#litbotet

And how ridiculous a picture, these two boys in this beautiful hotel room, playing pretend—pretending they weren't each other's doings and undoings, that their souls were not made of the same star stuff, that they were not so completely each other's they could not set themselves apart. That they kept saying I just and I want like they did not already have it, laying there for them, ready, having been ready all this time and before there was a time.

this chapter includes some american sign language usage/discussion, and i hope i pulled it off well enough. i have no idea if people actually use asl for going nonverbal with anxiety (google says some people do, and i imagine it’d be a good enough idea) but i hope it comes off as well-meaning!

(i slept all day because i had a bit of a #bad night last night so)

check the tags for a sneak peek of the title (it’s a shortened version)

i’m considering changing the rating to M just because the next chapter is also pretty heavy on sexual content (but it pretty much drops completely out of the story after that.)  i just don’t think this fic deserves an explicit rating for moral reasons.

idk what i want to work on after litbotet...i could move to other unfinished sp fics but i also have a new idea for a creek fic and i kinda wanna work on it while still in this frame of mind...idkkkkkkmm