down on both knees."

A shudder ran through him, his eyes on Jim's lips. "You say that as though I would be remiss of that outcome. Just what must I do to ensure it happens?"

Jim shifted a little as Spock stared at him. "I.... I don't have a ring." He mumbled softly, not sure if Spock was being serious.

Spock took a moment to ponder this, then recalled something about human courting rituals. "You do have your academy ring, yes?"

He glanced around his quarters, trying to remember where he'd put it. "Uh.... Yeah, it's here somewhere. Probably in a little box in the third drawer." He nodded toward the in-wall drawers that held his clothes.

"Then in some form, you do have a ring." He looked at Jim, his expression quite serious.

"Do you....." He swallowed a little, glancing from Spock to the drawers and back. "....I thought you were gonna propose to me. Wasn't that the deal? Some sweeping romantic gesture that makes me cry?"

"Yes, and that is still the intention. For the sake of ceremony though, you could present me with a 'promise' of what will soon come for us both."

He smiled a little. "A promise ring. How human." Jim teased, pressing a kiss to Spock's lips and going to the drawer. He dug around for a minute, finally finding the box in the second not third drawer, and soon finding the ring inside. On the top was the classic Academy seal, but on the sides had his graduating year and his surname. "Ha. Knew I still had it."

Spock's heart beat quickened once Jim found the ring, a reaction he hadn't anticipated. "I hopefully guessed correctly that you would appreciate the sentiment."

Jim moved back to Spock slowly, a goofy smile plastered on his face even though he tried to act serious. Gradually he moved down to one knee, holding the ring up towards Spock. "My dear Commander Spock. My t'hy'la. My love. Would you do me the honour of making me a promise tonight? A promise that states that one day (hopefully soon), you will sweep me off my feet with an amazing proposal that fills my eyes with tears and my heart with joy. To which I promise to answer yes, if it's well thought out and moving. Will you make that promise for me?"

His internal reaction was one similar to the beating of wings in his stomach and at his side where his heart beat. He took a breath, extending his left hand, and giving a nod. "I will."

He grinned wider, if that was even possible. This wasn't even the real proposal, but Jim already felt prickling behind his eyes that was usually followed by tears. Jim carefully slid the ring on Spock's finger, making sure to wiggle it a little just to get the Vulcan all riled up. "Now, no playing with that unless I'm around. This isn't a sex toy, Commander."