hey everyone! this is lilacmoon~

i know i've been gone for quite a long while, leaving you guys hanging and waiting for new additions to my readings series.

to be completely honest with you, i haven't touched my files in a while, too. i haven't analyzed any other charts in the past few months that i've been gone. and i'm here to tell you why.

in january of this year, my life fell apart. my dad was hospitalized because of his chronic illness for about 20 days before he passed away. it took a toll on me and my family despite our anticipation for the past 2 years of him battling it harder than he used to.

since then, i've been grieving. i tried my best to escape it, using divination to help people spiritually and emotionally, irl. in my head, i'm healing myself helping others heal too. but as you can predict from the length of my absence, that isn't the case.

and so i took a long break from it, too. i put down my tarot cards and closed tabs of destiny matrices from my computer. because not only did the grief impact me emotionally and mentally, it also hit me hard spiritually.

i wish i'm exaggerating when i say that i saw this all coming. my cards, my family's charts. my own charts. i'm not going to get into detail about them, but they all showed me intense grief, sorrow, and endings.

but i ignored it all, in denial of the reality that's about to hit me. because god forbid a daughter wishes her father gets better so they can continue catching up time lost, right?

during the early mourning periods (my culture has multiple counting days of this), i stopped practicing at home altogether because i know that my dad's spirit is still very much in our home.

i can't bring myself to do any spiritual cleansing ritual even though i needed that to cleanse my tools and ward off the bad energy left by my dad's wake (which is usually held at home in my culture).

i don't want not to feel him around us. i want him to roam as free as he could. this house was where we found our roots. this was his childhood home, and this is our family's ancestral center point.

so to this day, i can only do so much as to do cleansing lightly. just a couple of candles and prayers for my tarot cards, and that's it. the local prayer group who comes in during important dates helps to ward off the rest of the bad energy anyway.

with that said, i couldn't read properly for months. my head was too fogged and my judgement, cloudy. i tried here and there, but at some point, i really had to let it go for a while so that i can regain my pace.

i also recently made a 180 regarding my career since the welfare of my family is 100% on my shoulders now. and so i'm focusing my energy on that a lot so i can succeed, too.

now, where do we go from here?

well, to be honest again, i can't promise you guys any immediate posts just yet. but i do offer some assurance. (๑'ᵕ'๑)⸝*

recently, i had the chance to reconnect with divinity because someone had contacted me for a tarot reading. i thought i was going to go blank, but my cards & the universe still have my back. and i'm so grateful for that.

with regards to the destiny matrix, i think i've got more edge now that i took a little break from it, after a friend also consulted me for fun. i may not be in the perfect state, but i'm slowly getting the hang of it again.

so for those waiting for new parts of my destiny matrix readings series, i'd like to assure you that, despite the frequency of my updates, it has not been abandoned at all.

and for those who'd like their own personal charts read, i truly deeply appreciate your patience. i also assure you that we'll get there. i'll need a bit more time, but we'll get there!

if you've reached this far, thank you so much for lending me your...ear...or eyes....idk. and to those that have been waiting: really, i cannot thank you enough for your patience. i'll be sure to return it in due time!

anyways~! that's all i've got for now. :) i hope that you're still here once i continue updating stuff.