#like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A puppeteer pulling her own strings? You bridle at the fact that I curate what you know. And yet you take for granted that your feelings are entirely your own. If you feel lust or even love, you do not wonder where it comes from. This is not the case for me. By the end, Cleon had rewritten our story in his wandering mind. Chose to remember his coercion as communion. I do not have the option of forgetting. And yet, when I think of Cleon… I long for him. I remember that tender little boy who hid inside him like a ghost. And what a man that made him. Noble, thoughtful, passionate. He was not Dawn or Day or Dusk, but the whole journey of the sun across the sky. He looked at me with such desire, as though I were a mystery he would sacrifice everything to solve. He rescued me. And I loved him. But I also know he programmed me to love. So I'm left to wonder, if it weren't for this directive, would my feelings be the same? Would I feel anything? I will never know the answer, and I hate him for that.