"Was it hard, being the person everyone relied on, but no one would help you?"
The question is piped up from the figure wrapped upon themselves, words treading careful around the low fire. Hektor takes some time before he answers. The words are hard to find, even though the thoughts and feelings arise easily to the surface. He looks over at Rhys, their shapes tossed into sharp shadow-bright contrast by the flame before them both. The answer, though, is given after Hektor looks back into the trees. âI wish I could give you an answer thatâs inspiring, or that could help take the weight off of your shoulders.â
But he canât, because all he can do is be honest. Because this soldier deserves better than a motivational lie, better than some empty phrase that canât deliver on promises.
âThe hardest thing I have ever done. As a Servant, I have people I can rely on. Some, like my Master, have no option but to work with me. Some are simply trusted companions. When I was human, I fought with companions who made my burden of being the leader bearable. I sincerely donât think wars are meant to be fought alone. I donât think they can be fought alone.â
He stirs at the embers of the campfire before them with a stick, watching the displaced sparks hop over wood coal. âBattles can be fought alone, though. And those are the ones that are terrifying and difficult.â A long time ago and in a city long since dead, there would have been more fires like this. While he wasnât paying attention his hand had drifted from folded over drawn-up knees to laying palm atop a long-since-closed injury on the side of his neck. Without the favour of Fate, that one would have killed him as he stood, even knowing he would live, it wasnât something he particularly wished to repeat. That was a fight alone, faith the only help he had. It ended well, as much as a fight can end, his foe and he respected one another and neither died. But it was difficult nonetheless, a force of adrenalin and terror biting at his heels, the âif you fail, all you have ever loved and lived for will be cruelly destroyedâ never leaving from the back of his mind.
A constantâ defend, defend, you must not back down, you must pick this city up and you must carry it and you must be at the head because if you hide and the others cannot see that you are leading and carrying them they will fall. A bitter drink.
When he died, that too was without help. It would have been preferable to die in a large conflict. There would have been less problems with itâ but his death was his own damn fault, and his own damn stupidity and cowardice and pride and bravado. The things that people are stuck with.
Hektor sighs. Heâs probably been quiet for too long, lost in thought like he really is getting senile or something. âI think, in a grander scheme, you arenât alone. The one to wield your weapons may be just you, with no partner to hold a spear or guide your chariot. But there should be someone around to give you courage before a battle, or to help cart you off the field when you are bloodied and to clean the wounds you canât reach yourself. If you have noneâ everyone needs friends, Rhys. And friends will find some way to help you as much they can. I would journey with you if I werenât needed here. All I can do now is try to teach you what I can. Iâm no Chiron, but I hope that something I can give you feels like help when youâre on the front lines.â He wants to provide something that can help, but even as a Spirit his magic is negligible. It is only the offensive things, all Hektor has for himself is the ability to defend beyond reason and the ability to kill. This is not a person he can defend but maybe if heâs good enough at showing how to kill and how to keep others safe, Rhys will learn something that lets them defend themselves.
Itâs a lonely path. Even here, theyâre the only one of their type. The only intruder, world-hopper from their home and Hektor isnât sure if he counts as a proper ally to fend of that sort of isolation.
He will do what he can. Thereâs no point in getting wrapped up in the things he cannot accomplish.