#lghtwithin

@lghtwithin​.      →     from here.

“ please don't go. “

&  oh  ,  if he had one weakness in this world  ,  it was sora.  sora  ,  with big sad eyes asking him to stay  ,  &  sora with a kind  ,  bright smile dragging him out to play  ,  &  sora  ,  reaching for his hand when he was shrouded in  darkness  .

if there was anything in this world that could  ruin  him  ,  it was this. 

‘ sora... ’ 

carefully  ,  as if the boy would  break  under his touch  ,  riku grabs his wrist  ,  that same  gentle  smile crossing his face  ,  a little bittersweet  ,  like a cup of coffee without enough sugar.  he is no  gentle  thing  ,  but he has  always  made himself whatever sora needs.

&  if sora needs him to stay  ,  he’ll stay. 

‘ i’m not going anywhere, promise. ’ 

&  that smile stays on his face until in turns to something  bitter  in his mouth  ,  until the coffee’s gone cold  &  not worth drinking  ,  until the grounds are all that left  ,  bitter  &  clumping in your teeth  ,  a hard to swallow mouthful like him.

@lghtwithin​.      →     from here.

“ it’s okay to cry, you know. “

‘ i’m not crying. ’ 

it’s the same tone of voice he used to give the other kids when they’d make fun of him  ,  or the old ladies on their porch when he walked home alone from the pier  ,  or sora’s mom when she used to pull him into one of those  tight  warm hugs because she knew he was sad about his parents being gone again  ,  even though they were gone all the time.

even now  ,  he wipes at his eyes with his arm  furiously  ,  sniffling as he draws his knees up to his chest.  there’s a  hole  in his chest that has ached  &  ached  &  something  dark  has come crawling out of it  ,  chewing on his ribs until they  break  under the strain.  he’s been alone before  ,  he was  always  alone for the longest time  ,  before sora came  &  suddenly he was  never  alone.

&  then he was alone again  ,  with a sora-shaped hole in his heart that he never quite knew how to fill.  all the bad parts of him had come  flooding  out  ,  turned into a violent  &  cruel beast with a taste for blood.  so he does not cry  ,  he holds in every tear he’s ever wanted to shed in hopes that it might  kill  this ugly thing inside him  ,  the parasite that consumes every good part of him  ,  if any ever existed.  he had always been sharp edges  ,  blunt words  ,  a rattlesnake trod upon  ,  unsure what to do when someone came that close  &  didn’t hurt him.

he doesn’t look at sora when he lowers his arm  ,  chin pressed against his knees as he look out at the ocean  ,  tied-up hair blowing in the breeze.

@lghtwithin​.      →     from here.

💐

‘ what got into you all of a sudden ?? ’ 

it’s quite  bold  of sora to assume riku ever saw himself getting married  ,  let alone had a  dream wedding  really.  it’d be a  lie  to say he hadn’t thought about it  ,  but  still  ,  that’s an  odd  question  ,  even for sora.  taking a handful of sand  &  letting it run through his fingers  ,  riku  sighs  ,  cheeks a little  pink  as he looks towards the ocean.