#liuson

"No," Dick grumbled, glaring down at him. He was sitting on Nate's thighs, his legs tucked underneath himself as he frowned in playful displeasure.

Nate whined. "Why not?" he asked, walking his fingers up the inseam of Dick's jeans. His nails were painted a pretty purple color at Rachel's request and they looked exceptionally lovely against the dark blue denim.

Dick grabbed his hand to stop it's wandering. His palm was warm around Nate’s cold fingers. "It's 3pm." 

"Time isn't real. It's a man made construct," Nate countered, tangling their fingers together. He didn't even really care all that much about having sex anymore, he just liked to argue.

"That doesn't mean we don't have to follow it," Dick said, rolling his eyes. 

"So what? We can only have sex after 8pm? We're not straight people, Richard."

Dick laughed, face lighting up in surprise and Nate's heart sang.

"No, we’re not, but like, calm down. Wait a bit. You're like a rabbit," he said, kissing Nate's forehead. Nate smiled and pulled him into a kiss with a hand on the back of his neck.

"I have a pair of bunny ears, if you're into the kind of thing," he joked against his mouth, just to hear him laugh again. 

Dick tried to keep the kiss calm and sweet but Nate didn't really have the patience for that. He slid his tongue between Dick's teeth, pulling him closer by his hair. Dick, for all of his protesting before, didn't seem too upset about it.

-

Nate had just gotten Dick's shirt off, throwing it to the floor, when his bedroom door opened.

He let out a loud annoyed groan at being interrupted. He couldn't handle any more robbers or people who wanted to beat him up. He really needed to invest in a better lock

He looked over Dick's shoulder and groaned again when he saw his father standing there. He was wearing a god awful trench-coat that was the color of olives and an unimpressed look. He looked older then when Nate had seen him last, around ten months ago over a Skype call. His hair was more gray than black and there were more wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. 

What was he even doing here?

Nate pushed Dick out of his lap causing him to grunt in surprise. "Hi Dad," he said, forcing a smile. It probably looked as fake as it felt.

"I guess I know why you weren't answering my text messages," Nate's father said with a hint of a smile. Dick went pink in the face and grabbed his shirt from the ground, pulling it back on.

Nate shrugged. He'd been ignoring his father's texts for months for a variety of reasons. He'd seen the texts about him visiting that morning but assumed it meant some time in the near future, not that day.

Nate's father cleared his throat, looking between him and Dick with a raised eyebrow. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

Nate made a noise of annoyance in the back of his throat. He didn't want to introduce them. He wanted them to stay so far away from each other that they didn't know the other existed.

"Dick, this is my father. Dad, this is my boyfriend, Dick," he said, gesturing between them with his hand.

Dick smiled, charming but nervous and Nate’s heart turned into liquid despite his growing anger.

"Uh, nice to meet you sir," he said, reaching out to shake his hand. Nate's dad took it, looking less than enthusiastic. When they dropped hands, he looked Dick up and down, taking in his muscle and his messed up hair.

"I don't like him," he said in Mandarin, sending Nate a disapproving look.

Nate rolled his eyes. "I didn't think you would," he replied in English, just to piss him off.

"You could have at least told me you were seeing someone, Minjun," he said, once again in Mandarin.

Nate let out a humorless laugh. There was something dark and sad crawling inside his chest. He felt twitchy and ready to snap, like a caged animal. "Yeah, but then you would have gotten mad at me," he all but growled.

"Why would I be mad at you for dating someone?" his father asked, looking genuinely puzzled. Nate watched the realization hit him and he was given a look so pitying that it made rage dance under his skin. He wanted to bite someone.

"Minjun, I'm not your mother. I'm not going to hurt you or be mad at you for every little thing. You're an adult who's free to make his own decisions," he said. Then he quickly added, "Within reason." Nate scoffed. Of course he decided to switch back to English to say that. 

Nate rolled his eyes but didn't argue. Dick sent him a confused looked, mouth twisted down in a frown.

"Is there anything you needed?" Nate asked, trying not to curl his fists at his sides. Or did he just come over to ruin Nate's day and unearth his trauma for no reason?

His dad shook his head. "No, not right now. But we'll make dinner together tomorrow and talk. I'll call you."

"Okay," Nate replied briskly.

Nate watched him go, seething silently. Dick watched him, eyes locked on the clench of his jaw.

"What just happened?" he asked, voice flooded with concern.

Nate didn’t want to talk about it. "That was my dad," he said vaguely.

Dick rolled his eyes, but there was no heat behind it. "I gathered that, yeah. What was he saying? That stuff about your mom.. And what was he calling you?"

"Minjun. It's my name. My other name. And I don't want to talk about it. Not right now," Nate explained. He still felt caged. He was hit with the urge to break something, like the lamp on his desk.

"Okay. Fine with me," Dick said with a nod and a small smile. Then he asked, "Can I give you a hug?"

Nate laughed despite his rage. "Why are you asking? Freak."

Dick made an annoyed noise. "Because you're all tense. I don't want to touch you if it don't want to be touched."

"You're so soft. It's disgusting,” Nate said, sending him a smile. “Give me a stupid hug."

Dick wrapped his arms around his Nate’s waist, pulling him close. Nate buried his face in his neck, sighing. This was the one place he felt truly comfortable, wrapped in Dick’s strong arms.

-

It wasn’t until much later that Nate brought up his family again. They were lying in his bed, with Nate turned away from Dick, looking out of his window. The moon was full and bright, and he locked his stare onto it to give himself something to focus on as he told Dick his story.

"My mom is shitty,” Nate explained, unprompted. He knew Dick wouldn’t have brought it up again because he said he didn’t want to talk about it, but he needed to get it off his chest. it had been eating at him all day, like a parasite in his stomach. “She used to hit me and burn me with her cigarettes and she hated me. She's the reason I have the scar on my back." 

Dick ran his fingers over it, the raised pink skin that interrupted the smooth expanse of his back. It was a line that was just off center and it would have been perfectly straight if not for the jagged curve at the end.

"What happened?" Dick asked, voice soft. Something cracked in Nate’s chest, but he ignored it.

Nate cleared his throat as the vivid memories hit him. He just had to focus on the moon and ignore the phantom pains. Ignore the feeling of blood trickling down his back and the blade under his skin.

"She, uh, got mad at me for something. I don't remember what, but she pinned me to the kitchen floor and tried to kill me. Said she was gonna rip my heart out from the back so I didn't have to see it,” he said. He remembered the sweetness in her voice as she said. He’d never heard it before that moment and he didn’t like it all. ”She would've gotten farther than she did if my dad hadn't come home from work early. That's why it's crooked at the bottom. Because he yanked her away from me from the side."

Dick mumbled, "Jesus Christ," which made him laugh.

"After that he shipped me out here to the States to live with my uncle when I was like sixteen. To get me away from her and so he didn't have to deal with all my bullshit and trauma. It's why he was trying to be nice earlier. He feels guilty."

Dick kissed his shoulder, wrapping his arm around his waist. "That's so terrible. I'm sorry you had to live through that."

Nate shrugged. "Well, there's nothing we can do about it now. It doesn't really matter."

"Of course it matters," Dick argued. "That's something that you have to carry with you every day." 

Nate turned around to face him and Dick saw something on his face that made him kiss him, gentle and slow.

“Don’t get all soft on me,” Nate grumbled. “I’m not broken or something. I’m just traumatized and that’s my burden to live with.”

Dick’s eyebrows wrinkled as he thought of how to reply. Nate smoothed the lines out with his pointer finger.

“I love you,” he settled on. “I know we’re both weird about saying it cause we’re our own kinds of emotionally fucked up, but I do. Not just cause you told me about your family or cause you’re a good kisser. And I want you to know that someone loves you unconditionally.”

Nate’s face twisted as his eyes filled with tears. He huffed in anger and embarrassment at his body’s reaction. He wasn’t going to cry over this.

He buried his face in Dick’s chest as he tried to collect himself. “I hate you. You gross me out,” he croaked out.

Dick laughed, Nate feeling it from where his face was pressed against his bare skin. Dick ran his fingers through his hair making him sigh.

“Love you too,” he finally replied as he felt himself starting to drift into sleep.

He found Dick in an alley with some guy pinned to the wall. He was in full Robin regalia, looming over the criminal. His hand was gripping the guy's throat as he interrogated him and Nate almost pouted at the sight. He wanted that. Wanted Dick's hand wrapped around his neck, cutting off his air supply. Wanted his fingertips to leave bruises.

He walked closer, pulling his knife out of the sheath strapped to his thigh.

The criminal noticed him before Dick did. "Hey buddy! Help me out here. This psycho won't let me go!"

Nate snorted. "I'm not here for you."

"N- What are you doing here?" Dick asked. Nate sighed when he didn't say his name. He wanted to hear the syllables fall from his lips over and over.

"You've been ignoring me," Nate said in explanation. Dick made an annoyed noise in the back of his throat.

"You need to leave," Dick said. "It's not safe for you here."

Nate shrugged, leaning against the wall. He would leave once he got what he wanted.

"I'm serious," Dick warned, using his cop voice that he knew made Nate weak in the knees. Fucker. Nate ignored him, determined to stand his ground.

He turned back to the criminal who was squirming in Dick's hold. He was middle aged, bald and absolutely covered in ugly tattoos. There was a clown on his shoulder that was staring Nate in the eyes.

Without warning, as if by divine intervention, the guy realized his arms were free and he shoved Dick to the ground with all of his strength.

Nate's body seized as he watched Dick fall, smacking his head into the concrete.

Mind going blank with nothing but rage, he pounced on the man. The lion getting the gazelle.

He was practically snarling when the guy made eye contact with him. "Don't touch him." What made him think he was worthy of that?

"What are you, his guard dog?" the guy cried, spit flying onto Nate's face.

Too pissed to really think he shoved his knife into the asshole's shoulder, smiling when he screamed.

"Leave him alone Nate. It's not worth it," Dick called, sitting up. Nate watched him rub the back of his head, groaning, and shoved the knife in further. He wondered if he could get it to come out the other side.

Through laboured breaths and a groan the guy croaked out, "Yeah, back off. Down boy."

Nate let Dick pull him away by his waist, reveling in the fingers digging into his skin. He yanked his knife from the guy's shoulder and glared as he pushed himself to his feet.

Apparently he didn't know when to leave well enough alone because he used his free arm to punch Dick directly in the face. He stumbled back and Nate watched blood trickle from his nose.

The guy started to run down the alley and Nate chased after him. He was pretty fast but Nate was faster.

Nate crouched down and sliced the back of his knee just like he'd practiced. He was so happy he was wearing shorts.

He fell with a scream and Nate rolled his eyes. Drama queen.

Nate kicked him until he rolled over, still screaming, and stared down at him, deciding what to do next. It would've been overkill to cut his clown tattoo but it also would've been fun.

"Yo, Robin, what did he do?" he asked, turning back to Dick who was watching. There was something indescribable in his eyes. It made pride flare up in Nate's chest.

"Child abuse," Dick said, voice hard. He'd made Nate's decision for him then.

Nate grabbed the guy by his shirt to pull him onto his feet.

He shoved him against the wall and ignored his apologies and pleas. Begging for your life was so pathetic.

"Any last words?" Nate asked. It seemed like the polite thing to say.

The guy opened his mouth and Nate sliced his throat before he could get any words out.

Blood dripped onto his hands, warm and sticky, like syrup that'd been sitting in the sun. Nate watched it pour from the cut like a waterfall. It was more gruesome in the movies. Anticlimactic at best.

Dick's hands on his shoulders pulled him out of his thoughts.

"C'mon, let's get out of here," he said. His voice was soft, soothing like it was when he was talking to one of the kids and Nate remembered why he came into the alley in the first place.

"Kiss me," he demanded. Dick sighed.

"No. You need to get cleaned off. You're in shock."

Nate scoffed. He'd be in shock after the adrenaline wore off, when he woke up the next morning. Right now he wanted to be kissed.

"Please kiss me," he said, jutting out his lip. Dick looked at his face, then the guy, then the knife in his hand. Nate wasn't sure which one of those things made him give in but Dick kissed him almost immediately after.

Nate blindly shoved his knife into it's sheath and grabbed Dick's face with his bloody hands. It felt symbolic. The blood didn't belong to either of them but it was theirs.

Dick held his waist, thumbs digging into his hips and Nate melted into his touch.

"Will you take me home?" he asked, pulling away from the kiss. Dick nodded and he grinned.