I just want to share my life with you guys although you don’t know me. I just want to express the things that I encounter and most of them is not really good. Happy moments? Yes, I have those but rare. Sadness? Yes, because its part of life, Grief? Of course most of us experiencing it. Hardships, hopelessness, trials? Very Yes, because that is life. How can you earn strength if you don’t experience these all? Am I right? But, these kinds off situation is coming to your life in the right time. You know why? I learn to my experiences that you’ll see what’s the worth of life if you feel these situations, painful, worst painful, and the feeling that you are alive but you’re dead inside. Different pain in different situation of trials and you’ll gain something from it. Believe me. You’ll gain it also in God’s Perfect Time. Just trust in him.

I would like to start my story when I was 5 years old.

1. When I was five years old, my mother found out that my father is cheating on her. This is the painful part of my life being a child because who’s child would like to have a broken family? Even if, you say that we’re together but behind  of that we’re not. And hey! look until now that I’am 19 years old, there’s no changes at all and I’m used to it.

2. When I was 16 years old, I fell in love with a guy that I hated the most. Idk, it just happen on December 31, 20** and after one and eight years. He left me. He left me with scars, pain and sadness. He was the first man I loved that much. He was my first love and heartbreak. I will never forget how I’m desperate to googled “how to move on”. It hit me so much. That is the most pain that I ever felt in my life. You’re alive, breathing, talking, walking, but you’re definitely dead inside. My heart is aching, I feel the pain so much pain that I can’t live without him but he choose to leave me. I thought his reason is acceptable but the truth is he’s just using excuses for him to leave me and after three weeks, I discover that he’s with other girl.The pressure of anger inside me increases but even if I get angry there’s no used of it. It won’t changed the fact that he left me. 3 Month Rule, I believe in that rule and after three months, I feel little better. In five months, I feel after shock because he  texted and call to say sorry for all the bad things he made but after a year now. I ca say that I feel better. I can’t feel the pain anymore even if I reminisce that pain but I won’t forget my first heartbreak.

3. And now that I’m 19 years old, I experience “FAILURE” in academics. I got dropped in one of my subject last semester because last semester is the heavy sem for all marketing major having for major subject (Advertising plan, feasibility study, strategic plan and services plan) but this four major I passed it. The one that I got dropped is minor subject. Idk why, I do my best to pass that subject but it just happen. And now, I’m taking it again.

4. For the very last experience now, wait don’t get me wrong I know I will experience more not just today but to the current tomorrow’s of my life. But now, I encounter “GRIEF” the feeling that you are broke because your father hasn’t yet got a job and it’s been for two months. It’s like my weekly allowance is 100 per day so 700 per week. So much broke because I’m with my sister we are studying in Manila and we’re apart with our parents. And then, I encounter that I lend money to my friend because she needed it but we have a contract that she must bring it back to me within one week but it takes one week and three days. The three days of it is the most hungry days of my life because I have no money. Literal No money. If I don’t get angry she will not pay it back ASAP. And lastly, tonight someone stole my bag. You know what’s inside of my bag? My laptop, pocket wifi and powerbank. I thank God that I hold my wallet and my phone. The lady who stole it inside the MCDONALDS because I left my bag in the table but my friends is in there. They don’t notice that someone stole my bag because they are busy doing our project proposal. 

And look, If you see through all of my experience it just SAD. So much pain, but I think I’ll gain something from it. 

LIFE is a MESS? NO! It just teach us how to be strong and how to handle things in life. It also bring us to realize how life is important and to encounter and face those suffering and you survive. It just a big privileged because you know you learn from it. You learn something from it. You gain something from it. And you become matured from all of that experience.