#literallycarl

In May 2015, tumblr user ofdanger (Ariel) and his brother began having problems with two other roleplayers, Astin (@kiidstuff/literallycarl) and Faun (formerly fcrsurvival/deafelliot). The problems began when Ariel and his brother sent suicide baiting asks to Faun. This behavior started because Faun and Astin are two adults who consistently and explicitly write/roleplay (often incestuous) child porn. For understandable reasons, this made Ariel and his brother very uncomfortable. Because they both have very bad impulse control, they sent suicide baiting asks to Faun.

The issue is not about whether or not this behavior was justified, appropriate, or necessary; Ariel has admitted publicly and privately that sending these asks was wrong. The issue is what has since been happening to Ariel since the asks were sent. Ariel knows that suicide baiting is frowned upon, and this is not a consistent behavior of Ariel's or his brother’s. The only people who have received these message from Ariel and his brother are people in the tumblr TWD RP community who actively and explicitly ship/write/support CSA and incest, along with a handful of other non-RP users who ship/write/support the same thing.

It is important to note that I have also been involved in this situation, as a sort of moderator between Ariel, Faun, and Astin, because I don’t feel Ariel (a minor) should have to fight this battle with two adults. It is also important to note that Faun, Astin, and myself are all victims of CSA and child abuse.

When this all started, Ariel and his brother sent the asks. Faun’s first response was to not only involve their friends (Astin and their significant other), but to involve a particular friend who proceeded to stalk Ariel until October 2015. Faun and Astin were also involved in this stalking. Faun’s friend, who will be referred to as AOWH (an acronym based on her username at the time), acquired Ariel's IP address and used it to find out Ariel’s full legal name, as well as his brother’s legal name. Ariel and his brother have not gone by these names online since 2014, way before this happened, so the names were acquired via stalking, not by general knowledge. AOWH sent both names in an anonymous ask. Please keep in mind, Ariel and his brother are both 16 years old. They are minors. All other persons involved, including myself and AOWH, are adults.

This was enough to scare Ariel and his brother into silence. At this point, both of them said nothing else to Faun or Astin for three months. However, three months later, Astin began retweeting a mass amount of tweets from Ariel's twitter, some related to the drama, some not. This sent Ariel into a panic, justifiably, and the drama started up again. Ariel was angry that, to avoid stalking, he left Astin's group alone for months, and they harassed him, regardless.

I began a discussion with both Faun and Astin, and tried to explain what was going on, and why this needed to stop. It appeared that I had gotten through to both of them and we all agreed not to speak to each other again.

This next part probably fits better somewhere else, and it feels a bit like preaching, but it’s important for context and I can’t find anywhere else for it. One big problem with Faun and Astin is that, while they are CSA victims, they are also adults, and therefore, their coping mechanisms of producing and consuming written child pornography is inappropriate (not to mention illegal). It is a firmly held belief, not just by us but by many people, that adults of abuse cannot and should not use coping mechanisms that feature a child being sexually abused.

For example, if a 14-year-old is a victim of CSA and they ship something involving CSA, it’s fine because they are still a child, and therefore they are on the victim’s side of the power imbalance. However, when that 14-year-old becomes an adult, they are no longer on the victim’s side of the power imbalance. Yes, they are still a victim, and that should not be ignored/forgotten, but they are now the adult. They are an adult consuming child pornography. It’s just bad. That’s what Faun and Astin were, and are still, doing.

After everyone decided to block each other, we were all silent until, a short while later, Ariel began receiving disturbing messages on a site called thiscrush, and later on a site called worldoftext. The messages on thiscrush were from an anonymous poster, and the messages contained descriptions of Carl Grimes, a character that Ariel is very attached to and finds identity in, being molested by his father, Rick Grimes, a character that I am very attached to and find identity in. This sent Ariel into a panic. It sent me, a CSA victim, into a panic. Accounts on thiscrush cannot be deleted or terminated, unless by the owners of the site, so all we could do was delete the comments and delete the link from Ariel's blog. However, the messages kept coming, all the same content. I would hope I don’t have to clarify that this is sexual harassment, but in case that is not clear, that was sexual harassment.

I was furious with this and immediately messaged Faun, knowing that someone in their group was involved. Ariel was and is still not on bad terms with anyone but them, to this degree. Faun immediately denied being a part of it, but said it might be AOWH, and they would ask. Then the messages stopped. However, shortly after, on worldoftext, Ariel began receiving comments that said “Never safe” followed by lots of smiley faces. This was after Ariel had mentioned several times on his blog that this entire incident made him feel like he would never feel safe again.

Finally, after no contact with anyone for another month or two, Ariel made a page on their RP blog (you can find it here) that previously only said:

“please don’t follow me if you associate with kiidstuff (prev. corralgrimes) or alphaxgrimes. tldr; they ship grimescest and i would rather not associate with people who associate with them, whether you like grimescest or not.

if i follow you and you’re following them, please unfollow me. i’ll figure it out & i won’t be mad at you or anything.

if you need a detailed explanation please send me a message off anon.”

The page, as you can see, did not bad mouth Faun or Astin to any extent that they haven’t already done themselves. They admit to shipping grimescest (Carl Grimes and Rick Grimes, father and son, in a romantic/sexual relationship), which Ariel stated makes him uncomfortable. Steering clear of that content is not an unreasonable request.

Then, Astin and Faun found the page (likely by means of stalking, which they’ve been doing since this all started) and made two separate callout posts that told lies about Ariel, and painted an incredibly inaccurate picture (not to mention… calling out minors… is that really necessary?). Both posts lied about what Ariel did, and lessened the overall impact of what Faun and Astin themselves did to Ariel.

Without telling Ariel about the posts, I tried to convince Faun and Astin to delete the posts, with no luck. They felt the modest page about them (two adults who write literal child porn) justified posting two separate callout posts about a mentally ill minor.

UPDATE: Since then, those posts have been removed. The first time I posted this callout, Faun messaged me almost immediately and asked that this post be removed. We agreed that I would delete mine if Faun and Astin deleted theirs, and did not engage Ariel any further. They have not since contacted Ariel or myself, but due to certain circumstances, this callout is being posted again for the sake of safety and spreading awareness.

Another important issue in this debate is mental illness. Faun and Astin have wanted to go on and on and on about how ableist we all are for calling them out, when that isn’t the case at all. Faun and Astin have both used the excuse multiple times that they have low empathy, so they don’t care that they’ve given Ariel PTSD from stalking and harassing him. Their low empathy leaves them unable to stop themselves from wanting to “ruin Ariel's life.” However, when Ariel uses the excuse of low empathy and poor impulse control to explain why the suicide baiting asks were sent EIGHT months ago, suddenly that’s not a good enough reason to explain what he did. Astin also claimed we (Ariel, his brother, and myself) are ableist against autistic individuals when we, ourselves, are literally all autistic individuals.

This post is not meant to make people send Astin or Faun hate (Faun deleted their blog, anyway). The goal was to point out that these two adults stalked, harassed, and terrorized a minor until he developed PTSD, and continued to do so for a period of eight months.

Ariel has not contacted them since the initial drama.