Today is not a good example of what my life is right now.
Today has been crappy. My beautiful Gatsby, and now Hero. It's my fault, I texted him first. I just don't want him to fall out of my life...I wish with all my effing might that I could just wave a magic wand and make us the same kind of close that we used to be. I just pray that if I can't have him back as my friend, I find someone/someone grows into as close a friend as he was to me. Hero could have been so much more caring and understanding, and I know that now. I know he wasn't the best friend a person could have, and that he actually kinda sucks at a lot of things. But he made me feel safe and like I'd never be alone...like someone understood me. Oh well. I guess St. Joan was probably right when 'twas written for her, "What is my loneliness compared before the loneliness of my country and my God? My God finds strength in his loneliness...and so shall I." Though I'll never be alone, even if I'm never understood, it won't matter. It shall be my strength.
