#lilposts

Was just talking to her for awhile. It made me think back the last few conversations we had. I've been behaving extremely well. Walking that thin line between really good friends and something a bit too much. I know it'll confuse the fell out of her especially with her over thinking complex if I thread over that line. So yeah, been playing it nice, safe... Nothing I can think off that might have sent the wrong signals and all. 

But aside from that, it makes me wonder. If I really didn't care any more. If I really started fighting for her, would she react in the way that I think she will? Or will she push me away. So yeah call me conceited, but I highly doubt the latter

Just a small advice to those who had past relationships. Be it good or bad. 

Remember the one who got away, you'll learn to hold on tighter. Remember the one who broke your heart, you'll learn to piece others back together. Remember the one who threw you away, you'll learn to catch yourself. Remember them all, because they teach you how to love the last one

I'm glad I'm alive

I've never had thoughts about suicide. Not because I love myself too much. Actually I think I love myself a bit too little. But at the same time I've never felt glad to be alive. 

I've had pretty good moments. I've been extremely happy, downright contented, even been on the damn cloud 9. But never have I related it to my mortality. But just the other day I felt it. 

When you feel it it's, it's like all the things that you've appreciated or not appreciated made perfect sense. Not because you actually worked out the mysterious makings of the world, but you've worked out that these mysterious ways made you. And that when you stand on that metaphorical mountain of reflection, you say wow, I've made it. Here. 

Wherever that may be and however it came to be, it doesn't matter because you're alive and the next step is just going to be a whole new adventure again.