#lmconfessions

My name means 'to ascend', which means 'to rise'. This I know for sure… I will be on top of the world one day.

I’ve always liked holding hands, especially with a man. It’s a wonder for me to see the difference between mine (small and petite) and his (large and usually callused). It also gives me this feeling of security too. Like the man (whether he be my grandfather, uncle, or lover) is saying, ‘I got you. No matter what, I’ll protect you.’ …Sadly it’s probably just my daddy issues rising to the surface.

Confession. I enjoy dancing alone in my room; my music of choice is Jazz. Sounds of a horn and strings smoothly resonating throughout the dim lit setting: me raising my arms as if inviting someone to dance. My eyes closed.. my body swaying to the music. While dancing, I confess to having these moments where I briefly see the unfamiliar face of a man in the back corner of my mind. I don’t know where or when this man entered my subconscious. Yet every time he is there waiting to dance with me. A warmth radiates from his ethereal presence, and he smiles with a profound happiness. Then once the final chord of the song plays out, my mystery man disappears, back to wherever he came from…I confess to believing this strange man is the image of my soulmate; who is dancing alone in his room and sees me in his head as well. It’s like we’re connecting. Trying to tell each other, ‘I know you’re out there…I know you’re mine’.

Thanks for the memories.

Sometimes I just need a hug. Not words of condolence or wisdom.. Just a nice, secure HUG.