#lie again

You were waiting for the train to come when a guy stands beside you. He stayed there for quite long now and you were about to question him why is he there when you noticed that there is actually a line before him. He's with the line, you're not.

You mentally cursed yourself for not noticing the line. You looked back and saw how long the line is. You really wanted to reach home now, but with how long the line is you doubt you'll be able to lie down on your bed.

You were about to go at the back when someone spoke.

"It seems like you didn't notice that there's a line. You can take my space, I'll go last, you were here earlier than me anyways."

You were about to decline his offer but he already left. The last thing you know was you were already in the train.

The next day you learned your lesson.  You instantly looked for the line so that what happened yesterday won't happen today.

The last station was your stop. There are few stations left before yours so you just relaxed on your seat.

While in the middle of keeping yourself relaxed, your shoulders suddenly felt heavy. You looked and saw the guy from yesterday — sound asleep on your shoulders. You didn't move a muscle, although you kinda felt uncomfortable for letting someone you don't know lie on your shoulders, but you think of this as a compensation of what he did yesterday.

As time passes by you can't help but focus on his face. You haven't seen anyone having this strong yet innocent look before. You sometimes steal glances at him, even though he'll not know it since he's asleep. You just couldn't believe it.

Your stop arrived, it also means this is the train's last stop. You have no choice but to wake up this beautiful man sleeping on your shoulders.

"Excuse me. This is the last stop, you need to wake up. Hello?" You said while poking his shoulders.

You can now breathe properly as he was now awake. Unfortunately that didn't last long since you were breathless at how he looked at you.

"Did I fall asleep?" He asked.

Dear passengers, this is the last stop. Thank you and have a wonderful night.

The train's doors opened and passengers slowly made their way out.

"My bad, my name's Seungcheol. If I'm not mistaken you were the lady from yesterday?" He asked.

You gave a nod as an answer. He led the two of you out of the train and continued to talk to you.

"I'm sorry for sleeping on you back there, it was really just a rough day at work today and I think I'm just tired--"

"Do you want to eat with me?" You questioned, leaving him surprised. "I mean you really looked like you need some company and a touch of something to eat... So?" You continued.

Seungcheol was still surprised and speechless for some minutes, but he successfully came back to his senses. He happily accepted your offer by showing his shy, gummy smile.

You were in the middle of waiting your orders to come when Seungcheol suddenly spoke.

"I-- I haven't got your name yet. I mean it's okay if you don't want to--"

"_____.. My name's _____." 

Seungcheol smiled for finally knowing your name.

The dinner last for an hour with both of you sharing some experiences in life. You thought that it's much better to share to strangers than to the ones who know you as they can't spread false rumors about you. It was also how Seungcheol thought of when he was sharing his experiences to you.

On your talk you learned that Seungcheol has a younger brother to raise, they lost their parents in a bus accident.

"I haven't thanked you yet for yesterday so this one's on me." You said and Seungcheol immediately declined, but you have paid already, so he can't do anything about it.

He wants to walk you home but he remembered his younger brother probably waiting for him so he bid goodbye.

You thought that this can be your last meeting so you bowed to him and said your goodbye.

Seungcheol's heart was shaken when you asked him to eat with you. He was speechless and surprised. While waiting, he can't help but ask your name. He probably was the happiest man in the world when you introduced yourself. He shared some things about himself because he felt comfortable with you.

Some days passed, Seungcheol was still in your mind. You wondered why because you can't figure yourself out. It has been 3 days since you two met.

You were on your way to the same station— of course to go home. You were about to buy a ticket when someone tapped your shoulders and flashed two tickets in front of your face.

It was Seungcheol. You were breathless for a minute just by looking at him with his smile as he showed the tickets to you. At this point you may have figured yourself out, but you refused to do it.

"I saw you when I was buying mine and I thought I should get one for you as well. So here, let's wait for the train together." Seungcheol said while getting your right hand and placing the ticket on it.

You stayed at your place. You don't know why but you kept staring at him as he walked away from you. Seungcheol may have noticed you not by his side, so he turned around and gestured you to follow him— you did.

It has been like a tradition for the both of you. You buy two tickets when you arrived earlier, he also buy two tickets when he arrived earlier than you.

For almost three months of knowing each other, you figured out that it was love at first sight. You don't know about him, but you knew for yourself you fell when he gave his line to you.

In those 3 months, it didn't just occur at the train station. You went to a mall together to buy gifts for his younger brother. You have watched movies together and shared meals together. It was like being in a relationship without the official labels.

You were in a hurry today, you worked for extra two hours because of your lazy workmates. You weren't in a hurry to go home fast, it was because of Seungcheol. You were worried if he waited this long for you at the station.

Seungcheol sat on the bench as he waited for you. When an hour passed, he started getting worried if something happened to you. Two hours passed, he still waited for you. He was about to board the next train when he saw you. He immediately ran over you.

"You should have just boarded the train when I wasn't here. I worked for extra two hours to finish the remaining files. I'm sorry for making you wait." You said not giving him a time to ask a question because you knew it was just going to be the 'are you okay' line.

Seungcheol smiled at you. You were being too adorable for him. He held your hand and entered the train together. You were surprised at this action. He never did this before and it's making your heart beats faster. He never let go of your hand until the last station.

"_____, let's meet here tomorrow after work. Don't buy two tickets anymore, I'll be waiting for you here. See you!" Seungcheol said while giving you a wink before leaving.

You were unable to move for a second. Your mind was filled with how he held your hand throughout the whole ride. You also wondered why he asked to meet here.

"Wait... Is he going to confess?! No no... I shouldn't make expectations... But there's no doubt he'd confess... The wink... I mean if he confess, I'll also confess...Oh my gosh I think I'm going to be crazy!" People on the station looked at you because of how you said it loudly.

You went home happily as you waited for what's going to happen tomorrow.

While at home, you looked on the mirror and asked yourself.

"I'm badly in love don't I?"

You can see how sparkles were visible in your eyes. If being in love is a disease, you most likely be dead now. You calmed yourself and got ready to sleep.

Seungcheol went home grinning. Those gummy smile of his won't leave his face as he finally had the chance to say what he truly feels tomorrow. He obviously fell in love with you.

Seungcheol was clueless when he saw his younger brother waiting for him outside their apartment.

He wasn't even able to ask his brother of what's wrong when his brother handed him an envelope.

"I thought we're done with this?! I thought you'll stay and not leave?! I thought the money I kept depositing was enough to make you stay?! Why now?" His younger brother said with tears falling from his eyes.

Seungcheol's smile immediately fades upon holding the red envelope. He knows what this is. He wants to go to give his brother a better future. He planned this years ago. He kept waiting for it to come to the point he became anxious about it.

2 years ago...

"Eunsik, just focus on your studies... Quit doing part-time jobs. I'm your older brother, I'm responsible for you. I already applied and sent my form on an electronic company in LA."

His brother was scared of him being away to provide a better future. But Seungcheol really made up his mind and nothing can ruin it.

Seungcheol waited for the company's response about his form. It has already been a year and with that he lost hope. He thought working in LA is really not for him.

"If it's not for me then it's not for me. But when I'll be given an opportunity like this, I'm ready to give up anything."

He remembered what he promised to himself.

"Why now? When everything is finally getting better. Why now?" He asked himself.

Seungcheol can't make himself go to sleep with thought of you being hurt. He was scared if he confess and start a relationship far away from each other. He wants to make it easy for you. After some time, he finally made up his mind.

"Seungcheol should be here by now..." You said.

You can't hide the excitement you feel for today. You also planned to confess today as you feel this might be the right time to do it.

"Today is really perfect. Hmmm." You said to yourself while kept searching on the crowd.

You sat on the bench as you wait for Seungcheol. While looking for something in your bag, there's someone who stand right in front of you.

You looked up and saw Seungcheol. You can't process the emotion his wearing right now. But you sensed that something's not right.

You were about to speak when he spoke.

"Finally it's done." He said.

You were clueless on what his saying. Seungcheol continued speaking.

"As you know, the first time we met it was too good to be true don't you think? Those only happened in some shitty dramas don't you think? I hope you're not blind but I can really see it in your eyes that you were blinded by those lame fairy tales. Can't you see that this... This all was just a complete game? Y/N I played you. If I'm correct, you thought I'm gonna confess today isn't it?"

You were hurt. It pierced your heart, you thought everything was right. It was really too good to be true, but you really saw how he looked at you for those months of being together... As friends.

One thing is for sure... You were hurt... Badly.

"W..hat are you.." you stammered.

"_____, you're not even pretty. I mean look at you. Someone who's as good looking as me can't possibly just fall in love with someone like you. Remember this _____, I don't love you... I don't even like you."

With that you slapped him.. really hard..

"I accepted the fact that you played me. But saying those hurtful words including my appearance, you crossed the line Seungcheol. Not even you can dictate who I am. You are not my mother for you to judge me like that. And yes! I thought you were really gonna confess tonight about you liking me, but it turns out it was you being disgusted to me." You said angrily.

You failed to hide your tears. It was hard to hide them when you're really hurt. You are not paying attention to what's the expression of Seungcheol right now. You were busy wiping your tears and being mad at yourself for believing on such lies.

Seungcheol was hurting. This is what he planned last night. He thought saying those words will be much easier for everything, but he was completely wrong. He was broken inside. He wants to say everything was just a lie and that he truly loves you, but he can't.

Before he received the envelope last night. He imagined this night to be you and him hugging each other. He imagined you saying the three words to him. Those precious words... If only he didn't received it, this would've been perfect.

His thoughts were cut with you suddenly saying the three words.

"I hate you! I really hate you.. and I hope to not see you again... Even on my second life. Please remember that." You said while leaving with tears painted on your cheeks.

Seungcheol's tears finally escaped his eyes. He was crying really hard. You were his first love and he even thought of you being his last.

"It was all ruined."

As you know, the first time we met it was too good to be true don't you think? Those only happened in some shitty dramas don't you think? I hope you're—

I lied.

"The first time I laid my eyes on you I knew it was you that keeps my heart beating."

Y/N, you're not even pretty. I mean look at you. Someone who's as good looking as me can't possibly just fall—

I lied again.

"You were the most beautiful woman for me."

"I wonder if I can hear the three words coming from you."

"I dreamed about it, you saying 'I love you'"

I hate you!

Instead, I received this. This words are probably the most painful ones I heard, especially it came from you... The woman whom I adored and love.

(*sigh* Boy do I love me some unnecessary love angst)

GUESS WHO IS BACK AFTER YEARS OF NEGLECT, ONLY FOR A ONE-TIME REUNION BEFORE VANISHING AGAIN? (it’s me, now let’s get into it: )

SO, when it comes to Don’t Wanna Cry and Lie Again, it was probably obvious to everyone that they were connected after they heard Vernon repeat his line from DWC in Lie Again. Except he ended it differently in Lie Again. I saw a lot of people theorizing that while in DWC our poor boys didn’t understand why they were being left behind, in Lie Again they matured and had come to understand that sometimes it is better to let go.

SO, you FOOLS! You are WRONG! (I’m joking, your theory is just as valid as mine until Woozi explains himself and we are both wrong. Excuse my aggressive tone, I am just hyped rn.)

These songs are not about one person suffering heartbreak and changing their views as time goes by, coming to understand the other person from that time. These two songs are about two people. They are a conversation of unsaid words between two people who used to be together but recently broke up.

Both songs describe one of the two sides of a relationship in which both people loved the other a lot, but worried that wasn’t enough (as evidenced by the fact that Vernon says those lines in both songs). However, they both take different actions based on those same feelings. The person whose thoughts are being conveyed in Lie Again (let’s call that person LA, for convenience’s sake) lets the other person go (let’s call the other person DWC) in an attempt to save them from more pain and more painful memories. DWC, however tries to hold on but is left behind wondering why LA left them even though they cherished LA more than anyone else, contemplating that maybe they didn’t convey their love well enough because words weren’t enough. They ask LA if they left because they didn’t like them anymore. To which LA replies with lies saying that they have come to not like DWC anymore, because LA is trying to push DWC away while DWC is waiting for LA to return, even actively looking for them.

So clearly, DWC and LA were once together, and DWC is from the perspective of the person being pushed away, whereas LA is from the perspective of the person doing the pushing.

As such, the songs can be read ike a conversation between LA and DWC, including the unsaid things that they don’t tell the other, and as a result I now ship two songs (what has my life come to?)

Anyway, if you read all the way to the end, thank you very much for your patience and I am very sorry.