#lilithdaniels

for once, lilith was taken aback. someone had died. someone was dead. she’d never seen a dead body before. now she had. slipping away from the foyer, she walked rapidly down the halls, unsure of where she was going. she just had to move. adrenaline filled her body, speeding up her heart rate. her head was clouded with emotion– she tried to figure out what it was, but she didn’t exactly have a lot to compare it to.

slipping into a room, she glanced around to find herself in the television room. she hadn’t been in there before. body shaking, she lowered herself into a chair, her trembling hands settling onto the arm rests. seemingly without her control, she let out a laugh. a small one, at first, but it quickly escalated into full on, side splitting laughter. she finally recognized the emotion: excitement. the feeling she got when she saw the man on the stairs, bloody and lifeless, was unlike anything she had ever felt before. sure, she’d killed animals, before, slit them open and watched as they bled, but it was nothing– nothing– compared to the sight she just saw.

another thought crossed her mind: there was a killer in the palace, and it wasn’t her. she felt almost jealous, but giddy at the same time. she had never felt such a rush of emotion and euphoria. still laughing uncontrollably, she wondered if they felt the same way. if they felt the almost sexual pleasure she felt at the thought of draining the life from someone with her hands.

suddenly, she heard footsteps enter the room, and she clapped a hand over her mouth. she could barely hide her excitement. but what if it was the killer? she had to find them, she knew this. she had to let them know that she was on their side. that she could help.

Their conversation had been interrupted. A nervous murmur had come over some of the guests and then a more urgent murmur among the staff. People left very quickly and as soon as there had been any indication of a problem, Lilith had disappeared into the crowd. Juliet had preferred to stay by the edge of things, hover and listen and see what she could find out. 

But it isn’t long before she sees Lilith rush by, too fast for Juliet to keep up, but the other woman’s manic laughter had helped Juliet find her again. She is still dressed from the ball, though now her mask is in her left hand as she walks the halls to the source of the laughter. The tap of her heels must alert Lilith to her presence, and Juliet finally makes it to the door, peaking in. 

“Are you alright?” she asks. “What’s going on?”

Panic attacks can manifest as laughter. Excitation can be felt in an anticipatory capacity as well as a trepidatory capacity. Intense stress can manifest in unexpected ways depending on the person and their history. Lilith’s hand is clamped over her mouth. There is a tendency toward self imposed silencing to halt an excitation reaction. Juliet remembers all of this from therapy. From her doctors explaining what the hell her own reaction were when she had been exposed to triggers.