{thirty six}

When you woke up the next morning you were feeling content and warm. You’d cuddled further under the covers, not yet ready to give into the permanent chill January seemed to bring with it.

You felt Minghao shift behind you, getting as close as he could.

Your heart stopped for a second, memories of last night filling your mind in rapid succession.

You confessing to Minghao, the first kiss, the many kisses that followed, and the night where neither of you left Minghao’s room.

“You awake?” You heard Minghao’s rough voice ask.

“I am. I’d ask if you are, but that’s obvious.” you said.

You felt Minghao’s breath against your neck as he let out a small laugh.

“So...how you doin’?” Minghao asked, voice sounding extremely salacious.

“ I think I need food first.” you laughed, rolling over to look into his eyes, stopping his thought process right there.

“That’s not a bad idea. We should probably talk about, well, everything too.” Minghao said, sitting up in bed pulling you with him.

You weren’t sure why, but you felt awkward all the sudden.

“What’s that look for?” Minghao asked you.

“I’m not sure. Just got super anxious suddenly to talk about things with you.” you told him honestly.

Minghao snorted out a laugh, rolling over to get out of bed.

“So you can do totally dirty and inappropriate things, but you can’t talk about it?” he laughed.

“Well it sounds ridiculous when you put it like that!” you said, swatting at his bare leg.

“Get up. Let’s make some breakfast and coffee and just...talk.”

Making breakfast with Minghao was no different than any other day. You weren’t sure why that surprised you, but it did either way.

The only difference came in the touches that felt different. He leaned around you to grab something and placed his hand on the small of your back like any other day, but it felt different. You were hyper aware of his soft touches now, where you’d grown used to them before. But now that things had shifted between the two of you, you wondered how you weren’t as aware before.

He also added small kisses to the top of your head or your cheek anytime he passed by, that was different, but felt natural. It felt like that’s how you’d been making breakfast together for the last six months, even though you knew it wasn’t.

Once breakfast was done and you were at the table, Minghao broached the subject immediately.

“So...that was an interesting turn of events,” he said.

“It was. Was it...a...bad turn of events?” you asked.

“If it were a bad turn of events, would we have taken as far last night?” Minghao asked, looking at you curiously.

“Well I don’t know what you do with your spare time Minghao.” you laughed.

“Well, I can promise you that...that isn’t something I do in my free time.”

“Good to know. I also don’t do that in my spare time.” you told him.

“I love how we can’t even use the word sex in a sentence.” Minghao laughed.

"So we've established we're not casually sleeping with anyone else, that's a plus."

"Yeah no loose ends to tie up for us."

“Well, I have one semi loose end.” you reminded him.

“Ah, right. Want me to go with you?” Minghao asked.

“No thanks. It’s not like we’re going to fight and argue about anything. I just feel like I should give him the heads up that he was right.” you laughed.

“Is that the awkward conversation that made you want to flee the country? Telling him that you liked me?” Minghao asked.

“Don’t flatter yourself. I didn’t even know last night.” you said honestly.

“You didn’t know you liked me? Is that possible?”

“Apparently. Last night I knew you were my best friend and I trusted you with my life. I knew that you looked really good on Halloween in that leather jacket. I knew that I loved living here with you and am going to love even more living here with you and your parents. I knew that no matter where I was in life, you’d be there for me. I knew that I loved you with my whole heart because you always push me to be myself and support me and you’re amazing.” you said before smiling at him and continuing.

“I had to sit and think it over last night because that doesn’t necessarily translate into a relationship either. With the exception of the Halloween looks and living together, I feel a lot of the same feelings for Jooheon. He’s there for me unconditionally and I have so much room in my heart for him it’s insane.”

“I’m not really into the idea of a throuple.” Minghao laughed.

“You’re ruining the moment and I’m going to smack you.” you warned him.

“Sorry, continue.”

“I thought about it all night and I realized that it’s almost as if my center of gravity shifts when you’re around. When I’m alone, or without you, I’m just me. But if you’re in the room I realize that I want to be us. I want to include you in everything. You’re in every story I tell, every memory I have here. Shownu was right. I’m only open to the idea of dating, if the person I’m dating is you.”

Minghao just watched your face as you spoke, the expression on his face hard for you to decipher.

“We’re not in a relationship, but when you started hanging out with Shownu as a prospective boyfriend, it felt like a break up.” Minghao admitted quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“I just… knew things were going to change. You weren’t going to sleep in my bed anymore when you were scared. We couldn’t have cuddle sessions on the couch when we couldn’t sleep. You’d eventually move out. I knew things would change and I didn’t like it. That’s another part of why I had such a weird reaction to the news of you dating. It felt like my whole life was going to change. It was stupid and selfish but I hated it. But I also saw how much fun you had with Shownu. I saw that he treated you really well and made you laugh.”

“He does make me laugh. Mostly because it was so awkward, not gonna lie. So...so does this mean that you knew you liked me?” you asked.

“I knew I liked our life here. I knew that I wanted to protect you, I knew I wanted to punch your stupid ex in the throat because of the way he treated you. I knew I was going out of my mind with worry Christmas Eve when you weren't here. More so after I found out why and you left. And I knew that you closed yourself off but you didn't need to because you're amazing and funny and bat shit crazy. I knew you're beautiful in the morning when you're still half asleep but demand coffee, and even when you cry. So...yeah I knew I liked you, but I knew you weren't ready. Also, I didn't know how you felt about me and I wasn't trying to ruin our life here by admitting anything."

"This...this is a lot to take in not going to lie." You admitted, Minghao's words swimming around in your head.

"Sorry, just thought I should be honest." he laughed.

"I appreciate it, but I'm still processing."

"Well how about, while you're processing, we go take a nap. I'm tired." Minghao said, getting up to put his dishes in the sink.

"You're not tired you're just a fucking bum." You laughed.

"So...am I your girlfriend now?" You asked as you followed him to the bedroom.

"I mean, I hope so. We don't have to label it yet if you don't want to."

"So you're okay causally sleeping with me?" You laughed, remembering he said he didn't do that.

"No, I'm not. But I know that isn't what's happening. You just might not be ready to make big declarations so I can wait until then." He said honestly.

{thirty four}

The next morning you woke up when you heard Minghao slamming cupboards in the kitchen.

"What the fuck? Would you be quiet?" You yelled out at him.

"I'm going to be late." He yelled back. You couldn't help but laugh.

"It's not funny! Jun's salty ass really might fire me this time."

You threw your blankets off before walking into the kitchen.

"Maybe don't snooze your alarm 8 times."

"Maybe don't convince me to watch all three John wick movies in one night!"

"Oh yeah, convince you. All I said was 'hey let's watch the third one too' and you fucking said yes! Real conniving of me. Just get your stuff and go. I'll be right behind you with coffee and food."

"Thanks, bye." Minghao said, running out the door.

You were walking around the grocery store when Mei called you later that day.

"You'll never believe what your son did today." You said as soon as you picked up

"Well hello to you too dear. What'd my boy do today?"

"Woke up late and then started banging on kitchen cabinets until I woke up because he knew if I was up I'd get his food and coffee and he wouldn't be late!"

“That...sounds exactly like something he would do.” Mei laughed.

“He’s so frustrating and irritating I swear to god.” you told her.

"Yes but you handle it so well" Mei told you, laughing on the other line.

"Some days are easier than others.Also, sorry for the sudden influx of shit talking about your son. What's up?" You asked realizing that she called you first.

"Not much. I was just checking on you, see how you're feeling."

"You've been gone less than 24 hours" you reminded her.

"And? I've been worried since I stepped out of the house. I know you're internalizing and you're worried. I just...want you to be happy."

"I actually am not internalizing as much as you think. While I didn't open up about Shownu, I did talk to Minghao about some of the stuff you and I have been discussing."

"That's a start dear. I will always be here for you, but Minghao is closer to you and will always be on your side in these struggles against yourself. He may be a shithead at times, but he is a person you won't regret having in your corner."

"I know, it's just hard. But I'm getting there. More than that, I want to get there. I've been thinking a lot and I know I can open myself up to the guys, I just have to do it."

"Speaking of guys. Have you thought of what you were going to say to Shownu yet?" Mei asked.

"Yes? Ugh, I don't know. I'm an awkward bean and don't know how to have those conversations." You admitted.

"Sweetie, you have the conversation with him that you'd have with anyone else. Before anything he's a friend and you talk to him like such."

"Why is it when you say it... it's easy. But when I think about it I feel like I'm standing in front of a crowd naked."

"While I don't recommend having the conversation sans clothes, if that'll help then maybe you should."

"What the hell Mei!"

You went home that afternoon and after putting groceries away, text Shownu.

You knew if you called him, you'd avoid hanging out if he asked.

You sent a simple text asking if he was free and then put your phone face down.

"Maybe if I can't see it, I won't have to respond." You told yourself.

However, Shownu responded immediately. Your phone pinging loudly in the quiet room.

"Damn...forgot about the sound." You said, picking your phone up lightly

Shownu was free, and invited you to stop by anytime.

Minghao chose that time to walk in the door.

"Hey, Ming?" You asked as soon as he was in the house.

"What's up?" He asked, setting his keys down on the table.

"Do you think five minutes is enough time to have decided to flee the country and change your name?"

"I mean that's a tough question." Minghao responded. "Is this a spontaneous decision or one that's been thought out and planned thoroughly?"

"Spontaneous?"

"Then obviously fucking not."

"Well damn, you didn't have to come at my throat like that."

"What are you fleeing the country for?" Minghao asked.

"An awkward conversation about an awkward situation with an awkward me." You whined.

"That's...a lot of information while not saying a lot. Anything I can help with?"

"While I appreciate that...I think I need to have the conversation with them first and then cry about it later." You told him.

"Cry? Is it bad?" Minghao asked, worried about your words.

"No Minghao, it's fucking awkward!"

"I officially never want to hear that word again."

You said goodbye to Minghao later, telling him not to wait up for you. You'd either have a good conversation that could take a while, or you'd embarrass yourself and drink yourself stupid. Either were viable options at this point.

You spent the drive to shownu's thinking about the best route to take when bringing up the conversation. Did you do it as an indirect conversation? Or just bluntly come out and say it?

By the time you were knocking on his apartment door, the option of fleeing seemed more and more interesting.

As soon as he opened the door, and you opened your mouth, you really were ready for the world to swallow you whole.

"So…like… You don't want to be my boyfriend huh?"

As you sat on the couch in the living room, you were trying to think of how to make things less awkward.

“Sorry I didn't mean to just throw that out there the second I saw your face.” you admitted, unable to look at him.

“That's okay I'm just a little confused is all.” Shownu said lightly.

“Of all the things I rehearsed to say, I can promise you that exact sentence had never crossed my mind.:

“Rehearsed to say? We can just have a conversation, if you're comfortable with it that is.” Shownu said, noticing how uncomfortable you seemed to be.

“I was just really confused, still am I guess. We've been out together a couple times and I wasn't really sure where we stood since neither of us have ever really acknowledged it.”

“In my opinion, that's a sign right there.” Shownu responded.

“Sign of what?” you asked, not really sure what Shownu had meant.

“That a relationship isn't really in the cards for us.”

“Oh, right.” you said, not sure how else to respond to that.

“Are you disappointed by me saying that?” Shownu asked.

You looked up at him, surprised.

“Honestly, no.” you said. You felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders by your admission.

“I like hanging out with you and listening to you run your mouth, but...I just...never started developing feelings.”

“I like hanging out with you too, it’s too quiet for my liking sometimes, but it’s still fun. Should...should we give it more time? I mean it’s only been a few dates.” You said. As soon as the words were out of your mouth you wanted to slap yourself.

“No. I don’t think we should. I agree with you, that maybe it’s not been enough time. However, I just don’t see things progressing that way. Also, I can just tell you’re not really into the idea of dating.”

That was the most surprising thing Shownu had said since the start of the conversation.

“What? I’m definitely into the idea of dating.” you said, unsure of his reasoning.

“Okay, maybe you’re right. But you’re not into the idea of dating me. I think you’re really fun to hang out with, I can see why Jooheon and Kihyun enjoy your company so much, but I think..for the both of us, that’s all there is. It’s just not going to work out any other way.”

Instead of feeling more clarity as the conversation went on, you were left feeling more confused by it.

“I guess I don’t really follow.” you admitted.

“I could tell from the first date that your head wasn’t really in the moment. And that’s okay. I got to meet you and start to get to know you. While that’s the basis of dating, it’s also the starting point for friendships. I would really like to continue being your friend.”

“I would like that too. Why do I feel so weirdly hurt right now?” You asked him. This is how you knew the conversation should go, but your heart felt heavy in that moment.

“I’m not sure, but I feel it too. I think it’s probably the feeling of being rejected. Which is weird because we didn’t really reject each other. Just...agreed to leave it as it is.”

“Can I ask you a question?” you asked him, suddenly remembering Seokmin’s words from New Years Eve.

“Sure.”

“Am I exhausting?”

“Yes. But also no. You seem exhausting to me but that’s because up til recently my life has been relatively quiet and slow paced. Then I met Kihyun and then you and Jooheon. But that’s not a negative thing by any means. You seem to thrive in chaos and like it when things are fast paced. That’s a good trait to have because you don’t get overwhelmed as fast as other people do. You know where you thrive best?” Shownu asked.

You looked up at him, waiting for him to answer. You were too lost in thought to voice any words right now.

“You thrive best when you’re at home.”

{Thirty Two}{Master List}

"Tell me everything." Mei said the second you had the door closed upon returning home.

"Did you wait up for me?" You asked.

"Of course. You went out with someone you barely know. I was worried. Now that I see you're safe and unharmed, I need the details."

You laughed as you set your purse down before going to sit with Mei on the couch.

"It was...fun. But horribly awkward. The awkwardness never really went away. We had good conversation, but it was almost stifled at times. I felt like I was walking on eggshells. I was constantly watching what I said and tried not to be...too violently myself." 

"Oh honey. That's not right. Shownu knows quite a bit about you. You shouldn't have to hide yourself or monitor yourself for  man. You're great as you are."

"I know. But...he's so soft spoken and kind. He likes quiet and alone time. I'm loud and obnoxious. I swear and have no verbal filter. We're total opposites and I couldn't get past that." You quietly admitted.

"So are you guys going out again?" Mei asked.

"Yes? I mean, we'll be seeing each other again. He said he had a great time and would love to 'hang out' again sometime. Honestly, if we're looking at it as just hanging out between friends, I feel better about it. He's gorgeous and so freaking nice, but I don't know that the awkwardness will ever go away."

"That's okay too dear. Don't push anything, just let it progress. Whether it leads to dating or the addition of another friend, it'll be good for you."

-----

The next week, Shownu picked you up at the house again.  He came in, making small talk with Minghao for a while while you finished getting ready.

You came out of your room dressed down more than the first date. 

Your hair was down and straight and you wore plain jeans with a sweater. You immediately felt more comfortable when you saw Shownu dressed much the same.

"I'm going to have some of the guys over tonight for some drinks and movies. Feel free to stay after you guys are done." Minghao invited Shownu.

"That'd be fun. Kihyun said he'd be over tonight too. Any particular time you want to be home?" Shownu asked you.

"No. Only plans I had today were with you so I'm game for whatever." You easily agreed.

"Jooheon's bringing pizza over about 8, so maybe we'll see ya guys for dinner." 

"Thanks Ming, we'll let ya know."

-----

"So where are we heading today?" You asked Shownu after you guys had left the house.

"There's a new cafe open by the library, thought we'd check that out. They have different crafts and stuff to do too."

"That sounds awesome."

"You're pretty fly by the seat of your pants huh?" Shownu asked.

"Yeah, not much of a planner to be honest. Drives Minghao nuts. Only thing I planned since moving in there is the painting and even then I kind of winged it once I started." You laughed.

"What about you? Are you spontaneous or a planner?" You asked him.

"Oh, planner for sure. I like organization and I felt anxious without it."

You nodded your head at his words 

"Did you plan to bring me here before hand?"

"I've been planning it for two weeks. I wanted to bring you here for our first date, but they don't serve dinner. Didn't think you'd want a lunch date."

You felt bad that he had changed his plans, thinking you'd be uncomfortable.

"Can I be honest for a minute?" You asked when he parked the car.

"Sure." He said, shutting off the ignition and turning towards you.

"I felt really awkward on our first date."  You told him.

"I know. I could tell. But it didn't feel very gentlemanly to bring it up. Especially because I was too."

"I'm more comfortable this time though."

"Me too. It feels like there's less pressure this time." Shownu said, smiling widely at you.

"I just don't think dressing up for extravagant dinners are my thing. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way." You told him.

"You didn't. I just thought that's what was expected on first dates." 

"Oh God, no. At least, not for me. I'm more of a 'stay home and hang out together' kind of person. I like dressing up and going out on occasion, but it felt weird last time. I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. Let's go in and have some lunch. Just...hang out."

-----

Lunch was better than you expected.

You tried a few different kinds of coffee and horribly painted some figurines. 

Shownu had told you all about his life up until now, smiling happily when he talked about Wonho and Kihyun.

You'd filled him in briefly in your life up until Jisung, and then went more into detail about your most recent past. You hadn't intended on it being that way, but you still weren't comfortable talking too much of the past. 

You told him all about the boys shenanigans and how you'd met Kihyun.  All stuff neither of you had discussed on the first date out of awkwardness.

You were happy to find that talking to Shownu was easier than you thought, and more enjoyable.

"You sure you want to come in?" You asked, giving him an out if he wanted it.

"Sure. I'd like to hang out with your friends more. Plus, my friends are here too, so it'll be fun."

You smiled at him as you both exited the car.

You walked in to see the house was pretty packed. 

Minghao, Jooheon and Jihoon sat on the big couch while Seungcheol and Wonwoo sat in the chairs.  Seungkwan had been relegated to the floor. Again. This time kihyun and wonho sat with him.

"Hey dimples." You said, poking Jooheon's cheek as you walked by.

"Hey babes. How was the date?" He asked.

"I had a lot of fun. What about you Shownu?" You asked.

"It was fun. She's horrible at painting though." Shownu laughed.

Jooheon turned towards him quickly, not realizing he'd come in too.

"Oh shit. Hey man. Sorry, I don't mean anything when I call her babes. It's just a nickname." He defended quickly.

"Why do you have to explain her nickname to me?" Shownu asked, confusion evident in his tone.

"Just didn't want you getting the wrong idea. We're just comfortable around each other." Jooheon told him.

"Okay." Shownu said, still not understanding.

"He's letting you know they're not sleeping together." Kihyun helpfully added.

"Oh, I didn't think that at all. Neither of you has to explain your friendship to me. That's your business, I have no reason to question it."

"Right. Well, this is sufficiently awkward. Thanks kihyun." You said.

"I'm going to go change, I'll be out in a few minutes." 

You made sure to slap Kihyun roughly on the back of the head when you passed him.

(31)

“The cut of that dress makes you look like you have posts for legs.” Mei said as you came out of the dressing room.

“Jesus, don’t mince your words Mei.” you laughed, looking in the mirror.  You couldn’t even be mad at her, she was right.

“The more I’m around you, the more I realize that Minghao definitely picked up more of your traits than his fathers.” 

You walked back into the dressing room and began stripping the dress off in exchange for a sweater dress and leggings.

“Oh, definitely.  I can’t say I’m upset about it.  I know he’ll be alright knowing he’s not as soft hearted and easily manipulated like Alan used to be.” Mei laughed.  “Alan is a man that will avoid conflict if at all possible and will apologize for things he didn’t even do wrong.”

“I don’t know...Minghao is soft-hearted too.  When I was putting my boards together for school he finished one for me one night.  I woke up one morning and he’d spent almost three hours in the middle of the night finishing it.”

“Hm...he definitely has his moments.”

You finished getting dressed and walked out to show Mei.

“Oh. Okay, I think we have a winner.” Mei said, standing up to appraise your outfit.

“Yeah?” you asked walking over to the mirror.

The sweater dress was a soft lilac cashmere that went up to your neck, but draped slightly on the back and falling an inch above the knee.  

“I have some white flower patterned leggings that’ll go with this.  I’m thinking maybe the black ankle boots I showed you the other day too.” you said turning back to Mei.

“I think it’ll be perfect.  Maybe wear your hair up to show off that cute little swoop in the back.”

You nodded your head before heading back into the dressing room to change into your own clothes.  As you were up at the register paying for the dress, you turned to Mei.

“Thank you for bringing me.  I don’t have anyone to shop with that isn’t Minghao or Kihyun, so it has definitely been more productive than it would have been with either of them.”

“I’m happy to come dear.  I think now that we’re moving here, we’ll have many more chances to do stuff.  We’ll both need a reprieve from the Xu men in our lives.” 

Mei ended up helping you do your hair and makeup for the night as well.  The two of you had really bonded the last few days and you relished in having another woman so close by.

You and Mei were walking out of the bedroom and she kept gushing about how beautiful you look.

“All I’m saying is if he doesn’t want a second date with you, I’ll take you out on one.” Mei said, bumping her hip into yours.

“That honestly makes me happy.  Either way, we should definitely go on a date.  I doubt Shownu would care if I went out on a date with someone else if he knew who it was.”

“You’re dating more than one person?” Minghao asked as he stepped into the house.

“Ya know. We have this problem because you come into the tail end of conversations and just assume shit.”

“Well...you...yeah okay you’re right. I’m sorry.  So… what was the rest of the conversation so I can ask again if you’re dating more than one person.”

“I am definitely dating more than one person.” you said, teasing him a little.

“I mean I guess when you go out looking like that you could probably date the whole town and they’d thank you.” Minghao said as he gave you a thorough look.

You couldn’t help the deep blush that rose on your cheeks.  You had to deflect quickly or you’d make an ass of yourself for sure.

“I’m going on a date with your mom, dumbass.” you said.

“I...don’t know how to feel about that.” Minghao said honestly, looking between you and Mei.

“We’ve bonded and I refuse to break up with her. Suck it up dear.” Mei laughed, pulling you into a one armed hug.

“And I think it’s time for me to go to my room.  Have fun tonight!”

You walked anxiously around the house as you waited for Shownu to arrive.

“Sweetie, calm down.  You’re going to pace a hole in the floor at this rate.” Mei laughed from her spot on the couch.

“Why the hell am I so nervous? I’m not the nervous type. I’m the comfortable type. I like people, I like talking to people and hanging out with people.  This shouldn’t make me nervous in the slightest!”

“Because it’s new.  New situations can have that effect on people.  Especially because you’re meeting someone new and you’ll be alone with him.  You don’t know his temperament or what he likes. You don’t know if you have common interests or what his favorite food is.  It’s daunting because there’s a lot you don’t know.”

“My God Mei, you’re making it so much worse!” you said.  “Now I can’t stop thinking about all the things I don’t know about him.”

“If you’re this nervous just to go out to dinner with someone, how nervous were you when you moved in here?”

“Oh, I wasn’t nervous at all.” You said, stopping in your tracks to look at Mei.

“I was comfortable enough with Minghao that I moved in literally as soon as he offered it to me the day I came to see it.  Maybe I was naive, but I just...felt comfortable with him.”

“Comfort isn’t a bad thing at all.  I’m glad you felt that way. We wouldn’t be here watching you be a neurotic mess otherwise.”

“You’re horrible Mei!” you laughed.

You heard a faint knock at the front door and looked at Mei frantically.

“This is where you go open the door.” Mei said softly.

You nodded your head, took one deep breath to calm yourself, and opened the door.

“Hello, Y/n,” Shownu greeted immediately.

“Hi.”

The two of you stood there awkwardly for a long time.  

“Well, guys, have a good night.” Mei said, trying to usher you guys along.  Even to her, it was painfully awkward to watch.

“Oh, right. Um, hello ma’am. I’m Shownu.” He said, introducing himself to Mei.

You watched on fondly as you realized Shownu seemed as nervous as you.

"I know. We met on New Years Eve. Nice to see you again. You guys have fun."

Shownu nodded his head before ushering you out the door.

You turned back to smile at Mei one more time before leaving.

(30)

The night ended well into the morning.

You had a good laugh when Minghao was right about his mom drinking the boys under the table. She'd even lasted longer than half of them before going to bed.

Shownu had left with Kihyun and Wonho a little after one. You guys had exchanged numbers and agreed to get together next week for your date.

You'd gone to bed drunk, but happy, with how the night went as a whole.

When you woke up the next morning you were feeling rather rough.

“Good morning!” you heard Mei’s chipper voice say from the kitchen.

“How are you so okay right now?" You asked Mei on your way to the coffee pot.

"Years of practice my dear." Mei laughed.

"You're a better woman than me." 

"No, I'm a better drunk. Big difference."

You sat down and enjoyed your coffee for a few minutes before getting up and helping Mei with breakfast.

"So, is it usually so rambunctious around here?" Mei asked you.

"Usually worse." You laughed.

"Honestly though, only when we have parties. A lot of nights are just me and Minghao, maybe one or two of the other guys. We're all pretty close so we see each other a lot."

"That's nice. I'm so happy to see Minghao made so many friends. It's good for him. He didn't thrive socially back home."

That news surprised you.

"Well he's doing exceptionally well in the social department now." You told her confidently.

"I noticed. I also noticed the way you two interact is quite hilarious. I've seen you bicker, but last night was another level." Mei laughed as you came to stand next to her at the stove.

"Oh, that was nothing!  You should have seen the night I just about broke his legs.” 

“Oh...do tell!” Mei said, handing you the spatula for the pancakes she had been working on.

“Our friend Jooheon, cutie with deep dimples, asked me to make dessert one night.  I don’t do a whole lot of baking but I can make a mean cheesecake. Everything went fine until it came time to pull it out of the oven.  It was perfect Mei, perfect! And then Minghao thought it’d be hilarious to pinch me on the side. I’m extremely ticklish. I wasn’t able to keep a good grip on the pan and the whole cheesecake fell to the ground.  Before Minghao could turn around and run away, I kicked him hard in the kneecap. I think we both cried that night.” you laughed.

“I cannot believe he did that! Who ruins a perfectly good cheesecake?!” Mei asked.

“Your son apparently.” you laughed as you flipped over a pancake.  “He asked me to make him another one a few months later and I very politely told him no.”

“Um, that’s a lie.  You told me to fuck off.” Minghao said, coming to stand between you and his mother.

“Minghao! I didn’t want to repeat that in front of your mother! It’s so crass.” 

“So you mean to tell me that you’re going to censor yourself forever? You have the mouth of a sailor, my friend.  No point in hiding it from Mom forever.” Minghao told you as he reached for a piece of bacon from the pan his mom was tending to.

His mom slapped his hand before he could grab a piece.

“Ma, what the hell?” Minghao asked, rubbing the back of his hand.

“You can be patient you brat.  Also, you’re going to burn yourself.” 

You took a step back, leaning against the counter to observe the interaction between the two.  You knew Minghao had a soft side to him, one you’d seen a few times, but watching him interact with his mom was different.  His face was always bright and a smile adorned his face. You couldn’t help but smile at the absolute adoration Minghao seemed to have for his mother.

I’m definitely going to like having her here you thought to yourself as you watched smile up at her son.

“Planning on burning all my pancakes?” Mei asked you suddenly.

“Oh shit!” you said, hurrying to flip them over.

“And you’ve already sworn in front of mom.  Good going.” Minghao laughed, patting you on the shoulder as he walked by.

Finding an outfit to wear on a date was officially your least favorite thing to do in life.  You owned a lot of clothes, but none of them seemed right.

You threw on the long sleeved peach colored dress you’d been mulling over and left to seek out Minghao.

“Does this make me look easy?” you asked, barging into his bedroom.

“What?” he asked, popping his head out of his ensuite bathroom.

“Do I look easy?” you reiterated to him.

“No, it looks amazing on you. But don’t wear it.” Minghao said.

“What? Why not?” you asked, looking down at yourself.  You tried not to show that Minghao telling you your clothes looked amazing made your heart speed up a bit.

“Because it’s January, which means it’s freezing outside.  Also, that’s the dress you were wearing when Jihoon tripped and spilled wine down the side of it. I can still see the stain.” Minghao said, point to your right arm.

“Ugh!” you threw your head back in frustration before leaving the room again.

“Struggling?” Mei asked you before you could close your bedroom door again.

“Mei!” you said suddenly, running to grab her hand.  “I don’t know what I’m doing. Can you help me get ready? Shownu and I agreed to meet here at the house tonight before going out and I don’t know what I’m doing or what to wear. I don’t even know where my keys are right now.”

“Y/n, sweetie, calm down.  Let’s go to the shop a few blocks down and see if we can’t find something for you.  Sometimes something new is better when going on a date.”

“That sounds perfect, thank you. Let me change out of this dress and I’ll be right out.”

Minghao came out of his room just as you’d retreated to your own.

“Does she get frazzled like this often?” Mei asked him.

“Depends on the situation.  I’ve not experienced this kind of frazzled cause she’s not dated since moving here.  But yeah, she gets jumpy like that semi-frequently.” he laughed.

“Well, she’s followed through on it, what about you?”

“What about me?” Minghao asked.

“Planning on dating?” 

“Nope. I’m good.  Tried that a while ago and it crashed and burned.  I think I’m good for a while.”

Mei looked at her son surprised.

“I didn’t know you’d been seeing someone.”

“I was waiting to tell you guys until I thought it was going to work.  Her name is Lyn and we hung out a few times and went on a few dates, but I ended up kicking her out of the house one night and I’ve not heard from her since.” Minghao told his mom honestly.

“You kicked her out? What happened?”

“Well, she didn’t like that Y/n lived here with me even though she never said it.  And then she talked down about Y/n one night when some of the guys were here. Called her tacky and said some other shit we didn’t like.  I told her it wasn’t going to work and asked her to leave.”

Mei stared at Minghao for a long minute, trying to read  between the lines of what he was saying and he wasn’t saying.

“What?” Minghao asked.

“Nothing.  Just...figuring some stuff out is all.”

“Okay. I’m ready!” you said as you came out of your bedroom.

“Alright well you beautiful ladies have a good time together.  No secret sharing about me!” Minghao said, seeing you and his mom out the door.

“No promises.” you laughed, looping your arm through Mei’s.

“Don’t forget your keys Y/n.  They’re in the coffee mug next to the sink.” Minghao said as he walked back towards his bedroom.

Mei just smiled softly, watching you skip happily to the sink.

“I swear to god I would be lost without that man.” you said as you went to get your keys.

{29} -- {Masterlist}

“Listen we’re so not gonna get in this argument again!” you yelled at Minghao.  Everyone was having a good time and the drinks were flowing. But that meant your mouth was going off as well.   Everyone sat around the living room watching the two of you argue.

“It’s not an argument, it’s a fact!” Minghao yelled back at you, leaning over Seokmin who was sitting next to him.

“Are we about to have the great Tangled debate 2.0?” Vernon asked, remembering the last debate hadn’t ended so well.

“OH! You’d told me about this in passing once but never elaborated on what it was about.” Kihyun said from across the room.

“It’s cause she’s salty and knows she’s wrong.” Minghao said, laughing at himself.

“FROZEN IS NOT A BETTER MOVIE THAN TANGLED!” you yelled, pointing your finger at him intently.

You vaguely heard Mei laughing at you and her son arguing back and forth.

“Of course it is! It was about healing and the bond of sisters and it proved that they didn’t need a man to help them.” Minghao said.

“Yeah okay. Cause Anna could have gotten up that mountain by herself. Kristoff definitely didn’t help her do anything!  And Flynn helped Rapunzel in good ways! He helped her get out and discover herself. He gave up the one thing he thought he loved more than anything with the crown, for her!”

“You do realize you’re both arguing over children’s movies right?”

“Shut up Jooheon!” both you and Minghao said at the same time.

“I just… I can’t believe you!” you yelled, pointing your finger in Minghao’s direction.

“Show of hands. Who thinks Tangled is better than Frozen?” you asked.

About half the hands went up, including Mei’s.

“Mom! The betrayal.” Minghao said, holding his hand to his heart.

“Alright, now Frozen.” Minghao said, turning back towards the room.

“Damn.” you said.

It was split, 50/50.

“Shownu”, you said turning to him hopefully “You didn’t vote!” 

“Oh, well that’s because Mulan is better than both of them.” he said matter of factly.

The whole room laughed and the argument was effectively over.

You smiled up at him.  Potential indeed.

The rest of the night was spent in easy exchanges between all your friends and Shownu, and well as Minghao’s parents.

Shownu seemed to fit in with Wonwoo and Joshua more than he did with anyone else, but everyone was really good about making him feel welcome.  There was only one situation that could have ruined things.

“So, you’re dating Y/n” you heard Seokmin ask Shownu.

“I’ve literally just met her.” Shownu said lightly.  You giggled at how uninterested he sounded, but Kihyun had assured you he just had a monotone way of speaking.

“So, you’re not dating?” Seokmin asked for clarification.

“Jesus Seokmin, we’re going on a date next week.  Happy?” you asked, throwing an apologetic look towards Shownu.

“Not really.” he shrugged.

“What the hell! Why?” you asked, not understanding how this situation affected him at all.

“Just not. Nothing against you or anything man, but this is Y/n.” Seokmin explained.

“No offense taken.  I don’t quite understand what her being Y/n has anything to do with you not wanting her to date, but that's your business not mine.” Shownu said, effectively ending the conversation.

You waited half an hour after that to excuse yourself and then sought out Seokmin.

"Hey, what the hell was that?" You asked him.

"What?" 

"All that shit to Shownu?" You asked, pointing to the couch where you'd been sitting.

"Oh, nothing."

"That's a lie, but okay. Can I be very frank with you for a moment?" You asked.

"Of course."

"Do you...do you like me?" You asked, wondering why the hell you'd said that out of everything you were thinking.

"What?" Seokmin asked, taken off guard by the question.

"You're just weird about the whole Shownu thing. And then I was thinking about Lyn saying my flirting was tacky and I'm wondering if maybe I took it too far." You told him honestly.

You were surprised to hear him laugh loudly.

"First of all, forget Lyn's opinion. Second, I don't like you. I enjoy flirting with you more than I enjoy most other things, and you're pretty nice to look at. But Y/n, sweetie, you're exhausting."

"I'm… What?" You asked.

"You're always going 100 miles an hour, your mouth never stops, you're extremely eccentric and you are just busy all the time. They're all amazing things and make you who you are. But damn the thought of dating you, no matter how cute and fun you are, makes me feel exhausted."

You could have been offended, someone else may have been, but his explanation made you smile.

"So what was that then? Why are you against me dating?" 

"I'm not against you dating. I'm against you dating him."

"Why? You literally only know his name." You aruged.

"It has nothing to do with who he is necessarily. I wouldn't want you to date Vernon or Seungkwan either and I love them like brothers."

"So...it's me? I'm not...good enough to date him or your friends?" You asked, feeling yourself shut down a little.

"What? Jesus Christ Y/n, no! Listen to me when I say any of us, me included, would be lucky as hell to have you to come home to. I just don't think it's what you need. You need someone to keep you grounded. Someone who can help you at your high and your lows. Me not wanting you to date them has nothing at all to do with you, but yet everything to do with you. Also, you shouldn't think too much of it because what I think and feel shouldn't matter."

You still weren't sure exactly what Seokmin was talking about, but at least you knew it wasn't a fault in your end 

"Okay. I'm not sure what else to say to be honest. So… Okay."

"It's okay. You went about it in a weird way, but I think I get your intentions. Thanks Seokmin. Guess you're heart is as big as those thighs." You said, slapping his thigh for emphasis as you stood up.

"Listen. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said anything or made it awkward. If you like him or start to date him, I'll be happy for you. We all just want you to be happy, but that doesn't mean it's my place to say what I said back there. I really am sorry." 

{28} - {Masterlist}

A lot of the guys were lingering around the living room.  Many introducing themselves to Minghao’s parents. You were surprised to find out Minghao’s parents were going to be staying at the house instead of going out and celebrating together.

You’d laughed when Mei told you that there was nothing that could be more entertaining than staying home and enjoying her first house party.  You might have actually fallen in love with her in that moment.

The more time went on without Kihyun’s group showing up, the more nervous you became.

“Maybe he changed his mind.” you told Mei when you were both in the kitchen getting something to drink.

“I’m sure Kihyun would have let you know if plans changed.  He doesn’t seem like a total dunce.” she laughed.

“You’re right.” you told her, trying to ebb away your anxiety.

“I know I am.  Kihyun just walked in the door.  Gonna say, if the guy next to him is Shownu, you have to tell me everything.” she said, nudging you on your shoulder.

Your heart jumped in your chest as you looked towards the door.  But it fell just as fast.

“That’s not Shownu.  That’s our friend Wonho.” you told her.  “But I see it. He’s extremely good looking. Oh! Remind me to show you pictures from Halloween.  He walked in here as a greek god.”

“That must have been some sight.” Mei said laughing.

“It absolutely was.” 

You looked around, but didn’t see an unfamiliar person with them.  So...maybe he didn’t come after all.

“What’s got you looking so disappointed?” Kihyun asked as he walked up to you.

“Am I late? Are you mad?” he asked.

“No. Did Shownu not come with you?” you asked.  

You weren’t sure why, but you were feeling self conscious in that moment.  What if he had a change of heart the more he thought about it. 

“Really? No Hello Kihyun...no nice to see you Kihyun...no looking quite dashing Kihyun.  Just ‘where’s my man?’”

“Sorry.  Hello Kihyun. Nice to see you Kihyun.  Looking kind of dashing Kihyun. Did Shownu not come?” you asked again.

“Sorry, Shownu’s right here.” you heard an unfamiliar voice say from behind you.

You turned around and came face to face with...well a chest.  

Shownu was much taller than you’d expected.

“Y/n?” he asked, holding his hand out to you.

“Yes. Hello, Nice to meet you.” you said, shaking his hand.

“You as well.  Sorry we’re late, I was trying to think of what to say to you when we met.” he told you, completely transparent.

“Shownu, your awkward is showing.” Kihyun laughed.

“Hey, shut your mouth.” you snipped at Kihyun.  You didn’t want him to make Shownu feel uncomfortable.  It was actually quite cute what he said.

“Y/n, your crazy is showing.” Kihyun said, turning on you.

“Kihyun, that’s impolite to say to a lady.” Shownu said, defending you.

“Wow.” Wonho said.  “We’ve literally witnessed the difference between these two personalities within five seconds.  This should be interesting.”

You were nervous around Shownu and you weren’t sure why.  Whether it be because he was a new person, or because he had potential to become more, you couldn’t help the shyness that came out suddenly.

“So, um tell me a bit about yourself.” you prompted Shownu as you guys were sitting at the table.

He seemed to be calculating how to answer the question. 

In that moment you were hyper aware of all the eyes on you.  Not only was Mei hovering close by, but it seemed like everyone in the room was watching your interaction.

“Well,” Shownu began, pulling your attention back to him. “I work at the library, I have two cats, I like to read and quiet spaces are one of my favorite things.”

You couldn’t help but laugh internally about how total opposites you guys already were.

“I am a teacher of little ones. I have no pets, but I basically have a dozen children in all these guys, I like TV and music and quiet spaces actually drive me crazy.” you laughed.

“That’s okay though. Everyone is different. I’ve been told you’re quite obnoxious.” he said bluntly.

“Ya know, I really wish you weren’t friends with Kihyun and Wonho.  Jooheon probably wouldn’t talk too much shit about me, but I feel like you’ve already got a bad image of me in your head.” you told him, feeling even more insecure with yourself.

“They can tell me whatever they want, but I’ll make the judgements myself.  I’m not sure what he told you about me, but it’s probably all about how shy and awkward I am.  As for what they’ve said about you, it’s basically that you’re scatterbrained, loud, and beautiful.”

The beautiful part had thrown you a little. The rest...well that was expected from them.

“Well, I definitely don’t think having you at my house for the first meeting was my finest choice.  You’ll definitely see all those sides of me. But...it’s just who I am.”

“I can’t really fault you for being yourself can I?” Shownu asked you genuinely.

You smiled kindly at him. 

He definitely had potential.