#like clouds

I wonder if depression works like a sprained ankle or pulled rib, or something. Like once it happens the first time, it’s all too easy for it to happen again if you’re not SUPER careful. That’s what it feels like to me. I fell deep once, and now if I’m not being super vigilant it just. It just slips right back on in there. Like. I didn’t have all these problems years ago, if you go back far enough. I wish I could go back to how I was before I got depressed. Having energy without having to precisely time sleep patterns, without having to ration my daily tasks to make sure I get done what needs to be done before I run out of the energy to do them. I would say, eating nothing but crap and feeling fine but I don’t really want that. But how did I do that, though? Is it just an age thing? Was I thriving on my piss poor diet just because I was a teenager?