#llla

Hey, guys!! Left the house for the first time in over a month on Tuesday and...I felt amazing? A LOT of you have been here since I actually started using Tumblr and I couldn't be more grateful to those of you that have been here from the start and also everyone that's still here despite my absence this past year. I cry constantly because I still get some amazing messages from you guys checking in on me and know you care means the entire world to me. For those of you have have been here for at least the past three years, you know what it was like for me when I began gaining weight like crazy and you know before that I wore NOTHING but tight clothes to show off my figure and my confidence was actually anchored in my 36" 30" 36" body measurements. But, even when I was that tiny I was self-conscious about my stomach. It was flat, but when I would sit and hunch even a little but I'd have a little "pooch" that would show and I hated it. I prided myself in my flat stomach that I didn't even have to work to get or keep because no one around me had that. So, when I gained wait...honestly it killed me inside, because with my stomach, where the "pooch" would show up when I was thin...was the most prominent area on my front torso to gain weight. And now when I look down, even having lost about 40+ pounds in the past 6 or 7 months (which this past June I was nearly 230 pounds) I can't see at least the top half of my legs when I look down. To celebrate losing all of that weight and the actual dip in my waist returning, I bought myself two shapers from Shapermint, a shapers panty and a shaper short and when they got here I tried them on and broke down because I looked down and I could see the entirety of my legs. For the first time in about 3 years: That stomach wasn't there.

This is my first time wearing shape hugging clothing in so long that didn't flare out around the mid/lower waist area to hide my stomach "pooch". I wore this dress out on Tuesday (it's the "Jacklyn Off Shoulder Dress" from Fashion Nova in the shade 'Oatmeal' and I'm literally buying three more colors) and I felt beautiful. I felt sexy. I felt like myself. Hell, I even have a pair of high waist jeans that look amazing on me and actually fit comfortably and I've purchased crop some crop tops as well. I can't wait to hopefully continue to make progress on becoming myself again and I'm going to be getting an all new hairstyle for the first time in LITERALLY a decade (I was 13 when I first got my current hairstyle). As cliche as it is : New Year. New Me.

Laura Lee Los Angeles "Nudie Patootie'" palette

Dose of Colors Cream Matte Liners in 'Shady' and 'Laid Back'

Land of Lashes in 'Miami'

after hours w| some master folx I get to call friends

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生前、祖父が愛用していたバルナックライカllla。フイルムカメラに熱をあげていた僕の手に渡ってきたのだが、祖父が使用していたであろうフィルムが装填されたままだった。 祖父の最期の写真を綺麗に現像したく、自由が丘の「ポパイカメラ」まで足を運んだ。 一ヶ月後、現像されたネガを受け取ったが、フイルムには何も映っていなかった。 カメラ好きの祖父だったから、亡くなる前、病室までカメラを持ち込んでいたらしい。ところが、撮影する気分にはならなかったのだろう。 祖父のバルナックライカlllaは僕が引き継ぐことになった。 ・・・ テスト撮影した結果、カメラ内部にフイルムの破片が混入していることが発覚。他にも、レンズは手では外せない程に固着していたり、ファインダーは快晴の日でも残念なほどに曇っていた。 オーバーホールはどこへ出したら良いのだろう。祖父の形見だから、大切に扱ってくれるお店へ出したい。 結果…

When I’m lost, I am found.

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祖父が生前使っていた1936年製造のバルナックライカlllからフイルムが出てきた話 #film #leica #barnackleica #写真好きな人と繋がりたい

ライカの機械式フィルムカメラ「M-A」を買ったと父親に報告したら、生前、祖父もカメラが好きで、そのカメラが残っていると話してくれた。 出てきたのは「バルナックライカ」。 カメラ上面に印字されているシリアル番号で調べてみると、バルナックライカの中でも1936年製造のlllaというモデルであるようだ。 カメラの中には祖父が最期に撮影していたフイルムが装填されたままであった。 最期に祖父が残したフイルムはきちんと現像したかったので、現像の評判の良い自由が丘のポパイカメラへ足を運んだ。なんと現像に一ヶ月かかるらしい。丁寧に現像してくれるのであれば全く問題ない。 その間、ぼくもこのバルナックライカで撮影してみることに。ライカ「M-A」に比べて小型だし、祖父には申し訳ないが中古品なので、物理的にも精神的にも取り回しがラクなのがお気に入り。 またM-Aには35mm（ズミクロンM f2/35mm…