#litnerdsnet

i. nebulae i placed the metalwork of my mind into your waiting arms. you promised you would take the rusted bronze from too many nights spent out in the rain, under the cold glare of the moon and wax gold until my body is molten hot to the touch and solid gold all over, a statue in one of your temples. you saw potential in my rebirth and who was i to question the intuition of an artist? sea breezes echoed off of your words, an empire begins to rebuild itself from the crushed pillars of ruin it is now ii. protostar your laughter was the soundtrack to my life. i took pictures of everything we did but knew i never needed them, because i would never forget the taste of your lips at 2am on a thursday night as you kissed me against alley walls marked in graffiti, tattooing your name onto my heart, tainting my blood and the inner workings of my veins iii. star our love was a work of art; your breath hot against my neck, as my collarbones realigned themselves to form the compass pointing due north into the night sky, the big Dipper guiding your hands under my shirt and between my legs. i bent myself backwards under the weight of your touch until it was too late, until i didn’t notice the blood pooling on the floor or the fractures in my spine as my bones struggled to keep up iv. supernova when you realized you had been using violet instead of mauve this whole time, you littered me with shades of red and blue. my body was a spotlight on your mistakes, magenta and lilac and lavender and plum mixing together until you couldn’t tell the red from the blue anymore. and you moved onto a blank canvas, one that wasn’t covered in the wrong colors. then on your first try,  you painted a perfect shade of mauve onto her milky clean body v. black hole i refuse to remain ruined, i did not endure this only to wither away into oblivion. the space where my heart used to be, where you used to whisper the secrets of the universe and tell me how all humans are made of the remnants of stardust, is now empty and hollow. i will rip out the stardust you once said was rusted bronze, was useless and worthless and had no chance of being gold, and turn it into a black hole.  if i am broken, i will drag you down with me. stars have no power over me, i will not be another piece in your game as you mix colors onto every waiting body

you see, it’s a party trick: you take a match, strike it, and eat the flame. let the fire burn your lungs as they blacken and fade into ash. let the fire flicker into your veins, devouring from within. let the fire eat away at the cold shell of your heart, burning what was never there in the first place. let the fire consume you, demolish you, until you’re gone and all that’s left is the matchstick or take a match, strike it, and eat the flame. then spit it out, and watch as the room burns around you. laugh as walls melt into the ground, as paintings and people blend into a mess of smoke and ash. laugh as his sly grin turns grey before your eyes, wandering hands put to rest at last. laugh as you feel the heat flare up your spine, until you’re gone and all that’s left is echoes of your laughter

but in the end, it is he who carefully plucks leaves from your branches and weaves them into a stolen crown atop his head. your life merely his accessory, a war prize he will soon tire of. oh daphne, never get too close to a god they will burn you and leave you, gasoline soaked lungs heaving for a spark that will never come