#lmmblogging

but the thing i noticed immediately is that marilla is 100 percent charmed by anne from the jump, and it shows up in her behavior in a way that anne responds to! her judgments are thoughtful and compassionate, even if they are a little stiff at times, and she very clearly always has anne's best interests at heart. compare this to aunt elizabeth, who takes emily on with this very up-front attitude of "i'm doing this because it's my responsibility to do this," spends basically half the book alternating between trying to Fix all the things that are Wrong With Emily, telling emily that there are things Wrong With Her, and disciplining emily based on knee-jerk reactions that come from her own unresolved emotional issues and generational trauma -- and at the same time, at the very core of her, what motivates her is not wrath or dislike but fear! she has noooooo idea how to handle this little baby girl (like marilla) and nooooo idea that she even CARES about this little baby girl (UNLIKE marilla) and it's this lethal combination that means that emily is just totally convinced that aunt elizabeth is burdened by her.

and yet there are these tiny tiny little touches in emily of new moon that rattle me and warm my heart. soooo silly and sweet, but when emily comes back from visiting great-aunt nancy, aunt elizabeth's made her favorite cream puffs. aunt elizabeth is the one who emily trusts to do right by her, because if she promises, she means it. it's especially Much when juxtaposed with aunt laura, who showers emily with all sorts of warm and cuddly love but isn't actually any kind of material support against aunt elizabeth outside of being like "it sucks that she treats you like this :("

the thing that gets me too about emily and aunt elizabeth is like ..... they really want to be loved by each other but they feel embarrassed by that fact? aunt elizabeth when we first meet her "doesn't want to be snubbed" by emily; emily despite all the insanity and weirdness of aunt elizabeth has one of her deepest moments of shame and sadness when she realizes she's actually deeply hurt her.

i mean she expresses it like -- “And I’ll love you, Aunt Elizabeth, if you’ll let me—if you want me to. I didn’t think you cared. Dear Aunt Elizabeth.”

what an insane thing to say! i am clawing at walls! love that's held back because you're scared it's not wanted! love that's not felt because you're scared you aren't lovable! there is SO MUCH to unpack there and i just .... do not feel that level of vicious defensive insanity exists between anne and marilla! they just love each other! which is an equally valid and lovely narrative but does not make me want to like roam the moors breaking plates or whatever.

Another nice chapter! Valancy is finally living the good life, as she deserves.

And she's not idle. Remember how her mother made her write in a little notebook every minute she spent in idleness? Now she keeps herself busy without anyone forcing her to, or any guilt tripping. Obvs she works for living, but she also finds pleasure in her work, for the first time in her life. Making those quilts was meaningless (which really, what were they for, they could have donated some of them to poor families, which at least would have given Valancy a small feeling of joy). And she has time to appreciate the world around her and takes Cissy for walks!

Valancy had read to Cissy the gospel thereof according to John Foster: “It is a pity to gather wood-flowers. They lose half their witchery away from the green and the flicker. The way to enjoy wood-flowers is to track them down to their remote haunts—gloat over them—and then leave them with backward glances, taking with us only the beguiling memory of their grace and fragrance.”

Photograph them, that's what you do, you photograph them. Well, that's what I do, lol. (Side note, I think LMM liked a bit of photography and she sometimes has characters take pictures, but not one of her main heroines.)

“Folks should always sing at their work,” he insisted. “Sounds cheerful-like.” “Not always,” retorted Valancy. “Fancy a butcher singing at his work. Or an undertaker.”

Actually. I'd like to hear that.

She gets to joke with Roaring Abel and even sasses him back. And tells him off for tracking mud. She's a new woman.

Poor little Cissy... is there an AU where she doesn't get so sick or recovers?

"I don’t think you are strong yourself. You turn so pale sometimes. And those drops you take. Are you well, dear?”

Here we have someone showing genuine care for Valancy. Not pumping her with fucking Redfern Bitters. (Idk why but the 'those drops you take--are you well, dear?' just gets me.)

One of the thoughts Valancy had during her Dark Night of the Soul was that she never had a bestie. Yet here is Cissy Gay, who would have been happy to be that to her. She correctly guesses Valancy had a dear pretty secret. They could have been like Anne and Diana--think about the lifetime of sweet and happy memories they have been robbed off. Or don't think about it, bc you'll get depressed.

At least they got to spend Cissy's final weeks/months together. Valancy tells Cissy about her Blue Castle and Cissy not only doesn't ridicule the idea--she understands.

She did not tell Valancy—then—who had destroyed her Blue Castle. But Valancy knew that, whoever it was, it was not Barney Snaith.

A very short chapter, especially considering yesterday's giant! I like it bc it gives me a sense of peace and quiet that I cannot explain. It's Valancy on her own, for the first time since her Dark Night of the Soul. I think it's the words faint blue twilight that set the mood for me.

I reckon the attack is just the final stage of her character development. It is not a painless process. Congratulations on completing the villain arc!

The sentences about Valancy longing for someone who would understand are so beautifully sad... and true. Is that not what we all want, at the end of the day?

Why did the thought of Barney Snaith come into her mind? Why did she suddenly feel, in the midst of this hideous loneliness of pain, that he would be sympathetic—sorry for any one that was suffering? Why did he seem to her like an old, well-known friend? Was it because she had been defending him—standing up to her family for him?

Okay, it's not just that. She knows Barney as someone who lives on his own terms on a lake island in Muskoka, and whatever he is, he doesn't seem judgemental of other people's choices, so she's not that far off, I think.

At least she can laugh about her clan now. But I don't think Uncle Benjamin ever planned to leave her anything in his will, or not more than a pitiful amount, something more like a charity donation.

The moist, beautiful wind blowing across groves of young-leafed wild trees touched her face with the caress of a wise, tender, old friend. The lombardies in Mrs. Tredgold’s lawn, off to the left—Valancy could just see them between the stable and the old carriage-shop—were in dark purple silhouette against a clear sky and there was a milk-white, pulsating star just over one of them, like a living pearl on a silver-green lake. Far beyond the station were the shadowy, purple-hooded woods around Lake Mistawis. A white, filmy mist hung over them and just above it was a faint, young crescent. 

So I was under the impression from the first book club that this was the first time the book gave us a beautiful description; it's not, the first one was right after she read Dr Trent's letter. But this one is more memorable, I think, and obvs it's longer. The wind, the sky, the moon, the lombardies and the lake in the distance have always been there, but she could not perceive them the way she can now.

“I wish,” she said whimsically, “that I may have one little dust-pile before I die.”

So we meet Uncle Benjamin.

I'm trying to keep track of all the Stirling relatives this time round. It's been said before that Valancy respected Uncle James bc he was clever, the 'clan's Oracle'. Yet it's Uncle Benjamin who is rich and he seems to have made money from running a business (there is no wealth in the clan, or is there? otherwise they'd all be rich and Uncle Wellington would not be as revered for marrying money), which must mean he has some brains. At least he must be business-savvy.

I've been thinking about Uncle Benjamin a lot, even before this second book club was announced, ever since the Story Girl book club, which has a similar character in Uncle Roger. Like I said then, I fucking hate lame jokes, and even more when someone says the same ones constantly and expects everyone to laugh like it's the most innovative thing in the world. I once said that I can excuse homicide but I draw the line at lame jokes (this is a joke, obviously, I'm not serious.) But that's my problem and I'm trying to work on not getting so riled up over it. People who have a habit of telling these jokes are not going to change just bc I don't like it. The best thing is not to react. I googled 'how to deal with lame jokes', there's some Reddit threads on it etc, some say just politely chuckle, depending on the situation. Some tips in this video. It says ask them to repeat the joke, which will make them feel stupid.

I have digressed, but that's a book club for you.

But Uncle Benjamin would not be a problem for Valancy, had she, as I've been saying from the start, a loving mother, or at least someone else at home whom she would have a genuine connection with. They could laugh at dumbness of the riddles together and it wouldn't matter. And they don't, really. The riddles mean nothing. But for Valancy they sting more bc her life just fucking sucks and she has nothing. Whether it's likely Uncle Benjamin would ever leave her any money in his will or not, there are ways to deal with his stupid riddles, but Valancy is incapable of that bc she has no confidence. (How old is he supposed to be anyway? Bc he may yet live a long time so who knows how many years it would take to get this inheritance.) Those two douchebags at the shop are terrible and how the hell do they get away with talking like that about a customer. But Valancy, of course, can't even go to a different shop.

Valancy, inching closer to her rebellion, points out that this particular riddle doesn't work--and then, frustratingly, regrets it as soon as she rounds the corner. (Anyone remembers that episode of Family Guy where they got stuck indoors bc of a storm and Meg went off at everyone--finally--but when this made them all feel bad about themselves, she retracted it and by the end of the episode it was back to 'shut up, Meg'? Yeah, that.)

I like that Valancy admits to herself that she does want marriage and a house and babies. That's already a big step.

I'd be scared of Dr Stalling as a kid as well. I was a very fearful child. I used to not understand that scene at church with the hat, it was only early this year that I finally got it, bc I got thinking about hats--men take them off, women keep them on, right? I totally sympathise with Valancy here, I would feel as hurt as her, especially by the fact that Stalling laughed at discovering his mistake. Experiencing something scary or traumatic and on top of that, someone laughing at it? That would leave scars well into adulthood. Sure, it's not good being that sensitive, but what can you do, some of us are just like that.

I would tell Valancy that a pain around the heart is definitely not an imaginary problem, but I'm not there so I can't tell her.

Well, at least there is a library and a new John Foster book! The only light in Valancy's life.

“Fear is the original sin,” wrote John Foster. “Almost all the evil in the world has its origin in the fact that some one is afraid of something. It is a cold, slimy serpent coiling about you. It is horrible to live with fear; and it is of all things degrading.”

There's your Fairy Godmother. Or abbe Faria from The Count of Monte Cristo. This quote is up there with all the wise quotes, the Buddhas and Gandhis and Bibles and Shakespeares and idk all the clever people that said clever things. Will Valancy then find courage after all?

Let's gooooooooo!

If it had not rained on a certain May morning Valancy Stirling’s whole life would have been entirely different. She would have gone, with the rest of her clan, to Aunt Wellington’s engagement picnic and Dr. Trent would have gone to Montreal. But it did rain and you shall hear what happened to her because of it.

So we begin with one of the most memorable opening lines (certainly for LMM works). The first paragraph gives an adult fairytale. It is, however, not a merry beginning; never was there a first chapter so full of misery in LMM's canon.

Right away we can see why Valancy's life is so unhappy, despite it being the morning of her bday--she is 29 and unmarried, living in an environment that is considered a woman's greatest failure. But it's not just that, everything in her life is dull and grey. Her mother doesn't seem to have much love for her and the house she lives in, including her bedroom, is ugly. She is not allowed to do anything she likes; a full grown adult cannot even read novels or withdraw money from her own bank account. She has no choice over her bedroom decor, not even the pictures on the wall. (Trying to find out who this Queen Louise could have been, google gives me Queen Louise, wife of Frederick William III, King of Prussia and Queen Louise, wife of Frederick V, King of Denmark and Norway. The latter was British, daughter of King George II, so I'd say she's the most likely one. Or it was someone entirely different.)

Valancy did not mind so much being an old maid. After all, she thought, being an old maid couldn’t possibly be as dreadful as being married to an Uncle Wellington or an Uncle Benjamin, or even an Uncle Herbert. What hurt her was that she had never had a chance to be anything but an old maid. No man had ever desired her.

Relatable. We can say that male attention means nothing, but well, being desired is nice. We're all human.

So the rain mentioned in the first line prevents Aunt and Uncle Wellington's engagement picnic from taking place, which is a comforting thought at the moment for Valancy. She is the clan's punching bag. We get information about some of her relatives but honestly, none of them would matter had her mother been a loving one. One can endure a terrible family gathering if one then gets to go home and laugh at the ridiculousness of them all with one's mother (or father or a sibling or anyone who understands, really). (Also, and this is a topic for later, but I wonder how many of them are actually happy, in a clan filled with rigid customs; how many of them actually get to be authentic?)

Valancy, so cowed and subdued and overridden and snubbed in real life, was wont to let herself go rather splendidly in her day-dreams.

This is it! Your imagination is something nobody can take away from you. I frequently escaped into it in my not-very-good teenage years.

For one thing she had quite a few lovers in it. Oh, only one at a time. One who wooed her with all the romantic ardour of the age of chivalry and won her after long devotion and many deeds of derring-do, and was wedded to her with pomp and circumstance in the great, banner-hung chapel of the Blue Castle.

Of course! What's the point of imaginary castle if you don't go all in? I love me a knight in shining armour. I have a little figure of one!

And Valancy has another thing that gives her joy--the books of John Foster. She is at least allowed to read those, bc they are not novels. But she can't be seen enjoying them much bc her mother is the worst.

Valancy did not know whether her mind was being improved or not; but she felt vaguely that if she had come across John Foster’s books years ago life might have been a different thing for her. They seemed to her to yield glimpses of a world into which she might once have entered, though the door was forever barred to her now.

Interesting. Why does she think she discovered the books too late? Why would the door be closed to her now?