#lifeisabattle

You came into my life like a beautiful dessert storm, finding me in a open plain that left me vulnerable and exposed. You hit me like the summers rain, Unexpected and Vigorous. Dripping from my fingers like diamonds from rocks - My body tingles for you but my heart is cold and course.

When you first showed up – I begged you to leave. My shelter was still in ruins and my eyes still searched for the needed resources to begin the repair. However, you insisted on staying... Promising your rain would bring the needed nourishment.

But like acid, your drops stung my skin, your words like arrows sunk right in. You promised to save me and spun me a dream, a cloak of golden sunshine I tried so hard to believe.

Just as I opened the doors to my secret places within. Removed the curtain that hid the army of demons I was facing. Gave you the bleeding pieces of my heart I had left. Left behind all I knew and loved behind to start a new with you. Shared and surrendered all I had just to help you succeed.

My greatest fear came alive like a powerful beast. Your gentle rain became a tornado that sucked me in and I lost my footing on crumbling ground. So there I was left on my bleeding knees and you stood over me and asked - Why I couldn’t see only what you could see.

The truth was – you were the one blind towards me... Creating a illusion of a three headed monster when in fact, my soul was like a waste land in Autumn - baron, bare and susceptible. Stripped of everything familiar and dependable, everything I ever knew, loved or cared for lay like dead dried up leaf’s all around me.

This is how I begun the journey through one of the most coldest winters I have ever experienced - lost, alone, broken, defeated and unsure.

I begged you to save me, I pleaded for you have empathy... But you turned away from me, forcing my survival instincts to surface, which was to cut all my emotions, and this time too a new level even I wasn’t aware possible. Then I entered a new, grander battle zone without any even a sword so defend myself from the demons that lay ahead.

During this frosty season, were I attempted to hide along the thin shadows of the baron trees, trying to avoid the many foot soldiers sent by *Abaddon* (see footnote). Their eyes of fire, setting the world around me to flame, their senses heightened... hunting for my blood again.

Although this time, you picked at me while I was running from battle after battle - Like a tooth pick picking at the unwanted pieces. When all I longed for at night, shivering in a fetal position, was your warm strong arms I once felt so safe in. But now safe is just a word...

I felt like a soul without a host. Disconnected from reality due to how you severed my last tie with the humanity, the one that felt unconditional love. You showed me a promise is no more than a means to an end. In a game where the world only spins on the axis of selfish pain.

Footnotes:

Abaddon – Herbrew – Destroyer, adivisor, said to be chief of demons. Sometimes regarded as the destroying angel

Artwork  - Designed by: TheWoundedWarriorJBH

Written work - Combined effort between myself and a dear friend - My Person

Bet On Yourself, Not On The Odds - Motivational Speech BY: Eddie Pinero

Side Note from Blogger - I do occasionally post some of the incredible Motivational Videos I come across... However this one spoke so clearly to me and I gain understanding and true person growth of some measure by listening to it... The speaker does it very well - so if you can watch the video, I suggest, take a quiet seat just for 5-minutes and listen to the story that this speaker unfolds from beginning to end and the emotion he holds in his voice as he does it.

*HOWEVER*, This was such a good message, I decided to write out the entire speech, word for word, Not only for the warriors unable to watch, but also for the message to gain a deeper hold and understanding within... I GET THESE VIDEOS CAN GET A LITTLE - ROLLING THE EYES - BUT THIS ONE... THIS ONE SPEAKS TO THAT SOUL WITH IN YOU...*

“We have a Desire to Define that which is often UNdefinable…

When it comes to life and its highly coveted outcomes, assessing the things that we want, we use Probability to Solidify things that are entirely Fluid.

For example; You often hear about the Odds of becoming a professional football player, The Odds of becoming a CEO, of going to Harvard, making six or seven figures… Numbers that often paint a picture of Why you Can't.

That when you hear only One in however many millions of people accomplish something.

The intent is to Show you that You're more likely to fall into the millions bucket than the One bucket. - To Show just how rare or difficult or out of the ordinary Achieving that thing Would Be. Almost like they are being Compared to the lottery - a random number generator... A Lock… A Pursuit in which you have ZERO control.

Think of huge a glass jar – There is One red marble, and Three Million green marbles… And it's like you close your eyes and you better pull out that red one otherwise you won’t become the Oscar winning actor that you dream of being.

The problem with looking at life that way, is that it Overshadows the MOST Important element of success… Understanding just how much Control. You. Have!

The one in however many Hundreds or Thousands or Millions - Was NOT born that ONE red marble in a jar full of three million green OneS. No!... Here she just did things Differently, lived Differently… They didn't relinquish control… they TOOK Control!... and that's the Difference… that's what Matters.

The lottery is sitting back and Hoping your numbers pull - In real life - You create Your Own Probability - Every day, Every minute that goes towards working Towards a Goal - That Means you Get Closer!

Why would you take a snapshot of the Present Moment in Time and Use that to Define the Likelihood that you'll live out your Dream someday down The Road, it doesn't tell you anything; It’s The Steps Along that make your vision a Reality.

Using the same metaphor - Every step, Every decision to push forward, Every time you dig deep and find a little advantage - You're Replacing one of those green marbles with the red One.

Maybe you can't quantify that numerically, Maybe you can't see the progress… BUT it's there!

In fact, numbers should never scare you - Because they're an Indicator that the vast majority of people Aren’t prepared to go All The Way… Aren’t willing to do What It Takes. And YOU… By simply Not stopping, By thinking that You CAN, By giving more than the person next to you… YOU have a Tremendous Advantage over the rest of the world.

When you hear only a small number of people Make it, or Graduate, get Accepted or Win… Your thought process ShouldN’T be… “Oh No”… It Should be… “Perfect this is My Opportunity!” Of course the number of Elite people in any arena is going to be small - THINK of what it Takes to Get There…

Think about the Sacrifice that needed To Make It Happen. The COST that Must be Paid…!

The only Odds that weren’t intentional, are the Odds that you'll continue forward and you should know that they're one hundred percent.

Because when you trust yourself to find a way, When you focus on how to make it happen, YOU have an Advantage!... The world around you? They focus on Why things Can't happen, They see What Can go wrong, They harp on the fact that it's not easy.

Remaining fixated on Why you can.. On finding a way… This means YOU most likely will!

The Terms Difficult or Demanding or even UNlikely, They have NOTHING to do with You crossing the finish line. If you are one hundred percent Convinced you are going to do just that… - Words like Difficultly just imply that there's going to be plenty of opportunities to Quit and Turn Around along the way. A Temptation that Must and Will be Ignored.

They mean that YOU Will be tested. That you'll have to ask yourself, *potentially numerous times*, IF this means something to you? And if it's TRULY worth it and IF the Answer is YES?