#lmlyd

A/N: Guys...guys, I actually did it. 4 and a half years later but I fucking did it lmao listen, this was always the ending I had in mind, but a little shorter than intended, but it is what it is and I am just happy to have finished it for anyone still interested lol fucking hell...even if no one reads it, I'm proud I even came back to finish. Not beta read because I'm too worked up to care about grammar.

Mood Music: my own cheers and tears

***

Blades of grass thread between your toes, cold and smooth, dotted by the dew of morning that provides a sense of relief to the heat around you. You spread your arms in the warmth of the atmosphere, eyes closed and head tilted back to let your very being breathe in the day.

Your chest rises and falls with every hardened breath, inhales just as strong as the exhale to take in the sunrise. And oh, is it one with earth. The view brings a smile to your face, feet taking one, two, three steps until the field is open, long stalks of various plants tickling your skin, over your bare feet and ankles, the tallest reaching your shoulders that peek over the red cloth of your dress.

It’s Summer, you think. Must be. For the heat is grand and the sunrise is wanting.

It’s big, orange, burning yellow and bright along the horizon of where you stand. You take the view in, lips quirking into a grin, reminiscing of Summer’s past, where earth has given you joy as a child.

This is much the same. A grand sun, backdropped to orange and yellow hues, signaling the day’s start. But in contrast, there is snow. Falling from above, in delicate flakes, hitting your bare shoulders, melting over collarbones and you hold your hand out, collecting them into your palm.

Snow in summer....not of earth, and it makes you smile. “Just like home...”

***

“I don’t know what to say...”

His forehead came to rest on yours, eyes closed as he urged you to say what you both wanted. “You do.”

You do....

The very idea of that made you laugh, inwardly of course, because you were more than aware a certain Primary would frown upon that reaction. “I don’t, Balem. I don’t even know where to begin...”

His eyes pierce into you, steady, eerily calm but you’ve known him long enough to gauge the swirl of fear in them, tinged with an urgency that begs you to choose him. To desire him like you once did—still did. “You come here, expecting—expecting what? That I allow myself to be yours again? That I turn a blind eye to the world you literally create for yourself? You’re asking me to live with the fact you...you...”

“I am what I am, little bird. And I’ve never claimed to be more. I have given you my very existence, earth be damned...” His eyes flicker down your features, lingering on your lips, hand raised by his side to touch but he doesn’t dare to do more than merely hover there, waiting, pleading for your acceptance. “I don’t want it, I don’t yearn for it, there is little here I care for and I’m currently in its presence.” Balem’s gaze softens, that sheen of hesitance there, so unlike his usual self that makes you question so much. “I have promised you. I will never take from this planet, there is no bargain here. I ask nothing in return, but if I must,” and it’s then you hold your breath, solid in your chest as he begins to kneel.

The very sight is unimaginable, a man with so much to his name, his worth so grand you’re of very little consequence to him in the grand scheme of life...yet, he kneels. Before you.

The hand he had stretched out now moves forward, gripping yours in a tight hold, fingers threading through your own. His palms are cold, you notice, and all at once, you wish to warm them.

“If I must yield to you,” and he squeezes, so softly, but the touch burns all the same. “Know that I do so with every intent of my...” a breath. “My heart.”

“Balem—“

“Come back with me—to me, Y/N.”

His words pierce you, throughout your entire soul, so strong they make you squeeze his hands back in response. You’d be foolish to deny the way your heart seeks him, willingly beating in earnest of a love you hold. There is no consequence to your emotions, that much you’re plainly aware of, but it is morality that whispers in your ear. Softly kissing the idea that he can never change into your mind. That he can gift your worlds and still hold many more in his grasp.

Then again, has he ever asked more from you than your love? Such a simple notion in reality, to give yourself to someone so fully but to him...to him that must be the only concept that eludes him in life. In all his centuries of living, he’s never once flirted with its grasp.

Until now.

Until you...

Enough to gift you the entirety of earth. To ask nothing in return, to kneel...if you had the presence of mind, you’d have smiled at the action, because you’re more than aware he’s never kneeled for a single person in his long life.

Morality speaks of truth, and in that you find one thing; you do love him. No matter the actions of his life, his business, his past indiscretions, you still loved him. You knew deep down the profound nature of your feelings towards him would never change, and your time back on earth had proven that. How often can a person admit such things? How often can anyone say they’ve been faced with this decision, it’s unlikely, that’s for certain.

However, seeing him before you, kneeling, lips brushing over your knuckles as he closes his eyes in preparation of your answer...you realize one inevitable fact; yes or no...you love him.

And what more should matter?

***

Gentle footsteps sound behind you, and with little more than a turn of your head, you see Mr. Night by the entryway.

"Are you ready?"

Have you ever been? You'd be lying if you said some small part of you never hesitated...

***

Your eyes move to the deed in your hands, the tablet smooth, so small yet holding a power far beyond your own importance. I have Earth, you think softly to yourself, and what do I do now?

"Come back with me..."

Balem's urgent whispers bring you back to the moment. You glance up to see him standing closer, his hand outstretched, shaking so slightly you'd almost miss it.

"I beg you."

You swallow, pained--grateful, in a very wrong way, but that warmth sweeps you in its grasp. Come back with me, he keeps asking, but your hands remain tucked at your sides, one tightening around the tablet...

***

"I am." You say it so matter-of-factly, pulling the corners of your gown up to pack yourself to the entryway. Your bare feet feel content with the grounds of the garden, always your favorite place amongst this monstrosity of a palace, and it's only when you near the golden doors you slip them back into your heels, a stark, vibrant red. They glitter against the fading sunlight, and you take one look back at the vast gardens. "I am..."

***

"Okay..." It's so soft when you say it. So soft Balem seems taken aback, a line drawn between his brows as he nears you, frightened in his own right.

"Say it again..."

You look to him, somewhat moved by his own surprise. Perhaps he truly did not come with expectations, "Okay..." Only a desire to see you off in a way that would honor his old promises, honor his own feelings for you. It settles a confidence in your heart, one that makes it a little easier to know deep down... you've made the right decision. "I'll go back with you." The affirmation feels like a heat radiating through your being, waking your muscles as you slowly reach for his hand that remains ever so pleading to you. "I'll go back." You say more pointedly, threading your fingers through his pale ones, his cold palms soothing to you. It's a memory of a softer time... when you could pretend the ethics behind all of this didn't matter.

When you could pretend, just for a moment, you were both normal human beings...with nothing more than love between you.

Balem's fingers tighten around yours, fearing you'd let go at any moment. As if you'd change your mind, and he'd be left just as heartbroken as before. His eyes glow with adulation, but wary of how far his own feelings could take him.

"Little bird..."

***

Snow still falls around you, and only when you reach your palm out do you realize it's ash. You stare towards the refinery in the distance, smoothing your thumb across the flake and watching it dust your fingertips.

There is beauty in the world around you, gardens elongating down the pathways, the windows, the arches...and then there is darkness. It's never too far, is it?

But a smile still comes to your face. Perhaps guilty, perhaps content. In the end, you pay it all no mind. You knew...you knew not everything in this universe can be saved. Maybe not even yourself...

"Little bird."

But what is happiness, if not a selfish thing.

"I'm coming."

You slip through the doorway, fingers finding Balem's as he gracefully smiles at you, pulling you closer and pressing his lips to yours in a subdued kiss. You feel his desire in it, feel the urgency to move all of this along.

To find that end that catered to both your hearts.

"In here, my lord." Mr. Night pushes the doors to the throneroom open, Balem's white and gold cap sliding effortlessly across the tiles. A man resides on the high steps, dresses in robes, and beckoning you both forth.

"Would your majesty place his hand forth, signifying the bond."

Your eyes drift to the machine floating before you both, Balem moving his hand with no hesitation towards it. You watch in awe as a light shines from it, a mechanism arching over his finger as it burns an elaborate ring across it. His eyes never stray from yours, a pride glowing in them as he lifts his hand to show the imprint of his devotion.

"Your turn, little bird." It's said gently, almost humorously, so unlike him that it actually makes you laugh. Maybe he still thinks you'll turn heel and run, or maybe he's so engrossed in a moment he can't believe is actually occurring.

But you know this is what you want--what you asked for.

A devotion dressed in chaos, in uncertainty, yet...in perpetuity.

You lay your palm across the machine, watching as the glow of the ring etches into your skin. There is no turning back, and you remember the words, the vows, you both whispered to each other this morning while lying in bed. They were meant for this moment, but Balem had asked you to only repeat them to him and only him.

For anyone else's ear need not know what you mean to each other.

So even when darkness takes over the day, when your rings shine in each other's tangled hands, do you dare to say them to him again.

"I, Y/N, take Balem Abrasax," his lips pepper down your neck, one hand slipping under the end of your gown to lift it up, "to be my husband..." your breath hitches in your throat, "I enter into this union," his lips slide to your chin, halting there before he brings them to your own, "being of sound mind..."

"My beautiful little bird." His achingly devoted words get kissed into your lips, and you moan softly from the urgency of it all. The vows sing inside your head and you wonder, very briefly, how your heart could change you so much.

All for one man...

"Of my..." But in the very end, your illusion of what perfection was, what being good was...seemed so irrelevant in his arms, "own volition."

***

A/N: holy fuck I actually ended this series....fuck me, thank you, all of you, for ever having read this at all lol like...what?! It's so cheesy but fun to write and share and I realize many of you probably aren't around anymore but to those who ever stuck around and wished or hoped for an end, I hope this is something.

“Little bird…” Balem spoke, removing his hand from your back and bringing it up to your face. He hovered it over your cheek, fingers hesitant on touching you this time. But, as the other dancers bowed to each other in thanks for the dance, he simply cupped your cheek, pulling you forward and pressing his lips upon your forehead in a soft kiss.

A/N: 3 months, I know. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this part, it was a beast to write. Mainly due to the fact I had to go through so many rewrites and tons of planning on what was important enough to keep in the story without needlessly writing both of them sitting at home sulking. ✍🏻 I don’t know about y’all, but as much as I love angst, writing multiple chapters of pining/sulking sounds dull. With no interaction at all between characters that is. So, forgive the skip arounds, but I believe I put what was important for the bulk of the plot. I know some of it might be boring, but Okay! Sorry, go on and read, lovelies.

MOOD MUSIC: Recover by Ruelle

***

Grand environments, lively halls, the constant harsh cacophony of workers and soldiers alike…that was the scenery of the past for him. His life at a finer point in time that was the envy of all who were worthy enough to bear it witness. Balem could not imagine thousands of years of work, planning, and betrayal would end up being for nothing. Every step of the way felt akin to a blessing of the gods, only he had very little to show for it now. There was no pride in wasting away in his chambers as the universe went on around him, but what purpose was there in continuing on when he had already tasted the simplest joy in life?

“Thousands…thousands of years to find her and it seems fate deems me unworthy of her yet again…” Balem stared blankly ahead towards his bookshelves, wine bottle clasped dangerously in his hand as he once again brought it towards his lips. There was madness the moment he felt the weight of the bottle lessen, knowing he’d have to suffer through another conversation with a servant to retrieve more for him. He rarely made appearances anymore, allowing the heads of each department to oversee the refinery and figure out the solutions to the many problems he used to handle. It was, if he were honest with himself, a mess of a business now. Barely clinging along through his name alone and money others had invested in it. A wiser man would thank them, appeal to their better nature and pick up the pieces of his livelihood, what precious little there was of it. But, Balem was not that man, he would never swallow his pride and entertain, even for a moment, the thought of begging. Somewhere deep down he knew you’d be the end of him, even if it was his own doing as well.

“My lord-“ The splice hesitantly entered the Primary’s chambers, stopping in his tracks when he found the room in more disrepair than this morning. Wine bottles littered Balem’s desk, numerous papers scattered amongst the floor and table tops that had remained unread and unsigned for months on end. It was maddening, but Mr. Night could not bring himself to fully question his lord’s will. Whether in business or his own heartache, Balem would still cling to his stubborn and unrelenting nature.

“Get out.” Balem furiously whispered, gritting his teeth at just the slightest sound of his advisor’s voice. He had no patience for words, and as the days would have it, the splice took it upon himself to be a nuisance to him. More so than usual.

“Yes, Lord Balem, but-“

“LEAVE!” The Primary turned in his chair, throwing the bottle in his hand towards the windows of his room. The glass shattered easily, giving way to the already broken window panes that were left as is from Titus’ invasion. Once you had left him, there was no motivation to even bother with the damages, he simply slipped away into his privacy and let the world move on without him. It was like the plague had hit this planet, creating a dark and gloomy atmosphere that left the city below in shambles and people without so much as a meal. Selfish as he was, the essence of life on Jupiter was his will to keep the refinery going, to provide what he could to the workers and families below if only for his own benefit at the end of the day. Without him, everything was falling apart, but without you…there was no fire in him anymore. Just another wound to his pride he had yet to tolerate. One woman shouldn’t carry such a power over him, and yet all he wished was to cave to you.

To some, mainly his associates, they related his moods to the death of his brother. Thinking that he’d even felt some semblance of love for the younger fool, how wrong they were. Nothing short of death would have made him happy in regards to Titus’ fate, but he would not waste his time explaining to the other elite what had dampened his spirits and left him a shell of a person. You were his business, and no one else’s. Even now, he could not allow himself to let you go, no matter how bitter he felt towards you at times. The pathetic truth of it was, that he knew he’d find no other love in the universe that could possibly come close to what you had offered him and he wasn’t sure he’d ever want to. It was a tiring venture, after all.

Mr. Night flinched back in fear, the sound of the bottle breaking reverberating off the marble walls and making the action seem even more threatening. He had spent months attempting to lift his lord’s moods, but there was no longer anything that could gauge a reaction from him. Save for interrupting Balem’s sulking, the Primary was always eager to show him or others the extent of his loathing in those cases. But, the advisor could not back down this time, Balem certainly wasn’t losing his fortune quickly, but if he wasn’t careful now that was a reality they could face in the coming months. “Forgive me, Lord Balem, but you can’t ignore these letters anymore. Your associates they want-“

“Answers…?” Balem groaned in frustration, sweeping a palm over his features and begrudgingly turning to the splice who stood stiff in fear at the doors.

“Y-Yes…they’ve not heard from you in several months and wish to know when the next corporate meeting will take place to discuss the current state of-“

“We all want answers, Mr. Night. It doesn’t mean we’re deemed worthy enough to get them…” Balem bitterly spat to him, leaning back into his throne and turning his angry gaze to the small fire burning in his chambers. “Now, get out…” The Primary dismissed him with a flippant wave of his hand, trying hard to ignore the footsteps coming closer and causing another wave of fury to erupt from him. “GO!”

“I will…, my lord…” The advisor, albeit frightful of his master, placed some papers on the desk, hoping the will of Titus Abrasax would be enough to capture Balem’s attention. “Titus was too reckless to leave anything behind for family, as expected…but seeing as how you are the head of the family now, the commonwealth ministry has passed on what little fortune he had left to you, Lord Balem.”

The Primary’s eyes darted to the papers, seeing the glow of Titus’ past inheritance emitting from the top. Just seeing his little Brother’s name angered him all over again, half of the blame for losing you was solely placed on the immature child that Titus was. He held no regret or sympathy for how he ended it, and even though he felt that familiar pain of your loss and the disgust you held in your eyes for him that night…he wouldn’t take it back. Some would call that stubbornness, but he believed it was well deserved. No one would miss his brother, and that was one trouble he was happy to remove from his life. “Burn it, destroy it, do whatever you wish with it. I will never take anything that belonged to him.”

If someone could save Mr. Night from the stubbornness of his liege, he’d be forever grateful. But, he had been by Balem’s side long enough to know better than to argue the point. Had the Primary been hurting for money, he’d push it, but Titus barely held a jewel to his name. “As you wish, my lord.” He made to reach for the document, but as his finger slid over the paper Balem stole it from beneath his hand.

He could not say what part of it caught his eye, perhaps it was the need to destroy it himself, or maybe it was the paragraph on the planets under Titus’ control. All Balem knew, was that he had an inkling of a thought, one that brought a sliver of hope in him he hadn’t felt in ages.

“Leave me.” He crumpled it slightly, bringing the document closer to his face and reading slowly over the words. Each one meant little to him, but he could entertain the ideas going on in his mind for a bit longer. “Now.”

Mr. Night looked curiously on, wondering what had sparked inside Balem for him to suddenly act like that. But he would take his victories and leave his master be. “Of course, my lord.” He bowed happily, stepping back and stealing one last glance before exiting the chambers.

The second the doors closed, Balem crumped the entire thing and tossed it into the fire, watching proudly as the paper burned and gave way to the heat around it. There was beauty in the sight, like he had officially erased the existence of Titus Abrasax from the world and left nothing but ash. “Fitting end for you.” He softly spoke, closing his eyes and returning to the more important things on his mind. The Commonwealth Ministry is what stuck out to him, the largely bolded letters that tried desperately to remind the universe how important their role was in all they did. He never respected them, they were merely bureaucrats who waved their badges around and pretended to be the real power source in the world. However, they were always in the palm of his hand, never denying him his wants or needs when it came down to it. Perhaps, he thought, it was time to use that to his full advantage. It was a foolish plan, and it wasn’t something he would easily relinquish to another, but seeing his brother’s name again…it brought memories to him he tried forgetting and only failed pathetically at.

“You torment me, little bird…” He weakly cried, jaw tightening when this build up of emotions wracked his body. He was never one to allow sentiments to disturb him, but you were the exception to that. You always were. Balem sighed heavily into his hand, pinching at the bridge of his nose and screwing his eyes shut. He would not allow tears to fall, but he gave himself the punishment of his longing for you. Seven months without you was a torture, one he attempted to take in stride only to find himself suffering deeper at the end of it. Not touching you, kissing you, simply having the pleasure of being near such a beautiful creature…it was pain unlike any other for him. He missed the nights of having you in his arms, inhaling the scent that was so uniquely yours it awakened the parts of his soul he longed thought dead. There was no life in his palace now, it all rotted away and caused a silence that was punishing. There were days he had thought he’d gone mad, seeing visions of you, sometimes by his side, cupping his cheek at night and kissing him in the loving way you did. It frustrated him to think of it, knowing at the time he thought little of such small affections. Now, well, he’d do anything to return to that time. To be able to touch your skin, to take you into his hold and never let go for the sake of all he held dear. He’d give up a thousand planets, if it meant having you back.

“Then do it.”

He stiffened at the voice, eyes widening when that familiar softness to the tone rang like a melody to his ears. He swept the fallen strands of hair from his face, the unruly locks having grown a little longer from his lack of care to himself. The darkness in his eyes momentarily dissipated, leaving a glint of fondness he reserved only for you. “Y/N…?”

“Do what? I already have enough on my plate, I’m not going to throw my…”

Another voice trailed off into sentences he paid no attention to, he was more interested in the pleasant giggle of yours that brought him endless joy. It felt like ages since he heard it, even though he knew that would be a lie. Because, the madness that infected his mind in his wine filled stupors was not the cause of hearing you now. In his self pity, he had activated the device below his ear, subconsciously inflicting another round of misery on himself. Watching you was the only way to relieve some of the heartache, but it only caused the wound to fester more. Seeing you live on, nursing your own broken heart, it angered him greatly. But, you had made it clear to him the night he left you back on earth to never return to you. It took every ounce of self control to keep himself from ignoring your request, because there were times he wanted to reach through and have you.

Balem dropped his head in his hands, groans of distress turning into cries of indignation as he clawed at his own hair. He was too far gone now, heart empty of all else but his yearning for you. Looking at the screen of you before him unwinded all the pent up rage, his passion coming out in the form of scattering all belongings on his desk to the floor, bottles crashing into the walls and his screams that carried themselves down the empty halls of his alcazar.

He sank to his knees at his desk, bloodshot eyes reluctantly gazing up at you on the screen that produced a moment from earlier in your day. Even in simple attire, hair a mess from working, you were beautiful to him. All he wished was for your happiness, it was the only selfless thing he had ever done in his long life. Part of him regretted it, but there was pain on both sides. He saw it in you as well, there was a sparkle in your eyes that was no longer there. One he grew eagerly accustomed to upon returning from meetings or simply being at your side. He remembered it fondly, the very first night he took notice was when you danced with him at Kalique’s ball, an intrigued and happy glint that did all your features justice.

Maybe you deserved a better man than him, maybe he deserved losing it all, either way neither of you were happy now…but, he had made a promise long ago that he’d do anything to make you smile. He intended to keep that oath, whether you willed him to or not at this time. With a click under his ear, he shut the hologram off, glancing back at the fire, reminding himself of his intentions from earlier. There was no sense in debating with himself anymore, because it was clear now that all he wanted was to have you back. You were his, and he was entirely yours, all that was left was to prove it to you.

***

“Then do it.” Your hand folded the rag into a quick square, wiping over the table and giving your friend that same grin she hated on you. Perhaps it was childish, but she often teased you relentlessly most days, it was only fair to push back sometimes.

“Do what? I already have enough on my plate, I’m not going to throw my life away on some stupid dream.” Sera huffed at your expression, crossing her arms and taking a seat right over the bench you had just finished cleaning. Somewhere in the irritated part of your mind, you wanted to shove her off, but she was a close friend. One you wouldn’t dare wave away just because you were going through your own crisis. So you laughed, shaking your head and leaning onto the table as you tried to give advice to a stubborn fool. How familiar that felt…

“I thought you wanted to be an actress?”

“Broadway star.”

“Same thing…” You shrugged, trying to finish your duties so you could rush home and sleep away your sour mood. Working here didn’t exactly help nurse it, either. So many demands for coffee and pastries, and of course, the customers who had twenty changes to a basic drink. It was hell, if you were blunt, and you wished you could dump a fresh pot over their heads most days. Except money was now an issue, and your apartment wasn’t going to pay for itself. It was a miracle you even got to keep it. Months gone, and you came back to find your personal items in storage, and a change of locks on the door. With a nice, welcoming sign of ‘Evicted’ nailed to it. It was completely warranted, as being abducted wasn’t a likely excuse for skipping several months of utilities and rent…but, still. After dealing with a family that had issues deeper than the earth’s core, you needed to catch some breaks.

Thankfully, your landlord was a greedy, horrible man. Meaning he could be bribed with the smallest of coins, and whatever was left in your savings. It wasn’t ideal, but with what little you had, you were able to get your apartment back. Save for the items he managed to steal and pawn off somewhere. Now was hardly the time to complain though, you were just grateful for the second chances. Even with work, if it hadn’t been for your boss being a longtime friend…well, you didn’t want to imagine where you’d be right now.

“Hey!”

You blinked in surprise when Sera jabbed you hard in the ribs. Attempting to gain your attention back to her current predicament.

“You space out far too much lately. Are you alright? I thought going off on almost a years vacation would’ve done you some good?”

“It was hardly a vacation…” Bitter as that sounded, at some points it was a dream come true. But, who ends a vacation with fratricide and explosions? It would be an insult to ask any normal human to go through those events and pretend life was just going to sweetly move on. And as luck would have it…whether near him or not, moving on was not easy. “Not a vacation.” You softly repeated, wanting her to move the conversation along so you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself and cry at the end of your shift.

“Okay, okay.” Sera sighed in boredom, already watching the clock until it managed to hit ten at night. Freedom was a sweet victory, and you couldn’t help but smile as she hopped from the chair and grabbed the rag from your hand. “We’re done here. Let’s go and get some late night dinner.”

“I’ll pass tonight, kind of want to sleep.”

“At least let me make you a drink before we leave. Too bad this place doesn’t serve alcohol, because you look like you need it…”

Her words continued on without the blessing of your attention, but she often spoke without caring who was listening. You were too busy dreading the silence of your apartment, and the empty halls that left the building feeling old and out of place. How pathetic were you now? Expecting to see splices running up and down the halls in their haste to please their lord…you really needed help.

“Here. Be safe on your way home.” Sera handed you a cup, smiling before putting her coat on and heading out the door. You quickly followed suit, offering a thanks and a wave goodbye as you locked up the cafe for the night. For a moment, you watched her walk down the street, almost wishing you had taken her offer for dinner. But, the pull of your own self pity was stronger this night.

With a hesitant step, you turned the corner, making your way down the crowded street on a weekend and hoping your hot water was working tonight because, you needed a relaxing bath. In truth, it was the very simple comforts of life that offered any escape from your thoughts. The majority of them often took you to him, and that was the unbearable part. You could pretend the last few months had been easy. That your love for him had somehow disappeared and you could move on and date someone a little closer to home. But, that would be foolish of you. Love like that doesn’t just drift away, especially when certain events transpire and only serve in bringing you closer together.

“No, stop!” You harshly berated yourself, angrily pulling the lid from your cup and swiping the peak of the whip cream off. It wasn’t like the delicious taste would heal a broken heart, but it was a very small distraction from focusing on your pain. Sometimes doing the most mundane tasks made you feel better, as if you could convince yourself it was possible to move on from all that. Just keep moving, like some emotionless being that simply lived for the mediocrity of life. “Idiot.”

The worst of it? Walking this path home, because every time it never failed to bring up memories of the very first day you met him. Sometimes it still felt like a fever dream, and how exactly does one continue knowing such universal secrets? Not that you wanted to reveal such discoveries, the thought of all the attention made you sick. But, what was there to move on to now? Try as you might, you knew no one would ever compare to him. “Look at me, can’t even think his stupid name…”

A sigh left your lips, eyes downcast and focused on the whip cream melting over your coffee. You loathed this helpless feeling. All you wanted was him, and at the same time you wished you could forget him. How could you still love someone so beastly in his ways, so set on destruction and profit? It became harder to think of his negative traits, because every day away from him only made you value the caring side he bestowed on you, and only you. What was that old adage? Absence makes the heart grow fonder? It always seemed a silly thing people say, until you’re left feeling exactly that.

You missed him, and in some ways you regretted ever leaving him. Not even due to the lack of comfort in your life, but only for his company. If you could feel his presence just once more…maybe then you’d stop this lovestruck behavior.

***

“Steady.” The captain called, lips tightened in concentration as his crew brought the clipper to a balanced halt. It hovered over the city, drawing no attention to itself as the captain worked to put on the shields. Everyone seemed less than impressed by the view below, with nothing but skyscrapers and endless roadways that seemed far too primitive to them. Even to Balem, there wasn’t much he found beautiful about earth, something his mother often confused him with growing up. She seemed so entertained by the planet, as if she yearned for a different life. One in which she could live among the earthlings and pretend all was easy. He supposed he envied her dreams, if only because the one thing he longed for was down there now.

He took a steady breath, not the least interested in those around him as they found the proper coordinates for the building he sought. He was too preoccupied now, mind conjuring up every scenario possible on your reaction to seeing him. Part of him hoped it’d be relief, but he never cared for the fairy tale lives others lived. You were no simpleton, your heart may have been ruling your brain far more than his, but you still didn’t lack logic when it came to the world. Another reason he respected and admired you. No, when it came to you, he nearly hoped you’d give him that angry glare of yours. How he missed that…

“Are you certain-“

“Do not question my decisions, Mr. Night.” Balem turned his gaze to the splice, cheek resting in his hand as all else stood still. There was something frightening about that, and the advisor wasn’t willing to push the subject further. He supposed he should be thankful his lord even left his chambers.

The minute he heard the roar of his name, he came running to find Balem briskly walking down the hall. Tablet in hand, and determined look on his features. That was a look he hadn’t seen for some time, and in the pit of his chest he was proud to see Balem back to his old self. Unfortunately, though, all else on the Primary’s mind was kept secret, and the only order Mr. Night was given was to retrieve something from the commonwealth ministry before they were to head to earth. It was a shock to him, but he would never deny his lord’s will.

“Yes, well-“

Balem held his hand up for silence, eyes darting to the view of the city down below. He fixated on the lone building in the middle of the street, surrounded by businesses and empty alleys. To any creature of wealth, it would seem unlivable, and he was certainly disgusted by the fact you would ever inhabit such a place. But, he was not here to judge, not quite yet. For now he was content in his thinking, and all he had intended was for you to be his again. “There.”

The captain gave his orders, clipper hovering dangerously close to the roof of the apartments. They stalled the engines, cloaking systems taking over as Balem rose from his throne. For a moment, he simply watched, disbelief and alleviation swarming his mind all at once. He had longed for this moment, even more on the nights he truly felt he’d never see or have you again. Yet, here he stood, mere feet away from the very place he’d find you.

“Start the transporters. Now!” He ordered, boots scuffing the ground as he rushed to the transport bay. For a man with many strategies, he didn’t exactly formulate the words he would say to you, but overall he knew what he wanted. He always did, and he’d spend a thousand eternities trying to convince you to be his again.

“Lord Balem-“ Mr. Night followed closely behind, pushing some of the crew from his path as he attempted to gain the lord’s attention. By now, it was fairly obvious to him what Balem was planning, and he had no intention of interfering. Perhaps even a part of him agreed to the idea, but he was still ever the worried advisor on all matters involving the family business. “My Lord, If-“

“Enough of your bothersome conversation, Mr. Night.” Balem growled, grabbing the clothing device from the numerous tables lining the clipper walls. He graciously waved it over himself, easily removing his usual dress into something more suiting of earth’s culture. The well tailored suit was perfect for his tastes, but to any person down there it’d likely only serve to make him stick out. “Keep the clipper nearby, I’ll send for you when needed. Is that understood?!” He straightened his gold tie, smoothing out the creases of his black blazer before turning his annoyed gaze to the splice.

There was no further need to speak, that much was clear, and all the advisor could do was bow respectfully and watch the Primary disappear into the transporter.

***

The door gave way to your grip, only proving how little management thought of their tenants safety. Not that the front office ever left much to the imagination for potential thieves. With a single dirty couch, and a mess of papers on the counter, the only thing your landlord was attracting were pests. “Hey there, Mr. Taylor…” You greeted weakly, not in the mood for human interaction, but you might as well be civil with the old man.

“Thought I told you to not be entering the office so goddamn late?!” He muttered hotly under his breath, always in some fit or mood that made everyone around him uncomfortable. You just rolled your eyes when he wasn’t looking, feet hurrying over the threshold and into the stairwell. The man always had something to complain about, in some odd way he even reminded you of a certain someone. As far as threats and complaints went, anyway. Nothing seemed to please him.

“Maybe make another entrance and I wouldn’t have to.” You snapped back, albeit quietly, no need to begin a war of words with someone that held your livelihood in his hands.

“What was that?!”

“Nothing…” If ever there was a reason you wanted back on another planet, he was it. Sometimes it appeared life wanted you to purposefully regret your decision, no matter how right it seemed at the time. Every where you turned there was more and more evidence of how horrible the world already was, even with other planets trying to harvest human beings.

On your way up, you heard him still grumbling from the office, but it served to pick up your pace so you could be rid of him for the night. Your apartment may have been on the verge of acceptable, but you still enjoyed the silence and peace it offered. It was your slice of home, a small escape from all things hectic and the closer you got to the door, the lighter your heart began to feel.

“Could this day possibly get any worse?” It was said with a bit too much bitterness, but who could blame you for the irritation you felt? Most of it was self pity, and while you were never one to wallow in it, you figured you deserved at least a day of crying, junk food and horrible television. Since there was no work tomorrow, you had no reason not to cave and do all those activities. With a renewed sense of purpose, you moved the coffee to your other hand, now fishing in your bag for your keys. It felt like forever until you found them, the key ring jingling softly as you unlocked the door and hurried inside.

***

His finger slid deftly along the dresser, collecting a fine sheen of dust over his fingertip that left him grimacing. For such a beautiful woman, he had to ponder how you lived in such a hideous place. In some foreign way, he placed the blame upon himself. He was by no means your caretaker, nor did he wish to be so, but he felt it necessary to bestow every beauty upon you when in his power. But, this? This building was an eyesore he had only wished to destroy once gone from this hellish planet.

“Maddening…” Balem whispered to himself, green eyes trailing the furniture until it stopped at the windows along the wall. You had very little in this small room, and from what he gathered, most of it was the basic necessities of life. A single bed, television, and a kitchen that seemed to connect to the rest of the apartment in some odd way. To say he was unimpressed would be an understatement, because there were no words he could use to describe his disgust with the place. It left him reeling, and in truth gave him more resolve to bring you back with him. This world offered nothing for you, and in his eyes you would forever deserve more than this.

As he paced gracefully towards the windows, he heard the commotion downstairs. Doors slamming, that insufferable fool who seemed in charge of this dilapidated hell hole, and then the cautious footsteps of a woman he had grown to know fondly. He had never placed such care in observing anyone, unless it required a finesse of business tact, that is. With you, however, he had learned every movement, every sound, and every expression that could possibly be burned into his memory. If he had the heart, he’d of wept, knowing that those nights of watching you from Jupiter would no longer have to suffice for him. Because, the second that locked turned, he’d be staring deep into the eyes of the woman he adored.

The knob gave way slowly, and the darkness of the room hid him well enough if only for a moment. He had beheld the sight of you with a mixture of joy and an uncharacteristic apprehension in him, but he couldn’t bring himself to walk away. You were perfection in his eyes, so sweet in your walk, and so pensive in your gaze it nearly stole the breath from him. You hadn’t noticed just yet, and so you settled your bag upon the ground, keys tossed onto the table and a heavy sigh escaping those lips he had only dreamt of for months. In that moment, he only wanted to reach for you, to cup your cheek and kiss you with every passion of his loneliness and longing. But, how inappropriate would you find that to be? He had known you long enough to venture your reaction, and it only ended in disbelief and a displeased remark.

The thought of remaining silent crossed his mind, he did not wish to alarm you, but merely watching you was unraveling what little control he held. Months of not physically being near, it wore him down, and for a man who prided himself on his composed nature, he simply did not care anymore. “…Little bird.” His face softened, voice barely above a whisper as he saw the cup in your hand practically fly from your grip.

You were instantly startled, heart suddenly beating wildly as the coffee spilled on the floor and the cup rolled off to the side. No one ever expects to hear a voice come from nowhere when they live alone, and in your haste to find the source, you reached for the light switch. Only to stop when your thoughts had finally collected themselves, and you had fully registered that familiar timbre.

You hadn’t the nerve to speak just yet. Your fingers laid idle on the switch, eyes fixated on the wall as you simply lived in the moment. There were a few seconds, in this current chain of events, that you convinced yourself it was your lovestruck heart conjuring images of him. Or even a sudden wave of longing that spawned the charming sound of his voice. But, this was reality, and even without pinching yourself you could easily recall this was no dream. He was here, and you were with him…

Balem stared directly at you, eyes trained on the astonished expression you wore. In the back of his mind, he found a humor in it, but that innocent thought was fleeting the second you recovered.

“Leave.”

It was harsh, angry even, but he wasn’t expecting much else from you right now. The pure elation he felt at being near was deep, but even he had cause to be equally furious at you. Although you temporarily enchanted him upon seeing you again, your sudden demand had reminded him of the abandonment he felt when you decided to leave that day. However, even if he tried to prove his anguish, he did not come here to drive you further away.

“Do not presume to command me.” He simply spoke, so arrogant in tone it made you steep further in anger. He could own the earth for all you cared, that did not give him the right to enter wherever he pleased.

With a sneer on your face, you tried to brush passed him. Straight to the kitchen to grab a towel and wipe down the mess you had blamed him for in your head. Part of you was still in shock at seeing him, and as much as the old feelings wanted to bubble up, you forced them back down.

“You have some nerve even coming here!” Your fury was unraveling, your broken heart placing all the blame on him even though you knew it wasn’t entirely his fault. You had chosen your path, but in your shock and dismay you could not find another outlet besides the Primary who seemed so calm and collected. It only added to the irritation you felt. If he had felt anything for you, he certainly wasn’t showing it now.

“Move.” Rudely, you bumped against his shoulder, making it a point to prove he wasn’t welcomed in your home. You got down to your knees, rubbing furiously at the coffee, and chucking the cup over to the trash can. There was a palpable silence in the air, the heat of both your anger simmering wildly.

Balem was not accustomed to being ignored, but you always had a way of putting him in his place. Not that he’d ever admit it, but the fond memory of your fiery attitude made him smirk. That bitterness he felt earlier, was slowly dying, and in its place he remembered why he came here.

“You do not belong here.”

You gritted your teeth at his comment, settling back on your thighs and finally working up the nerve to fully look at him. “I-“ But, you stopped, eyes widening when you found him clad in a black suit. You had never seen him look so…normal? That was it. Strange way of thinking, but it somehow made him more human to you now. You expected the usual: long intimidating cape, black leather boots and that domineering gaze he loved to wear. Instead you finally saw a man. Of course, you loved him, but in the most innocent of ways his appearance hadn’t caused you to feel inferior anymore. You had to wonder if he did that on purpose, but you guessed Balem would never be the type to comfort someone by lessening his own status in the world.

Either way, you were thankful for it. It made him human, and it dawned on you that if any other person could be civil and speak with an ex lover, why should it be any different for you? But, did he have to look so elegant and handsome in that? It made your stomach twist in knots, your adoration and longing for him pooling all together and causing a grief you thought you had forgotten.

“Why are you here?” You almost begged for an answer, a familiar heaviness returning to your heart.

Balem observed you carefully, jaw set tight as he fought to control himself. There had already been too much time lost, and even though he had no shortage of days in his life, he did not want to spend anymore of them apart from you. He could pretend your presence didn’t affect him, but that was slowly becoming more difficult to do. The minute your eyes landed on him, locking his gaze, it broke all resolve down. He needed you, wanted you, and nothing would stand in his way anymore. “I came for you, little bird.”

You saw his eyes soften, the truth in his words evident in the way he spoke. It warmed your heart, knowing he had likely been hurting the same way you had. The choice you made that day, it wasn’t one to be done lightly, but it felt the right thing to do. Coming back wasn’t easy to acclimate to, but you still forced yourself along everyday until you felt even an ounce of normalcy return to your life. You knew your love for him would never die, but wasn’t it wiser to push him away and not be ridden with guilt by the very actions his world was fine with.

“Balem,” It felt strange saying his name. Over the months you had trained yourself to avoid it. Even as it entered your thoughts, you’d quickly push it away. If only to save yourself the torture of your own foolish heart. “I told you then-“

“I am well aware of what you told me…and I will not apologize.” It was blunt, and it caught you off guard until he walked over to where you sat. He held his hand out for you, a stern look in his eye as you hesitantly took the offer. With a gentle tug, he pulled you to your feet, the tingle of his touch making you flush in embarrassment.

It had been so long since you felt his touch, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t longed for it on some nights. The proximity of him now, it only made you nervous that some foolish mistake would occur. It wouldn’t be the first time you caved to such a desire, even when you knew it would be best not to. So you pushed slightly at his chest, turning away from him and taking a seat on your bed. You hoped he hadn’t noticed, and even if he did, he had the small kindness of continuing the topic instead.

“I don’t regret taking my brother’s useless life. If you’re expecting some form of apology, you will never get it.”

“Did you come all this way just to rub this in my face?” It made you seeth with anger, seeing that unapologetic look on his features like he had just won some argument months in the making. You never expected him to feel remorse. That was, after all, one of the reasons you couldn’t be there anymore.

“I came here for you!” His hands slammed down on the mattress beside you, catching you off guard and making you wince back instinctively. You felt the warmth of his breath linger over your lips, his eyes show casing the rejection he felt at your accusations. He had leaned close to you, gaze journeying down your face and settling over your tempting pout. You were making it hard for him, and he wasn’t keen on this daunting task anymore.

“Titus would’ve killed you, do not pretend it would’ve ended in any diplomatic way. I hold no remorse for my brother, he meant little to me and I would gladly watch him die a thousand times over…if it meant protecting you.”

You found the strength to meet his gaze again, mouth going dry at the sheer anxiety you felt around him now. It felt so much like the first time he cornered you. The turmoil of uncertainty once again plaguing your thoughts. You wanted to pull him to you, kiss him madly and prove you truly did miss him, and wanted nothing else in life but the return of your affections. But, you were only human after all, and pretending he was some knight in shining armor wasn’t an option. “You shouldn’t have come.”

“Tsk!” Balem growled in frustration at your stubbornness, his point going ignored yet again. Could you be so dense as to not understand what you meant to him? He was not going to abandon who he was, that opportunity was long gone in his life. It was never a question of morality on his part, simply a means to an end when it came to keeping the few things he held dear, close to him.

He reluctantly moved away from you, gaze still fixated on the curve of your lips and those eyes he had grown far too enamored with. “This is foolish. Do you wish to pretend you want this life?” He gestured to the room, an annoyed expression on his face that made you scowl.

“What’s so wrong with it?”

“It is-“ He paused when he caught the offended glare you gave him. “Quaint.”

“Not everyone can become rich off the lives of others.” You reached down to your boots, unzipping one side and tossing them both to the corner of the room. He wasn’t entirely wrong, and sometimes things weren’t ideal for you. But, you weren’t in love with him for the life he offered you, he needed to understand that. “Did you ever stop to think you may have overly romanticized….this?” You pointed at him and you, trying to hide the pained look in your eyes. It was a terrible and unfair question to pose to him, because you knew it was as far from the truth as anything could be. But, he was pushing it, knowing if he fought hard enough you’d cave and be his again. Stolen away from this planet, and plunged once again into a world filled with deceit, murder and genocide. It was a miracle you saw through him to begin with.

Balem scoffed, hands clasped loosely behind him as he let his gaze tear away from you for a moment. He watched the city outside, a determined expression on his handsome features that made you hold your breath in worry. Had you offended him? Was your response so cold, it possibly ruined anything? It was hard to tell now, and you could only imagine being away from him for so long had caused a lapse in your knowledge of his mannerisms.

Thankfully, he did not keep you wondering for long. With a turn of his head, he set his sights on you, a bitter smile stretching over his lips as he made it clear he was not interested in childhood fairy tales. “I do not waste my own time, little bird.”

Everyones eyes were upon you two, and if they were moving away because it was Balem or simply in awe you weren’t sure. But, as he spun you gracefully away and met you again, you eagerly fell into his arms letting him lead you through the dance. His eyes never left yours throughout the dance, and though his expression seemed stoic, his gaze held something more. Like a sparkle of desire mixed with something you couldn’t quite figure out. 

A/N: 28! I’ll shut up, but know this one is long!! Like…it’s 7,879 words long. Lol

MOOD MUSIC: Walk through the fire by Zayde Wolf

***

That point in time made itself known by the rhythmic ticking of the clock. Each swing of the pendulum making you realize how critical your decision was. You could’ve backed out, you still could you supposed, but somehow defying any of the Abrasax family seemed a dangerous game to play. There was very little power left in your hands, and you resigned yourself to accepting that. “Okay…” You mumbled to yourself, trying to calm your nerves from kicking in. Your eyes glanced out the chamber windows, watching a number of clippers go by. For such a large and endless universe, you somehow felt entirely alone in it. You wondered if Balem was out there, trying to search for you through all this mess. In your bones, you had to believe that he was. No matter what point you were in your relationship with him now…all you felt was this desire to be near him. Although, somewhere in the deep corners of your mind you weren’t even sure you could face him anymore. It was like a potent mix of emotions boiling inside you, causing conflict within your heart. What would you say to him? How could you explain the decision you were making? At this point, there was plenty of questions, but only one constant answer. You didn’t know.

As you let out a shaky breath, the doors slid open, revealing Famulus in her gold dress. She seemed ready for a royal wedding, but that smirk on her lips implied otherwise. “Titus is ready for you.”

You hesitated in your spot, one hand pressed against the glass. The apprehension kept you in place for a second, but regardless of your choices, if you didn’t move, someone would gladly retrieve you for their lord. “Yeah…” You nodded at her, giving the view one last glance before following after her. You prayed to whatever gods there were that he’d be out there looking for you right now.

“This way.” His assistant smiled, moving aside and holding her arm out. You merely stared at her in contempt, brushing passed her rudely and following the few guards down the hall. They made it seem a big deal, this wedding, and you could scarcely believe Titus would blow such an amount on an arranged marriage. But, knowing the wealth he was rumored to squander, it shouldn’t have been that shocking an action. The Abrasax clan enjoyed flaunting their power and wealth to whoever would pay attention.

“And there she is! My blushing bride.” Titus spoke with an excitement in his tone, finding more to be proud of in this arrangement than you did. He stood there at the end of the hallway, large smile plastered on his lips as he held his hand out to you. You paused next to him, glaring down at it like he was extending an insult your way. It took all your willpower to ignore the urge to yell, but you did it. With a scowl upon your face you turned away from him, and kept walking.

“Charming.” He chuckled, nodding for his guards to follow closely at his side while he caught up with you. “You made the right choice.” Titus whispered, leaning down and brushing a strand of hair from your face. You pulled away from him in frustration, trying to keep this walk in a state of silence. He kept on speaking, sometimes letting his hand linger too long on your shoulder or side. By now, you began to drown out his words, focusing on the sound of your heels to the floor and the footsteps of the guards. It was all you could do to remain sane, but as your eyes drifted around the area you chanced upon the soldier next to you, his gloved hand resting cautiously over his gun. At the ready should any attack occur.

It was a choice that would appear asinine to most, but that alarm in you would not shut off. Of all the options fate would place in your hands, this one seemed the most plausible. You could end this, but the cost seemed incredibly high. You knew even if you managed to get your hands on it, the soldiers would kill you where you stood. No matter how many times you ran the outcomes, it was never in your favor. Right now though, you didn’t truly care. You looked towards Titus, his mouth still moving with mindless chatter and with a steady hand you began to reach over, hoping you could get to it in time.

“Here we are.”

His voice broke your movement, your heart now pounding wildly in your chest. You could only count yourself lucky your foolish attempt hadn’t been noticed by anyone. “What?” You mumbled, senses coming back to you.

Titus gestured for his entourage to open the doors, and as soon as he did the white light of the church blinded you, making you squint and look away. An orchestra accompanied the glorious view, and applause greeted you both as you waltzed in. As the view became more distinguishable, the nerves kicked in again, your eyes darting over the numerous guests that gazed at you like a queen already. “What is all this?”

“A formality. Most of them are sims, a usual for a royal wedding, pay them no mind. Now, come.” He gave your back a soft push, your body heading forward as the crowd gossiped below in joy. It was a strange feeling, being the center of attention amongst those you knew nothing of. Had Titus already announced you as his equal? It seemed an unlikely thing to do, but the the gaze of the crowd told otherwise. “Why are they-“

“I told you, pay them no mind.” Titus motioned for his guards to meet him down below, his hand still stationed at your back protectively. Though you guessed it was for insurance on his part, after all why risk losing his key to success.

“Right.” You spoke, still hesitating to move forward until the platform rose for you both. He took your hand and climbed atop the device, still smiling smugly with the pride of his future. You wanted to fight back, to rescind on your offer, but there was hope for you yet. As you placed one heel on the platform, a vision of luck attracted you to the window.

“It can’t be…” It was a faint whisper, so low no one could hear it through the cheers and applause of the Sims down below. But, you were aware of its meaning, and the dark of space tore open, the many hues of a portal opening up as a large black ship fabricated within it. With every foot that was revealed of its grand entrance, you felt your heart quicken. You would know that clipper anywhere, because nothing had ever quite taken your breath away as that beautiful and ominous technology.

“A smile? Are you almost happy for us?” Titus teased you, not realizing the cause of your joy. You were thankful for that, because your little slip up would’ve bought the pompous man time for a defense strategy. Now was not the time for snide remarks though, and you willed away the smile, nodding over at him.

“We’re all full of surprises…” You responded, hoping his assistant hadn’t become privy of Balem’s arrival. Not that the First Primary would find fault in that. He did adore making an entrance, grander than anything anyone could come up with. “Shall we then?” You feigned excitement now, probably coming on too strong, but Titus hardly cared anymore. He was already enamored with the idea of getting all he ever wanted.

“You read my mind, my dear.” He tugged you near him, the platform now floating down towards the long and heavily decorated aisle. Flowers flourished along the pews, each red and white and equally beautiful. If only this was an actual wedding, where two people loved each other, you’d likely appreciate the decorum more.

With a newly discovered energy, you followed him to the pulpit, the priest awaiting you both at the end. He had a smile on his face, likely unaware of the schemes the youngest Abrasax had formulated.

“Are you both ready?” The priest inquired, looking you over with interest before directing his question to Titus. By this point they had begun talking, every word now being drowned out by your thoughts. Your hope was placed in Balem now, and as Titus released your hand from his, you glanced over at the large stained glass windows again. In a few minutes, he’d likely be here, and that would be the end of this nightmare.

***

The Primary gazed ahead at the commonwealth ministry, watching as the church floated beautifully over the city. He had not bothered returning to this planet for a long time, it was almost a reminder of his family. Each member more pathetic than the last. He couldn’t begin to state the extent of his loathing for them all, but witnessing this mess Titus had created first hand…it destroyed any form of mercy he held within him.

“Have they received the signifying bonds?” He questioned bitterly, leaning back on his throne while the advisor scurried around him in worry. Mr. Night had tried to keep the ferocious leader at bay, but the longer this journey took, the angrier Balem became.

“I-“

“Do you have anything of WORTH,” Balem’s voice rose towards the end, his eyes becoming wild with rage as Mr. Night attempted to deflect his questions. “To say!” He slammed his fist on the arm of his throne, jaw tight as he tried to will his anger away. Every second they grew closer to you, to Titus, he felt that control loosen inside him. Nothing would satisfy him until he had his brother’s head on a pike. “Mr. Night…” Balem’s tone wavered, eyes narrowing dangerously towards the church as he awaited an answer.

“W-We’ve not heard any word, my lord. It would seem the ceremony is barely starting.” The advisor refilled the cup of wine near his lord, constantly stealing glances at him. He knew Balem was beyond pacification now, but he could only hope the Primary didn’t take everyone down along his war path. “Shall we make communication with Titus, Lord Balem?”

The Primary never tore his eyes from the church, his fingertips tapping along his chin as he contemplated his move. But, there was no other way around this situation now. Calm endings was never his forte, and he wasn’t planning on showing mercy anymore. “Defense shields up.”

The captain never hesitated in his commands, and he ordered the crew members around before taking his seat at the front. The glow of the shields began to form around the clipper, ready to take the brunt of any blasts or impacts they may encounter. “Shields are up, Lord Balem.”

Balem scowled deeply, ready to bring this foolish plan of his brother’s to an end.

“Take him down.”

His advisor’s eyes widened, nearly spilling the wine he held in his concern for their safety. “My lord, I strongly-“

“If you are so frightened, Mr. Night, I suggest you scurry away like the rat you are. Otherwise, you will provide me with nothing but silence.”

The most frightening thing of his career, was the days Balem held a calm rage to him. Where the ferocity in his eyes was so evident it could still the breath in you, but the demeanor he held betrayed that. Mr. Night had learned long ago to never approach or try to steer him from his decisions in this state, and so he shut his mouth, taking a seat and bracing himself instead.

“Prepare for impact.” The captain warned, and within seconds the head of the clipper collided with the church.

***

Titus held his hand up to the crowd, the constant cheers finally clawing at your nerves. He seemed annoyingly proud of it, that signifying bond upon his finger, as if that tiny detail alone would award him the very secrets of the universe. He turned to you after gaining the affection of the guests, and smiled in a very eerily happy manner. “Your turn.”

You chewed nervously at your lip, watching him closely for any sign of refusal. But, you knew better than to expect his sudden disgust with you. With a meek nod you turned to the priest, and parted your lips to recite the vows of his world. “I, Y/N…enter into this union…” You paused, eyes drifting anxiously to the large stained glass windows above. He was here, your salvation, he was right outside and you couldn’t stall this for much longer. You felt the apprehension again, the vows now hard to preach when the thought of Balem being outside hung in your mind. Trying to pretend everything alright was becoming difficult, because somehow his presence made you want to break down.

Unfortunately, your facade was well documented by the very people Titus put in place to protect him. Without being aware, Famulus had noticed your slip, and her suspicious gaze followed in your direction. There wasn’t much she could see through the stained glass, but her instincts were good enough to take action. She lifted her wrist to her lips, speaking softly into the device she had while you remained in the dark.

It was Titus’ cough that alerted you, his eyebrows lifting as if to rush you into continuing the ceremony. You pursed your lips, and shoved the doubt in your mind away now, hoping you could buy just a little more time. “Being of sound mind and…and…” It couldn’t happen, even with Balem just outside you didn’t have it in you anymore to complete this foolish plan. Maybe it was the proof of his affections for you, coming to your rescue like this, or maybe you just couldn’t betray him even in jest.

Titus narrowed his eyes at you, his expression drifting from worried to angry. It wasn’t until you saw Famulus lean over to him and whisper that those cold, dark eyes grew impossibly vengeful. “You conniving little-“

The glass along the walls shattered into nothing, the shards looking dangerously beautiful as they fell in a glow of colors. It was hard to appreciate such a sight, when the screams of the guests followed suit. You had to duck your head, barely escaping Titus’ reach when he screamed at you and his guards. “Get my bloody army! Start firing you fools.” He reached for you again, missing a step and finding purchase on the pulpit. He tried desperately to remain dignified, but the crash that rocked the church left the building tilting onto its side. “Famulus!”

His assistant slid down the steps, barely keeping herself safe as the pillars began to fall onto the pews. You crawled your way along the aisle, knowing if you even tried to stand it wouldn’t end well. You wondered why Balem chose such a way to attack, but you figured that entitled fury wouldn’t stay caged for long.

The groan of the archways resounded along the church, the marble and stone cracking rather pathetically as the clipper curved against the walls. It came to a halt on the pathway above, the ramp of Balem’s ship finally descending onto the debris. You had to watch in awe of the whole ordeal, heart ready to just see his face again. But, as you waited for his arrival, Titus’ soldiers came rushing from the back, already shooting their guns to the many soldiers coming from the clipper. In the panic you began moving away, taking shelter behind a pew as lasers flew passed your head. If it wasn’t for the cries of the priest falling dead next to you, you would’ve sat silently with your head in your hands. Trying to pretend you were anywhere else but here. Somewhere in the distance you could hear Titus, still trying to bark orders to the men around him. You didn’t dare listen, placing your focus on surviving instead. But, the scream of agony that came next was hard to ignore.

With a gasp, you looked over the bench, eyes widening when you saw Titus on the floor. He was cradling his leg, blood dripping violently from the wound, and judging by the look on his face he was terrified. You almost pitied him, but the darker side of you reveled in the knowledge he finally felt pain. Even if it was a simple gunshot wound, he was now victim to the same feelings he caused everyone else.

“TITUS!”

You froze, fingertips digging into the bench when his voice rang down from above. It wasn’t that long since you last saw him, or even had the pleasure of hearing his voice…but it certainly felt that way. The fact that he was actually here, it wasn’t fully clear to you still, and as childish as it was you couldn’t bring yourself to turn just yet. That lingering fear of not seeing him again was still alive and well in your turmoil.

“Well there you are, dear brother!” Titus choked out between gasps of pain, crawling his way up the steps and towards the broken pulpit. Even with that vindictive tone, you could plainly see the fear in his eyes. Yet he still tried to escape his brother’s clutches, and ordered his soldiers to continue their advance on him. “I didn’t think you’d make it, Balem.” He laughed, wincing when he attempted to pull himself up.

It took a fool’s courage to continue that instigating, especially towards a man of Balem’s status. You had to admire Titus for that, even if it meant punishment. But, you grew sick of looking at him, now realizing just how pathetic a man he really was. And you couldn’t put off seeing Balem anymore, you had to fight your anxiety about it eventually. “Balem…” You sucked in a breath, exhaling softly as you slowly drew yourself to set your eyes on him.

What a contrast, was your first thought, because nobody in the world would ever be capable of emitting the power of the man standing above the pathway. Looking down at his injured brother with a gaze that spoke volumes of his lifelong hatred. It nearly took your breath away, seeing that authority of his striking in the air. And amidst the lights of the soldier’s guns around him, he looked ready to exact the revenge he had thirsted for. The sentimental half of you longed to call to him, to put aside the dangers and run into his arms, but you stayed frozen there…simply staring at this person you considered closer than anybody in your life.

Then his eyes fell upon you, making you forget all reservations you held if only for a moment. There was nothing like it, that feeling, like neither of you were prepared to accept the reality of your proximity. But, the second his eyes softened…you knew it was very real. Though no smile would grace his features, as always, his eyes were the expressive part and you knew immediately that there was relief in them. Time wasn’t on your side, however, and instead of a grand reunion you simply nodded at him. Needing him to know that you were safe at the very least.

Balem stared down at you, calmly releasing the breath he had been holding. Even meeting your gaze tore him apart, knowing that he still had to attend to pressing matters before taking you in his arms and bringing those lips he adored into a desperate kiss. But, until he had the privilege, he’d settle for destroying his brother and ripping him of everything he held dear. His gaze fell to Titus once more, his boots connecting with the platform as he descended into the pandemonium below. It’s like every foot he grew closer the world around stopped for him, the lasers ceasing, the screams lessening, he had a presence that could freeze the heavens if he willed it.

Balem gracefully got off the platform, his rhythmic strides taking him down the aisle towards his brother. He passed numerous injured soldiers along the way, some his, some Titus’. But, he barely paid their death throes any mind. In his opinion, they were all expendable, merely a means to an end.

You stood back against the pews, trying to summon the energy to fully stand as he grew close to you. But, the adrenaline coursing through your veins made it difficult to keep still. With a quick brush of your hands you removed the debris from your dress, and snagged the gaudy headpiece Titus made you wear off. You tossed it unceremoniously to the side of the church, the sound of the beads and silver bending against the dilapidated pillars. You felt Balem’s presence looming closer and while you expected the Primary to simply pass you by and head towards his weakened brother he seemed interested in other plans. The second you turned, you found him next to you, his green gaze mapping every inch of your body for any sign of harm. It took everything not to cry, even more not to succumb to the desire to be held. All you could do was let out a shaky breath and hope that would somehow be enough to placate him.

“My little bird…” Balem’s eyes grew relieved at the sight of you, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. But, he didn’t touch you, not at first. He held it there against your cheek, the proximity enough to produce an effect on you. It was like electricity lingering, the heat coming from his palm begging you to cease all other rational thought. And then he caressed you, his fingertips barely stroking over your skin before he finally closed the distance. You held in your gasp, lips parting slightly to fit against his own. Balem kissed you hard, desperately, and it was like he stole your breath from your body and only demanded you focus on him and you. And how could you not? There were hardly any words to describe it, it was like an equal sense of joy and worry that you couldn’t shake. But, you craved it, yearned for it always. A simple moment in time when nothing in the world mattered but the sensation of his kiss.

You placed a trembling hand on his chest, releasing a labored breath as he peeled his lips from yours. He allowed himself a minute to linger there, that desirous look in his eyes making you flush red in front of him. He could not waste further time though, and with one soft press of his lips to your forehead he moved on to take care of Titus. All you could do was kneel down to the pew again, taking shelter behind it while you hoped the Primary would be safe.

“If you had just prostrated before me,” Balem smirked wickedly, his pride thoroughly entertained by Titus crawling fearfully away. His brother was too injured to stand, and there was nothing more poetic than finding the one person who wanted him down on his knees, now pathetically on his own. He reached him easily, keeping his strides shortened just to stall next to Titus. Balem enjoyed the power play, even more when he slammed his boot over the wound on his brother’s leg and elicited a murderous scream. “We wouldn’t be here, Titus.”

“Always the dramatic one, Balem…” Titus gritted his teeth, trying to reach for his wound only for Balem to stop him.

The Primary gripped his wrist hard, twisting his arm back as he leaned dangerously close to him. “Now look at you, my little brother.” He pulled roughly on Titus, bringing him up to look him in the eye. “Pathetically clinging to this idea of hope, well, I think you’ll find-“ He applied pressure to the leg wound, finding pleasure in how his brother cried out. He had to admire his refusal to beg, but he honestly wished for nothing more than that. “There is none left for you.”

Balem shoved Titus back to the ground, the sound of the glass crunching under Titus’ head. It was sickening how easily the mighty could fall, and Balem watched delightedly as the blood seeped from his brother’s face. He could hear Titus groaning in pain, desperately trying to reach back towards him to gain some upper hand in this fight. Unfortunately for him, Balem was in no mood for childish games anymore. He would end this here, and he’d make sure of it this time.

Balem lowered himself to his level, fingers curling in his brother’s hair before he promptly slammed his face harder into the shards on the floor. He could hear them tear into Titus’ skin, destroying that handsome face he seemed so proud of. “You have defied me for the last time, Titus!” He flipped his brother over, the glass embedded into his skin now stained red from his blood. It was a beautiful sight to him, something only he could be fond of. Yet, Titus still laughed through his agony…that same frustrating laugh that made Balem go mad with rage.

“I didn’t think,” Titus choked, spitting out blood as he smirked up at Balem. “It was possible to find hatred deeper than the one I felt for mother…”He spat directly into his older brother’s face, chuckling when the flecks of blood splattered over those prominent cheekbones of his. But, Balem kept his composure, merely clutching Titus’ hair tighter as he continued to speak. “You just love proving me wrong, Balem.”

The Primary clicked his tongue in annoyance, tugging Titus back to his feet and aiding him up the steps to the pulpit. He settled him against it, keeping him there while he retrieved a large shard of stained glass from the ground. He didn’t even care when it cut into his own palm, his anger was enough to quell the pain.

“I’ve heard enough from you, Ti-“

“Let him go!”

Balem quickly pulled Titus into his hold, turning around and using his brother as a shield from the potential threat. There was something eerily familiar about this situation, once again finding himself furious at another for holding something he held dear. And seeing Titus’ assistant, her dainty arm tangled around your neck like that, he was seeing red.

Famulus was shaking uncontrollably against you, holding you in the same position Titus was in. You offered Balem an apologetic look, knowing you should’ve ran for it when you had the chance. But, it was more than fear leaving you paralyzed. You mouthed a ‘sorry’ to him, holding onto Famulus’ arm as she pushed the barrel of the gun into your temple.

She looked absolutely destroyed standing there, barely holding onto her captive as blood dripped down her forehead from a scrape. Needless to say, Balem wasn’t impressed with her display of loyalty towards his brother. “Let her go. Now.” He seethed, clutching the glass harder in his hand and cutting through his own skin. He held it threateningly towards Titus’ throat, inwardly cheering as his brother stiffened in fear against him.

“No…” Famulus muttered weakly, darting her eyes from you to Balem over and over until she drove herself half mad.

“This isn’t a game.” Balem’s eyes grew deadly, his hair falling into his face from the struggle of keeping Titus still. He didn’t like when his plans were interrupted, least of all when someone of no status was the cause of it. “If you have any hope of leaving this deplorable church alive,” He pressed the tip of the glass into Titus’ neck, barely listening as his brother gasped in pain when the shard pierced his skin slowly. “You’ll release her. NOW!”

“I will not!” She stumbled through her words, trying to resist the overwhelming need to cry out for her master. She tugged you tighter into her, almost like she found comfort in your unwilling embrace. “Release him first…go on!” Famulus gestured towards Balem with the gun, obviously unstable with her plan.

With a shake of your head, you willed Balem not to do anything. Call it the courage of a fool, but you knew even if he was idiotic enough to release Titus, Famulus could still turn against you. In this moment, you weren’t sure of what to do, because wishing for the death of another was not like you. It was instinct to simply let them have you instead. “Balem, don’t.”

“Stop talking!” Famulus nudged the gun harder into you, causing you to wince in slight discomfort of the metal. If she pulled that trigger, the blast from the laser would be the end of you. And as panicked as she was, you were already thinking over all your life regrets.

Balem caught your eyes, a mixture of fury and doubt on his features. It didn’t help with your situation, but it was that silent plea behind them that made you listen. He was begging you to save yourself from harm’s way this time. Because, just like you, he was aware letting Titus go would do neither of you any good. He began to lift the glass away from Titus, attempting to disarm himself so Famulus would let you go. And every inch he withdrew his weapon, she did as well.

The pressure against your temple softened, and that was the second you took your chance at freedom. As her arm drifted away, you reached for it, pushing hard and watching as she shot the gun and a laser barely missed Balem and Titus. You heard the Primary darkly chuckle, his smug reply being the last thing Titus would ever hear. He pulled him closer, whispering casually into his ear. “Farewell then, dear little brother.” And as you fell to the ground in a heap along with Famulus, you heard the shard sink deeply into Titus’ throat. The gurgling is what made you look away, shutting your eyes tight as to forget that image forever. But, the sound of his body hitting the floor made sure to keep you perfectly alert to the damage already done as he bled out.

“NO!!” You turned to see Famulus crying, sunk down to her knees and fighting back her anguished sobs. You felt for her, you truly did, regardless of her wrong doing…she was just another piece in this terrible game.

“Pathetic.” Balem scoffed down at his brother, mentally taking a picture of this moment. He would never forget the exhaustion Titus had caused him, and he would make sure his name disappeared from the records of Abrasax forever. He gracefully walked over Titus’ body, cape drifting over him like he was merely a commoner in the streets. It was a strange thing to think, but after that chaotic display…it’s like you barely knew Balem. Until now, every violent act had been kept from you, it was like meeting him all over again in a darker light.

“Balem-“

He ignored your call, his gaze stopping on the splice who would dare to interfere with his family matters. He had no remorse for her loss, and as she sat crying on the floor, he took up her gun and held it inches away from her head.

“Balem, do-!” You sat there in a stunned silence, eyes widening when you saw her body fall forward onto the broken pews. It was one thing to have hatred for a man who constantly deprived you of joy in life. It was another to waste a life that only blindly followed the powerful. “Wha-…” You couldn’t believe he had just taken Famulus’ life like nothing. Even if she had wronged him by listening to Titus…you didn’t believe she deserved it. It was unreal, too harsh a situation to fathom, but by the time you recognized how awful this all was Balem was by your side again.

“Little bird.”

“N-No…” You had no control of your words or body, and your denial was said in temporary shock. All you could manage was a weak gasp and a panicked look to him. “I-“

Balem sighed heavily, watching as your hand shook over your mouth in distress. There was little he could do to comfort your fear, but he cupped your cheek gently, brow furrowing when you backed away from him. He respected the space you needed, knowing this sort of trial was not one you were accustomed to just yet. But, his hand lingered over your skin, caressing you from centimeters away while keeping the respectful distance you required. His hand was covered in blood, he could not completely drown you in such atrocities for today. “Come.” He brushed his knuckles over your cheek, gripping your arms and pulling you up with him before leading you away. “This church will not hold up much longer, we have to go. Now.”

You obeyed him quietly, stumbling forward when he gave your lower back a soft nudge. In the back of your mind, you knew this place could potentially explode, but all your body wanted was to fall down and stay there for days. And traversing the piles of bodies lying around was the horrid part of it.

“Y/N…”

You heard your name, but it sounded so far away now, and you barely registered who said it but you were sure it was Balem. His hands were still cradling you against him, cape enveloping you slightly as he met his advisor at the entrance his clipper had created. Their conversation was muddled by the weak cries for help from those who appeared to survive the first battle, but they would go unanswered.

“Right away, my lord!”

There was shuffling around, Balem’s soldiers rushing back up the ramp and both of you following suit. But, even in the safety of his arms, you felt impossibly broken.

***

You sat silently on the edge of the bed, bloodied fingers digging anxiously into the sheets. You couldn’t shake the sound of their screams from your head, nor the scenes of chaos caused by the Abrasax family. It was almost impossible to comprehend how two people could be the cause of so much pain in the world. You didn’t want to believe it, but the reality was plain as day.

“Any pain?” The medic dabbed gently at your minor injuries, the healing spray they used sealing the cuts right up. You nodded solemnly at him, barely registering what he even said. He nodded anyway, clearly uncomfortable with the silence you had provided him. He was in no position to argue though, and the last thing he wanted was for his lord to find fault in him. So with one last look over he let you be, his expression concerned before walking out the doors.

You could hear voices coming from the other side, one immediately capturing your attention. You could pick that tone out anywhere, and as you prepared yourself to meet with him, the doors slid open once more.

Balem wandered into the ship’s chambers, his eyes settling upon you in your pitiful state. He had never seen you look so crestfallen before, even during the early days of your courtship. He would take anything above your constant silence, even the attitude you so willfully gave him on most occasions. “Little bird…” He cooed softly, taking a seat next to you on the bed.

You barely glanced up at him, noticing the fine golden armor he was clad in now. He was completely washed of the blood and the guilt, if he felt that at all, and for some reason it distressed you. However, some part of you was aware that he had also considered you when changing. It was clear to see that the tattered state of his outfit had shaken you.

Without a word, he reached forward, taking a strand of your hair and brushing it away from your sweaty forehead. There was a scowl etched onto his features and you guessed it was due to your lack of conversation. But you couldn’t think of much to say now, your thoughts were too muddled for any proper sentences to form. “Here.” He cautiously spoke, not wanting to disturb whatever peace you may have settled into. He leaned over to the small table next to the bed, grabbing the bowl of water the medic had left behind. You watched curiously as he wrung the cloth out, the water sloshing over the edge of the bowl when he placed it between you both.

You expected him to hand you the towel, to walk away and demand you clean yourself up. It would appear there was a human inside him after all though, and with the most tender of touches he gripped your hands and held them gently over the bowl as he began to wash the blood away. You would’ve been enamored with him, but as the water turned a soft pink with all the blood caked onto your nails and hands you grew disgusted.

This felt so wrong deep down, and there was a repulsion inside you unlike anything before. Perhaps to men like Balem, all this horror was a regular occurrence, but you had never faced such chaos. Whatever traumas you held in life, they would never compare to the daily rituals of the elite in the universe. The truth was, it was just too much to register. Up until now, you had assumed he orchestrated numerous deadly plots against his family and those he deemed unworthy. But you always figured he kept that side of his world a secret from you. Far away where the negative aspects couldn’t do you harm. But, it would appear no matter how thorough he was, it still reached you. With a soft cry you fell forward into him, laying your head against his shoulder and releasing the sobs you had tried hiding away. You felt him stiffen, his hands still supporting yours. He stayed silent through your crying, unsure of how to proceed from here.

“I can’t…” You shook your head dejectedly. “This is…I-“ No matter how hard you pushed through, the words would not come forth. They remained stuck in your heart where the conflict you faced weighed it down. “I just…” Perhaps you did love him, with every fiber of your being, so much so it nearly hurt. But, in all the splendor of your romance you had forgotten the world around you and all this hell that came with it. It would be the words of Titus that stuck with you now, knowing he was right in saying you had become blind to his brother’s ways.

“You need rest, my beauty.” Balem comforted you, as best as he was able, and while you stilled in your sobs he slowly pulled free of you. With a compassionate nature he lifted your chin, his thumb sweeping along your bottom lip. You could see he intended to speak, to woo you into another bout of sweet nothings. But, you couldn’t stomach it right now.

“I want to go home.”

“We are-“

“No!” In your sorrow you shoved him aside, moving from the bed and pacing around the room. To an outsider you must’ve looked insane, but you had grown weary of the self pity and doubt you felt. “Earth, Balem!” You tore the worn gown from your body, quickly changing into the new clothes he had supplied you with. “My home.” You pulled the black top over your head, smoothing the material out before pointing at yourself for emphasis. “Your life is-“ There it was again, the doubt that clawed at your conscience, keeping you from spilling the necessary words to him. You couldn’t even bear to look at him. “I fell into your world, I wanted to resist it…but, I-“ You turned from him, hugging yourself as you carefully formed your thoughts. “I can’t keep watching you almost die, to watch others die…to nearly lose my own life!” You choked back your tears, immediately wiping the few that escaped. “This is too much.”

You heard the rustle of his clothing behind you, that familiar growl behind his words capturing your attention. “Enough of this talk.” His hands grabbed your shoulders, turning you around to look him in the eye as you denied him. The misery behind his stare was painful to take in, but even through his despondency he kept his demeanor in check like any king would. “Little bird.” There was a torture behind his tone, a sliver of forgiveness that he sought, and while you had no intention to analyze every detail of his emotions the minute his forehead touched yours you froze. “You’ve no idea what you mean to me…” his palms cradled around your cheeks, the corner of his lip twitching in discomfort of your admission.

This was the man you fell in love with, the softer side of his being that lulled you dangerously into a larger trap. There wasn’t a single part of him you hated, but there were aspects of his personality that were so cruel you weren’t sure you could ignore it any longer. The worst of it was you wanted to lean forward, to kiss him and pretend everything would go back to some semblance of normal. But, that wasn’t likely to occur anymore. You reached for his wrists, holding onto them weakly as you fought your heartache. “Take me home, Balem. Please.” He was a man who was capable of a deep caring, unconditional love. But, above that was someone who thrived on taking empires for himself, using human lives on earth for his financial gain…he couldn’t possibly change enough to be yours, or you his. “Take me home.”

Balem pressed his forehead harder into yours, his jaw trembling with an uncontrolled anger. You felt his grip on your arms tighten, but there was still that reluctance to ever lay harm to you. So he pulled away roughly, letting out a scream that could strike fear into anyone. His fist connected with the table, tossing the object on its side as he tried desperately to control himself. He could barely handle looking at you anymore, knowing all he ever wanted and wished for was slipping from his fingers. He loathed that vulnerability in him. “I did not cross the vastness of space to destroy all those lives…!”

You stared silently at his back, watching guiltily as he ran his hands through his hair. “Tell me you had no intention of killing Titus, or Famulus…or all those other innocent people…” The truth was, somewhere deep down you were elated he killed his brother, and that’s what caused such a struggle in you. There was a little bit of you vanishing every day you spent here, and no matter how hard you tried to deny it the evidence was there in the way you felt. Rooting for the death of another because it made your life easier. “Tell me, Balem.” No matter how bad you wanted to believe otherwise, you knew he went into that church intending for him and you to be the only ones walking out.

Balem’s head lifted slowly, but he still kept himself from gazing upon you. “I would drive that shard into his wretched throat a thousand times over…”

You could feel the disappointment growing, knowing all along what his motives were. Of course you were grateful for his interference, because without him you wouldn’t be alive or worse, married to a cold and callous man. That didn’t excuse the apprehension you had for his execution of those intentions.

“If it meant saving your life.” He continued on, trying to convey just how deep his care for you went. He wasn’t a fool though, and he knew when the battle was lost. “I will take you back to earth…” Balem could’ve forced his hand, asserted his authority and demanded you stay by his side until fate took him. Truth be told, he wanted to, because letting you go was not the outcome he had needed. In his mind this would’ve been the end of life’s interferences. Titus was dead, Kalique was no longer a threat, and the very power of his name was all his again. All he required was you by his side, forever. Yet, there was a point in someone’s heart where they realized the one they loved meant more than their own desires. He loved you, so unconditionally it conflicted with all his values. It was a foreign concept to him, but what he truly wished was for you to be happy. Anything to see that smile that could lift his spirits, and if he could grant you that…he would. “If that is what you desire.” He would give you anything in this universe, even if it meant his pain.

You could fight that feeling for years, but you were certain no amount of internal forgiveness could satiate the void. There was a conflict within you, one you weren’t ready to accept fully. How could you possibly just walk away from him, when all you wanted was to be in his arms at the same time? It was like a dread weighing heavy on your heart, and looking at him just made it worse. “I…” There wasn’t anything of worth to say anymore, at least not in his eyes, of that you were sure. You wondered if he hated you, perhaps loathed the heartache you had caused him. Perhaps that notion hurt even more than leaving. “I love you.” It was all you could think to say, because in this moment you felt it so deeply in spite of the choice you were making. He was everything for you, but his life, you weren’t capable of handling it. You convinced yourself of that.

With nothing else to say, you backed away from him, the need to reach out and comfort him so strong you had to physically hold your hand down. You wished he’d say something, you’d take anything at this point even a scream or punishment. Something besides the silence he permitted you with. “Well,” You bit down on your quivering lip, giving him one last look and hoping he’d turn around. It wasn’t a fair request to be sure, but you still selfishly wished for it. “I’ll be in the lower levels.” You turned on your heel, and almost made your way out the chamber doors before his strong grip imprisoned your wrist.

Balem held you like that, his grip trembling just slightly you almost missed it. He didn’t speak, he barely even breathed, but you knew him well enough to gauge what his gesture meant. He didn’t want you to go.

“Balem, I-“

Before you could finish, he dropped your hand, the small caress of his fingertips causing that familiar pain to take you. You had to fight back the tears, that same conflict coming back to you. But, he still remained silent as ever, and the last thing you heard was the fall of his footsteps heading away.