⧽ ° ✽ ｡ ⧼ . . @lieuthazard ASKED : “they’ll get you for that.” / for abel, from mav :D
HER SKIN FEELS LIKE IT’S LIT AFLAME . her mouth is an open chasm , light beyond her inside , a choke of a reply sitting at the roof of her mouth . she chooses the smile , chooses to maintain this lighter air around her . all sewn lips + redirected eyes , she soothes water over her words . she drowns , she drowns . at the bottom of the ocean , then she becomes words in the air . ❛❛ i’m already going to get yelled at , ❜❜ she decides to not finish her request . CAN I HAVE MY PEACE SOMEWHERE BEFORE THE STORM ? --------- this is what she wanted to say . crystallizing breath in this pressure behind her throat , she understands where she floats . in the air force , she’s one of their best , both in the air + on land ; in naval aviation , she’s a student learning from one of their best . but she is neither here nor there ; her place is in the middle of a rock + hard place . in this purgatory of when + where they desire her to be .
HER HEAD WEEPS IN THE ACHE OF A HEADACHE ; her superiors are not kind in her own regard --------- this squadron of pilots loaned to + from seemed like an honor , until she realized that she was alone in her efforts . she finds her squad ; she communicates with the differing parties ; the only thing they offered was the request for her reception to be met with an instructor once she familiarized herself with the differences in everything air force pilots versus naval aviation pilots . ❛❛ you know , it feels like they’re trying to test me , to see if i’ll mess this up , this one thing that they don’t even have a hold of structure on . it’s like they want to set me up for failure . ❜❜ she supposes she sounds like she’s complaining , but it’s not much far off the truth once the sunsets beneath her tongue . all the structure she thrived within , everything she branched her actions upon , HER HANDS TREMBLE WITH THE WEIGHT OF EVERYTHING SHE HAS TO CREATE .
( she wonders if god feels this way , if he folds his stomach like fresh linen when he has to make something up out of the air . )
ABEL CRACKS HER MOUTH UNDER THE HEAVINESS OF SUGAR SYRUP ON HER LIPS . silliness twists her gut into ropes of guilt , + she wonders if her brother ever felt like this when she rocked him to sleep in the dark of a room he was afraid of . tension stutters her steps , + she heaves loudly , sighs into the loud air of outside . ❛❛ i know they’re going to rip me a new one for that training exercise . can i just have this small moment of freedom before that ? ❜❜ dramatics tickle at her infliction of a voice , but these dramatics feel like simple theatre when anticipation colors her pink .
