Rock & Read 45: Maya Solo Interview
Maya Rock & Read 45 Solo Interview
Looking back on 2012, I want to ask whatâs your outlook for next year, but first, how do you spend your youthful days?
 Maya: Well, first of all, I came here thinking about what I should talk about. We finished a long tour and weâre not recording right now, so my feelings have calmed down. Late yesterday night I was reading my past interviews in Rock & Read.
 I remember, last time you had also read your interviews.
 Maya: Yes, I re-read. I havenât had a place where Iâve had such a long personal interview, so I was honored. I consider these interviews precious opportunities as well. So, thatâs why I always reread, every time I have an interview coming up. But this time, when I was rereading, I focused more, than I have before, on I was actually saying. Iâve been interviewed by you (Rock & Read) three times before this. Looking back through everything I did, I thought, âAh, I see!â
 (Laughs) âI see!â What do you mean?
 Maya: Well, I have nothing to say (laughs).
 (Laughs) So itâs like, âI talked about space, about love, about how to live happily.â Is that it?
 Maya: Right. The first time I spoke about my past, but I donât know what part I should talk about. So, I try avoid talking about it. I wasnât lying, everything printed was what I said, but there was still a sense of self-censoring. As I did more interviews I self-censored less and less, thatâs how I came to the conclusion, I have nothing left to talk about.
 So, in three interviews you were naked?
 Maya: Yeah, I was able to articulate a lot. Especially, the last interview, right before we had our Budoukan live. The speed at which I opened up was amazing. Looking I was like, âAh, I said that,â but it sounds like it wasnât me. I was really enthusiastic (smiles).
 You certainly talked about love enthusiastically.
 Maya: The reason I reread is not to make sure past and present donât conflict, I think itâs ok for them to conflict. You would think, âThat time I thought this way, but I donât know.â Or âNow I think thisâŚâ When you reread, but after I reread, I didnât have those thoughts at all (laughs). I donât think I changed at all. So, if the back numbers are available for purchase, I hope you put them in the footnotes (laughs). These days, new people are getting to know us, so back numbers would a good text book for them. People from other bands understand what I mean, there are things we only tell this magazine. Anyway, last time I spoke enthusiastically.
 Stop that, please speak enthusiastically this time too (laughs). First of all, in 2012 you had your first live at Budoukan as the finale of your 5th anniversary tour, on January 8th. After that did your feelings change?
 Maya: ChangeâŚ? Itâs true, that at the time, I was aiming or Budoukan, but once I was there, I realized it wasnât important. It was flatter than I expected. I knew the live itself would pass in a flash, but the road to Budoukan was the important part of the story. So, the feeling hadnât changed that much. Well, it was our first time at Budoukan, so for part of my performance I was a bit stiff (nervous), I saw it when I watched the video.
 The first half, I felt you were nervous.
 Maya: Ha, you got me. I was like that at our first time at Shibuya Kokaidou. At Budoukan, my mind was calm, but Iâm like that at new venues. That day I wasnât that impressed, but now that some time has passed, what I think simply is: performing at Budoukan and what I had to do to get there completed me. That time, I felt like the live went smoothly. Iâm not saying I was burnt out, but Budoukan ended a chapter in our story.
 The story from LM.Câs creation to Budoukan is one chapter?
 Maya: Yeah, but itâs a well-made story. When I was rereading the interviews up until now, I realized, I like LM.C after all. Does that seem weird? (laughs)
 (Laughs) Youâre being one of LM.Câs fans.
 Maya: Yes, completely (laughs). Our 5th anniversary at Budoukan ended, but itâs not like the after a festival*(this is an expression that means to feel lonely in Japanese). But I wasnât lonely, I was calm. Itâs not that I was lonely but in daily life thereâs a moment when the songs and memories weâve made up until now come to my mind. After that we released singles and albums and went on a tour overseas and domestically for 6 months. Meanwhile, I was vaguely thinking about LM.C. In a previous article I read, I said: âLM.C isnât just a band anymore; itâs not just our ensemble anymore; itâs more of a universe.â When I thought it over, I was convinced.
 Like your saying good things?
 Maya: Yes. I was talking about the earthquake (Touhoku quake) on March 11th, last year (2011). I said that: âEven with the disaster I want LM.C to stay LM.C; I want Maya to stay Maya.â Thatâs a very Maya thing to say. I think that guy is cool. (Laughs) As Iâm reading this article I see as Maya of LM.Câs article. I saw that interview like an outsider, the person here is just one of his fans.
 SoâŚa representative of fans, then speak.
 Maya: WellâŚmy view of Maya switches from moment to moment. During a live the view of the fan is, âIf Maya performs this way, it would be cool.â Or sometimes I donât think way at all, Iâm just Maya. Thatâs how I switch, but today Iâm completely cheering as a fan (Laughs). In the 5 years that Iâve been doing this, I was able to put my thoughts into words, and I could also put them into my music. I genuinely think our band is cool and there have been a lot of times when I was rescued by LM.C.
 For example, have you been encouraged by your own lyrics?
 Maya: Yes, I have. Depending on the time, different lyrics encourage me. Sometimes, Iâm encouraged by one phrase of lyrics, other times itâs by a memory of a live. So, various things.
 Have you ever had a regret about a live or music? For example, when you do a live at a huge venue like Budoukan, do you ever think âI should have done that this wayâŚâ
 Maya: In terms of that, Iâve never had regrets (laughs). Thatâs just my nature. For example, at a live Iâve thought, âThe song order should have been this wayâŚâ But I donât necessarily regret it, and after all of that I use this experience for the future. Thereâs only happiness, no regret.
 Is that different from the idea that once something is over regret doesnât help?
 Maya: After all, because we have futures, you can connect to it. This is just my impression, but maybe regretful people, stay regretful. Almost no one thinks about how they can make use of a mistake in the future. People vaguely regret, and in the future when they try something they fear pointlessly. Thatâs the image I have. This isnât limited only to musicians. Regret becomes a fear that doesnât exist.
 Maya: Yes. Itâs just experience, thatâs all. Of course, itâs better to not have an experience you donât want, but if you happen to have a mistake or problem you may want to think, âIf this is the case next time Iâll want to do it this way so itâs more fun.â
  At Budoukan you started to sing âThe LOVE SONGâ acapella, and you made mistakes in the first verse, and how about those mistakes?
 Maya: Ah, I did (laughs). That day, on the second song, I dropped the microphone loudly, âOh my god, Iâm so embarrassed.â I that thought at first, but if I had thought about it too much, the third song wouldnât be fun.  And besides, the audience doesnât care about my mistakes as much as I do. As for âThe Love Songâ, I got an idea at the beginning of the song. Â
 You suddenly started singing acapella. Iâve heard that even Aiji didnât know you were going to adlib.
 Maya: No one knew, not even myself. During the MC before that song, I got the idea (laughs). Because of the cheering and applause, I couldnât hear the count (for the verse), so I went into the wrong measure. I was like âWhat?â
 So, thatâs what happened. You certainly didnât look like you panicked.
 Maya: I didnât panic about that. By the time, I sung that song, Iâd completely gotten used to Budoukan (laughs). Looking back now, I realize I donât have to suddenly start singing acapella.
 Besides, it was your first Budoukan.
 Maya: Itâs crazy, when I think about it (laughs). Throughout our first time at that venue, we gradually got used to that atmosphere, rolling that is the LM.C way.
 Indeed. Earlier we talked about this, this year you went around to different countries on tour, South America, Europe, and Asia. Yesterday I also reread your blog, before you go on an overseas tour, you always return home. Is that to see your familyâs faces before you depart?
 Is it the kind of feeling that a pilot or stewardess might have before their flight?
 Maya: I donât go back home because something bad might happen. More simply, I just want to meet my family. Well, perhaps Iâm thinking that way, unconsciously.
 Do you mean if something happens in an unknown country, youâll never see each other again?
 Maya: Right. In that sense, Iâve been thinking that way. I donât know what happens where.
 That said, youâre not prone to worrying. Thatâs an interesting point.
 Maya: Itâs different from worry. If Iâm thinking that way I wonât have fun. However, my parents are also getting older, and anything could happen at any time; Iâm prepared for that. I always meet them that way. Actually, theyâre pleased every time I meet them. So, I want to go as much as I can. I want to meet my parents, siblings, and others as much as possible.
 Your blog, features your feelings towards LM.C, that includes your fans, and your love for your family and Nagano.
 Maya: Thatâs right. So, itâs normal to think about family that way.
 No, there are many families that are not close due to various circumstances. Right?
 Maya: True. Peopleâs relationship with their parents can vary, but in my family, weâre close. Weâre a rare family type. A long time ago, I thought the way our family is, was normal. I think Iâm lucky, so Iâm grateful.
 So, your family comes every time you have a live in Tokyo. Your whole family.
 Maya: They come. Well, everyone will die someday.
 Earlier you used the world âPrepared.â
 Maya: Well, when I became an adult, I started thinking that way. Itâs different from (the idea) we need to meet because weâre going to be separated. But vaguely we just knowâŚbetween last year and this year my grandfather and grandmother both passed away. Around New Yearâs, during the Budoukan rehearsal was when my grandmother who cherished me the most passed away.
 Maya: I only mentioned to the people close to me. I kept going back and forth between Budoukan and Nagano, I didnât even tell the Live Members. If I told them everyone would worry about me. So, for a while I didnât tell them.
 Back and forth between Nagano and Tokyo.
 Maya: Thatâs right. Looking back farther, just before we started LM.C, in July of 2006 my dog died. (LM.Câs name comes from that dog.) âwww.lovely-mocochang.comâ My lovely dog, Moco, is this URL. Since then, the switch of my life changed.
 So, that was when you first experience a close death?
Maya: Thatâs right. I hadnât lost any close relatives since then. That (referring to Mocoâs death) was big. Although, she was just a pet.
 Not just a pet. How old was Moco at the time?
 Maya: She was almost 9. She died from illness. After watching her from birth to death, I wondered âWhat is it to live?â It was a very busy time, but I spoke to the director and he told me, kindly, âGo home.â So, I went back to Nagano, and the whole thing about Mocoâs death shocked me so much, and made me regret. I should have experienced death at an earlier age.
 Why did you think that?
 Maya: It wasnât only the sadness, it was, âI was hoping to go through this earlier.â It was too much. On top of that, weâd already decided to go with the name: LM.C (Lovely Moco-chang), which included her name, and we were working on so many things for our debut in October. So, it was like fate to me.
 So LM.C was born and at the same time Moco passed away.
 Maya: Right. That was a shock. My mother especially, really cherished Moco. So, when I saw her sad, I felt a lot complex things. Then we debuted, and I was talking about my dog a lot in interviews. But I couldnât tell them she actually wasnât in this world anymore. It wasnât that I didnât want to say it, it just never occurred to me to mention it. Only a few people knew about it. After exactly 5 years, last July during my birthday live, was when I finally told my fans that sheâd passed. With those things and the things happening these days, Iâve been reminded that someday everyone will die.
 So, when your grandmother passed away during the Budoukan rehearsal, it was also fate. Perhaps, your Grandmother would have come to your live?
 Maya: Right, at the time she was already in a bad condition, so I felt she probably wouldnât be able to make it, but when Budoukan was planned, she said, âI want to go.â Even in her generation, Budoukan and NHK are well known. So, when I was on one of NHKâs program, I told her. So, after those experiences I just have be happy.
 âIn life, you donât have time to do extra things. So, you donât have time to be sad or look back.â So, your philosophy on happiness, was shaped by your experiences.
 Maya: Yes, thatâs right. So, usually your parents pass on before you. Basically, I always think about it. Iâm really prepared.
 Your parents are fine right now, yes?
 Maya: Theyâre fine. But I have to be prepared, otherwise, I wouldnât be able to move forward.
 Unconsciously, youâre preparing for that time. So, thatâs why you go home a lot.
 Maya: Thatâs why I naturally go home. But, I donât feel obligated, Iâm not going (home) to be a good son. To me, if Iâm happy living, thatâs the best way to be a good son, I think.
 To parents thatâs true. Being well is best.
 Maya: Even if youâre not happy, at least your living, isnât that good enough? Thatâs what I think. I donât want to push myself too hard to do something for them.
 So, before you went on a world tour, your family said âTake care and come back safe,â When they saw you off?
 Maya: Yes. Weâre always in touch. Whether Iâm on tour overseas or in Japan, my mother sends me meaningless emails (laughs). When I donât reply, she gets upset and says, âYou donât respond to my emails but you update your blog.â (Laughs). So, I say, âOh Iâm sorry.â I receive emails that I donât know how to respond to. So, I just reply, âOkay.â
 (Laughs) What kind of content in the mail confuses you?
 Maya: Itâs like, âToday this happened. Nagano was cold.â (Laughs) So, I say, âOk.â (Laughs).
 Youâre momâs cute. I think she emails you to know if youâre ok.
 Maya: Right. Well going back to the earlier topic, my parents lost their parents, right? I wonder how they would have felt. Their parents did not die from disease or accident or under the average lifespan, so I think they felt calm. Because of their age, I think they are going to think about the end of their lives. In that sense, because Iâm also getting older, Iâve been thinking how we can live happily together.
 Maya: By the way, Iâm called âMaa-tan.â (Laughs) Originally, My Grandma called me âMaa-tanâ when I was little. My family started copying that, and it stuck. In Nagano when we eat together or walk in the street, they call me in a loud voice, âMaa-tan!â Thatâd make me speechless. As months and years pass, and my parents get older, perhaps calling their son âMaa-tan,â will be cute. At my age, itâs the most sensitive time to be called a nick-name (laughs). Recently, âI want to keep coming to Maa-tanâs lives,â has been coming in my email. âOk, well, Iâll keep doing lives.â I thought.
 Have they come to your world tour?
 Maya: They always say they want to go overseas. This they also wanted to come to France.
Thatâs good, right? They can also see âMaa-tanâsâ live, they can go sightseeing too.
 Maya: Right. Iâm happy. At the same time, Iâm prepared for the sad things.
 Because theyâre important you, you think that way. Youâre afraid of losing them.
 Maya: So, when it comes to that, Iâd feel that way for my parents and others. I donât like it, everyoneâs getting older (laughs). Just 3 days ago, I was thinking about what if Aiji died. Just to myself (laughs).
 Youâre thinking, if your senpai died, youâd be alone?
 Maya: Thatâs not it exactly, but I was thinking about what kind of feelings Iâd have, and that I should prepare. Itâs not that that preparation is serious, but how can I best communicate with him now. When I entered middle (junior high) school, my homeroom teacher had a story, that still stays with me.  Long ago, that teacher bumped into his student in front of a convenience store. Because the student was a delinquent who did not come to school, the teacher yelled, âWhat are you doing?â He let out his pent-up feelings to the student. That day they went (to their own) home. So, that student that night, or the following morning that student had an accident on his bike and never came back (he died). Because of that experience, he was telling us to treat people like itâs the last time weâll see them. I was around 13 then, and Iâm finally starting to understand those words more. So, thatâs what I think preparation means. It doesnât mean that you have to hug all the time when you say goodbye, but that it always feels that way.
 The lives are also like that. Each live is Ichigo Ichie* (is an expression that means âTreasure every meeting, because it will never occur again.â), you never know when youâll meet again.
 Maya: Yes, I think thatâs true.
 So, before you were saying, whatever you do in your life in your life is happiness. Thatâs why you came to this conclusion.
 Maya: Well, various things happened, so thatâs why Iâm saying thatâs the answer. Happy words are easy to say (laughs), but I want to keep my happiness.
 I see. How do you think about your death? Do you feel like youâll make people around you sad? Or, do you have a fear of death?
 Maya: I think my death affects me the least. In terms of anyone whoâs living and hasnât experienced death, that will be very frightening experience for them. Because death is an unknown, I cannot put the fear into words. But, if you die you have nothing. In the end, death is something that affects other people. Whether itâs by sickness or accident, the person who dies is gone and feels nothing. That personâs death only exists in other people. If they were ill, people think âTheyâre in pain,â or âTheyâre suffering.â Even if they die peacefully, people still long for them. Naturally, the would have lovely feelings. So, I think in some way my death isnât my business. For that reason, Iâm living the way I want to. Thatâs the image I want to leave behind.
 So, you donât believe those whoâve died have regrets, or that theyâre watching over you? Or that the body dies but the soul remains.
 Maya: I donât. Iâm not religious. So, religion is mostly born from peopleâs fear of death. Religion is well thought out. I think about the people around me. Itâs none of my business (laughs). Before I sleep, I imagine âWhat if that person diedâŚâ I have to be prepared, otherwise I wouldnât be able to to get through it.
 From your public image, I canât imagine you thinking about those things. Maybe your fans already know your thoughts, but itâs surprising. You think about death deep, but you still talk about the universe and happiness, thatâs profound.
 Maya: Is it profound? (Laughs) The other day during the live events in Osaka, I was speaking during the set change, and seeing ourselves from a distance I realized LM.C has that kind of image. I donât know how to put it, like we have fluffy thoughts (laughs). They (the audience) were like, âHereâs two strange guys!â I think thatâs ok. I have that feeling, like I said, but they can know my true feelings eventually or they donât have to know. When they read this interview, some will think, âThis is what Maya is like.â And thatâs fine with me. Weâre not a band thatâs just happy and wants to deliver a positive message with those feelings within it. Naturally, some people will get a chance to know us, and others wonât. For that reason, itâs more interesting.
 Speaking of Life and Death, on this tour your longtime friend had a baby, right?
 Maya: Ah, my elementary school classmate.
 In our last interview, you made the shocking statement that you wanted to have a child (laughs).
 Maya: Isnât that a natural thing?
 No, no. Because youâre âMaa-tanâ thatâs why itâs shocking.
 Maya: Well, maybe for my parents itâs shocking. They want to see Maa-tanâs child (laughs). Conversely, I want them to live long enough to see my child. Itâs like my duty. They really want to see a child.
 Did they actually say they want to see their grandchildâs face?
 Maya: They actually said that. I have an older brother, and he says heâs getting married, but that hasnât happened yet. Iâm hoping he does soon (laughs). Then, my parents would start a different life.
 With that in mind, 2012 was a year where you experienced a lot, and though a lot, yes?
 Maya: Thatâs right. In these 5 years, Iâve felt many things, learning and applying what Iâve learned over and over.  Perhaps there was no time to take in the things I received. I feel like, this year, Iâve been organizing the experiences Iâve had up âtil now. Also, last time I talked about how I felt we would be going somewhere unknown in our 6th year, but now, I really feel like we are. All the same, 5 years is easy to look back on. Itâs good that we could close out that phase (referring to Budoukan). Now weâre thinking about the next 5 years. Itâs like life, one day the end will come to our band.
 So, before you go to sleep you think about that, the end of the band?
 Maya: I havenât recently, but I was thinking about it several years ago. A while back we had our Tour Finale at the large hall in Nagano, where we used to go often. While I was MCing I blurted out, âIf we ever have a breakup live, this where I want to have it.â The fans were taken back (laughs).
 Maya: I have a responsibility as the one who said that, I didnât mean it that way. Thatâs the point, where I have to spend more time explaining. That lead to the things I said about everyone dying. Not everyone may be able to take that positively, but if keep sending the message (that the end is a bad thing) and the words pile up, then something will change. âI want to have our breakup live in our home town.â Just saying the result of my thoughts can convey everything.
 If you say it that way, they might think your breakup is close.
 Maya: They would worry. So, I thought it didnât convey that, yet, thatâs why itâs a challenge. To exaggerate what I said, I want to die at that venue in my hometown, that was my pure feeling.
 You say whatever your thinking.
 Maya: I do (laughs). But what I say and what I do will be my experience. I donât want to make my experiences useless. These 5 years werenât. I was reflecting more this year.
 Right. But listening to your new song, âDouble Dragon,â it has a certain energy, after 6 years I think youâre back to a more aggressive sound.
 In LM.Câs first song, âRock the LM.C,â you sang, âWe choose the way, but not the means.â Right? I wonder what your strategy for 2013 is.
 Maya: Ah, âDouble Dragonâ comes coupled with a new arrangement of âRock the LM.C.â The lyrics changed a little, we made as the 2012 version. After I sang the old lyrics again, I felt strange. If it was now I wouldnât write this way.
 âYesterdayâs mistakes, donât matter. Tomorrowâs concerns, donât matter at all.â Those lyrics have energy to blow off.
 Maya: I want to meet myself from that time.
 (Laughs) I donât think youâve changed much.
 Maya: Havenât I? We havenât done anything new for the tune of âDouble Dragon.â The expression of the words looks different, but and the subject of the song, and style of the song have not changed. With LM.Câs history up âtil now, I believe what weâre doing is good. The style and feelings of âRock the LM.Câ is included in âDouble Dragon.â  In terms that, I feel like I met the old me in that song. Iâm hoping that this article, will I the be me I want to meet next year, and the year after that. I donât know what todayâs message is. Maybe I like myself too much (laughs).
 No, no, I think itâs good!
 Maya: Oh, by the way, recently Iâve started getting interested in singing.
 What? You havenât been interested until now?
 Maya: To be honest, I havenât been (laughs). In the middle of last year, I became interested. I gradually became interested, until then, I was uncomfortable with me, the singer. I had an excuse in saying that I was originally a guitarist, but now itâs not that period anymore. Simply, Iâve become interested in singing. This is changing.
 So, do you have more desire to sing a specific way?
 Maya: Yeah. I have a goal for singing, itâs like: Finally! (laughs)
 Finally, were you waiting? (laughs)
 Maya: No, I wasnât waiting either. (Laughs)
 Before, you were saying you wanted to have 5 yearsâ experience. You piled up various things, so you have self-confidence.
 Maya: Maybe thatâs right. I think a lot about singing, so maybe Iâve gained some room. I didnât think this day would come (laughs). But at last (reminiscing). Itâs good that I changed without anyone saying anything. No one gave me advice saying, âItâs better to do it this wayâŚâ I had the chance to think by myself. I thought it would simply be fun for myself and the audience if I became more skilled at singing. Oh, am I talking too much?
 Maya: I started thinking about that at a live. At some point, I thought, if the people who donât have sight (the blind) come to our live, what would we do? That was also one of the triggers. If thatâs the case, then Iâd need to sing better. At that time, the older the lyrics were, the more likely I was to forget at the live. But, the people in the audience, may think I wanted to hear that line, I would think that way as well. Thatâs what I was thinking about.
 In your 6th year, a lot happened? With all that, as LM.C, and as the vocalist, Maya, is it like your new phase has started?
 Maya: I guess so. At the previous tour in France, someone came using a white cane (for the blind). After the live that day, I heard about this (the blind person), from the PA person. I thought, âThis can happen.â So, we talked about that person, "Even if he canât see, maybe something resonated with him in our music." I hope those good feelings reach people. So, in conclusion, itâs the live. I want to keep singing for my life (with all my effort). Surely, I, myself, will probably be saved by LM.C and spend my life with it. The more I do the more I think that way. When I started the band, I didnât imagine thinking that way. That includes my interest in singing.
 Maya: I said I didnât have anything to talk about anymore, but Iâve gone on longer. I canât stop talking. (laughs)
