#limerick-lt

Did Louis’ first selfie in ages Foretell jokes on SNL’s stages? Picasso? Not fluky. The headphones? That’s Pooty. And loud from New York, that’s what H is.

The formula’s never finessed: Insta moots, dodgy pics, trashy press. The Sun shouts “Exclusive!” Which means it’s conclusive: Strictly business and strictly BS.

In Cali, we’re high at the sight: “An old friend of mine’s here tonight!” With the boys of Bus 1 A healing’s begun— Bitter ends turning sweet feels so right.

England lost, but it’s no time for tears. It came Home when a photo appeared: The backs of two heads Who may share a bed, But have not shared a room in eight years.

Some packages get you a yacht But work with the budget you’ve got: Tag along with the crew, Snap your breakfast for two, And trust that the X marks the spot.

The Malibu rounds had us wincing; There’s nowt that says love like fists clenching. No one’s a believer In knock-off H. Bieber And a snog that made Pool Girl convincing.

The hard launch was duly fulfilled, Now it’s time to Sainsbury’s and chill, With 28 Clothing To ensure exposing True love at the self-checkout till.

In a business that cult-ifies youth, It’s front-page: Lou’s silver-foxed truth. Yes, Petra, he’s gray; We love him that way. Fun fact for the press: he sings, too.