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Phil: What was that Muggle game you were playing on your phone on the Hogwarts Express home? The one with the dice?
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TEXT 🎲 CALOCTETES
Phil: What was that Muggle game you were playing on your phone on the Hogwarts Express home? The one with the dice?

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cal, will, and jake
All dudes... You guys sure know how to make a girl want to pass on this kind of thing. But fine, I’ll do my part:
Bed: @calcalhoun. Only because he seems more likely to want to stay up all night talking than to actually try to make a move.
Wed: @williampuff. Political reasons, really. I’d be a great queen. Fuck the patriarchy.
Behead: @jungledudejake. I don’t do dick and he has no political advantage, so... sorry? Doesn’t mean I think you’re a bad dude, you’re just really not my type.
WED, BED, AND BEHEAD.
CAL, PIN, JAKE
Bed: @jungledudejake? Like, if I had to. He seems like he’d be good at, you know, making sure you’re comfortable and you get what you like. Not that I care! Or want all those like, warm fuzzy things.Â
Wed: @calcalhoun. Murdering an innocent Hufflepuff feels mean, even to me.
Behead: @pinxgeppetto. He annoyed me last time I talked to him, he’s got to go.Â
WED, BED, AND BEHEAD.