#llamagines

Hahah whaaaaaaat you're crazy ahauahuaha I've NEVER thought abt transformers x humans that'd be bonkers I -

I'm obsessed with the idea of human-cybertronian relationships. I specifically love when it's framed as a kind of symbiosis. Some Cybertronians clearly just really like humans and can't help but bond with them; there's just SO many opportunities for relationships, both platonic and otherwise.

Like. Imagine the most annoying Car Guy you know, who fires his engine at 3 in the morning, except his car is a Cybertronian who is just as annoying. The Cybertronian gets pampered and buffed and hand-painted and the human gets to street race around in a vehicle that actually appreciates the efforts. The bot has a new wrap job every week and the human wears jackets to match and they're both absolutely insufferable but they're insufferable together and that's kinda sweet.

Also just..... I really adore the idea of Decepticons initially sneering at the idea of human companionship, but quickly finding they actually quite like these weird little creatures and maybe the Autobots were onto something.

Post-war I can imagine the Constructicons being put on Earth, essentially on community service, doing construction and controlled demolition. Perhaps rebuilding stuff destroyed in battle. They end up forming bonds with the human crew who sometimes work with them; humans who appreciate their unique skills and temperaments. There's something very cute about the Constructicons obsessing over their favourite coworker and hoping their schedules align.

I think Soundwave would end up with a human friend or two. He already has a weakness for small things. I have no proof except my gut instinct and the fact that I'm completely delusional. One minute you're befriending Rumble and Frenzy (easy to do since they're human sized) and the next, Soundwave's trying to coax you into his chest. He has cookies and he's going pspspspsps. It's a tactic that probably would work on me

~~~

Horror forgot. Oh fuck, oh shit, oh stars. He forgot. Dust gently reminds him the morning of and Horror sits there for a moment, Soul pounding. He forgot. How could he possibly forget? He rushes to the kitchen in a blind panic to make you something. That's all he can think to do. ... In the kitchen, he finds... chocolates. For you. Hand-decorated, in a familiar shaky style. And then he remembers; he didn't forget. He made these days in advance - because he knew he'd forget. He always does. But for you, he planned ahead. Horror would want to spend the day indoors, making you food and laying on the couch watching whatever sappy movie you want to put on. He doesn't manage to read aloud the confession he had written, but it's alright. He knows you don't expect him to be a poet.

You honestly aren't expecting anything from Dust. He expresses zero interest in Valentine's all year. But then again, he doesn't express much interest in anything at all. Scratch that - he doesn't express. So you aren't anticipating much. But to your surprise, you do get something from him. On the day, he quietly presents you with a plushie. One that you've had your eye on for a while. It smells like him; wintery pine needles, a touch of smoke. And when you squeeze the plushie... "... love you." Dust struggles to express himself. He knows that. His Soul is stitched up tight and it's taking him a long time to undo what he's done to himself. So he hopes that when his words fail him once again... you'll have something that reminds you he really does care.

Valentine's was made for Killer. He is going all-in. A whole day, a whole human holiday, set aside for being romantic? An excuse to harass you with affection literally all day long? It's perfect. Expect the works; the flowers, the cards, the bears, the food. Everything has red ribbons and hearts all over it. There is no escape. Killer has a lot of feelings. He's all emotion. He always feels like he needs to reel himself in so he doesn't overwhelm you; he appears to be an open book, but most days, the expressions you see are only the ones he believes you can handle. He's clingy and needy and violent and, honestly? Dangerous. But Valentine's day is an excuse for him to, just once, completely let loose and show you everything going on in his Soul. It may be just one emotion. But for him, it's enough.

And making constant trips to the glen all winter to check on him, reading novels out loud while he sleeps or adorns small winter flowers and trinkets onto his horns so when he finally opens his eyes after so long he's covered in signs that he was loved and cherished and cared for even when he didn't know it. Raising his head off of the pillow of dense moss only for flowers to slip off of his horns and rain down his head and feel each one laced with the longing and love of his human. The bog is more lively not only because it's springtime, but because Skull is awake and overjoyed to see MC again

MY HEAAAAAAAART

He's too precious and i don't doubt him, but see my angsty vision:

With him being an insect-like creature, ancient and more primal than not, his understanding of the world and it's secrets is probably different from human comprehension. He understands human language the best he's learned through the years and years of just watching, he might try to understand feelings too but he experiences them somewhat differently... so... To him "girlfriend" means something way stronger than what an actual girlfriend is for humans but what if you question that? What if you insist he's just confusing you with a meal? You insist he doesn't love you, he only wants to play with you as prey or a toy or a pet. And the worst part? Is that by the point you figure he's that old and powerful, you've grown fond of him, way too attached even if he still spooks you sometimes. You've tried very hard to understand how he actually sees you but every time you describe a concept like "girlfriend" or "wife" he seems to agree but he also describes it as "more". He's grown to learn how to tone down his visceral descriptions of absorbing your entire being to become one with him forever so you never leave him... And that first description still hasn't left your mind. Sighhh, thank you for coming to my tedtalk...

AAAAAAAAGH

If you told Rav you're afraid he only views you as a toy, I don't think he'd be all that surprised. But I do think he'd be a little heartbroken. He tries so hard for you - working to express himself in ways you can understand, mimicking behaviours he hopes will get his affection across. The fact that it isn't enough... it stings. He really really wanted you to see him.

He understands that you'd have doubts about his feelings. It makes sense. He's an eldritch beast that showed up at your door one day and wouldn't leave. Who wouldn't question his motives? Who wouldn't worry that he might hurt you? For him, the line between loving something and consuming it is very thin - perhaps completely nonexistent. How do you know which side of the line he falls on? How do you know he (an insect by nature) even feels love? Who wouldn't fear that, given how long-lived and intelligent he is, this is some elaborate performance, and you're just one in a long line of prey who never got to warn each other because they all got eaten...?

He'll try to explain. Explain that you're special, that he'd never eat you because then he can't make you laugh, that just because he's difficult to understand doesn't mean he's lying. But even so, after that, I don't think you'd ever see his true form again. No more centipede - just Rav. His nature clearly frightens and confuses you. The less he can remind you of what he really is, the better. Does part of him still hope that one day, you'll be able to see the real Rav again? Yes. But not today. Not for a long, long time.

His full name is Ravioli. He didn't have a name before he met you. When you asked, he panicked and said the first human-sounding word he could remember.

No one's quite sure what he is. Something ancient. Something bordering on eldritch. Whatever he is, he seems to have a soft spot for humans, enjoying those who aren't scared of him. And he enjoys you very much.

He lives in that hoodie. He occupies this smaller, humanoid body, to be able to spend time with you. Squashing himself down into such a small form seems to have an effect on him, physically and vocally - he speaks differently, he acts funny. Though how much of his 'silly' is an act and how much is real is anyone's guess.

Very affectionate with you. Perhaps overly so. Delights in calling you his girlfriend, squeezing you in 'hugs' (wrapping his long arms all the way around you) tracing his claws through your hair. His love is very animated. He will show up at your window at midnight and tap on the glass until you let him in.

He can command most insects, and see through their eyes. He also eats them occasionally - free pest control!

He researches human ways of showing affection! There's nothing he loves more than showing his adoration in ways you can understand. He observes couples in public, reads books. He's a fast learner.

His eye colours correspond with his emotions. Green is his baseline, neutral colour. The warmer his eye the happier he is! Orange is happy, red is love. Cyan is upset, blue is Start Running.

His eyes are generally yellowish orange around you. Because you make him happy.

Surprisingly, he's great with kids! Small children who like bugs are some of his favourite creatures of all.

He seems... lonely.

When he can't be with you he gets very quiet, very hard to read. He's resentful of people you seem to like more than him. He's very attached to certain romance movies and watches them over and over at night.

So, yeah, I just finished listening to my silly song par excellence for my silly ship (Tinkerbell's NeverBeast "Strange") and I started to wonder if the Forest Gods could... "hibernate".

I get they don't, apparently? But is there any instance they would find it necessary? Unless they do it by default since the "short nap" of a god could mean a lifetime for a human (and maybe even regular fae idk) in some cases...

Idk I'm sleep deprived- Love your writing, bye~! 🧡

👁️👁️

Well... he exists on a timescale far beyond the comprehension of other beings. To him, it's just a short rest, one where he can lay his head down in a secluded glen and forget everything for a little while. To us, it's two hundred years. Two centuries where the bog is eerily dark and still, but voices and ghostly images appear in the distant fog like reflections in water - his powerful dreams emerging across the landscape. If he really wants to sleep, though, deeply sleep... I wouldn't be surprised if that's thousands of years. That's long, even for the fae. Thousands of years turned Nightmare from a selfish tyrant into a respected and revered king whose 'early days' of cruelty are a distant memory. It would feel like a lifetime.

He probably hasn't slept well in a long while. Too angry, too lonely, too haunted. But... say, perhaps... he met someone special? Someone who made him feel less alone, someone who made him see the brighter side of life again? Someone who made him let go of his rage? He might suddenly find that he feels calm enough to sleep.

He's aware of how long his sleeps last. When he needs to rest, he would keep it brief. Only six months or so. He doesn't want to lose time with you. He doesn't want to lose you.

If you lounged in the bog with your shirt unbuttoned he'd definitely show up. But only to put something over you. Because what are you doing out here with your shirt unbuttoned, there are bugs !!! its damp and it gets so cold at night !!! what were you thinking !!!!! you are making him nervous for your health !!!

Here's some much better ways to romance him that won't give him the fae equivalent of a heart attack.

Offerings. Offerings offerings offerings. He loves getting offerings, it's been a long time since he got any. Leave something on the path in the fog, or just at the border of his territory... style points if you light a small candle in a dish. He's too shy to collect it while you're still there, so wander off for a bit. It'll be gone when you get back (and the candle will be blown out).

As far as what to give him - he'll literally take anything. Meaningless trinkets, fabric scraps, animal bones. Shells, old branches, painted stones. Rice or oats or beans. Anything you like, he's just grateful to be considered.

Flowers are an excellent choice, too. He likes small and bright flowers, and anything with a strong scent. Daisies, honeysuckle, dog roses. He really likes things that can't grow in the wet conditions of the bog, he hasn't seen them in a long time... if you leave dried rosemary and lavender he might tie it to his horns. The pleasant aroma is much nicer than the smell of damp that usually follows him around.

His favourite offering of all? Baked goods. He has a sweet tooth. Lots of very big, very sharp sweet teeth. Something really simple, a bit of bread with honey, a dense fruitcake with butter. Rosehip syrup is an old favourite.

Outside of offerings, appreciate his environment. Admire the bugs, collect reeds. Read up about the newts and frogs. The more you show real interest in his home, the more of it he'll let you see. The more you like the swamp the more he likes you.

He likes watching you draw. If you're sketching something and you hear breathing behind you, don't freak out. He'll be a lot closer than you expect. If you try to draw him he'll get flustered and leave.

Sing or hum or whistle. He loves music. Whistling in the dark is usually a terrible idea because you have no idea what you'll summon - but in his bog, it's fine, because he's the scariest thing you'll summon!

If you can play an instrument, that's a big big winner. He'll be very swooned by music.

All of that being said...

... Just spend time in his bog, honestly. That's the best way to make him like you.

He's grouchy, he's solitary, he holds a grudge over what happened to him. But he's also incredibly lonely. He'll get attached to anyone who willingly spends a lot of time near him.

Talk to him. Tell him about your day. Tell him about everything.

the fae falling in love with a cute little baker honestly makes TOO much sense, you know?? You win Sans over by being friendly and inviting when everyone else shoos him away, letting him have some bread. You win Red over being someone who works with heat, he loves someone who can tame fire. And you win Skull over by... well. You're a baker, take a guess.